by Mary May
“Why He did what? The Almighty did and does a lot of things, so I’m going to need you to narrow the field just a little.”
After a few moments he answered, “Why would He die for me?”
The one thing that struck Hattie in Nate’s softly spoken question was that he made it personal. He didn’t say us, or mankind, or man. He said for me. So she knew that the Lord was pulling him in. Saying a quick prayer for wisdom, she answered.
“First you need to understand what you mean to Him. God is a big, little word if that makes sense. The word God has a tendency to make Him sound very powerful but also very distant. Try thinking of Him as your heavenly Father, then ask yourself why He would die for you.”
Nate put his hands on hers, stilling her motions. “But I haven’t accepted Him.”
Hattie smiled as she sat down on the bed.
“Oh, Nate, that doesn’t matter. The Lord accepted you when He created you. You are already his; He wants to become yours. Every human ever born belongs to God and with God. What He is waiting for is for us to accept Him. He gives us the choice to love Him.”
He looked at her. “Why? Why give us that choice? Why send us down here to live this life to go through the pain of being human then wait for us to choose Him? Why not just keep us in heaven to begin with?”
He watched the woman that had become more than just his nurse. She closed her eyes and he thought she might have been praying; finally she smiled.
“Nate, do you remember the phrase, ‘If you love someone set them free. If they return to you, then they’re yours’? That’s basically what God did. He created you then He set you free to choose. He wants us to come back to Him because we choose to, not because we weren’t given any other choice. Time and again as we walk this earth He will show His love for us. Some people see it right away, others take a little more time, and unfortunately some never do.”
Nate nodded his head at her words. “And some see it and turn from it…like I did.”
“Is that what you did? Can I ask why?” Nodding, he told her about Ellie.
“My sister was three years old and the absolute joy of our lives. Full of life and promise and then cancer killed her in less than a year. My parents nearly died in their grief and in a way a part of them was buried with her. I hated God for taking Ellie and putting my parents…putting me, through that. What was the point?”
Hattie took his hand. “Oh, Nate, I’m so sorry to hear that. If you’re asking me why bad things happen, I can only give you my opinion. Is that alright?”
He nodded once more.
“First thing is to understand that this world isn’t what God intended it to be. The Garden of Eden and His perfect world were defiled by sin. Before that, there wasn’t any sickness or death, but Satan entered in and destroyed it. So, now there is death and disease and all manner of unpleasant and hurtful things. Before you ask me if God knew that would happen, the answer is yes. Now I don’t know why He allowed it to happen. Some things I just don’t have an answer for, but I know that the Bible tells us that all will be explained when we get to heaven, so I just have to trust God to carry that answer until then. In the meantime, I go on what I do know. That He promised He would walk with us through every valley. He didn’t say we wouldn’t have hard times or bad things happen to us, but He would stay with us and see us through. He would be our shelter through the storms of life and a shoulder to cry on in our grief. He would bring peace to our hurting souls if only we ask Him.” She stopped for a moment, looking intently into Nate’s eyes.
“Nate, I know losing your sister is a tragic and senseless loss. If God himself tried to give you an answer for it, you wouldn’t find it acceptable. In things like that, there are no acceptable answers.”
He looked at her with pain and anger in his eyes. “But we did everything right! We prayed and took her to church to be baptized and believed He would heal her. She wasn’t supposed to die!”
Hattie drew a now-sobbing Nate into her arms, rocking him gently as she stroked his head. “No, love, that certainly wasn’t what we would ever want, but I can promise you this. Ellie isn’t sick anymore. She is healthy and strong and beautiful, growing up in heaven’s front yard with the other wee ones that were called home too soon. All this pain and bitterness that you’re feeling can be healed. You don’t have to carry it any longer if you don’t want to.”
Nate looked up at her…years of pain and sorrow etched into his face. “Please…please, Hattie, show me how…I don’t know…How do I…I’m so tired of hurting,” he finally stammered out.
Hattie cupped his face in her hands. “Nate, it’s so simple…just give it all to Jesus. All the anger and pain, all the hurt and rage, just let Him have it. Ask Him to take it away and give you the peace that you need. Ask Him into your heart, Nate. He will take it all away.”
Mac and Shana watched as a broken man prayed to a God that he didn’t used to believe in. Laying all of his pain on the altar of his soul, he asked Jesus to come into his heart. Moments later they witnessed the miracle of salvation. While his wounds and scars didn’t magically disappear and his right leg didn’t regenerate, what they saw when he looked up at Hattie with a huge smile and shining eyes was a restored heart and renewed soul.
Charlie looked out of her living room window in astonishment at the sheer volume of snow that was rapidly piling up on the ground. Sabrina was next to her with the same look of disbelief on her face.
“I guess Mr. Hicks was right, but I sure can’t hardly believe it! We didn’t get this much snow all winter long! It’s like a blizzard! I hope you don’t plan on driving over to take care of the horses at Mr. Hicks’ today. Surely he can take care of them this one time.”
Charlie glanced over at her mother. “Mr. Hicks isn’t there, Mama. He went to stay in town with his sister in case the electricity went out. I have to go take care of them. But don’t worry -- Mac-daddy is a four-wheel drive. He can get me there and back, no problem. It’s less than five miles, and I will drag one of the twin terrors with me, if that makes you feel any better.”
Sabrina glanced over at the clock. “Why don’t you go ahead and go now. I would feel better if your dad was here, but he is still in town himself at a meeting that could last for several more hours yet. Do you want me to come with you?”
Charlie shook her head as she was putting on her heavy coat. “No, someone needs to stay here in case the electricity goes out to keep the fire going in the fireplace. I don’t want whichever twin doesn’t go left alone, and we all can’t fit in the truck. So, this is the only plan that makes sense. I will bring my cell phone and call if we run into any problems.”
Two hours later Charlie and Luke trudged to the barn at Mr. Hicks’. Struggling to pull open the massive doors piled high with snow and against the driving wind, once inside she looked at Luke with a grin.
“Fun stuff, huh? Aren’t you glad you volunteered?”
Luke shook his head as he took off his toboggan, shaking the snow from it. “I don’t recall it exactly that way. I believe I was drafted.”
Charlie laughed as she walked down the aisle of the barn. While warmer in here out of the howling wind, it was still pretty darn cold, so she was anxious to be done and get back home. Hopefully the horses would all eat on their own today. Opening the first stall, she saw that the hay manger was empty.
“Good boy! You ate all your dinner last night!” She patted the gray gelding on his neck. He whickered softly at her, shoving his nose into her chest. “I know, handsome boy. You are still hungry. I’m going to get you all taken care of.”
Luke was standing by the stall door with a wheel burrow full of hay and grain. “Handsome? That horse is a far cry from…”
Charlie turned and slapped his arm. “Shhhh… he will hear you! You tell him he is handsome and he will start to believe it.”
Luke looked at her skeptically. “Ok…if you say so. Here, Fabio, have some hay.”
Charlie snorted. “It’s funny you shoul
d call him that because I have always thought that the real Fabio had a horsey face!” They took care of several horses quickly, making sure they were all fed and as comfortable as they could make them. When Charlie opened the next stall, her heart sank! The mare that she had been hand feeding had died during the night. She quickly walked over and checked to be sure, but she was gone. Sinking to her knees, Charlie stroked the matted mane that she had yet to get untangled.
“I’m sorry…I’m so so sorry, sweet girl. You didn’t deserve this…”
Luke dropped down next to her, hugging her close. “I’m sorry, Char-Char… You tried.”
Charlie shook her head as tears fell from her eyes. “I should have tried harder. Called the vet to have her tube fed or something. But she was eating so I thought she would be ok in time. I wanted to give her a better life! To show her that not all humans are mean and heartless! It’s not fair; her life was just getting good.”
Luke shook her until she looked up at him. “You couldn’t give her a longer life, Charlie, but maybe that wasn’t your job with this old girl.”
She looked at him. “Then what? What was I supposed to do to help her?”
He smiled at her softly. “You gave her a better death. Imagine if she was still where she was. She would have died in the freezing snow starving and unloved, unnoticed. Look where she is now, in a warm stall with a full belly and someone mourning her passing. Sometimes that’s the best gift we can give someone, and I bet the old girl understood that not all humans were like her last ones.”
Charlie wiped her face with her gloved hands. “Wow… that was really beautiful. I never thought about it that way. I still wish I could have given her a longer, improved life, but like you said she died in peace and comfort, so I guess that’s something.”
He helped her to her feet after she gave the horse one final pat. “Please don’t tell D.J. I said something so sappy. He will give me crap about it forever.”
Charlie laughed through her sniffles. “I promise, and for the record it wasn’t sappy. It was perfect and beautiful and exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.” She rose up on her tiptoes and kissed her brother’s cheek. She then went and got a horse blanket to cover the horse’s body. Kissing her fingertips, she placed her hand on the covered face and closed the stall door.
Gideon and Raphael watched as they hurried to take care of the rest of the horses. Fortunately, they didn’t find any more unpleasant surprises. The other horses seemed to be eating, and after doctoring a few sores, they were all settled in.
“I wish they would hurry up and leave. That snow is coming down like crazy out there,” Raphael commented.
Gideon looked out the window and nodded. “I agree. I think they are about done.” Much to their guardians’ relief, they were soon putting on their hats and heavy overcoats to go back home.
“I’m glad we decided to leave some extra hay for them. Just in case we can’t make it out here tomorrow. They will be ok without the grain, but they need the hay to keep their bellies full and warm.”
Luke agreed as he pushed against the barn door. “I, for one, hope we wake up to normal weather in the morning. This snow storm is freaking me out.”
Charlie grinned a malicious little smile as she patted up a snowball in her hand. “What’s the matter, Lukey? Scared of a little snow?” she teased as she tossed the snowball, hitting her brother in his left ear.
“Oh! Not funny! You asked for it!” With retaliation in mind he quickly formed his own snowball as Charlie squealed and ran for the truck. She didn’t make it. The snowball nailed her high in the left shoulder, sending icy pellets down her neck. The fight was on and snowballs flew as they declared war on each other. Finally Charlie cried uncle.
“Ok! I give! You’re the snowball king! Mercy, your highness!”
Luke grinned as he dropped his arsenal of already-made snowballs. “Snowball king is right! Don’t you ever forget it!” They climbed in the truck, shivering.
“Oh…my…gos….gosh…I’m…freeeeezing!” Charlie chattered as she twisted the ignition. Click…click…click.
Luke looked at her in alarm when the truck wouldn’t start.
“What’s wrong with it? Why isn’t it starting? Does it have gas?”
Charlie frowned at him. “Of course, it has gas! It acts like the battery is dead. Maybe it’s a loose battery cable -- let me check it.” Pulling the lever that popped the hood, she climbed up on the brush guard to wiggle the battery cables. The wind was blowing harder than it was earlier and the temperature was definitely dropping.
“Try it now, Luke!” she called out. The truck made the same sickening clicking noise. She tried it again and again and again, but every time it made the clicking noise. “Oh, come on!” She got down, slamming the hood in frustration. She was really freezing after their little impromptu snowball war and she knew Luke was, too. Climbing back up in the truck, she smacked the steering wheel.
“Thanks a lot, Mac-daddy! Fine time to pull this little stunt!”
Luke stared at her with a raised eyebrow. “So, do you and Mac-daddy talk all the time or what?”
Charlie placed her head on the steering wheel. “Yes. Now what are we going to do?”
Luke shrugged. “Go back in the barn, I guess. Someone will come looking for us sooner or later. Did you try calling mom?”
Charlie whooped with glee. “I forgot I had it with me!” Pulling out her cell phone, she dialed her mom’s number then waited and waited and waited.
No signal found-the phone’s displayed said. She looked over at her brother. “Well, more good news. I guess this freak snowstorm has blocked the signal.”
Luke grabbed the phone and opened the door of the truck, letting in a blast of frigid air.
“What are you doing?” Charlie asked when he climbed into the back.
“Maybe it will help if the phone is outside and higher!” he called out. After a few minutes he came back inside. “No luck.” Handing her the cell phone, he blew on his hands to warm them. “Well, now what?” he asked.
Charlie sat staring straight ahead at the driving snow that was quickly covering her view out of the windshield.
“Devon will come get us when he gets home. Mama will know something happened for us to be gone so long. So, I think we should go back in the barn and snuggle in the hay. There are a couple more horse blankets that we can use to cover up.”
Ten minutes later they were snuggled together in the hay with every horse blanket they could find covering them.
“You know, being trapped in a barn during a blinding snowstorm with a beautiful blonde is every teenage boy’s dream. Thanks for spoiling it by being my sister,” Luke muttered.
Charlie snorted with laughter, slapping hard at his shoulder. “You’re not my dream date either, twin terror, so there!” Then she looked back over at him.
“Do you really think I’m beautiful?”
He looked her over with a critical eye. He opened his mouth to say something sarcastic but then just shrugged. “Yeah, Charlie, you kinda are. Every guy at school above the age of twelve has a crush on you.”
She looked at him with genuine surprise. “You’re kidding?”
He shook his head, sighing. “Nope. But a lot of good it did them. You only had eyes for Nate Jackson.”
Now it was Charlie’s turn to sigh. “A lot of good that did me.”
Luke rolled over to his side so he could see her. “But you’re ok, right? You love Logan.”
Charlie nodded. “I do love Logan. He is a great guy. He is sweet and charming, easy on the eyes and he loves the Lord.”
Luke watched her closely. “Then what is the problem?” he asked.
Rolling her head to the right, she looked at him. “There is no problem.”
Luke flopped back over onto his back. “Ok, if you say so.”
Charlie sighed once more. “Leave it alone, Lukey.”
He chuckled, “I am.”
An hour later--“What time is it now?
”
Charlie groaned as she handed her brother the cell phone with a rapidly dying battery. “Here, it’s ten minutes later than the last time you asked. I really thought you had outgrown that annoying stage. Why do you need to know the time for anyway?”
“I want to see if it’s supper time.”
Charlie rolled her eyes. “Why? It’s not like we are there and can eat it.”
Luke handed her the phone back. “What do you suppose mama is cooking? Pork chops and mashed potatoes with gravy? Maybe a big pot of stew with cornbread.”
They both looked at each other.
“Cleo’s Cajun boil!” They said at the same time.
“Oh, my gosh, shut up. I’m starving!” Charlie groaned.
The angels sitting in the rafters above them smiled at the two siblings. “I hope that Devon comes pretty soon. It will only get colder when night falls,” Raphael said quietly.
“I think they will be warm enough to survive the night under all the hay and blankets. But they may not be real comfortable.” Gideon grinned at Raphael. “I think it will be their empty bellies that cause them the most pain!”
They grew quiet for a while, each lost in their own thoughts, before Charlie asked Luke what he wanted to do with his life.
“I want to go into the ministry,” he answered without hesitation.
Charlie couldn’t say she was surprised by his choice. What did surprise her was that he heard the call so young. “I think you would be wonderful. Any area in particular?”
He nodded. “Missionary. I want to go to third world countries and help people.”
That brought Charlie up out of her warm cocoon.
“That’s pretty serious, Luke, not to mention dangerous. Couldn’t you stay here in the states and help people?”
“Sis, there is just something about Mark 16:15 where Jesus tells us to go out into all the world and spread the gospel. It burns in my soul like I have to do something in order to put it out.”
Charlie stared at her little brother, seeing the sincerity in his blue eyes. “If you feel that strongly about it, then that’s what you should do, Lukey.”
