by Vaughn Ashby
“So she was alive, or was she a ghost? Or neither? Or both?”
Travers shrugged, “I don’t know, Shane was the one who was good at this stuff, out of all of us he’d be the one to handle it best. But what he… fuck.”
“You’re not bad at this stuff either, buddy.”
“I’m the data guy, I’m not the I was just talking to my dead wife in the bathtub guy.”
“So what do we do about my brother?”
“I keep forgetting he’s your brother,” Travers finished his coffee and threw the cup towards the nearest trash can. The throw fell short and a couple cops gave him a dirty look. He smirked back at them. “We go find your brother ourselves, I guess.”
“Great, where do we start?”
“I have no idea.”
“Well, this sucks. Kristen is dead, Shane looks pretty fucked up mentally, my brother is missing and we don’t know what to do about any of it. Looks like we’ll never be able to check out Thunder Lake and that monster thing.”
“What?” Travers asked taking his sunglasses off.
Yada yada yada
Pratt screamed in terror as the giant soggy monster towered over him. He froze hoping the monster was like a t-rex and relied on movement to see things. He watched as the beast ran towards him, it’s jello-like body jiggling, black tar running from it’s massive mouth, over its ridiculous amount of teeth. Pratt peed a little, then screamed and covered his own mouth.
Ok, we may have jumped ahead a little but you’ll figure it all out. Anyways.
The monster sniffed around Pratt, since the yell he hadn’t moved. Shane and Travers watched from further ahead in terror. The three had started this little escape right next to each other, but Pratt’s running skills were let’s just say lacking compared to the others.
“What do we do?” Shane said out of breath. He was bent over and panting hard.
“I feel like we should wave some flares or something,” Travers said resting an arm on Shane.
“Do you have some flares?”
“Good point.”
Pratt slowly turned his head to look at them. His face was now half covered in black goo from the monster’s desperate search. He mouthed the words “Help please.” Slowly he turned his head back around to see if his little ruse was still working, it wasn’t.
The monster stepped back, opened its mouth wide, and lunged at Pratt. He ducked and the creature went over him, crashing to the ground.
Shane and Travers looked at each other and shrugged, both saying, “Goldblum” at the same time. Having finally caught their breath they stood tall, and started to wave their hands around in the air, all while yelling mostly catchphrases from TV shows. At one point Shane was sure he heard Travers say something about Urcle, followed by other TGIF insults. Shane, on the other hand, stuck to mostly different versions of frack, and blerg.
The plan worked and got the big things attention, but lacked any kind of follow through. The error of the plan occurred to both Shane and Travers around the same time. Right around the point where the gooey mess of a thing started heading towards them.
For a couple seconds, they both looked at it in awe, brains farting to excess. Then, Travers turned and ran. Shane on the other hand just stood and watched. His wife was probably still a little warm, sitting in the morgue. What the hell was he doing out here? How did they convince him to get out here anyway? They’d gotten past all those cops in the really strange sexual way.
Every step closer revealed more and more black tar-like vomit that came out of the thing's mouth. The thought of being covered in that shit as the monster ate him wasn’t his ideal way to go, but whatever. He didn’t really care. At least his tombstone would be unique. Killed by a goo monster he discovered coming out of a cave near a lake while investigating a car that used to keep reappearing every night so that it’s driver could drive into town and get a trailer hitch from a guy named Moe. There couldn’t be more than maybe dozen people who had that.
Only meters away, Shane realized just how big the thing was, his heart started jumping faster and he had to actively fight against his flight or fight impulses. The massive mess of a thing seemed to be melting in front of him, the excitement of eating Shane was driving it to goo faster.
Goo faster is that even a thing? If not, it is now. Anyways.
Shane closed his eyes and waited. He waited for the pain and the goo. Instead, he heard a car crash into something.
He opened his eyes to see a police cruiser sitting on top of the monster. It’s front end was decimated and the monster was a crumpled mess. Inside where the two cops they’d met at Moe’s Trailers.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
2014 Jason: Who’s Timmy?
The bottom of the well smelled like the men’s bathroom at a football game during halftime on free bean taco night. At least the water wasn’t deep. He hadn’t considered when he discharged his shotgun down here just how deep the water could have been. He’d gotten lucky and he knew it. Well, maybe half lucky, his shotgun had ended up underwater in the descent. Finding it under the water hadn’t been hard, but the amount of liquid that poured out of it made certain it wasn’t going to fire again. He still had his sidearm, so that was something.
He held his phone up like a flashlight, the well was relatively narrow but the sides were stone and slick with moisture. Basically no chance of him climbing out. Plus, he could see some heads poking over the sides looking down at him, so he wasn’t going up anyways.
Flashes of those things jumping down here on top of him filled his mind. Maybe this was a really bad idea. Possibly fatal.
Jason got to his feet and winced. He’d done something to his ankle. While his landing hadn’t been particularly hard because of the short drop, his ankle was prone to sprains and twists. He’d been a volleyball player in college and he basically spent two years tripping over people’s feet. It didn’t take much to set it off. Again, something he hadn’t thought about before jumping. Again, possibly fatal.
He checked his phone for a signal out of habit. Still nothing.
“Well, fuck me, this is just great. Trapped in a god damn well, and I fucked up my god damn ankle. Shit.” He considered for a moment that talking would reassure who or whatever those people were that he was down here, but then he realized he didn’t give a fuck. Sure he had Anna, but he was a shitty father who was never there enough.
He shrugged at the thought that knowing this should make him a better father, but he didn’t know how to be a better father. He figured she’d be better off with Pratt, or Shane. Her guardians if he died. At least he’d recently updated his will, before that she was going to his parents. He shivered at the thought.
“So what do you do when you are trapped in a well and can’t get out because you can’t climb out because of your ankle, and because of those people up there with no faces.” He paused and scratched his head, “I’d like to phone a friend, I’d like to call my friend Timmy.”
“Who’s Timmy?” asked a voice. Jason moved his phone frantically around the well. “I don’t know any Timmy’s,” it was a woman’s voice.
“Who? No, where are you?” Jason said still moving the phone around, hoping nothing was going to jump out at him.
Behind his back he could feel one of the stones pressing against him, he moved to the side and a large rock at least a foot in all directions plopped down into the water. A woman stuck her head out and smiled at him, “Hi!” she said cheerfully, “I’m Jenny.”
Jason stuck his hand out and she shook it.
“So who’s Timmy?” she asked again.
“Who are you?” Jason asked ignoring her question. “What are you doing down here?”
“I said my name was Jenny, and I was looking for you. Just like them.” She pointed up to the heads looking over the side of the well down at the two of them.
Jason rested his hand on his gun trying to be subtle about it. “So you’re one of them?”
“I guess so, but I still have my fea
tures, I don’t really know what we are. I know we’re dead, but aren’t zombies or anything like that. None of us want to eat you.” She laughed to herself. “But you are kind of hot.” She said biting her lip.
“Keep it in your pants lady, what do you…” he paused not sure if he should use the word people or something else, he decided to go with the royal you. “What do you want from me?”
She turned her head sideways confused, “Are you here to set us free?”
“Free from who?”
“From the woman of course, silly. Are you sure you don’t want to make out a little I’m recently single, well recently is a loose term around here.”
Jason shook his head, “no I just made out a bunch this morning, I’m good.”
“Ok,” she sounded like she wasn’t buying it, who would? He looked scruffy and extremely unkissable, just how he liked it.
“So the woman is keeping you here?” Jason asked trying to change the subject. He had no idea who the woman was, he hoped at the same time it was and wasn’t Jessica.
“Yes, she kept us all here, and forces us to do her work.”
“Her work?” Jason asked.
“Yeah, like killing people and stuff,” Jenny said twirling her hair. “Plus we keep the house here for her.”
“Oh, oh ok,” Jason said trying to not sound like this was the first time he’d heard it. “And so if you,” he paused not sure what word to use. “People, go into the light, you turn to blue bugs of some kind. That’s kind of weird, right?”
“Yeah, but you get used to it I guess, but I…” she brushed her hair from her face. Between the darkness and the dirt, it was hard to tell the color. “I just don’t want to be here anymore.”
“Did she send you here to kill me?” Jason asked with his hand firmly on his sidearm now.
“No why would she? You came here with her, didn’t you? The woman with the red hair?”
The woman was Jessica? She was keeping all these people hostage, correction all these dead people hostage? She hadn’t mentioned that part, but its kind of hard to find just the right moment to bring something like that up.
“I don’t know how to get myself out of here, not sure I can help you if I can’t help myself.”
“Oh I know how you can leave,” Jenny sounded excited, maybe a little too peppy for Jason’s liking. “You just have to kill the man plugged into the generator.”
“What would that do?”
“The generator keeps the house moving. So if you unplugged it then it will stop somewhere and you can leave.” She smiled at him. “Its like the teacup ride at Disneyland. You get in your cup and it spins you around. Your cup is constantly changing places. Then finally when it stops it lets you out in a different place. Oh, and when it’s moving you can’t get off.”
“The teacup ride?”
“Yep,” Jenny nodded her head, and smiled. The smile was starting to piss Jason off and he didn’t know why.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
2014 Ashley & Morgan: Keep It Cool
The two cops hopped out of their cruiser and ran to the front of the car. Both seemed to almost be skipping with excitement to see what they’d run over. After a two second, and very thorough examination they high fived and belly bumped each other. This was followed by a series of finger guns, crotch chops, and more high fives.
Pratt slowly made his way to Shane, and Travers. The three watched this amazing celebration in awe, it was almost as if the two police officers had practiced this beforehand. It was hypnotic. Finally, clicking back to reality the three started to slowly move away from them. After only a few steps back the officers noticed them.
“Hold it ladies,” the bearded one said taking off his sunglasses.
“Did you see that! Amazing right!” the mustache cop said following the bearded one.
“Keep it cool Ashley.”
“Sorry, sorry.”
Both cops drew their guns at the same time. If synchronized gun pulling was an Olympic sport these two would be gold medal winners. Pratt put his black goo covered hands up, the other two did not.
“Sorry we have to shoot you dead now, clean up and all,” the bearded one said.
“Then we can go home!” the mustache cop yelled in excitement than they high fived again.
“What! Why?” Pratt asked.
“It’s complicated and I don’t want to go into it now so, just hold still.”
Shane slowly moved in front of the others, he put his arms out to try and get the other two guys behind him. “No, I think you owe us an explanation.”
The mustache cop shook his head, “Oh no, I’ve seen too many Bond movies to know this is the part where you distract us in the hopes of getting away with some elaborate plan.” He pointed his gun at Shane, “I killed your wife you know. Damn it I am a bond villain. Oh, well.” He shrugged.
“You killed his wife you ass,” Travers said ducking out from behind Shane. “Why don’t you shove that…”
The mustache cops gun went off, and for a spilt-second Travers remembered Liz, then he remembered nothing. Shane could hear the bullet rush passed him and then feel the warm blood splatter over him. He turned to see Travers’ face was missing, just like Kristen’s had been. Travers stood there for a couple seconds, his body not sure what to do. Blood poured from the massive hole. Shane looked at Pratt who now was a mix of black goo, and blood. Finally, Travers’ body dropped to the ground, and both men quickly dropped to check him. But just like Kristen, he was dead instantly.
“Next,” the mustache cop said, coming up behind Shane. He pressed his gun to the back of Shane’s head. It was warm from the shot that killed Travers. From this distance based on what the gun did to Travers, Shane’s head would pop like a balloon. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. And waited.
Nothing, he opened his eyes and noticed he couldn’t feel the gun anymore. The two cops had rushed back to their car. Pratt grabbed Shane, and got him to his feet.
Whatever that thing was they’d hit with their car was gone, the goo monster was gone. It did leave a sizable amount of goo behind on the road and car, but it was gone.
The two cops paced back and forth around the car, yelling at each other. Pratt and Shane turned to leave again, this time without their friend when they were stopped by a man who had come up behind them.
“Ladies,” said the man, and he pushed past them. His head was shaved, he was naked and he was carrying a very large looking gun. He pressed the stock into his shoulder, the strap of the gun strung around him. It provided little cover for his mostly hairless body.
“Hey fuckers!” the nude man yelled to the cops.
The eyes of both mustache and bearded cop, or Morgan and Ashley as they called each other lit up. They tried to pull their guns, but the naked man was too quick, he put three bullets in Morgan, and five in Ashley. Both cops fell motionless.
Pratt and Shane watched, why hadn’t that man been there just a couple seconds sooner, maybe Travers would still be alive.
The naked man fired a few more shots into each of them from point-blank range, then turned and started walking back to Pratt and Travers. Black goo ran from the bodies of the two dead cops that weren’t really cops.
The naked man brushed passed them again without stopping, “Are you coming? I think you’ve been looking for my car.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
2014 Jason: He Couldn’t Take His Eyes Off Of Her Amazing Breasts
“I saw him.” Jason said still trying to keep as far away from Jenny as he could, while keeping an eye on what was happening above him. “The guy with the thing coming out of this chest that's connected to the generator, looked mostly dead already. Can we just wait him out?”
“He's kind of looked like that way for a while,” Jenny said her smile never leaving her face.
“Oh ok right that makes sense.” It didn’t but it kind of did for this place.
“You should have seen him when he first came here, he was…” She loo
ked up. “Sorry times up I gotta go.” She started working her way back down the little tunnel she came in through.
“Wait...”
“Sorry no time," she was already a ways back down the tunnel. “Suns coming I have to go; just follow this tunnel you'll be fine. Probably.”
“Probably?” Jason said with a hint of fuck that in his voice.
“Don't forget to kill that guy, oh and it was nice meeting you.”
Out of habit, Jason replied. “Thanks, you too?” But it ended up sounding more like a question.
Jason glanced up to see the heads poking over the side of the well were gone and he could see hints of sunlight. His hand slid from his gun, his palm hurt a little, apparently, he'd been pressing against it pretty hard. A lot more of him was going to be hurting if he climbed through that tunnel. He'd at minimum be looking at a sore back, bruised knees, and scraped hands. All of that didn't sound very fun. He looked down into the hole, any trace of Jenny was long gone. He couldn't make out anything more than a couple feet ahead of him. What if this tunnel didn't lead to the basement of the house? What if it dropped him in some pit with a thousand-year-old monster in it just waiting to devour him? He really didn't want to be slowly digested for years.
He pulled his phone from his pocket. Only 37% left. Should be enough to use as a flashlight for a while. He wasn't that far from the house.
Slowly, he climbed into the tunnel. It smelled like shit. Jason gagged and considered going back the two feet he'd gone, but he pressed on, and breathed through his mouth.
The ground was a lot smoother and wetter then he’d thought it would be, maybe he wouldn’t be in that bad of shape after all. The soft mud cushioned every inch he made, his ankle still ached, but crawling was easier than walking.
The screen on his phone provided an actually not bad flashlight. He’d really wished he’d kept the flashlight app he used to have, it sure would have been better on the battery than keeping the whole screen on high brightness. He checked the battery level, he was down to 24%, it was dropping fast. He lowered the screen brightness and quickened his pace.
