“Ooh, oh okay,” said Ashley uncertainty. She kept her knees pressed tightly together and tried very hard to look composed. “What- um what did you need to discuss with me, Norman?” she asked, trying to some calm and casual, but she was obviously failing.
Norm frowned at her curiously. “Are you quite all right, Miss Kendall?” he asked, staring at her over the top of his glasses. “You don’t seem to be acting like yourself.”
“Oh, no, I’m fine- I’m fine,” Ashley assured him instantly. “Just- you know- feeling a little run down and tired. The campaign takes it out of everyone I’m sure,” she mumbled.
Norman seemed to buy this excuse, because his nodded his head with feeling and smiled at her kindly. “Well, it will all be over soon. Of course, once we know the election result then the real work will start- we hope!” he chuckled.
Ashley smiled, and tried to laugh along with him, knowing all the while that it wouldn’t start for her- this was the end of her road.
“So what did you need to discuss?” she asked him for a second time. “Was it about one of the speeches that I left on your desk, because-?”
“No, no, they’re all fine,” said Norm, dropping his voice and glancing around. He actually got up and went to the door, making sure that it was firmly shut before he retook his seat. “It’s about… the wedding,” he whispered. “And-” he cleared his throat, “I also have a few things for you to sign.”
“Oh?” Ashley breathed shakily. Her heart seemed to drop low into her stomach. “I- I see.”
Norm shot her another fortifying smile and continued. “On the day of your wedding everything will go exactly according to the established plan, until you get into your limousine and start your drive towards the church-”
“Should I behave differently?” Ashley blurted, wanting to delay hearing Norm speak the inevitable. It was ridiculous, but she couldn’t help herself. She didn’t want the words spoken aloud!
“Should you-?” Norm looked confused.
“Should I be upset that morning? Do anything in particular to let people know I’m having second thoughts?”
Norm scratched his head thoughtfully. “If you think that would be best. I really don’t think it will matter too much though. Anyhow, as I was saying, you’ll get into the limousine and start on your way to the church, let the driver take you about ten minutes or so in the right direction before stopping him, then I want you to tell him to take you to the airport.”
“The airport?” Ashley murmured. This was a new little development. How far away was Norm planning on sending her?
“I thought you could take a flight back to Kentucky, to your home town?” Norm suggested. “Of course, you don’t have to, you can go wherever you want.” He rummaged through the papers he was carrying and pulled out one with a brand new credit card attached to it. “There should be more than enough money in that account for a few trips around the world if that’s what you want to do,” he said, with a short laugh that Ashley couldn’t share.
“I can get my own plane ticket,” she insisted quietly, but Norm shook his head and pushed the card towards again.
“We really want you to have this, Ashley,” he said firmly, giving her no other choice other than to accept. So, she was being paid off. “And, I just need your signature on a couple of these forms,” Norm added, rifling again, until he found the right sheets of paper. He cleared his throat. “They’re standard confidentially-”
“I know what they are,” Ashley said numbly. She picked up a pen.
“Don’t you want to read-” Norm started to ask, but Ashley had already slashed her name across the bottom of both sheets of paper.
“If you’ll excuse me,” she croaked. “I think- I think I should- I have to go, I’ve suddenly remembered a- a pressing appointment that can’t be-” but she couldn’t even finish the sentence. Ashley choked back a sob. “Please tell Michael I’m sorry I couldn’t wait for him!” she cried, darting out of the room, as tears started running down her cheeks.
29
By the time that Michael could excuse himself from the meeting, and head back to his office to see Ashley, more than an hour had passed. His meeting with John Tatterson had gone well, but he was looking forward to seeing Ashley again.
It was quite an unpleasant shock, when Michael strode into his office, “Did you miss me?” spilling from his lips, and saw that Norman and not Ashley was sitting at his desk.
Michael tried not to let his disappointment and annoyance show, but Norman must have sense something was wrong, because he started shuffling papers in a rather flustered manner.
“You were expecting Miss Kendall, no doubt?” Norm asked awkwardly. “Well, she was here with me just a minute ago- but ugh- she had to dash off.”
“Dash off?” Michael echoed, a frown pulling at his brow.
Norm nodded. “She seemed a little um- well, upset to be honest, although I can’t for the life of me think-”
Michael didn’t hear the last of what Norm was saying; he had already turned and rushed from the room. He couldn’t quite explain why he was doing it. He just knew that he had to- he had to find Ashley and make sure that she was all right.
He checked her office first, thinking that she would have retreated there if Norm really had managed to upset her about something, but the room Ashley used to work from was empty. There were hints that she had been there though, her coat was missing from the back of the door and her answering machine had been turned on for the night.
Michael drew his cell phone out of his pocket and speed dialed Ashley number. He held it to his ear as he jogged back to his own office, but he couldn’t say that he was hugely surprised when Ashley didn’t answer. He got the feeling that she was trying to avoid him.
“What did you say to her?” Michael barked at Norm, as he burst back into his office.
The other man looked alarmed, both by the question and Michael’s odd behavior. “Nothing upsetting! You know what women can be like,” he sighed. “I was simply talking to her about your wedding day. We were discussing what was going to happen,” he added defensively. “Speaking of which, I need to talk to you about-”
“Not now Norman,” Michael growled. “I have to go and find Ash.”
The look that Norm shot him seemed to ask if he was quite sane. “Why?” he asked incredulously.
Michael opened his mouth, hoping that a plausible answer would just spring to his lips. It didn’t. The only answer that occurred to him at all was… because I love her, and he really didn’t think that his campaign manager would approve of that sentiment!
“Because I am,” he grunted, and then before Norm could question him any further, Michael turned and left the room.
He got into his car downstairs in the parking garage, not wanting to bother with his usual chauffeur Michael drove himself. He knew the way Ashley’s home better than the route to his own house now, so he didn’t have any mishaps in finding the place. He was so determined to get there as he drove, that he didn’t stop to think what he was going to say to Ashley to explain his appearance on her doorstep.
“If she’s even here,” he muttered, pulling into her drive. He could see her car though, and he took that to be a good sign.
Michael jumped out of his own vehicle and hurried to the front door. He rang the doorbell and waited… but no one came. He rang it again, and still he was ignored. A deep frown darkened Michael’s face. He reached for the door handle, tried it, and found that it wasn’t even locked.
“Ash? Ashley, are you here?” Michael called, as he stepped into the hall. He closed the front door behind himself, and waited to see whether or not Ashley would answer him.
When there came no answer, Michael glanced into to the rooms downstairs, looking for his lover. He became increasingly worried when he found nothing. He had been hoping that he was overreacting to what Norm had told him- counting on Ashley answering the door and giggling at him when she realized that he had raced across the city to make sure that
she was all right. It didn’t look that that was going to be happening however.
“Ash?” Michael shouted upstairs, and this time he thought he heard something. He raced up the stairs, taking them two at a time, before crashing into Ashley’s bedroom.
Ashley was sitting in the middle of her bed, hugging a pillow to her chest. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, and her cheeks were covered with tears. Michael felt like hell.
“Wh-what are you doing here?” Ashley demanded, dashing the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. She looked a little dazed. Somehow, she obviously hadn’t heard him shouting. “How d-did you get in?” she sniffed.
“The front door was open,” Michael said gruffly. He couldn’t stand it when women cried- especially not when he lo- cared about them! He felt so disgustingly helpless. “Ash, what’s wrong?” he asked gently, edging towards the bed. Once she was within arms reach he caught her hold and crushed her against his chest. “Baby?” he pressed. “Tell me,” he urged, as he rubbed his knuckles over her back in soothing circles.
“I- it was just-” Ashley stammered, but then she shook her head and buried her face against his chest, starting to cry all over again!
“Don’t, Ash, please don’t cry!” Michael begged, holding her even tighter, until she started to squirm and he realized that he was crushing her. “You don’t have to tell me right now,” he murmured, gently kissing the top of her head. “Just calm down, okay?”
“M’okay,” Ashley sobbed weakly, and she did very slowly stop crying, but she didn’t seem at all inclined to tell Michael what the matter was… which of course left him to come up with a few reasons of his own.
Norman had told Michael that he and Ashley had been talking about the wedding, which not doubt meant that Ashley had been being given her “jilting” instructions… well, why would that upset her so much? Michael tried very hard- well, he tried a little bit- to ignore the answer that instantly leapt to his mind. Maybe it had upset her because she didn’t want to jilt him?
Michael was uncomfortably aware of how that notion caused a fluttering heat to burn in his chest. However, just because he wouldn’t mind marrying Ashley- well, it didn’t necessary mean that she felt the same way about him, but it might?
Michael shifted his weight around slightly, so that he was sitting on the bed with his back resting against the headboard. Ashley was curled up against his chest, slowly relaxing, as her tears finally stopped falling and her breathing steadied out. She hiccupped softly, and lifted her eyes so that she could look at Michael’s face. He smiled down at her warmly, wondering if he dared do anything with the theory he had just realized.
“I’m sorry,” Ashley sniffed weakly. A deeply embarrassed blush had crept into her cheeks. “I don’t know- I don’t know what came over me,” she mumbled, glancing down at the bedspread.
“Don’t you?” Michael murmured, stroked his fingers through her hair. He kissed the top of her head again, and then dragged his lips across her skin, bestowing comfort, not passion, for once. “Are you sure?” he asked gently. “Norman told me that he thought you were upset. He said that you had been discussing the details of the wedding?” he added, in what he hoped were neutral, casual tones.
“What else did he say?” Ashley asked, if possible, her cheeks were burning an even deeper red than they had been before.
“Ugh- nothing really,” Michael admitted. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to confess that he hadn’t exactly stayed around for long enough to hear anything else that Norman might have had to say- he didn’t want to confess it until he knew why Ashley had been crying at least.
“Well, I guess- I guess the pressure of the campaign just got to me a little,” Ashley laughed weakly. Michael didn’t join her.
“Are you sure that’s all it was?” he pressed, needing to know the answer. “Ash? Please tell me?” he begged, wondering if maybe- just maybe, he shouldn’t just say, “to hell with all!” and straight out ask her if she wanted to marry him for real. He didn’t get that chance however, because Ashley had finally decided to explain herself.
“I was just wondering-” she paused to lick her lips. “What’s going to happen to me afterwards, Michael?” she asked quietly.
Michael frowned, not entirely sure that he grasped her meaning, and then it slowly sank in, and with it the harsh disappointment of reality. She didn’t care about him at all. “You mean with your career?” he asked numbly.
Ashley hesitated for a second, and Michael almost thought she was going to disagree with him, but then she nodded her head, and sighed. “Yes, with my career?”
“You could go and work for the other side,” Michael tried to joke, but it came out sounding bitter and hurt, and Ashley didn’t look in the least amused.
“But I wanted to- to work for you!” she wailed, and then she caught Michael by surprise by throwing her arms around his neck. It wasn’t exactly what he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear her say that she wanted to be his wife, after all, but it was a little more than he had been expecting, especially after her last confession?
“I guess we didn’t think through the consequences of all of this too well, did we?” he sighed heavily. He certainly hadn’t reckoned on losing his heart.
Ashley mustered a small, shaky smile. “I guess not,” she laughed unsteadily. “Oh Michael,” she whispered, toying with his tie. “I wish-”
Michael held his breath and waited to hear what Ashley would say next. He knew he was a fool for getting his hopes again, but he couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t hear anything that he wanted to however; he didn’t hear anything at all, because Ashley made a lunge for his mouth.
As avoidance tactics went, this was one of the best… Ashley thought to herself, as she slipped her tongue into Michael’s mouth. She needed him distracted. She needed him to stop asking questions!
“Ash,” he growled, gasping for breath, but Ashley wasn’t about to give up. If he pushed her very much further she was going to confess everything to him! And somehow she didn’t think that telling Michael that she was in love with him would be the wisest of moves.
“Please?” she panted, pushing him down onto the mattress. “Make love to me, Michael?” she urged desperately, whispered the words against his skin. Maybe he would realize… maybe her body would be able to communicate what she was too afraid to say? For all the good it would do… “You promised…” she puffed, reminding him of their earlier encounter in his office.
“Is this really what you want?” Michael growled. There was something in his voice that Ashley didn’t understand.
“I want you,” she nodded breathlessly, willing him to realize that she meant more- so much more than just the sex.
“I want you too,” he sighed. He looked so sad. Ashley cupped Michael’s cheek in her palm, asking him with her eyes what the matter was. He kept that secret to himself however, devouring her with a fiery kiss that banished any thoughts of after. Here and now, and what was happening between them was all that mattered.
He was so much gentler than usual. Ashley didn’t realize the difference at first, only that it didn’t feel like their normal, frantic, couplings. It didn’t feel bad, just different, but when she did finally manage to put her finger on the change it was almost enough to bring tears to her eyes.
He was saying goodbye.
Ashley clutched at Michael, dragging him closer, as they undressed one another, exploring each other’s bodies with a new reverence. Ashley wanted to remember everything… she wanted to be able to close her eyes when Michael was gone and be able to summon the image of his body moving over her… inside her.
“You’re so beautiful,” he rasped, speaking the words against the shell of her ear as he slowly buried himself between her legs. Ashley could only moan and arch her back into the mattress. She always went a little mindless when Michael was inside her- stretching her, possessing her in a way no other man ever had.
“Don’t stop!” she panted, squeezing her eyes shut as he started to mov
e. Don’t ever stop…
They lay together for ages afterwards, simply savouring the closeness that they would never share again. When Michael finally made himself leave, Ashley didn’t tell him that she wouldn’t be coming into work the following day, or the one after that, or the one after that- she had decided to work from home for the last few days before the wedding, she hoped it would be easier for her if she didn’t have to see him every day- but although she didn’t say anything, something about Michael’s demeanor told her that he knew this was really the end.
30
The days that led up to the wedding past in a strange hazy blur for Ashley. Sometimes she felt like time was rushing by, and at other times it seemed to have stopped dead. She thought about Michael far more than was healthy… but she just couldn’t help herself! What else was there to think about anyway? She sent him one finally speech… the one he would have to give after she had jilted her… and then, as Norm was taking care of everything, all she had to do was relive every moment of their affair.
The Perfect Candidate Page 17
