by Janice Lynn
A shadow? She looked closely at the area he indicated near the distal portion of the abdominal aorta, close to where the right iliac artery branched. Very subtle, but there could be a shadow. Or it could be incidental.
“I’m sending him to Dekalb by ambulance.” In full doctor mode, James nodded. “Good idea. It’s exactly what I was thinking.”
She rushed out to make the call. When she stepped back into the exam room, she saw James gently talking to Bob. The older man had a ghastly hue to his dark skin.
“They’re on their way.”
A loud pop had Bob crying out, grabbing his stomach. James and Melissa’s eyes met. A chill ran over her spine. Oh, God. There had been a shadow.
An aortic aneurysm shadow. A weakness in the vascular wall of the largest blood vessel in the body that caused a bulge. That bulge had just ruptured.
“We need to start an IV, stat,” James ordered. Kicking immediately into the role he played best, he helped Bob lie back on the table and propped his feet up.
Her adrenaline jolting, Melissa gathered what she’d need, calling for Debbie so she could send her for anything else that she and James might think of.
“Call Life Flight,” she told the nurse. “We need a helicopter, stat. Bob Woods just popped an aortic aneurysm.”
“Isn’t that fatal?” Debbie asked, her eyes wide while she watched Melissa grab a bag of normal saline IV fluid and an IV line.
“Almost always,” Melissa responded, hating it that statistics said Bob Woods wouldn’t live to see another day.
Within seconds she inserted the needle and was attaching the bag of fluid.
“Give it wide open,” James ordered. “We’ve got to keep enough fluid in him to keep his vital organs profused.”
Bob mumbled something, but his eyes were closed.
“Did you give something to sedate him?”
James shook his head. “He’s gone into shock and his body is cutting off all non-essential functions to conserve energy. Hold his legs completely up.”
Side by side, they did what little could be done until Life Flight arrived.
The moment she heard the buzz of the helicopter, Melissa sighed. Despite their efforts, Bob’s vitals were rapidly dropping as the ruptured aneurysm bled into his abdominal cavity. Actually, his pulse holding as well as it was amazed her. Bob Woods was bleeding to death on the inside.
“They’re taking him to Vanderbilt,” James told her when the helicopter was in the air. “I’ve called and spoken with the emergency room staff. He’ll be taken straight into the operating room on arrival.”
Relief washing over her that everything that could be done to save Bob’s life would be done, she nodded.
A small crowd had gathered in Melissa’s parking lot. Emergency airlifts rarely occurred in Sawtooth, usually from motor vehicle accidents when they did, but never from Melissa’s office.
Her hands shook, her knees wobbled, and her stomach churned, but she forced a smile at the curious onlookers. Debbie was already rushing them back to their business.
A hot flush coated Melissa’s skin with moisture and her eyes dimmed. She needed to sit down. Now.
So she did. Right there in the middle of the parking lot. Still, she fought to keep conscious, so she lowered her head to between her knees. At least, as much as her belly would allow.
“Melissa?” both James and Debbie called. Their voices sounded far away, but she could feel them touching her.
“I’m fine.” But she wasn’t. The stress of the night before, of fighting with James, with knowing she might never hear Bob’s laughter or see him peddling his hand-made rocking chairs ever again, had caught up with her.
“Isn’t this exactly what I’ve been saying was going to happen?” James swore, scooped Melissa into his arms, and headed into the building. “You are going to make some changes if I have to kidnap you and force you to.”
“Debbie heard you threaten me,” she warned, wishing his arms didn’t feel so good around her, wishing his spicy male scent didn’t fill her with lust. Lust! How could she feel desire at a time like this?
“Debbie is so worried about you that she’d pack your bag and wish me luck.”
Melissa closed her eyes, hating her weakness. Her physical weakness that had caused her to sit down in the middle of her parking lot. Her emotional weakness that jumped excitedly at the prospect of him taking her far away, just the two of them somewhere peaceful and stress-free.
“What? No argument?” he asked, as he laid her on the sofa in her office, but she immediately sat up.
Missing his body warmth, Melissa rubbed her bare arms. “I’m OK now. I just got a little light-headed.”
“No.”
“No?” She raised a brow, not understanding what he meant.
“No, you aren’t going to shove aside the hints your body is giving that you need to slow down.”
“James, lots of women get light-headed during pregnancy.”
“We’re not talking about lots of women. We’re talking about you. You and our baby.” The angry spark was back in his eyes. “Despite what you obviously think, the last thing I want is for you to miscarry. Although you’re giving a damned good impression that it’s what you want and I have to wonder why. Are you pushing yourself out of guilt?”
She reeled back, not believing what he was saying. “No,” she gasped.
“Then stop acting in ways that give the impression this baby means nothing to you.”
“How dare you?”
“Furthermore,” he said, ignoring her outburst, “you have to start thinking about the future. You can’t work like this after the baby arrives. At least for the first few weeks, you’re going to need to regain your strength. Who’s going to take care of your precious patients while you do that?”
“Haven’t you heard of the women who gave birth and went straight back to picking cotton?” she asked flippantly.
“Perhaps you might recall just how short those women’s lifespans were.”
Ouch.
“You think you have all the answers,” she accused, knowing that whether or not she felt up to another row, there was going to be one. “Well, you don’t. What am I supposed to do? Just let people die? That’s not who I am, James. I don’t turn my back on people.”
“You turned your back on me,” he said angrily. “On us.”
“You’re the one who walked when you found out I was pregnant,” she reminded him.
“Your pregnancy had little to do with the reasons I left. You turned your back on me months before that. My leaving just brought it to your attention.”
“You ran away,” she accused, pulling Norma’s Afghan to her protectively.
“I wanted to wake you up to the fact that you put every single person’s needs in front of mine. You killed our relationship.” He leaned in, his face inches from hers. “I want to know why.”
She pushed against his chest. “Because I wanted a baby and every time I looked at you, all I could think was that I’d never have a real family if we stayed together.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
JAMES stared at Melissa’s ashen face and couldn’t believe what she’d just admitted. Despite having been honest, having told her he didn’t want kids, she’d wanted a baby all along. If she weren’t such an ethical person, he’d suspect her of having intentionally gotten pregnant.
Her surprised, guilty-appearing face said she was just as shocked at her admission as he was. If having a family had meant so much to her, why had she agreed to no kids?
His gaze lowered to her swollen belly. “It looks like you get what you want.”
She grimaced. “Like this wasn’t what I wanted.”
“Regardless, you are pregnant. For the sake of our baby, we’re going to make changes to our current arrangement.”
“What kind of changes?” she asked suspiciously. “I’ve already told you that I’m not going to sell my practice.”
“I think we both know that your practice is yo
ur number one priority, so that’s out.” His statement sounded more like a slur even to his own ears.
“That’s not fair.”
“No,” he agreed, “but, then, no one said life had to be fair. I should move back in.”
“What about…?” She stopped, her face screwing up unpleasantly. “Nashville?”
“I’m going to ask for a leave of absence until after the baby is born.”
“From the hospital?” she asked, not bothering to hide her shock.
“Yes.”
“What about your classes? Your research?”
“I’ll continue.” He shrugged. “Two mornings a week and I’ll spend those afternoons in the lab.”
“I admitted weeks ago that I wanted you to come home and you refused. Why now?”
“Don’t take my moving back wrong. It’s for selfish reasons.”
“What selfish reasons?”
“I want my baby to have every advantage. Being healthy seems an important one. You forget or are too busy to take care of your needs, things like sleep, good nutrition, keeping your stress to a minimum, thus unintentionally hurting our baby.”
“You arrogant…” Again she stopped, searching for a vile enough word.
“Probably,” he agreed to whatever name she planned to call him. “But I’m moving back so I can look out for our child. But you’ve got to make concessions, too, Melissa. No more late nights. I’ll help with the calls that can’t be diverted to Dekalb, but you have to start cutting the community’s dependency on you. You can’t do it all.”
She opened her mouth to deny him, but he’d had enough.
“I’ll keep your practice going so that after the baby is born you can step back in and not miss a beat—if that’s what you want. In return, you’re going to take care of yourself and my baby.” He stared into her eyes, knowing he wouldn’t back down on this. Not after last night and this afternoon. Neither would he take no for an answer. “If this baby means anything to you, you’ll meet me halfway. Now, tell me what you want for lunch, and I’ll feed you. Then you’re going home to rest and think about everything I’ve said. I’ll see your afternoon patients and bring our dinner home with me, so don’t bother fixing anything.”
That evening, Melissa lounged on her living-room sofa and reread the same sentence for at least the hundredth time. Although she loved reading, her heart just wasn’t into it. Or into anything except checking the clock on the fireplace mantel. Two minutes since the last time she’d checked.
After six and no sign of James.
Maybe she should call Debbie again, make sure James truly had everything under control.
What was she thinking? Of course he did. He was a highly sought-after Vanderbilt emergency room physician.
One that she’d always admired. Well, until that night when she’d watched him with Lila Barnes and become disenchanted.
Which really wasn’t fair.
She’d been upset, tired, frustrated, disenchanted long before she’d walked into that waiting room and judged him through the eyes of anger and disillusionment.
Just as she’d been subconsciously angry at him for months. She hadn’t realized how angry until that afternoon when they’d argued and she’d admitted the truth. She’d resented him for denying her what she’d craved her whole life—a family. And now she was essentially doing the same to him, forcing a family on him when it wasn’t what he wanted.
How could she want him in her life, want his baby, and steal his dreams in the process? Was he right? Had she been pushing herself so hard after discovering her pregnancy because of guilt? She’d thought she worked so hard to avoid her loneliness and loss at James’s absence, but she did feel guilty. Why did her dream have to be in direct conflict with what he wanted? And although seeing the ultrasound had softened his heart, that didn’t mean he’d have chosen parenthood.
Headlights appeared in the drive, flickering light through the large windows along the front of the house. The garage door ground open. James was home.
Melissa set down her book, and stood. What was she doing? Running to the door to greet him? Just because she planned to agree to his terms, it didn’t mean a thing had changed between them. They were two people torn apart but bound by a baby.
She sat, picked up the book, and pretended to read. Pretended because the words blurred and her heart thudded while she strained for the sound of James’s car pulling into the garage, of his car door opening and closing, of him entering the house.
And then there he was. Opening the kitchen door and walking through the house, sinking onto the opposite end of the sofa, looking handsome, as always, but exhausted.
He leaned back, his deep blue eyes watching her through shaded lids. She fought squirming.
“How did it go today?” she asked, rather than admit how strongly he threw her off-kilter.
“Fine.”
“Any word on Bob Woods?”
“I called and checked on him on my way home. He’s still in surgery and it’s touch-and-go, but for the time being he’s holding his own. Fortunately, he was bleeding into an area of the abdominal cavity that, when it filled with blood, helped put pressure on the ruptured aneurysm, which slowed the blood loss. Otherwise he wouldn’t have had a chance of surviving.”
She nodded, her stomach twisting once again at what would have happened had James not been at the office. Silence loomed again and Melissa could feel his eyes watching her.
“Cindy Moss? How’s she?” She really should have talked to Jamie today, seen how the young woman was holding up. Instead, she’d gone home after lunch and soaked in a tub of lukewarm water, yearning for hot water but knowing it wasn’t recommended during pregnancy. She’d left the office prior to Jamie returning from her chemo.
“Back to normal.”
“That’s good to hear.” They sounded pathetic, like strangers making small talk.
“I met her mother today.”
“Jamie?” she asked, wondering why she sounded so surprised. James would have met her when she’d picked up Cindy. “How’s she?”
“Not nearly as well as her daughter.”
Melissa could believe that. Jamie didn’t have the resources to cope well with the problems she faced.
“We talked for a long time. She told me everything you’ve done.”
Heat burned Melissa’s cheeks. “Just doing my job.”
“No.” He brushed his palms down his thighs, looking pensive. “You’ve done much more than that, much more than most doctors would have, and we both know it.”
He sounded so sincere, so full of praise rather than condemnation that Melissa found it hard to swallow.
“One day of working at the clinic and your disposition about my patients has totally changed?” She regarded him suspiciously. “I don’t buy it.”
“My disposition hasn’t changed.” He didn’t bat an eyelash. “I think you work too hard and too much.”
“Did my small-town practice bore you to tears?” Another one of those moments when she wondered why she hadn’t held her tongue. They were having a decent enough conversation. Why purposely bait him?
“You’d ask me that after airlifting a ruptured aortic aneurysm?” he snorted, then gave a slow smile. “Surprisingly, even beyond Bob Woods, it didn’t.”
Surprising indeed.
“Why did you get someone to cover for you today?”
James’s smile faded and his eyes narrowed. He considered her for a long time. “I got my class covered because when you didn’t answer my calls last night, I got worried.”
“And drove to Sawtooth in the middle of the night?”
“I kept trying here and your cell phone. It was when I still couldn’t get you after midnight that I got worried, arranged for someone to cover the rest of my ER shift.”
“You were working last night?”
He nodded. “Why didn’t you answer your cell phone? I know you keep that thing on you at all times.”
Usually she did keep the p
hone near her, but she hated carrying it because of possible radiation to the baby. There was too much controversy on the subject to take a chance. She’d gotten into the habit of leaving it on her desk.
“I turned it to vibrate so it wouldn’t wake Cindy, then didn’t hear it vibrating when you called.”
“You scared me.”
By the dark look in his eyes, she could tell he had feared for her safety. “I’d have called if something happened, James.”
“If you could call.”
She gave a nervous laugh. “Don’t be so melodramatic. I’m fine. I was fine last night.”
“There was nothing fine about you last night. You were exhausted and risking your health, our baby’s health, and that of your patient.”
“My patient is fine. You said so yourself.”
“Even before you were pregnant, you’d forget to eat. Many a night I think you would have forgone eating altogether if I hadn’t already had you something ready.”
“That’s in the past. Since my pregnancy test, I’ve made myself eat three times a day even when I’m so nauseated I can barely stomach a cracker.”
“Good for you, but you still look awful.”
“Thanks,” she snorted.
“Sometimes the truth hurts.”
“Like the truth that you left me for Dr Weaver?” Why had she said that? She knew he hadn’t left her for the cardiologist. Jealousy, pure and simple in its ugly, green-eyed form.
“I didn’t leave you for Kristen,” he immediately denied. “Kristen is my friend, nothing more, and never will be. I left because you failed to value our relationship, weren’t willing to give what I needed.”
Wasn’t that why she’d pushed him away, too? Because he wouldn’t give her what she wanted? A baby.
But he had given her one. Unintentionally, but his baby was growing within her belly all the same.
“I valued our relationship.” And how did he know what she hadn’t been willing to give? Was he referring to his asinine suggestion that she sell her practice and move to Nashville?
“Really? From where I’m sitting, it didn’t appear so. I asked you to give me one night and you couldn’t even manage that.”
