Infinity Is For Losers

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by Will Macmillan Jones


  Control had been as good as their word for once, and a narrow path through this confusion was clear and free. The Speedbird picked up a little speed, and moved out into this galactic highway. I know that it is a cliché to say that ‘the stars were scattered like dust’, but it was so apt that I ran my hand over the forward vidscreen to check. It was, of course, scrupulously clean.

  Picking up speed, the Speedbird accelerated slowly away from the giant space station, and the accumulated traffic closed in behind me. Finally at some distance, I thrust the power lever to the stop, and entered the destination coordinates into the navcomm and then linked in the hyperdrive control. As soon as we reached translation velocity VH, I engaged the hyperdrive and leant back with a sigh. Time for coffee.

  Not only is space stupifyingly big, travelling through hyperspace is stupifyingly dull. Yes, it cuts down the time spent travelling between star systems to something more akin to the time involved in a major shopping expedition by a collection of sportstars’ wives – without the drinking, swearing and general terrorising of the locals that frequently accompanies such an event, of course, - but it still takes a lot of time which the pilot has to spend doing absolutely nothing at all. One of my favourite activities.

  I was happily lying on the bed, stylishly dressed in underwear and socks, when a siren went off. The thing is, the designers of space scout ships are familiar with the general habits of the pilots who fly the craft, and so they have fitted a horrendously loud alarm that goes off when the ship is preparing to leave Hyperspace. In common with most scout pilots, I disable the alarm as soon as possible after lifting ship, and in common with most of the other pilots find that the engineering department has found new and increasingly annoying ways of getting around our efforts.

  Without bothering to put on my flight suit I slouched into the flight deck, turned off the alarm, and slumped into the pilot’s chair. Moments later the Speedbird dropped out of hyperspace into the area of normal space I had chosen for my first destination. It was at the edge of the next star system to that I had last visited, still at the edge of The Merchant Princes’ quadrant. I had a second location preprogrammed into the navcomm, which was just as well since the Speedbird emerged into both normal space and a large formation of Imperial Troop transports.

  These were not the normal, everyday, freighter size ships but the enormous interstellar transports capable of carrying huge numbers of troops. This was not a border raid, but a full scale invasion force driving its way into The Merchant Princes’ quadrant of the galaxy. I had never seen so many ships of that size in one place before.

  For a minute or two I was fully occupied trying to avoid hitting anything, while the proximity alert warnings in my ship went berserk in a determined attempt to leave me permanently deafened. The comms channel also started yelling abuse, insults and demands that I be captured and eviscerated alive by the commanders of the flotilla of transports. Luckily for me, I was right in the centre of their loose formation, so they could not shoot at me without fear of hitting each other.

  I, of course, had no such problems and let the defence pod squirt space mines in all directions and then let loose with the blasters on the Speedbird. Naturally the transports all had defence screens that were more than capable of dealing with the pea shooters on the Speedbird, but non the less the firing seemed to be doing a great job of sowing confusion. Several of the transports swung wildly to avoid the mines and to avoid colliding with me. Instead, they started colliding with each other and the invective arriving over the speakers ramped up a notch or three. As the vidscreens began to light up with explosions I hit the power lever and accelerated away, feverishly working on the navcomm for the next heading.

  Swerving madly between two transports, and leaving a few extra space mines behind me to add to the fun, I sped across the front of the biggest spaceship that I had ever seen. It spat laser blasts at me as I went past, seemingly uncaring if it hit other ships in the Imperial Fleet. I just had time to see the insignia of the Imperium sprayed large across one side before open space beckoned, and I hit the hyperdrive activation control and fled the scene. As space elongated and twisted, the fading image in the rear view vidscreen was of explosion after explosion as the space mines detonated and created mayhem in the Imperial Fleet.

  “Phew!”

  Only after I was safely away did I wonder why I was still alive, and why there had been no screen of smaller ships to protect the giant transports. There must have been a reason for that, but I could not think what it might be. However, I did rather urgently need the toilet, a shower, and a change of clothing. The hyperspace trip provided just enough time for that, and as well fell back into normal space I was sitting at the flight console with a large coffee, ready for anything.

  I had programmed the navcomm to deliver me to a location close to a small cluster of asteroids, and it did so with impeccable efficiency. However, no sooner had I identified my location than the comms channel opened with an incoming message..

  “IFF, repeat, IFF, IFF.”

  IFF meant: Identify yourself, Friend or Foe. The locals were out in force and obviously nervous that I was about to start shooting at them. However, a quick scan showed them to be Merchant Princes’ units, so I replied.

  “Free Union Speedbird Six Sixty-Six, on diplomatic mission. Return IFF.” I, too, wanted to know if they were about to start shooting.

  “Independent Scouting Group Achilles, under contract to The Merchant Princes. State your business, please.”

  I sighed. Mercenaries. But then of course, the Merchant Princes usually hired in their military rather employ them direct, following some arcane economic theory. “Diplomatic mission. I was seeking The Emporium, and ran into some mutually hostile elements.”

  “Copied, Speedbird. Do you have the location?”

  “Of the hostiles of the Emporium?”

  “Well, both. We are out looking for trouble, and would like to know where to find it.”

  Where to avoid it more likely, I wanted to reply. Instead I forwarded the location of the Imperial Fleet.

  “That’s our Excelsior system!” exclaimed the Achilles leader.

  “Was,” I told him. “I ran into the biggest single collection of troop transports I’ve ever seen.”

  “What did you do?”

  This was a little more than professional curiosity. The Achilles Group had one Raptor class StarDestroyer, and eight Mantis class scout ships. I felt envious. The Mantis class was bigger and more modern than the Speedbird I occupied, and easily on a par with the Vipers I was supposed to be recovering for the fleet. The Scout Group wanted to know how I had escaped, in case they needed to do the same.

  “I flew straight through the middle of the formation, spat out some mines and fled.”

  “Nice,” replied the Achilles leader. “We are on alert for any incursions here, but have seen nothing so far. Here are the latest co-ordinates for the Emporium, as you are Diplomatic. Good luck!”

  “Same to you.”

  Thinking that Achilles Group would need all the luck ever manufactured if they ran into that Imperial Fleet, I slipped away from their watchful eyes and rounded the belt of asteroids. The Emporium was actually quite close by – in the same star system, to be exact. That made me wonder where the rest of the Merchant Princes’ starships, in particular their defence ships, were. In fact, that was such an interesting thought that I packaged that, together with the rest of the information I had gleaned so far, added my report of the brief fight with the Imperium, coded it into a single compacted message and sent it back to Star Fleet Base.

  I sailed openly into the star system with all the navigation lights fully turned on. Actually I had the Speedbird lit up like a fairground. It seemed a reasonably fair bet that other defence systems would be watching, and that stealth might be misinterpreted. The comms channel I kept open, sending out a constant repeat of “I come in peace, don’t shoot!” I could see nothing on the vidscreens as I approached the given co-ordin
ates. The proximity alert stayed mercifully silent. Or it did until an area of space nearby suddenly shook itself, turned inside out and revealed that it was really a formation of three StarDestroyers.

  “Speedbird, hold position and await orders!” came over the comms channel.

  “Acknowledged,” I replied automatically and sat back in my seat, amazed. Cloaking! The ships had been cloaked from detection, a device believed lost when the old Klingon Empire collapsed under the Imperium. If I could somehow win the technique for The Free Union, then fame and riches beckoned. And a promotion, and with any luck command of a Star Cruiser! The only barrier to these riches was prising the secret from The Merchant Princes.

  Dreaming of riches beyond my wildest dreams, I cut the power, touched the reverse thrusters, and the Speedbird coasted to a halt. The StarDestroyers arranged themselves carefully around me, and I powered up the defence screens.

  “Speedbird, identify yourself and state your intentions.”

  I didn’t like the aggressive tone of the StarDestroyer captain, but was not in a position to do much about it.

  “Speedbird Six Sixty-Six, inbound from The Free Union on a diplomatic and trade mission to The Emporium CEO.”

  “Speedbird, who has authorised your entry to this system?”

  “I didn’t think I needed to be authorised to visit a trading post,” I told him.

  “This is currently a restricted area. You will need to wait while I request authorisation to let you proceed.”

  “Fine. But please tell the CEO it refers to the matters discussed when I last met him.”

  There was a brief silence. “You have actually met the CEO?”

  “I said that this is a Diplomatic mission, didn’t I? Of course I have met the Emporium CEO, last time together with a senior officer of The Free Union Diplomatic Corps.” That was perhaps pushing Rosto’s very unofficial status, but I have found in the past that officials at all levels tend to be terrified of the officials above them: and those officials terrified of those more senior to them; and so on ad infinitum.

  There was another silence. A much longer one. Then the StarDestroyer captain came back on the air.

  “Speedbird, I have been cleared to allow you to proceed. But only under escort. You will follow the StarDestroyer to your port side, who will lead you to the Emporium. Should you divert from the course set, or show an hostile intentions, the StarDestroyer has been authorised to vaporise your vessel.”

  Well, that seemed clear, if less than friendly. “Have a nice day,” I told the leader of the small flotilla and followed the nearest StarDestroyer as it slipped away, down towards the second planet from the outer edge of the system. The destroyer entered an orbit, and I formatted closely upon him. After the second revolution, the huge shape of The Emporium suddenly appeared over the curve of the planet’s edge. Its sudden appearance surprised me, until I realised that it, too, had somehow been cloaked from detection. The Imperium’s incursion into the quadrant had clearly created a lot of alarm and despondency, and I was concerned what that might mean for my mission.

  “Speedbird, you have clearance to dock. Clearance code is X&Q59*1. Confirm copied.”

  “Docking code copied,” I replied. The StarDestroyer watched me carefully until I had engaged the automated docking sequence, and allowed the huge space station to take control of the Speedbird and pull me towards the selected entry port. I noticed that it was located quite close to the level occupied by the CEO and his staff. Not just his staff: for when the airlock opened and, dressed in my best flight suit, I left the Speedbird I was greeted by the business ends of a large number of highly unpleasant looking weapons. In fairness, on seeing that I was alone and unarmed, the weapons were swiftly ported by the black uniformed security staff.

  Their leader, whose shoulder tabs declared him to hold the rank of major, apologised insincerely. “Please excuse our caution. But as we seem to be in a state of undeclared armed conflict at the moment, certain precautions are necessary. Please follow me.”

  He led off down a thickly carpeted corridor. Immediately, as the escort fell in around me, I realised that I had been disembarked directly at the CEO’s deck. This was either very good news, or very bad news. Discretion is all very well, but in my experience it is a lot easier to disappear someone whose appearance has never been seen in the first place.

  The cavalcade halted at a set of real, genuine, wood laminate doors. The escort leader knocked twice, and then slowly opened the door. He stepped inside, then beckoned me to follow him. I entered a room that I dimly recalled seeing once before: the CEO of the Emporium I recalled seeing quite clearly. He looked up from the papers littering his desk, and gave me a wan smile.

  “Ah, Captain Russell, isn’t it?”

  I thought it might be diplomatic to salute, so I did so. It often pays to be polite the man in charge of the man with a weapon pointed at your back.

  “I do have a very good idea why you are here.” He pointed to a place on the carpet in front of him.

  I marched to the front of the CEO’s desk as indicated, musing as I did so that the desk probably contained some nifty concealed weaponry. Discreetly I checked the carpet for stains. The CEO chuckled.

  “Stop worrying, Captain. I did not allow you here just to shoot you. I could have had the mercenaries do that at the rim of the system far more easily.”

  “Never crossed my mind, Sir!” I lied innocently.

  “Of course. Now, you’ll have to excuse me for being brusque, but I’m a bit busy what with this invasion and everything.”

  “Sir, I’m sure that The Free Union will be right beside you in this unwarranted excursion into your borders by the Imperium.”

  “Captain, if you are going to be involved in both Diplomacy and Trade in the future, I would suggest that you take lessons in lying more convincingly than that.”

  I could not think of a suitable reply, so I didn’t speak.

  “Now, to the reason for your visit. I expect that you have been sent to make a discreet enquiry about the whereabouts of the fleet of Viper Class scout ships that The Free Union bought from us. Is that right?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  My hearing is quite good. Bizarrely, one of the medical tests for being licensed to fly a scout starship is excellent hearing. I’ve no idea why, when in space no one can hear you scream. However, my excellent hearing picked up the small click behind my right ear as the escort leader removed the safety catch on his weapon.

  “Major, there is no need for that.” The CEO magnaminously waved at the escort leader to remove the muzzle of his weapon from below my right ear. “Captain Russell is quite within his rights under the contract to make a genuine enquiry such as this when we have been forced to delay delivery of prepaid items.”

  “Yes, sir,” replied the major. He failed to remove the weapon though.

  “Sir,” I began.

  The CEO waved me to silence. “Captain, we at the Emporium have no intention of failing to deliver upon the contract. You will get the ships.”

  “Sir.”

  “However, there will be a short delay.”

  “Sir, we need those ships now to help protect our border.”

  “I’m sure that you do, Captain. However, it will not have escaped your notice that Imperial forces are openly inside our borders, hence the relocation of this facility. There has been a temporary suspension of Trade as a result of Force Majure, per Term 61 Clause 18 subsection 1V. I assume that you are familiar with the contract.”

  “Errr.”

  “Anyway. Captain, we will make arrangements for the ships to be delivered into your care and control. However, you cannot fly twelve ships plus your own back to your Star Fleet Base, so you will either have to bring a ship full of pilots through what is presently a combat zone or accept our assistance with the delivery. Which we will provide free of charge, provided that you are willing to give us a quid pro quo.”

  I started to pull my wallet out of pocket.

 
“Not that sort of a quid! Captain, your loose change is irrelevant here. No, I want you to render us some assistance in a small matter.”

  The weapon ground into the back of my neck.

  “I’m sure that won’t be an issue, sir.”

  “I’m glad to hear it.”

  “What do you want me to do, Sir?”

  “Well, there’s a couple of things. But first, we would like you to visit Calliope and report on the state of affairs there.”

  “Where’s that?”

  “It’s the next planet in from Cornopia.”

  “Hang on, that’s now under Imperium control, Sir.”

  “That’s debateable, Captain. Their forces may be there at present, but legally that system is our territory. The defined border with the Imperium lies well beyond that system. You are a neutral in this conflict, and should have no problem in landing openly and then if the Imperium has invaded Calliope, contacting the resistance movement and assure them that we are taking steps to recover our authority and encourage them to continue fighting.”

  “Sir, if I’m caught in Imperium held territory, I’ll be killed!” I objected. “Or worse,” I added as an afterthought.

  “Well then, Captain, I’d advise using some discretion.” The CEO nodded to the major behind me who pushed the business end of his weapon so hard into my neck that my head bent over at a right angle.

  “Do we have an agreement?”

  “Sir, yes sir!” I agreed.

  “Excellent. Sign here.” The CEO pushed three pieces of paper across his desk to me.

  “What are they?” I asked suspiciously.

  “An agreement to vary the contract terms to allow for this little side matter to be concluded, and a contract temporarily appointing you to a position within The Merchant Prince’s forces. We have given you the rank of Brigadier-general for the duration of the mission.”

 

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