by Mary May
Her gaze then landed on her legs stretched out in front of her. Slowly she pulled her right leg under her until all she could see was her thigh. The empty air below where her calf should be made her heart thump and pound crazily in her chest. Oh, God… how would Nate ever recover from all of this?
The loud buzzing of the cell phone in her purse made her jump and her heart immediately started hammering in fear that it was the hospital until she saw her mom’s face on the screen.
“Mom?” Charlie tried to keep the crack out of her voice but she was sure she failed.
“Charlie, sweetheart, are you okay? How’s Nate?” Staring up at the ceiling, she blinked rapidly to slow the flood of tears that threatened to flood out. Charlie answered, “It’s bad, Mom, real bad. His doctor said…” Over the next several minutes Charlie gave Sabrina the rundown on Nate’s injuries and the doctor’s expectations about his recovery.
When she was finished, the line was silent for a few long seconds and she knew her mom was praying for wisdom. Finally Sabrina’s voice came back on the line. “Honey, the doctors base their expectations on what they know. But we know the Great Physician, and He will be the one to have the final say on Nate’s recovery. You believe that, don’t you, sweetie?”
She nodded then realized her mom couldn’t see her. “Yes, Mama, of course I do. You know I put all my trust and faith in God; I always have.”
“Charlie, listen to me carefully, okay? Your faith has never really been tested. Up until now for the most part your faith has been an easy thing for you to hold on to. Don’t be surprised if you start to have doubts or questions. That’s natural; it’s part of growing. More to the point, don’t be surprised if Nate grows angry with God or even with you.”
The last part of her mom’s statement caught Charlie off guard. “Why would Nate grow angry at me?”
“If you stay true to your faith while he struggles with his, then you may become the enemy by proxy, so to speak. I just want you to be prepared.”
“Mama, you and Daddy are coming up here, right?” Try as she might, she couldn’t keep the crack out of her voice at that moment. Her desperate need to hear her mama’s voice and to feel Devon’s arms wrapped tightly around her was nearly unbearable.
“Of course we are, honey! Just give us a couple of days to get things squared away down here, okay? We should be there by Monday I would think at the latest. But we are always a phone call away, and if something happens and you need me sooner, I can hop on a plane and your daddy can follow in a day or two. Do you need me to do that?”
Banging her head against the door, Charlie fought with herself, torn between wanting to tell her mom to be on the next thing flying and being the strong young woman she wanted to believe she was capable of being. “Don’t be a coward, Charlie Marie,” she admonished herself softly.
“What was that, honey? What did you say?” she heard Sabrina ask in confusion.
“Oh, nothing worth repeating, Mama. You come when you and Dad get everything settled at home. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure, baby?” The worry was evident in her mom’s voice.
“Yes, ma’am. I will call you every evening and update you on Nate until you get here, but I’ll be fine.” She hung up after a minute longer. Then she sat on the floor looking at the phone in her hand like it would tell her what to do.
“Well, it would probably tell me to get myself up off the floor.” With a groan she stood up and walked into the bathroom to run a hot bath. Minutes later she sank down into the near-scalding water and bubbles with a sigh. At least the hotel the Jackson’s had chosen came with really deep tubs. Lying back she closed her eyes and tried to relax by taking long deep breaths. After a few minutes she sat up suddenly, splashing water over the rim of the tub. “Sweet mercy! I’ve never understood the hot bath thing! It just makes me hot!” Getting out, she wrapped a towel around herself then padded back to the bedroom to open a window. The balmy breeze blew the sheer curtains and cooled her overheated skin. She sat on the side of the bed looking at the city as the day faded and night claimed its time. The lights grew brighter as the sky grew dimmer. It was beautiful, but Charlie wouldn’t trade a sunset from home for it. She slipped on some shorts and one of Nate’s old t-shirts then curled up in the middle of the bed. Pulling a pillow into her arms to muffle her sobs, she finally gave in…She cried for Nate, she cried for his parents, she cried for the future that was changed forever, and lastly she cried for herself.
Gideon pulled the blanket up over Charlie’s shoulders after she had cried herself to sleep. The poor kid had cried buckets for what seemed like forever. He knew she felt alone and completely unprepared for what lay ahead, but what she didn’t know was no one was prepared for such a tragedy. He thought about what Shana had said earlier about wishing to do more, and it sank in exactly what she was talking about.
The next morning Nate’s parents waited for her in the lobby. They smiled and murmured good morning then turned and walked off to the front doors to stand and wait for their car to be brought around. Charlie shook her head and once more bit the inside of her cheek to keep from saying what she was thinking at that moment. If she kept this up, she would need to purchase a mouth guard to keep from chewing a hole in the side of her cheeks! They rode to the hospital in total silence. Once they arrived, the trip up to the ninth floor and then the walk to Nate’s room was also in silence. Charlie told herself it didn’t matter; nothing mattered right now but Nate.
Dr. Reed was coming out of Nate’s room when they arrived. “How is Nathaniel, Dr. Reed? Has he shown any improvement?”
The doctor frowned at Nate’s mother. “Mrs. Jackson, I advised your husband yesterday that this will be an extremely long, slow and painful recovery. His improvements will come as the weeks and months pass, not days and certainly not hours.”
Kate Jackson frowned as the doctor stared at her. “When did you tell him that? I was right there and I don’t remember you saying anything like that.”
Rubbing his eyes, Dr. Reed sighed and slipped Nate’s file back in its slot on the wall. “I told him that when you were having your feeling sorry for yourself crying jag yesterday. I believe the final trumpet could have sounded and gone unnoticed by you.”
Nate’s father stepped up, his face hard with anger over the doctor’s less than sympathetic statement. “I don’t appreciate you being disrespectful toward my wife. Now we have had a great shock and she will be treated with respect.”
Charlie felt like she was watching a tennis match as each person volleyed his or her response.
“Disrespect? I have shown no one any disrespect. I will tell you this one time. Nathaniel is my number one priority. I don’t have any responsibility to you or your feelings. I’m not one to coddle hysterical mothers or outraged fathers. I’m also not going to allow anyone access to Nathaniel who isn’t beneficial to his recovery. I’m aware that I come across as hard and unfeeling, but we are in a battle to save your son’s life, a war as real as the one he fought in, and I don’t have time for feelings or tip-toeing around emotions.” He stopped and looked across the hallway, seeming to gather his thoughts. “You can move Nathaniel to another hospital, you can find another doctor who is more politically correct than I am, but let me ask you something. What is more important here, your feelings or your son’s life? There was a reason the Army brought him here, to this facility and to me.” The doctor paused and let Nate’s parents absorb what he had said. Charlie personally hoped they left Nate here. Something about Dr. Reed made her feel optimistic about Nate’s recovery. He could treat her however he wanted as long as he took care of Nate.
“No, doctor. We will leave Nathaniel with you.” After making that statement Nate’s parents turned and walked away.
Dr. Reed sighed then looked down at Charlie. “Young lady, I may be wrong and I pray to God I am, but I think you are the only one left in Nate’s corner.”
Charlie watched as the Jacksons walked down to the elevator and then stepped
inside without looking back. Feeling a sense of shock and disbelief, she slowly looked back up into Dr. Reed’s hazel eyes.
“I’m not the only one in Nate’s corner. You’re standing here and more importantly God is here.”
Chapter 4
Gideon had never been more proud of Charlie than he was at that moment. She had shown tremendous courage and faith. Dr. Reed and Charlie stood in the hallway for a few more minutes discussing the treatments and what Charlie could expect if Nate woke up.
“He will wake up, doctor. I know you are going by your medical experience, but you don’t know Nate. He is a fighter and he will pull through this. I know it.”
“I hope you’re right, young lady. But the Nate that may wake up won’t be the same Nate that you kissed goodbye. Be prepared for that.”
After the doctor walked away, Charlie stood there uncertain of what to do. She couldn’t believe that the Jacksons had walked away without even seeing Nate. She had known the Jacksons most of her life, but she couldn’t honestly say that she had any kind of relationship with them. They had always been polite when she would come to their home, but they never made any kind of attempt to establish a relationship with her. She thought back to the night when she asked Nate if his parents even liked her.
Nate shut the truck door then walked around to Charlie’s side where she stood twisting the ring he had given her around and around her finger. Nate pulled her into his arms, kissing the top of her head. “Babe, of course my folks like you. Why would you think otherwise?”
Shrugging her shoulders, she stepped back so she could look up into his face. “Why won’t they hardly to speak to me? They are polite but I just feel like…I don’t know…like they would prefer someone else.”
Nate sighed then glanced toward his parents’ house. “Charlie, my parents are good people. I don’t think you could find anyone to say anything bad about them, but they are not your parents. I used to be so envious of the relationship you had with yours. Even with Devon being your stepdad, you would never know it unless someone told you. He loves you just like he loves your brothers. I love the way they accept and love everyone they meet. I even knew that night that I brought you home when you snuck out that when Devon came off your porch with murder in his eyes I wasn’t really in harm’s way.”
Charlie cocked her head and grinned. “Did you now? Because I seem to recall your face going at least a couple of shades whiter.”
Nate blushed faintly but nodded. “Well, I was pretty sure I wasn’t in harm’s way. At least I was really counting on it, because the last person I wanted to have to tangle with is Devon Lane. Christian or not, that man is slightly terrifying. Even now with all my military training I wouldn’t want to do it.”
Nate paused long enough to lower the tailgate on his truck and boost Charlie up before he sat down beside her. Charlie loved the way he still treated her like she was nine, but thank God he didn’t do it all the time!
“But that’s the point I think I’m trying to make. Even with all his let’s say… ‘Skills,’ I knew that Devon wouldn’t really hurt me; he might scare me senseless, but that would be all. If that had been my dad coming off the porch looking like that, he would have needed someone to bail him out the next morning. It would have been understandable if he had decked me. Most fathers would have done the same, but Devon didn’t.”
Charlie reached and took Nate’s hand in hers. She watched as he closed his long fingers over hers. “Babe, the difference is Christ. My parents are true Christians in every sense of the word. The love and acceptance that they show everyone comes from the love of God that is within them.”
“My parents are Christians, too; they are in church as often as yours.”
Charlie paused for a second as she prayed for wisdom. “Babe, I’m not talking about going to church. Going to church every time the doors are open no more makes you a Christian than standing in Stormy’s stall makes me a horse. It’s what happens to your insides; it’s a heart thing, a heart change. When a person has that wow moment with Jesus, something pretty radical happens. I’m not trying to say your parents are not Christians, Nate. I was just clarifying the difference between attending church and living the way Jesus would have us live. I would never disrespect them like that.” Charlie watched anxiously for any sign that she may have offended him. She relaxed when he smiled.
“Charlie, I know you would never do that. I hear what you’re saying. I wouldn’t worry about my parents not liking you. I can’t see anyone who has actually met you not adoring you. My folks may be a little different than yours but they will come around; you will see… Give them time.”
Charlie had tried to follow Nate’s advice, but as the months progressed things seemed to stay the same. Now she needed that relationship on a level that bordered on desperation. She was only a kid and without her parents here with her she could really use some adult guidance, someone to tell her that everything was going to be all right. Sighing, she pushed opened Nate’s door. Walking over to his bed, she reached for his left hand.
“Hey, babe, I know you can hear me, or at least the doctor says you probably can. I miss you so much! I know the road we face will be hard, but I need you to understand that I am here for you no matter what. I love you, Nate Jackson, always have, always will.” Pressing his palm against her cheek, she inhaled his scent that was uniquely Nate. It came through even with all the salves and medications that were smeared on his cuts and burns. Unable to stop them, tears overflowed her eyes as she prayed desperately for courage and strength, not only for herself but for his parents as well. She had a feeling they might actually need them more than she did.
Gideon and Shana watched as Charlie whispered words of love and encouragement to Nate. “He can hear her, you know.”
Gideon looked over where Shana was standing across the room near the door. “How can you be sure?”
She pointed to the multiple monitors that recorded everything from his blood pressure and heart rate to his brain wave activity and body temperature. “After she leaves, his vitals always improve for a few minutes. He hears her, no doubt about it. She is helping him to find his way back.”
Gideon kept his eyes on the monitors and while no medical doctor it didn’t take him long to see what Shana was talking about. Nate’s heart rate picked up slightly as did his blood pressure. The screen that showed his brain activity had higher peaks. Nate was responding to something, if not her words or voice, then her presence.
After spending another ten minutes praying over Nate, Charlie walked back out in the hallway. She was surprised to find Nate’s dad standing beside the door. Unsure of what to say, she offered him a small smile and opted to let him speak first. Finally he nodded his head toward Nate’s door.
“Is there any change?”
Charlie shook her head. “No, not yet.” Rick Jackson nodded his head slowly before staring up at the ceiling.
“Not yet. You say that like you really believe there will be changes at some point.” He looked down at her with dark brown eyes that were nearly identical to Nate’s.
“I do believe that, Mr. Jackson. With all my heart I believe that Nate will pull through this. I trust that God will work a miracle for Nate…for us.” Charlie watched as tears filled the man’s eyes.
“I wish I had that same confidence. I try to believe. I tried to pray…” He stopped and looked again at the door to Nate’s room.
“Why don’t you go spend some time with him?” Charlie whispered softly.
Rick shook his head and took a step away from her. “I…I can’t. Not right now.” He turned and walked quickly down the hall toward the elevators once more. Charlie raced after him, reaching for his arm just as the doors on the elevator opened.
“Mr. Jackson? You are staying, right? I mean here? In town to be close to Nate?”
After stepping into the elevator, he finally answered. “That’s what I came back to tell you. We are leaving this afternoon. My wife…she can’t deal with this�
�She isn’t strong. Not after Ellie…I’m sorry.”
Shock flooded through Charlie’s heart at his words. “But… he needs you! He needs both of you! Wait! Please!” Her words echoed down the hall as the door slid shut, cutting her off.
“Oh, God… please bring them back… I can’t do this alone…” Falling against the wall, she covered her face with her hands, sobbing in utter and complete despair, certain her world had just crashed around her.
“Here now, you are going to make yourself sick.” Charlie looked up at the gruff voice and into the face of the kindly old janitor. “Now what’s the matter, young Charlie? Your young fella hasn’t…”
As he trailed off, Charlie understood what he was asking.
“Oh! Oh, no…Nate hasn’t…he is… I mean…” She finally stopped, realizing she was making no sense. After taking a deep breath, she tried again. “Nate is still alive, no changes yet, but still hanging on.”
Mac smiled at her. “Well, thank God for that. For a second I feared the worst, hearing you cry like your heart was breaking.” He handed her another packet of tissues. Charlie smiled her thanks as she took the small packet of tissues.
“Thank you. I really am going to need to restock your supply.”
Mac patted her shoulder. “It’s what I do; don’t worry about it. Some people can give out money; I give out tissues when needed. I guess we all have a calling in life. Since Nate is still hanging on, do you want to tell me what has you so upset?”
