“You didn’t even ask what it cost!”
“Sweetheart, if you have to ask the price then you can’t afford it,” he winked, leaving Ashley to continue admiring her ring while he got up to sort out payment and insurance with the manager.
Ashley stared down at her left hand. It felt so strange to be wearing a ring on her forth finger. She sighed a little sadly, and was forced to confess something deeply troubling to herself – she would have been happier with one of the smaller rings if had meant that their engagement was real.
“You ready to go now, Ash?” Michael asked, reappearing at her side. “I thought we could go out and grab some lunch if you fancy it?”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Ashley asked doubtfully. “Maybe- maybe we should spend some time apart?” she suggested. Michael frowned at her, and Ashley felt a touch guilty. He had just spent a small fortune on her after all… although no doubt he would simply return the ring once their shame engagement was over.
“Do you want to spend some time apart?” he asked slowly. “I mean, is this too much, am I crowding you?” he frowned.
“What? No!” Ashley said quickly. “It’s just-”
“That being endlessly hounded by photographers and reporters isn’t all it’s cracked up to be?” he smiled dryly, finally twigging the problem.
Ashley flushed. “Well, do we really want to give them something else to write about?” she asked doubtfully. “Don’t you want them to focus on your politics? Not your… love life?”
Michael was fighting a frown as he and Ashley stepped outside. He didn’t want one of Ashley’s photographers to catch him coming out of the jewellers looking unhappy, but he couldn’t help but feel that a little black cloud had just settled over his head.
“Ideally yes,” he said, after thinking over Ashley’s question for a couple of minutes. “But I can’t help remembering that the whole reason we find ourselves in this… unusual position… is because Norm decided that my politics and love life couldn’t be separated,” he murmured.
“Well, yes that’s true,” Ashley nodded, dragging her eyes away from her hand so that she could look up into Michael’s face. She flushed guiltily. “I’m afraid I don’t know how helpful I’ve actually been in that respect,” she muttered. “I don’t know if you wouldn’t have been better off simply staying single,” she sighed.
“You sound like you’re regretting ever getting involved with me,” Michael said gently, trying to sound like he was joking, but he was unable to account for the heavy weight that was suddenly hanging around his heart.
Ashley smiled again, and then looked innocently back at her hand. “Well I wouldn’t say that,” she giggled, admiring her ring. “There have been one or two benefits for me.”
“Is that so?” Michael grinned, thinking of the ‘benefits’ that he had enjoyed… “So, lunch or no lunch?” he asked, unwilling to admit to himself how much her answer meant to him.
“Oh, lunch I suppose!” Ashley laughed, not catching Michael’s sigh of relief.
21
Michael spent the rest of the day working to get his politics back at the forefront of everyone’s minds, (as opposed to the fact that an unmarried women was known to have spent the night at his house).
He and Ashley parted company halfway through the afternoon, and she had begged off from having dinner with him that evening. Michael didn’t know why… and it troubled him. She had seemed a little unlike herself ever since they had gone to get her ring at the jewelers… and then after Val had phoned she had made such and effort to appear fine that it was blatantly obviously that she wasn’t fine.
Confounded by it all, Michael ordered himself a pizza for dinner that evening. He had a mountain of reading to get through, so perhaps it was for the best that Ashley hadn’t been able to make it out for dinner? All he knew was that he wanted her with her… but for whatever reason, she didn’t want to be with him.
Everything was just so complicated at the moment! Michael wasn’t even sure if what they had was real- or if Ashley thought that what they was real- and even if they could build something that might last, what about the plans that Norm had set in motion?
“How do you get yourself into these messes, Michael?” he muttered into his pillow, resigning himself to a night of tossing and turning, and very little rest.
Michael couldn’t know it, but that was exactly the same question that Ashley woke up asking herself the following morning. Although, she did lie in bed feeling queasy for an hour before it occurred to her.
“Oh no!” she cried, sitting up in shock, and immediately regretting doing anything so quickly. She clapped a hand over her mouth and breathed deeply through her nose until the worst of the wave of nausea had past. “Oh God, I can’t be,” she moaned, as the notion that had just occurred to her refused to be banished.
She eased her legs out over the side of the bed and reached for her purse. She rooted through the contents until she found her diary, and then she flipped back to the previous month to see when she had last had her period.
Ashley gave a small sigh of relief when she saw that it was less than three weeks ago. Still, that didn’t stop her from fretting. She and Michael hadn’t used any protection during any of their lovemaking… she didn’t know how soon a woman started showing symptoms of… well- pregnancy, but surely it was too soon at the moment?
“It must have been something I ate,” she whispered, as she tried to convince herself of this fact, but did really manage to succeed. She could get herself tested? That would put her mind at ease. Well, unless the result came back positive.
Why had she been so stupid? Ashley could have screamed! She never, ever took these kinds of risks! Why was she such an idiot where Michael was concerned?
Ashley was heartily ashamed of herself. The issue hadn’t even occurred to her until this very moment!
The fact that she was still feeling queasy an hour later, when her chauffeur arrived to drive her to work, made Ashley hope that was she was experiencing wasn’t a bout of morning sickness after all, but a mild case of food poisoning or simply a bug that was going around. She was sure that she had heard that morning sickness came and went more quickly than this… and besides she still wasn’t convinced that it wasn’t too early for her to be presentation symptoms.
None of her rational thoughts helped very much when it came to staying calm however. Ashley was petrified. She couldn’t be pregnant! There were so many reasons why it would be a disaster. It would ruin Michael! Really ruin his chances of ever becoming president. More than that though- they didn’t even have a real relationship, it was all supposed to be pretend! How was Michael going to react if she went to him and told him that she was having his child?
“Can you stop here, please?” Ashley blurted, speaking to her driver. She knew that there was a little pharmacy just at the end of the block, and she couldn’t imagine waiting a second longer before she activity did something to discover her fate.
Ten minutes later, she returned to the car with a pregnancy test hidden away in her bag. She had been super-careful that no one saw her buying it. After all the bad headlines she had had a hand in making, she didn’t need this to blow up in Michael’s face too!
Ashley stomach did a funny little flip flop every time she thought about Michael… she was scared it was because the thought of having his baby wasn’t wholly repulsive. It was just as she had felt when buying the engagement ring. She glanced down at her hand and sighed sadly. If only all of it was real! She was a fool for feeling that way, but she just couldn’t help it.
Seeing Michael at the staff meeting that morning was torture for Ashley, especially with the pregnancy test sitting in her purse like a ticking time bomb. She tried to be as inconspicuous as possible, but Michael’s eyes kept seeking her out and smiling secretively at her.
After the meeting was over, Ashley wanted to run immediately to the bathroom and take the test… but there were one or two things she had to make a start on
and couldn’t put off, not even for five minutes.
Once she started working she got swept along by it. It was lunchtime before she even had a chance to pause and catch her breath. She was just going to nip out and buy something to eat when her telephone started ringing just as there was a knock on her office door.
“Come in!” she called, picking up the phone as she did so.
Michael smiled and mouthed a silent hello when he saw that Ashley was busy taking a call. He walking into her office, intending to wait until she was finished and then see if fancied having lunch with him. He was still slightly hurt by her refusal to dine with him the previous night.
He sat down on a chair in front of Ashley’s desk, accidentally kicking her purse over as he did so. Seeing that she was too busy dealing with the caller to have noticed, Michael bent down to set everything to rights.
Michael picked up Ashley’s wallet and her house keys, and then he reached for a rectangular box that had also tumbled out onto the floor. His hand was on it before he realized what “it” was. Michael froze, literally, for at least ten seconds as he stared in horror at the pregnancy tester kit that he was holding, and then he jammed it back into Ashley’s purse so fast it was as though it was burning his skin.
He sat back in his seat, slowly, as if by moving carefully and guardedly he could concoct an explanation for Ashley possessing a pregnancy test that didn’t end with her being pregnant… Perhaps he had imagined it… or maybe… maybe Ashley had picked it up for a friend…? Anything was possible! Only… it was probably that she was having his baby… that thought sent another jolt shooting through Michael’s body.
His baby…?
Michael had always wanted children, but they had always been something he had promised himself ‘one day’ and in recent years that day had looked like it would never come. He had accepted that.
“Did you want something?” Ashley asked, smiling at him. She had finished her telephone conversation and Michael hadn’t even noticed.
“I-” What did he want? “I… wondered if you felt like having lunch together,” he murmured. Should he confront Ashley with what he had seen or should he wait for her to mention it? He wasn’t sure that he could handle the conversation at the moment. He felt completely knocked for a loop.
“Are you feeling okay?” Ashley frowned, staring at him anxiously. “You look a little pale. You aren’t coming down with something are you?”
Michael shook his head. “I’m fine,” he said automatically. “A bit tired I guess,” he shrugged, when Ashley cocked a disbelieving eyebrow in his direction. She gave her head a sympathetic nod.
“You have to pace yourself, Michael. You don’t want to burn out! Where would the campaign be then?” she asked gently.
Oh God, the campaign!
Michael rubbed a hand over his face. If Ashley was pregnant then his dreams of becoming President were ruined. No one was going to elect a man who had knocked up his girlfriend!
But they might if she was his wife… he had to get the wedding pushed forward!
“Michael? Michael!” Ashley’s worried voice sliced through Michael’s thoughts and dragged him back to the office.
“Sorry,” he apologized, smiling weakly. “Must have zoned out for a minute.”
“Hrm,” Ashley murmured, looking at his closely. “Are you sure you’re not sick?” she demanded. She licked her lips. “I was feeling a little under the weather this morning. Maybe there’s something going around?” she said, sounding almost… hopeful?
“I haven’t heard of anything,” Michael said slowly. He tried to collect himself. “You were feeling unwell this morning?” he asked gently, not sure if he was ready for her to elucidate yet or not.
“Yes, but it passed,” Ashley said curtly. “I think you said something about lunch?” she asked, changing the subject so abruptly that Michael couldn’t fail to notice what she was doing, especially when he knew why she was doing it?
Michael nodded, and somehow he found himself taking Ashley out to lunch. He didn’t remember how they decided where they were going, or even how they got there! He simply found himself sitting opposite Ashley, looking over a lunch menu at his favorite café and wondering if he could actually stomach any of the food if he ordered.
“You really don’t look well, Michael,” Ashley said softly. She was watching him from across the table, and looking troubled and anxious.
Michael contemplated saying something to Ashley about what he suspected. She had to be worried too if she thought that she was pregnant! Evidently she was just doing a better job of hiding it.
“I’m fine,” he muttered quietly, and immediately went back to brooding. Ashley sighed and excused herself to use the bathroom, and so Michael was given a few minutes alone to dwell on his thoughts.
He thoughts were just so overwhelming! Michael had realized something though. Among the horror and the worry,there was a very small, very delicate little bubble of excitement. He imagined that if he nurtured it and allowed it to take hold it would grow until that was his dominant feeling towards Ashley’s pregnancy.
He had always wanted children, and Ashley seemed like the kind of woman who would be an excellent mother. Michael actually managed to summon a smile when he thought about Ashley totting a little baby around on her hip- his baby, something primitive and masculine inside him approved of that image very strongly. Besides, if the voters wanted a First Lady, surely a whole family would be even better?
He would have to marry her, of course. Michael’s smile grew. He couldn’t help himself. There was something that struck him as hugely satisfying about having to marry Miss Kendall. He liked her, a lot, he lusted after her around the clock, and now she was carrying his baby… what other woman would make half such a suitable wife… and First Lady?
Michael wasn’t ready to give up his presidential dreams just yet. He just had to get Ashley down the aisle as soon as possible, before there was any speculation about her condition. Once they were married no one would care about a seven or eight-month pregnancy. They could spin some story about the baby being premature.
“You look a little more cheerful?” Ashley remarked, as she returned to the table. She sat down, watching him curiously.
“I am. I’ve reached a decision,” Michael said cryptically. He leant back in his chair and pressed his fingers together thoughtfully.
“Oh? That’s… good?” Ashley frowned. “A decision about the campaign?” she asked.
“In a way…” Michael nodded, speaking slowly. It was probably better if he didn’t mention anything to Ashley about pushing the wedding forwards just yet; he was bound to phrase it wrong… and maybe then she would refuse? Something that almost felt like panic gripped him.
He couldn’t let her think he was only marrying her because of the baby. Women got so silly about practical reasons like that. He would have to convince her that it was for the good of the campaign to move their wedding forward, and then, once things were under way for their ‘sham’ wedding, it would be easier to convince her that they had to marry. At least, he hoped that was the case!
22
Negative. It was negative.
She wasn’t pregnant.
Ashley sat down on the edge of her bed, stared blankly at the pregnancy test in her hand and tried to summon up the relief that she knew she should be feeling…
“This is good,” she said aloud, as though she was attempting to convince herself. She was upset to realize that this was exactly what she was doing… just what was wrong with her? Ashley looked up and stared in disgust at her reflect in the mirror on the dressing table.
If she had been pregnant it would have been a disaster- there was no two ways about it- wanting to have a baby with a man she didn’t even have a real relationship with was just idiotic.
Not to mention the whole president angle!
Ashley winced when she thought about that. Michael would have killed her if she had been pregnant. At the very least Norm was sure to have
made her kill the baby. Ashley couldn’t stop herself laying a protective hand over her flat stomach, as though this baby was something more than a figment of her imagination.
“I’ve got to be more careful,” she murmured, resolving to make an appointment with her doctor the very next morning. It seemed that Michael wasn’t exactly the careful type so it would be down to her to make sure that there weren’t any more little scares. That was what was for the best after all.
Sighing, Ashley threw away the test and its box. She had been so sure of what she was going to find!
She was hardly past her prime, but still, she didn’t have years to dally if she wanted to raise a little family of her own. Perhaps she had secretly seen Michael as a solution to that problem? Not wittingly of course! Maybe, subconsciously there was something in that theory?
The Perfect Candidate Page 12
