The Plain White Room
Page 13
Everything he had spent the last few years learning about, it relaxed him.
His eyes drooped, as he leant back, slipping into sleep.
***
A faint cough echoed through the silent room interrupting Lepus’s thoughts. Tony stood awkwardly in the doorway. Unable to step any further without crushing any papers.
“Oh I’m so sorry,” Lepus exclaimed.
Gathering up as many of the papers as he could.
“That’s, that’s fine,” Tony said skirting past to get to the drawer next to his bed. Lepus shoved all of the papers into his exercise book.
Tony took something out of his draw which Lepus couldn’t see and placed it in his pocket. Tony sat on his bed and looked down at Lepus still sitting on the floor.
He absent-mindedly looked at the whiteboard on the wall opposite Lepus’s bed.
“During the night, I am kept awake by the chatter of my disquiet self. It speaks softly of old hurts and fondly of past love but in a hundred voices that together make the sound of an army.
Anxieties resound throughout me in multitudes. I could be calm and composed all day long but my mind marches the same each night.” Tony said, still staring into space. Then without a word he stood up to walk out.
“I know,” Lepus’s said, the words leaving his mouth without him thinking. As if it was an automated response. Once they were out, they felt like they floated off their own accord in the air.
Surprised by the words even though he had been the one to speak.
Tony turned his head and looked back at him.
“It’s okay,” Lepus said, his mind catching up with his words. Tony nodded briefly then walked out. Lepus stood up; his legs had pins and needles He shook them off and sat down on his bed.
***
Under the Old Oak Tree
Lepus’s hacked his hoe into the ground with great force, his mind a thousand miles away.
Knowing this was Alice's last day in their little village of Miror Terra. Before she would ascend to begin her student exchange to ‘Real Munde’. He felt his friends next to him disappear, and leaned back and looked around. A little way in the distance he saw Yanna hugging Alice. He watched as a little troop of work friends began to flutter all about her. All saying there most sincere goodbyes. Best wishes, and how jealous they were, but how much they would miss her.
Lepus put down his hoe, and as the crowd began to disperse he scurried over.
“All packed little lady?” he beamed.
“Eh,” she chuckled “No… but I’m going to go straight home and finish. It's so hard trying to fit everything you’ll need for a year into a suitcase. Harder deciding what you need, and what it is you want!”
Her face eased from excitement, into sadness, as she looked out over the rest of the farm.
Lepus could see the realisation creeping across his face. That she would not be seeing these people, this place, for a long time. Then her gaze loitered back to him.
Tears began to well in her eyes, “Oh, hey, no… hey.” He said placing a hand on her shoulder.
“It will be over faster than you could imagine. Then you’ll be kicking yourself that you gave a thought to missing us, it's only a year. Years will run past in a flash.” He said, trying to be reassuring, “Come on, I’ll walk you to the edge of the field.”
They began to walk back towards her house, as others mingled back to their work. Lepus hadn’t taken his break yet and was sure his boss wouldn’t mind. As they passed trees and sheds. Finally going to the edge of the spinach field. It was where Lepus worked part-time, and Alice on weekends.
Turning to her, he said “okay, well, don’t forget me” he said smiling and nudging her.
She looked up at him, sniffling, her eyes puffing. To be leaving everything she ever knew behind. Everyone she relied on, a huge. A long adventure with no way of changing her mind and coming back, halfway through if she changes her mind. If she hated the people, if it was all too foreign and strange.
Lepus opened his arms, and she embraced him in his deep hug. His stomach started to turn and tense.
A year.
A whole year without her. No more cute, curious, smile, like no one else in the world. No more dark, alternative, clothes, with her cute little hippy hats. No more, glowing, growing, wonderful friendship.
No opportunity, to hold her hand, or kiss her cheek, not that he had ever felt the need in the past. Not for a whole year.
Wait a moment, he thought, as she squeezed his chest. Why did he want to hold her hand so much; they were just friends.
As she leaned back in his arms, to catch one last glimpse back up, into his eyes. His arms wrapped around her, tears streaming down her cheeks.
One year, a voice seethed from the back of Lepus’s mind. The voice sounded strange, though.
Almost as if it was a mix of two people talking at once, unanimous voices.
One year you fool.
Kiss her.
Between the thought and the action, there was pure silence. A moment of complete clarity, where the world sunk away and with his eyes closed Lepus felt her lips brush his. It was wonderful, scary but simple and sweet.
Releasing her, he opened his eyes and stared into her stunned face.
Ops…
“You’ll be fine okay? You're stronger, braver, kinder and more clever than anyone else I know. It will be hard at first, but will be so fun that at the end you will not want to ever leave. Just please be safe.” he emphasised the last word so much.
She nodded as a slight coy; grin began to emerge, her shock subsiding. At least, he had found a way to make the tears stop running he thought. As he turned, as red as a beetroot. Walking away, with a quickened pace, back to work, I hope that was shock, not horror, he thought.
***
Six weeks passed without a word. Every day Lepus’s hand trembled with excitement as he rattled around in his letterbox. Usually disappointed. Pulling out bill's, university letters, fliers. Finally, today however, he pulled out a tiny letter. Written on with a big black permanent marker.
Postmarked 'Real Monde'. Lepus almost squealed then looked around to make sure the no one had seen his girlish excitement.
He rushed inside tearing at the sides of the letter. Finally feeling like he has been waiting a century for this letter to arrive He slumped into his desk chair. Placing the letter in front of him, squared in line with his desk. He has been waiting for it since his pen left the page when writing the words “write me back soon!”
To my best buddy Lepus, WELL I don’t know what to write. You’re too good for words. Maybe I should just leave it blank? NAH, I’ll do my best for you! So, what’s up? – Jeez, a great way to start a letter, hm, I’ll start again! To my dear amigo, basically, I think that you’re aFANTASTIC guy! Really! Whether or not you know it, I think you’re amazing. Incredibly friendly and always there for me when I’m upset about stupid things, you should realise how much that means to me because I want to thank you. So it’s like this much (I’m holding out my arms real far), but scaled up times, like 8492613794… Does that make any sense? Especially being here, I guess that you know how easily I can be upset or whatever, but thinking about you always seems to cheer me up.
I’m so glad that we got to become close before I left! I sometimes think, if we hadn’t, like, what if I had left a little earlier? Maybe we would have never got to know each other! So anyways, I hope you enjoyed my silly little letter, and maybe now you could write me one back, which would be so cool! … hint hint. Do it. How do people even finish letters? Catch… I have no idea, well if you can be bothered reading the letter again just skip to this bit because it’s the important part, I love you, you’re my best friend. Sorry for my scaredy cat tiny writing, I can be a bit shy. Please don’t forget about me while I’m away! (Insert cute puppy dog eyes) Speak soon okay!? I’ll find a phony-wony that you can call me on my birthday! Times zones mean it will be like 1am for you though I miss you! Letter hugs and kisses till I
see you again! Xoxo
***
The Erie Pool
“Throw that sword in the pool,” the dragon boomed. Lepus scrambled to the pool and raised the sword above his ear. The humming was now a loud resonating buzz. He looked deep into the pool, and it contorted and bubbled, rising up towards him. The shape of a hand emerged from the pool. The scorpion struggled and hashed under the dragon. Trying to sting with its tail. The dragon’s tail wrapped around the scorpion and held it down. The scorpion claws clamped here and there but did not connect with anything. It screeched and made horrid high pitched noises. Lepus looked back at the pool, but couldn’t bring himself to throw the sword it.
“No,” he said flatly.
“What?” the dragon called, not seeming to have heard.
“No!” Lepus yelled back over the commission, “Why should I? You threw this thing at me; that damn crow didn’t tell me a blasted thing! What on earth is going on? What on earth is going on? Where am I!? Tell me something or give me a good damn reason to throw this thing in a random bubbling pool. I almostdied here over this stupid thing.”
The dragon twisted its long neck and looked at Lepus. Still holding down the scorpion it spoke with a calm, compassionate voice. “Look around Lepus; we did this. The further these things get away the worse it will get. Send us back, end this madness.”
Then the dragon turned its head down to the scorpion and started breathing a thin, long stream of fire onto the scorpion. With this, the scorpion went eerily still. It's high-pitched cries turned to fearful, very human screams.
The screams of great, tortured pain. Lepus said a prayer under his breath. Hoping he was doing the right thing and thrust the sword into the pool. In an instant half of the blade was gone, consumed by the liquid. The rest of the sword was sucked in, pulled from Lepus’s hands.
An explosion emanated from the pool. Pushing Lepus to the edge of the clearing. Objects started flying out of the surrounding brush into the area and were dragged by an invisible force into the pool. All the liquid nearby started to gravitate to up the glass and convergeall around it. The liquid was all black. At first, the objects were small; Lepus recognised the gold cuffs the crow had been wearing leep and disappear into the pool.
The cockroache’s vest other gold trinkets, a few big books, and a top hat. Thebag around Lepus’s shoulder started to tug and then quickly became an unbearable pull. It wrapped around his neck being dragged in.
He started to choke and tried to stop himself being dragged in. As he fought to stay upright and away from the liquid, he saw a man fly out of the brush nearby. As he oved,the man grabbed furiously at anything he passed, twigs as they flew from the brush, the large shards of glass, amdother objects as they flew past. He caught one of the other glass shards embedded in the ground. Lepus then noticed he was wearing a pointed hat and a robe. But he was preoccupied with undoing the bag choking him close to unconsciousness. He undid it just in time. As it was swallowed bythe pool, almost taking Lepus with it he realised that the strangely dressed man was the wizard figure from inside his jar.
The wizard yelled and pleaded. “Please, please help me! Oh god!” his hands were leading from gripping the sharp glass edge. Lepus grabbed for the man, but the wizard lost his grip before he had chance and, instead of grabbing his hands he caught the wizards long white beard. He pulled the wizard towards him as random objects kept flying past. “Don’t let go!” the wizard called. Lepus took hold of wizard’s hands. “I won’t me promise.” He yelled over the gushing as a piano crashed through the brush and smashed into the dragon, breaking into pieces. The dragon was still holding the scorpion down, but they had stopped struggling. The dragon seemed to be whispering in the scorpion’s ear as it lay pinned.
A boat at that point rushed in from above the pool and disappeared in an instant. “No, no” the wizard whimpered as it did. “I can’t go back.”
Lepus pulled the man close, sitting on the ground and held him tight, “It’s not fair” the wizard said, just before a tiny rhino in armour hit Lepus on the side of the head. He blacked out for a moment on the ground as the wizard vanished screaming in terror and anguish. When Lepus came to there were no whirring objects but still the wind sucked things towards towards the pool. The scorpions tail was half in the pool, and the dragon was standing on its hind legs next to a shard. Its claws gripping the ground and its tail wrapped securely around the shard. The scorpion was clawing all the ground, trying to move towards Lepus.
“Throws us a rope me ol’ chum!” he called then laughed.
“Come on, it was just a bit of fun. Just a party, have a boogie, lighten up.”
Lepus walked up to the clamouring creature. The wind pounding against his face.
“This place is a hoot. I might holiday here next year. Oh yes. I’ll see you lots soon. I’ll find a way. I look forward to it, I sure like the cut of your jib.”
“Be seeing you then,” Lepus said, putting his foot on its face and pushing it back. It laughed and vanished. The dragon’s voice travelled with ease over the whirring sound of the wind.
“My apologies for my impetuous, stubborn friend. He’s very young. Much to learn.” it ruffled behind its ears with its free hand and took but a pair of glasses. The dragon delicately placed them on his face. “Might work on his big mouth first, though. “The dragon smiled and let go. It was gobbled up, and the pool was then gone with a flash of light.
Lepus collapsed to the ground. He closed his eyes exhausted. His nose caught a whiff of cinnamon and then an uncomfortable feeling on his face. Opening his eyes, twigs were pushing against his face. “Oh god,” he moaned, pushing them away with his hands. He let constricted and started thrashing to get through, rolling into and opening away from the brush surrounding him. Looking around he was in his back yard, covered in dirt. Twigs in his hair and half his size. Soon enough he was normal size again. He looked around, and no one was to be seen.
The moon was big and bright overhead. It must have been three or four in the morning. He ran to his front door. His shoes filled with mud, making squishing sounds. He snuck into his house and up to his room quietly. Stripping his filthy tattered clothes and crawling into bed. He fell asleep quicker than he ever had before. In the morning, he got quite the earful from his parents. They never did get an explanation from him about where he had been.
***
Chapter 10
Dragon Patting
Lepus sat slumped over his exercise book, sitting in the middle of his exercise book. Sitting in the middle of his plain white room. Papers behind him and to the side of him a circle of him. All laid out so that he could pivot and read at will. He cracked his neck then his knuckles. He stretched his back and sat up straight. Closing his eyes and taking a long steady breath in. He had been in the same position for hours without noticing.
He opened his eyes and relaxed his back. Now that his focus was broken, the image of Alice’s face appeared like the parting of a cloud in his mind’s eye.
The thought of you is always just beneath the surface of my mind. He thought. At least, today, it’s just your beautiful face. Today it’s only a vague pain. Not an agony. Not the prickly feeling in all my veins. Sometimes like today you are faint and small. he thought as her face faded from his thoughts.
Today you are just a whisper in the dark. Tomorrow, though. Perhaps you will be unbearable. Like a freight train rumbling through me. At least, I can rely on that, whatever the case. You will be there.’ He sighed softly and looked back down. Perhaps time to stretch my legs. He sat still for a few moments more. Debating the pros and cons of braving the communal areas of the ward. The voices in his head were his own at first, sounding like him. Go on; you can’t think as effectively without oxygen. Go for a walk.
You’ll get cornered by a patient.
Don’t be silly; you can come back here so quickly if someone bothers you. Slowly the voices sounded different. The more they argued, the clearer their tones. One became the voice of Scorpius. Pushi
ng him to act. To move.
“Do it. Get up you slow, stupid fool.” The voice was hissing and abrasive. The other became deep and slow.
“Do not worry, take your time. Stay if you need to stay.”
Lepus walked to the edge of his room. Standing on the threshold, he looked down the hall. The ward was buzzing with sounds. He followed the noise out into the common room. Most of the patients were playing board games and laughing. Looking outside Lepus realised it was already night time Tony was sitting outside.
“Do you mind if I join you?”
“No please, sit,” he said.
They sat in silence, looking up at the stars. There were no words spoken between them.
Perhaps because there were no words in any language to describe what they were both thinking of. Those burning lights they stared at was the only thing which came close to the words they were searching for. There was one word that occurred to Lepus although he chose not to say, though. Shame. Shame, when he thought about himself compared to Tony. That the universe had torn his love away. That she hadn't left out of choice.
***
A car far in the distance woke Lepus, its brakesskidding then, throated speeding up.
Lepus shuffle backwards, in bed, turning on the light. Lepus sat staring at the graphs on my whiteboard. His eyes dropped, so Lepus switch off the light and lay back down. Lepus stares at a blemish on the roof. He closed his eyes but did not feel sleep come.
As Lepus opened his eyes, he realises the blemish on the ceiling has cracked. Lepus feels a slight rumbling below him like an earthquake. The crack began to grow, and others emerged close to the walls. The entire room groaned.
The roof began to bend and contorted in the middle. Then shook as the bed started to rock back and forth. Lepus gripped the sides with his hands. It was wondrous, exciting, scary and exhilarating all at the same time. The roof was torn off and plaster fell from the walls.