‘Only this morning,’ she informed him. ‘I’ve never seen shingles before, but the pain was so severe and so strange that I did wonder.’
He nodded. ‘You’re right about the discomfort. But these days we can do something about it, if not remove it completely. There are antiviral medications that if taken very early in the illness will make the recovery period much less agonising.’
‘Will I have to stay off work?’ she asked anxiously.
‘Yes, I think you should. You are likely to feel very tired while taking the antiviral drugs and for a week or two afterwards. There is also a risk that anyone who has not had chickenpox could contract it if they were in direct contact. That could have particular repercussions if they were pregnant. Stay home and take it easy for a while.’
‘I will,’ she said fervently, and departed with a prescription for the antiviral tablets in her hand.
When she’d gone Ethan said to the nurses, ‘It will be interesting to see if any more cases of shingles appear, or if an epidemic of chickenpox is about to descend on us.’
He glanced across at Jenna, who was doing a diabetic blood test on a patient, and said, ‘There won’t be a heart clinic this afternoon, Jenna, so you won’t need to come back after lunch.’
‘Right,’ she said, her eyes widening, and left it at that, but as soon as she was free she went to have a word with him.
‘Is Lucas all right?’ she asked.
‘Yes, he’s fine,’ he assured her, and felt like throttling his friend for letting him in for what was coming next.
‘So why—?’
‘Is there no clinic, were you going to say?’
‘Yes.’
‘Lucas has gone back to the hospital to take up where he left off,’ he said uncomfortably, and unwittingly added to her dismay. ‘I think he feels that there is nothing further for him here and he’s probably right. A village practice isn’t the place for a surgeon of his repute. His skills and expertise will be put to much better use in a large hospital.’
‘Yes, of course,’ she said slowly, as if her thinking processes had run out of steam. ‘Thanks for explaining, Ethan.’
‘So are you all right with that?’ he asked gently.
‘Yes, I’m fine. He’s made the right decision. I wish him well.’
‘He’ll be back here in Bluebell Cove tonight,’ he reminded her. ‘He hasn’t gone to the moon.’
‘No, of course not,’ she said in the same stilted kind of voice, and went back to her duties.
For the rest of the morning she presented a calm exterior that gave no inkling of the confusion beneath, but when it was lunchtime she couldn’t wait to get away to sort out her thoughts.
Lucas going back to Hunters Hill without telling her was another instance of him keeping her on the sidelines of his life, she thought miserably. It had been her suggestion that he go back to his own domain and he’d snapped at her, why, she still wasn’t sure, but he had, and then, lo and behold, without so much as a word he’d done what she’d suggested.
It had been clear from the way Ethan had answered her questions that he felt sorry for her and the thought of being an object of pity was bringing a flush to her cheeks.
Loving Lucas was just too complicated, she thought miserably. The next time they met she was going to tell him he could stop worrying, she’d given up on him, much though it would break her heart to do it.
He’d been welcomed back to Hunters Hill Hospital with smiles all round by the staff of the coronary unit. They’d even produced champagne to celebrate the occasion and Lucas knew he ought to be content. He was up to a point, but he wished that Jenna was there. It was she who had inspired him to come back and he hoped that when he next saw her she would be happy for him.
He’d got out of the habit of working late while he’d been part of The Tides practice, but it was nine o’clock when he arrived home that evening. The first thing he did was phone the house on the headland, only to be told by Keith that Jenna wasn’t there and she hadn’t left any message for him.
She was where he’d thought she would be, a solitary figure on the beach, visible only by the light of an autumn moon, and he knew instinctively that he’d made a mess of things just when he wanted everything to be all right.
He called her name as he walked across the wet sand, not wanting to startle her, and she turned slowly.
‘It was my first day back and I had a late finish,’ he said softly. ‘I take it that Ethan explained?’
‘Oh, yes, he explained,’ she said flatly. ‘Explained that you’d left the practice and gone back to where you belong.’
‘Hey! Just a moment!’ he protested. ’I’ve done what you wanted me to do. Aren’t you pleased?’
‘Of course I am! How could I not be? But Ethan having to tell me did rather take the edge off it, even though I accepted that it was just further proof that you only want me on the edge of your life, and you can have that. Lucas, from now on I’ll stay where you want me to stay, at a distance.’
As he stepped forward to take her in his arms and explain what his motives had been she said, ‘Don’t touch me!’ And without a backward glance she pointed herself in the direction of the twinkling lights of the house she called home, leaving him to gaze bleakly out to sea.
As October bowed out and November took over, the chill of winter descended on Bluebell Cove. The first fall of snow came crisp and early on a very cold day, but Jenna hardly noticed it. Her heart had been wrapped around with ice ever since that night on the beach.
She knew deep down that she’d made too big a thing about Lucas not telling her he was going back to work in the hospital, but it had just been one occasion too many of him keeping her on hold, and it had been too much.
What was it with him? she asked herself a thousand times. Was it still a case of once bitten twice shy after his experience with Philippa? Surely not. By nature he was cool and confident, not usually easily rattled, so it must be something about herself that still made him wary of any kind of commitment.
He probably had her catalogued as too eager, too anxious to have his ring on her finger, when in truth all she wanted from him was tenderness, and there was no sign of that. Since those last moments on the beach they’d only seen each other rarely.
When they had he’d been polite but distant and she’d tried to console herself with the thought that it was less painful that way, then had gone home and wept.
He worked late most nights and she would sit hunched on the window seat in her bedroom, watching for the Mercedes coming along the coast road, wishing that she had the right to be waiting for him with a glowing log fire and a nourishing meal, instead of having to make do with caring about him from a distance.
On the evening of the day that the snow had been floating down in white perfection, instead of keeping her vigil on the bedroom window seat, Jenna was about to make her way home from the community centre where the children from the village school, who prided themselves on their brass band, had been giving a concert.
As she began to walk through the village it was a magical sight with the lights from the windows of the houses shining out across the snow, until she came to The Old Chart House standing dark and forlorn because its owner wasn’t yet home from the day’s toil, and she thought that the red sports car didn’t look much happier standing unloved and unused on the drive beneath a covering of snow.
On impulse she went next door to Ethan’s house and when he saw her standing on the step he exclaimed, ‘Jenna! What’s wrong? It isn’t often you come knocking on my door.’
‘Yes, I know,’ she agreed quickly, ‘but I’ve just noticed that Lucas isn’t home yet.’
‘That isn’t surprising. Operating theatres are known to be busy places. There isn’t much we can do about that, I’m afraid.’
‘Do you have a key?’
‘Er, yes, but why?’
‘I thought I’d go in, put some lights on and get the fire going so that it doesn’t look so cheerl
ess when he arrives.’
‘The central heating will be on,’ he pointed out.
‘Yes, I know, but there’s nothing cheerful about a radiator, is there?’
‘No, I suppose not. You can have the key, no trouble. Lucas is short of some tender loving care.’ He gave a wry smile. ‘Aren’t we all?’
He turned towards the hall table and, picking up the key lying there, said, ‘Here, take it, and if you have time to put some food in the oven I’m sure it would be appreciated as he never seems to have time to eat these days.’
When he’d closed the door and gone back to ironing his shirts, he was smiling. If he wasn’t able to sort out his own affairs of the heart, at least he could put in a good word for his friend.
Once inside Jenna moved with speed. Within seconds the lights were on, the fire glowing, and a ‘cook from frozen’ meat dish was in the oven. On the point of making a quick departure and dropping the key through Ethan’s letter box, she heard his car pull up outside and groaned. She’d been quick, but not quick enough.
He was in like a flash, at the worst expecting a breakin. When he found her standing motionless in the kitchen he exclaimed, ‘Jenna! What are you doing here?’
‘I was passing, saw the house was in darkness and thought it would seem rather cheerless when you got in, so I borrowed your key from Ethan and came in to switch on the lights and create a more welcoming atmosphere. The snow is very early this year and, beautiful as it is, it brings a chill with it.’
She was gabbling and knew it. He hadn’t been able to get a word in edgeways since his amazed greeting when he’d found her there, and she hadn’t finished yet. ‘I took the liberty of looking in the freezer and found a ready meal, which is in the oven and shouldn’t be long.’
He made no comment about that, just nodded and said, ‘What are you doing up here in the village without transport? Is your bicycle still not usable?’
‘No, it’s fine, but I didn’t come out on it tonight as there is snow around. I’ve been to a brass band concert at the community centre given by the village schoolchildren.’
‘Really,’ he said absently.
‘Yes, really, and now I’m going as I’m sure you must be ready to unwind in front of the fire.’
‘There’s no need to rush off if you don’t have to,’ he said quickly. He could have told her that he’d already eaten, but that would take the edge off her thoughtfulness, and if she was still here when the food was cooked, he would force it down if it choked him.
She was standing irresolute, wanting to stay so much she could taste it, but aware that she’d intruded into his life again. Her being there hadn’t been at his request so there was nothing to get all dreamy about.
‘How are you?’ he asked, breaking into her thoughts. ‘Are you happy, Jenna?’
‘I’m all right, I suppose. What about you?’
‘I’m the same. I’ve settled back into the old routine better than I expected. It’s very busy, which is why I’m working such long hours, but it gets the days over as well as helping to keep people healthy. Ethan keeps me informed about the practice. He says that Leo has fitted in a treat, and that Lucy keeps promising to retire.’
‘And what does he say about me?’
That your light has gone out would be the truth, he thought, but he couldn’t tell her that. The words would stick in his throat, knowing that he was to blame, so he said, ‘Only good things, Jenna.’ He made a swift change of subject. ‘When the food is cooked I’ll either walk you home or take you in the car, whichever you prefer.’
‘Yes, but you must eat first,’ she insisted.
‘All right, but I won’t sleep easy unless I know you’re safe and that you’ve not done any detours in the direction of sand and sea.’
He hadn’t slept easily any night since those awful moments on the beach that had ended in her telling him not to touch her. It had been that which had made him decide to let Jenna get on with her life without him in it, and it had taken every ounce of willpower he possessed to stick to that decision. But now here she was, caught in the act of trying to look after him, and all his resolves were crumbling.
The table was set and she was taking the food out of the oven. When she’d put it in front of him she went into the sitting room and kept out of sight until he’d finished eating, but the moment he went into the kitchen with the empty plate, grateful that she hadn’t been there to witness the effort he’d made to get the food down, she was there, ready to set off home.
But not in the car, it would seem, as she was saying, ‘Thanks for the offer to see me home, but I’d like to walk if you don’t mind. The snow is clean and crisp, having only recently fallen, and I love to walk on it when it’s like that.’
She’d come up with a reason not to be in the car with him on the spur of the moment because they would be in too close proximity. The sight of his hands on the steering-wheel with those supple surgeon’s fingers, the dark hazel eyes observing her that could make her wilt at a glance and the tantalising male smell of him would have her weak and wanting before she was halfway there, and what would it achieve? Just more pain and misery when he drove off and left her at Four Winds House.
‘OK,’ he said blandly, as if he hadn’t tuned in to why she didn’t want to go home in the car. He wanted her to stay, he wanted to carry her up to his bedroom and make love to her, but he accepted that short of handcuffing her to the furniture there was no way he could keep her there any longer. So it was going to be a walk in the snow and he wondered what Jenna would think if she knew what had been going through his mind.
There was a keen frost outside. The softness of the snow had become icy and when he took her hand in his to prevent her from slipping, Jenna observed him sombrely.
‘I wasn’t intending to be there when you came home,’ she said as if she’d been caught out in a crime. ‘Another few seconds and I would have gone.’
‘And you weren’t going to leave a note?’ he exclaimed in mock dismay. ‘How would I have known who the kind fairy was?’
She was smiling now. ‘You would have known because Ethan would have told you.’
It was his turn to be serious now. ‘What made you do it? We haven’t seen each other for weeks and then out of the blue you appear in my life again.’
‘Yours was the only house in darkness, which meant you were working late. I just wanted to brighten it up for when you came home, that was all.’
It was another half-truth. She had wanted it to look more welcoming but it wasn’t just that. It was because she still loved him so much, wanted to be there to care for him, but she was being denied the opportunity because of a situation that they were equally responsible for.
From his manner it seemed as if Lucas was reasonably pleased to see her but not exactly jumping for joy, and there was no way she wanted to open up old hurts by leaving herself so vulnerable again.
So when they reached the headland she gently disengaged her hand from his and said quickly, ‘Thank you for walking me home, Lucas.’ As he opened his mouth to speak she was gone, moving swiftly up the driveway.
He’d been going to ask her out to dinner to celebrate what might be a new beginning but Jenna had been too quick for him. She’d gone before he could make the suggestion.
As he turned to trudge back the way they’d come there was the determination inside him not to be put off, and if she thought that she’d just slotted him into his place in her life even more firmly than before, she was mistaken.
Finding her rooted to the spot in his kitchen had been like the sun coming from behind a cloud. For a moment it felt like his broken heart had been cured. He should have known better than to expect it to be so simple,
‘Don’t touch me!’ she’d cried all those barren weeks ago. He had yet to find out if she still felt the same way in spite of her solicitude on his behalf.
When Jenna saw Ethan the next morning he said, ‘So how did it go?’
She smiled. ‘As well as could be
expected, to quote an often-used medical description. Did Lucas say anything to you about catching me on the premises?’
‘When he brought the key back he said that it had been a surprise.’
‘That was it! Nothing else?’
‘There was one other thing, but I don’t think you’ll want to hear it.’
‘Nevertheless, tell me what it was,’ she persisted.
‘It was that he’d stopped off for a meal on the way home and had already eaten.’
‘Oh, no!’ she groaned. ‘So he wouldn’t have been hungry?’
‘Not very, I imagine, but in light of your concern for him he wasn’t going to spoil it, was he? So he ate the spaghetti bolognese like a true son of Devon,’ he concluded laughingly, and she couldn’t help but join in.
Maybe she should slip a card advertising the local slimming club under his door, she thought, but deep down she was mortified at the way she’d taken his eating arrangements for granted.
It was no use fretting, though. The incident was over, dead and gone. She’d thought that Lucas might follow her when she’d gone flouncing off into the house the night before, but it had been a vain hope, and now it was just another day at The Tides, starting with Eddie from the post office appearing with a gash in his leg that he should have gone straight to A and E with as there was blood everywhere.
‘I was cutting a stone block with an electric saw and the blade slipped and sliced into my leg,’ he said calmly, and promptly fainted as she tried to stem the blood. Lucy was assisting, an ambulance was already on its way, and the feeling that it was just another day at the surgery was disappearing fast.
Unaware that the heart clinic and the man in charge of it had gone, a patient had been brought to the surgery by his wife with severe pains on one side of his chest, and as he had a history of heart problems they’d thought they were doing the sensible thing by taking a short cut to see a top heart surgeon in Bluebell Cove.
Wedding Bells for the Village Nurse Page 12
