by Mary May
“Charlie?”
Hearing her mama say her name brought Charlie out of her thoughts. “I’m sorry, Mama. I was completely lost in thought. What did you say?”
“I said your dad is right here and wants to talk to you.” She could hear Devon speaking in the background and just the sound of his deep voice brought immediate tears to her eyes once more.
“Hey, Charlie girl, how are you? Are you taking care of yourself?”
Swiping frantically at her tears, Charlie coughed before speaking, hoping to disguise the fact she was bawling…again.
“Hey, Daddy, I’m good and, yes, I’m taking care of myself. How are you? Mama said chickenpox was a lot worse for old people,” she teased.
“Ha ha…if I ever meet any old people with it, I’ll be sure to ask. But this young man is doing fine, thank you. Your brothers were way more whiney than I was.” That statement of course brought a chorus of complaints and denials from her twin brothers Luke and D.J. Listening to them on the phone, even she couldn’t tell who was speaking until Luke’s voice cracked as he laughed. Charlie closed her eyes, picturing them stretched out on the couch, one on each end. Even as old as they were now, when they were sick they needed to touch to sleep like they did when they were babies. A wave of homesickness washed over her so strong that a sob escaped before she knew it was coming. Devon heard it and immediately walked the phone into another room.
“Baby, it’s ok to cry…you have every right and I promise no one will think less of you.”
Charlie laughed through her tears. “I swear it seems like all I do is cry, Daddy. It comes from out of nowhere. I was a blubbering mess with Nate today when I swore I would be strong for him.”
“Charlie girl, being strong doesn’t mean you don’t cry…it means you cry then you get up and do what needs to be done. I learned that from watching your mama, and you know what, little girl?”
“What?”
“You are Sabrina made over. I see that same spine of steel and unwavering faith that has sustained her through losing your dad and again waiting for me to get my head on straight. You are doing fine…just fine!”
Charlie shook her head, wanting so badly to believe Devon’s words, but he was wrong. She was nothing like her mama…not even close. Sabrina was the strongest woman Charlie knew and one day she hoped…prayed she might grow to be half the woman her mama was.
After speaking once more to her mama and hearing them promise that everyone would be well enough to travel in a couple of days, Charlie disconnected then tossed the phone on the bed beside her. As thrilled as she was about Nate waking up, she was starting to feel her stomach fill with dread at the thought of when he was told about the loss of his leg and the possibility of losing the sight in his right eye.
“One day at time, Charlie…as Seth used to say; no matter how strong a horse was, it could only jump one fence at a time.” After a quick shower she padded over to the window to gaze out at the view. California was truly beautiful or at least what she could see from her world of windows: the window here at the hotel, the cab window and the windows at the hospital. “One day, babe, we will explore all of this together. When you’re better, I promise!”
Gideon nodded his head in agreement with Charlie’s private promise to Nate. He thought back to earlier when they first arrived at the hospital. Shana’s face was a mixture of happy relief and concern. Nate waking up was a huge step in the right direction but he faced so much pain and life- shattering news that Shana truly feared for his mental well-being.
“Gideon, the loss of sight in his right eye will be hard enough to handle, but losing his leg is going to be devastating for him. He is such an active man, putting a lot of stock in physical strength.”
“Nate is strong, Shana. He will adjust and do what he needs to do, for himself and for Charlie.”
She paced the room with short fast steps, her white wings snapping in a restless motion. “I hope so, Gideon. I know how much Nate loves Charlie, probably more than anyone else, but it’s going to take more than love alone to pull them through this…It will take a miracle.”
To stop her pacing, Gideon placed a warm hand on her shoulder. He tipped her chin up with his forefinger so she would look into his eyes. “Miracles happen every single day; you know this. Our God is not out of miracles, and if one is needed, then I know He will provide it.” He watched her eyes close briefly as she took a deep breath and squared her shoulders.
“Of course, you’re right. I know that our Creator will always do what’s best. As many times as I’ve been a guardian, you wouldn’t think I would still question. But I do.”
Shaking her head she walked over to Nate and stood near his bed, her hand hovering just over his chest area. “I can feel the doubt and anger he has for God allowing the accident to happen. If he is this resentful already, how will he react once he finds out the true extent of his injuries?” She rubbed hard at her temples, sighing deeply.
“War changes a man, Gideon…It always does. Nate isn’t the first solider I’ve been assigned to. I’ve noticed it will either bring a man closer to God or drive him away…sometimes forever.”
“Shana, I know that Nate will be ok. He will pull through this and when he does and when we see what he becomes, then we will understand. I don’t have all the answers; I don’t know what I’m doing myself the majority of the time, but I try to trust that our Father knew what He was doing assigning this task to me. Everything will make sense once they are home in the heavens and we can see the full picture. Right now it’s like trying to figure out a puzzle with some of the pieces missing.”
Then Shana smiled softly as she looked down at Nate. “Thank you, Gideon. You know, for someone who claims not to have all the answers, that was a pretty good one.”
The next morning Charlie rushed to the hospital eager to see Nate. As soon as the elevator doors slid open, she knew that Dr. Reed had told him about his leg. She could hear Nate’s shouts of anger and what sounded like something being knocked over. Racing to the door of his room, she looked in and saw three nurses and Dr. Reed trying to calm him down. Sheila, the head nurse, looked up and saw Charlie standing there.
“Charlie! Thank God! Maybe you can calm him down. Dr. Reed was about to give him a sedative.” Nate rolled his head toward the door as she quickly walked up to his bed.
“Babe, I know how upset you are, but please calm down before you hurt yourself.”
Rage and pain blasted from Nate’s eyes as he glared up at her. “You have NO idea how I feel! They didn’t cut off your leg!”
Charlie raised her hands, speaking softly like she would to a spooky horse. “You’re right, Nate…I don’t have any idea. How could I? I’m sorry…but please just breathe for a minute and calm down so Dr. Reed doesn’t have to knock you out, ok? Please, babe…” Gently taking his left hand into hers, she prayed silently for peace and calm to enter his heart. What she got was Nate yanking his hand from hers then staring at the wall. He did calm down enough that the nurses left, leaving Charlie and Dr. Reed alone with a quietly seething Nate. It was clear his angry outburst had drained him.
“Nate, would you like for me to explain why we needed to amputate?”
“No.”
“I know you’re angry and in shock, but sometimes it helps to understand the reasons.”
“I said no.”
“Babe, Dr. Reed did everything he could I’m sure to save your leg, but it was just too damaged. You are very lucky to be alive.”
“Lucky? You call this lucky? I’m left here with a body that’s mangled, burned and so broken that it won’t ever be fully functional again! How am I supposed to live like this, Charlie? How? If that’s luck, then they can keep it!”
“Babe…”
“Just leave me alone, Charlie.”
“Nate…”
“Leave me alone!” Nate roared out the command, the sound coming from deep inside his chest, which made him start coughing and gasping for air.
Gid
eon and Shana both jumped at the unexpected shout. But then they jumped for another reason as a dark shadow came spilling in under the door slithering like a snake across the floor. It wound itself up the legs of Nate’s bed before settling across his chest and shoulders like a snake.
Shana drew her sword preparing to vanquish it when Gideon stopped her. “Shana, no, that’s a Berutha demon, better known as a bitter heart demon. We can’t get rid of it.”
She looked up at him sharply. “What do you mean we can’t get rid of it? You’re a warrior…isn’t that what you do?”
“We can’t because it was invited here. All the bitterness and rage that Nate is projecting right now summoned it, for lack of a better word.”
Nate’s guardian gripped her sword tighter. “Nate would never do such a thing! You are wrong!”
She took two steps toward the small reptilian demon that was openly mocking them with a small smirk across its thin lips before Gideon grabbed her arm, swinging her back around to face him. “Listen to me! I know what I’m talking about! Nate didn’t invite the thing on purpose -- it’s like a nasty side effect of allowing negative emotion to take root in your heart. That thing is pretty small now, but as it feeds off of Nate’s bitterness, it will grow. I’ve seen them the size of large gorillas. Now as soon as Nate wants it gone and tries to let go of his pain and resentment, we can send it back to hell, but until then it’s off limits.”
Shana jerked her arm out of Gideon’s hand. “Oh! I just don’t believe it! I’ve never heard of anything like that before.”
“Like you just pointed out, Shana, I’m a warrior…It’s what I do…and it’s also what I know. There are boundaries we can’t cross and rules we can’t break. One of those rules is if the host invites a demon, knowingly or not, we can’t make it leave until the host is ready for it to leave.”
“So what? It just hangs out here with us day after day until Nate decides to change? Are you serious? Tell me you’re not serious!”
Lifting his broad shoulders in a helpless gesture, Gideon nodded his head. “I’m dead serious.”
“Charlie, maybe you better step outside.” Dr. Reed gave her a sympathetic look as he tended to a still fuming Nate. Nodding her head, she walked out of the room feeling emotionally bruised. Nate had never so much as lifted his voice to her before, so his angry shout came as a shock. Walking over to the nearby waiting room, she dropped down into a chair. Pulling her knees into her chest, she buried her face in her arms. Sabrina would have fussed about having her shoes up in the chair but Charlie couldn’t really care at that moment. She knew it was going to be bad when Nate found out about his leg, but it was a million times worse actually hearing the pain in his voice and seeing the despair in his eyes.
“Oh, Jesus, help him…help him…. please God, help him!” She had no idea how long she sat there folded up praying or mostly chanting the same thing over and over for God to help him. She had no idea what else to pray for at that moment. After a while she felt a hand on her arm and looked up to see Sheila standing there holding a can of Coke and a wad of tissues, giving her a warm smile.
“Here, chica, you look like you could use these.” Charlie took the tissues, first blowing her nose and sniffling for a moment before she took the can of Coke. Popping the top, she took a long swallow, feeling the icy burn as the carbonated beverage slid down her throat.
“Thank you. I didn’t realize how thirsty I was.”
Shelia held her hand out once more, dropping two white tablets into Charlie’s open palm. “It’s aspirin for your head. It’s most likely killing you right now.”
Frowning, Charlie rubbed at her temples, which were indeed throbbing. “Oh… yeah… clearly you know this routine, huh?”
Sitting down beside her, Shelia nodded. “Yes, ma’am, not exactly my first rodeo with a yelled-at family member. I wish I could say tomorrow will be better or even the next day, but truth be told it could be weeks or even months before he stops being angry and resentful and moves on to healing. But I could be wrong.”
“But you don’t think so, do you?”
Pulling a can of Sprite from the pocket of her lime green scrubs, Shelia shook her head as she opened it and took a drink. “Honey, far be it for me to say what an individual will do, but from my experience this generally takes some time. Some serious time, and with men it’s always a lot harder. Most will in time accept it and then start working toward recovery, but some don’t or maybe they can’t; I’m not sure which.”
Charlie started shredding the tissue with nervous fingers. “Nate was planning on four more years in the military. He wanted to save up enough money to be able to start our lives together.” She stared off into space for a minute before speaking again.
“You know, I have loved him for as long as I can remember. We grew up together, played together, fought with one another, and saved one another. I know Dr. Reed doesn’t have a lot of faith in me staying with Nate. I even understand why, but he is wrong. I have loved him through so much already, even before I realized I loved him.” Getting up, she tossed the mangled tissue in the trashcan and gave Sheila a level look.
“I have dealt with Nate being pig-headed and stubborn. I have dealt with him being jealous and insecure at times. I have even dealt with him thinking he was my daddy. But this…” She raised her hands in a helpless motion. “This I don’t have a clue how to handle! I don’t know the right words to say or the right thing to do. Do I need to be gentle or would tough love be better? Do I talk or do I listen?”
“Do you leave or do you stay? Do you give him what he asks for or what he needs?” Sheila got up, putting her arm around Charlie’s shoulder. “Honey, you’re not asking anything that countless other wives and girlfriends haven’t stood right here and asked.”
“So what did you tell them?”
The nurse looked at her with brown eyes filled with compassion and understanding. “I didn’t tell them anything, because I couldn’t. The answers are different for everyone and only you can decide what’s best in your situation. I will tell you this -- I see you praying all the time. Sometimes I think you do it without even realizing, so you already have a good idea what you need to do.”
Charlie nodded. “I need to ask God for guidance and wisdom.”
Shelia winked. “That’s it, chica; that is one prayer that God always answers with yes.”
Chapter 6
Three days later Charlie ran into her mother’s arms, nearly knocking Sabrina off her feet. “Oh, mama! I have never been so happy to see you in my whole life!” She then reached for Devon who did exactly what she needed, lifting her into his arms in a tight bear hug, letting her feet dangle for a few precious seconds as she soaked in his strength.
“Hey there, can we get a hug, too?”
Charlie looked behind her in shock to see Catherine and Evan smiling at her.
“Mimi! Grandpa! I didn’t know you were coming, too!” Throwing her arms around her grandparents, she felt like she had just received the best gift ever.
The humans weren’t the only ones giving and receiving hugs. Gideon was receiving some as well. Charlotte mimicked Charlie’s approach with Gideon, throwing herself up into his arms, wrapping her wings around him for added measure. Once her bare feet were back on the floor, she started rattling off questions. “Gideon! How are you? How is Nate? How is Charlie? Is Shana ok? Bless her heart! Bless Charlie’s heart! What am I saying? Bless Nate’s heart most of all! Poor guy.” Baylor, Anthony and Zareck chuckled at the flood of questions and heart blessings that came pouring out of Charlotte in rapid-fire succession.
“What, no heart blessing for good old Gideon? I see where I stand.” He winked as he tapped the end of Charlotte’s nose. “I’m ok and Charlie and Shana are hanging in there the best they can. As far as Nate, he just found out three days ago that he lost his leg and possibly the sight in his right eye, so he isn’t doing so great at the moment. But his reaction was not unexpected or uncommon.
“What’s hi
s prognosis?” Baylor asked softly.
Gideon sighed as he scrubbed his fingers through his dark hair, green eyes full of concern, and looked at each angel. “Dr. Reed stated that right now all of his internal injuries appear to be healing, but he is not out of the woods by any means. Nate faces a very long and painful recovery, which will be even longer and harder if he pushes everyone away.”
“Is that what he is doing? Pushing Charlie away?” Gideon looked down at Charlotte who had tucked herself in under his right arm and wing. Concern radiated from her pretty green eyes as she looked up at him.
“He was pretty rough on Charlie the morning he found out about his injuries and ever since then he pretends to be asleep when she comes for a visit. I think it’s still too early to say for sure what he is doing. I’ve been listening to the nurses talk and Nate doesn’t seem to be acting out of the ordinary for someone in his condition, but he is acting very out of character for Nate and it’s breaking Charlie’s heart.” Anthony shook his head in sympathy for everyone involved.
“Have his parents been back up here at all? The family was talking about it on the plane. There has to be a reason for them to leave. I don’t know the Jackson family that well but what little I have been around them they seemed to be good people. It just seems so strange for them to leave during a time like this.”
Gideon nodded his head. “I agree with you on all counts, Anthony, but we haven’t heard from them at all. If Dr. Reed has, he isn’t saying.”
Gideon grew quiet for a moment, rubbing his face roughly. “We have a situation I need to fill you in on. I’m sure every one of you have sensed the demonic presence?” When they all nodded, he explained about the Berutha demon. As with Shana, none of the guardians standing there, with the exception of Zareck, had ever heard of that particular demon or its special set of rules.
