by Logan Byrne
“Yeah, I hope so. We should do this again sometime,” she said.
“I’d like that. I don’t think I have your number anymore,” I said, even though I knew I never had it to begin with.
“Here,” she said, with a small smile, before motioning for my phone. She typed in her number and saved it before giving the phone back to me.
“Thank you for being exactly what I needed tonight, Theo. You always knew the right things to say,” she said before standing up and reaching down to give me a hug.
Closing my eyes, I breathed in her lavender-scented shampoo before she let go, leaving me teetering on the edge of the swing. Maybe my creepiness looking out the window wasn’t such a bad move after all.
•••
Time never seemed to go slow enough between classes anymore. Here I was, a senior in high school, and you’d think I was a frazzled, timid freshman from the way I rushed to my locker and to my next class. I feared nothing more than being late and getting in trouble. Seniors were supposed to rule the halls, to slow down and take their time to socialize as they took their final year with a grain of salt, but I was unfortunate to not be one of those kinds of students.
I’d spent the better half of the rest of my night talking to Martin about what happened with Belle on the swings. He didn’t know her, beyond seeing her at school, and he was definitely the only person in the world who knew about my undying love for her. It was a secret I knew he could keep it.
I had seen Belle pull out of her driveway this morning on her way to school, but we hadn’t texted or talked or had any interaction aside from last night. Hell, I wasn’t even sure any of it had ever even happened. Maybe I just dreamed it all up.
With my books gripped tightly between my arm and my side, I hurried to class, dodging a stampede of freshmen with rolling backpacks before having to contort myself through traffic to pass the stoner kids, who all walked slowly in a large group. There was a couple making out outside of my classroom like they did every single morning, as if their lips couldn’t bear to part for a single period. I sometimes wondered what that was like.
I sped into the classroom, which was only about a third of the way full—no Annabelle yet—as my teacher, Mr. Jamison, was writing equations on the board. I was in Calculus, the bane of my existence, and as I sat down next to Martin, catching my breath, he couldn’t help but blurt it out.
“Did you talk to her yet?”
“No, not yet. It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours,” I said.
“You have to act if you’re going to get with her, Theo. Do you think girls like that just wait? They don’t. Have you ever seen a documentary about animals mating? Tons of guys are going to be flaunting their brightly colored feathers and dancing around her so she’ll be with them. You need to flash your feathers even brighter,” he said.
“That’s not my goal, though. I’m not trying to get in her pants like they are. I’m not trying to use her for my own gain,” I said.
I pulled a worksheet from my notebook and in the process knocked my pen off the edge of my desk. It rolled a few desks forward, and when I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a pair of shoes near my hand. I stood up, and she was there, smiling at me, her hands gripping her books as they rested against her thighs.
“Hi,” she said in a flowery tone.
As if we were in an anime, I saw rainbows and flowers appear all around her as the sun hit her just right and her hair, which was long and flowing, fluttered in the gentle breeze.
“Hey,” I said, shaking my head a little and pulling myself back into reality.
“Please take your seats,” Mr. Jamison said.
With a lump in my throat, I walked back to my seat as Trent and two of his football buddies came into the room laughing and slapping one another’s chests.
How they were in this class I’d never know. I guess the school and football team were in serious need for these guys, so they put them in here and gave them passing grades even though we all knew they couldn’t do first-grade math, let alone Algebra II.
“Please take your seats, gentlemen,” Mr. Jamison said.
Trent walked over to his seat near Annabelle and bent to give her a quick kiss.
She looked taken aback, as if she couldn’t believe what just happened. I couldn’t believe what just happened either. Martin couldn’t believe what just happened. They were supposed to be on a break, so why was he doing this? Mr. Jamison asked us to turn to some page in the textbook, but I couldn’t be bothered with that right now. I was fuming, my fists clenching. Belle quietly took out her phone and typed something out. Was she going to text me something? I guess she didn’t even have my number, at least not that I knew, and before I knew it she’d hit send and put it away. Oh, how I wished I knew what she’d sent out.
“Mr. Quinn,” Mr. Jamison said, catching my attention.
“Y-yes, Mr. Jamison?” I asked, my voice cracking.
“I asked if you knew the answer to question thirty on the study exam. Would you please come up to the board and work out the problem?” he said.
Nervously, I got up from my seat before walking down the aisle and taking the marker from his hand. I stood there, my face a foot from the white board, as my palms began to get sweaty and my knees began to shake. I knew the answer to this—math was my strongest subject—yet for some reason, I just couldn’t get myself to think. It was as if my mind had been sucked out of my head and I was left with an empty skull with an acorn rattling around inside.
“You may begin at any time,” Mr. Jamison said.
A few people chuckled behind me as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I didn’t know public humiliation was still a valid form of punishment in this age. Why not stone me as well? It might be less painful.
I started to work out the problem to the best of my ability, though I suppose my best wasn’t quite good enough. I got about halfway through before I hit a brick wall.
“I’m afraid I don’t know any more,” I said to Mr. Jamison.
“Take a seat, Theo. Does anybody else want to come and finish it?”
I set down the marker as Julia, the smartest girl in the class, possibly even the school, got up to work on my equation.
“What an idiot,” Trent said as I walked by him.
“Shut up, Trent,” Annabelle said, slapping him.
“Yeah, Trent, don’t make fun of her boyfriend,” another kid said with a laugh.
I sat down, my cheeks becoming warm as I wished this would all be over with. I wished high school would be over with.
•••
There was a tap on my shoulder as I collected my things from my locker at the end of the day. I turned to see Annabelle standing there, crowds of people walking around us.
“I’m sorry for earlier. I wanted to say something, but you left before I had the chance,” she said.
“Nothing for you to be sorry about. You didn’t do anything,” I said, wrapping the straps of my backpack around my shoulders.
“I know, but I felt I should say something. He can be like that sometimes. I think it’s one of the reasons things have gone so bad between us lately. Sometimes I just don’t think that I can deal with it,” she said.
“Don’t ever feel like you have to. You can do better, you know. What were you even planning to do after high school is over? Aren’t you two going to different colleges?” I asked.
“Yeah, he’s going to Duke to play football. I was thinking of the University of Illinois in Chicago. It’s a good campus, and I’d be in the city finally. No more country roads and getting lost in cornfields,” she said with a smile.
“That sounds awesome, and also the reason why you should try for better,” I said as I closed my locker.
“Do you need a lift home?” she asked, almost out of the blue.
“I was going to take the bus,” I said.
“I can take you. If you want that, that is. I understand if you’d rather not,” she said.
All I could think of
in this moment, this most perfect moment, was Martin inside my head, his deep voice telling me to go with her. He’d say I was an idiot for not taking the invitation, and that this could be my chance to get closer to her. Besides, she was asking me, and that was cause enough to go.
“Yeah, I’ll come with, if it’s not a burden or anything,” I said.
“Theo, we live literally live right next door to each other. It’s not a burden. Come on,” she said, grabbing my jacket sleeve and pulling me along.
The sea of students around us seemed to part as Annabelle guided me toward the parking lot. I’d rarely ever been there, since I didn’t have a car or a friend to drive me home. Martin’s mom usually picked him up, and I couldn’t say I had many other friends besides him.
Annabelle drove a 2006 Toyota Corolla, and when she started the car, bubblegum pop music blared from its speakers. She quickly turned it down and then pulled into the line of cars.
“Are you hungry?” she asked, just before it was our turn at the stop sign.
“Yeah, I could eat,” I said nonchalantly, as I rubbed my damp palms against my jeans and tried to act cool.
“Good,” she said with a smile before screeching out of the parking lot.
That was one thing I had forgotten about Belle. She had a penchant for speed. Even when we were little, she had this motorized child-size car that would top out at a few miles per hour. I swear she must’ve done something to it, because when I was in the passenger seat, I was clutching on for dear life as she zigged and zagged between bushes and trees without a care for safety. I suppose old habits die hard, and right now, as I dug my fingernails into my thighs, I wished this habit had died a long time ago.
“Still eating here, huh?” I asked as we pulled up to the Dairy Queen.
“How could I not? It’s basically our childhood,” she answered.
The Dairy Queen’s interior had been updated slightly since I was last here, but it was somehow still the same. There were ice cream cakes in the refrigerators, and the menu, now sporting some new items, was still familiar enough to take me back to a simpler time.
“Welcome to Dairy Queen. What can I get for you?” the cashier asked.
Annabelle seemed to know what she wanted, like always, as she left me to awkwardly suffer as the cashier stood there and waited for me while I fumbled with deciding between a burger and chicken strips. I ordered the chicken strips and paid before turning and seeing Belle smiling.
“Same old Theo. Can’t not have his chicken strips and sweet-and-sour sauce,” she said.
“Hey, there’s some new things about me that you don’t know about,” I said.
“Yeah? Like what?” she asked as we filled up our drinks.
Truthfully, I had no idea what had changed since we last talked. I knew that sounded crazy, since it had been many years, but I thought I was about the same person now as I’d always been. You might find new interests or hobbies, but who you are is who you are from the day you’re born until the day you die. Your body might change, but what’s inside is as true now as it is until you take your final breath.
Just as we sat down and set our numbers on the edge of the table, the cashier brought us our trays and took the numbers away with him. I opened my dipping sauce, which had the same muted pink color that it did when I was a kid, and began to dig in as Belle took out her phone and let out a small sigh.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, with food still in my mouth.
“Trent is blowing up my phone as usual. He can be so annoying,” she said.
“I know it’s not my place, especially since we aren’t, you know, as close as we used to be, but you should just move on. You said that you’re going to different colleges anyway. Why make your last year of high school torture?” I asked.
“Well, it’s not like any other guys are busting down the door to date me, at least not since I started dating Trent,” she replied.
“You don’t need to be with somebody to be happy, Belle. You can just be with yourself. You can be with your family, or better yet, with friends. Strengthen bonds with current friends, as well as make new bonds with new friends,” I said.
“What about strengthening bonds with old friends?” she asked as I looked up and locked eyes with her.
“That too,” I said with a small smile.
I didn’t know if it was the aroma of the Blizzards they were making, or if they pumped this place with some kind of anti-nervousness gas, but being around Belle was easier than I expected it to be. I used to see her outside her house or around school or whatever and get insane butterflies, but there was something about talking to her and being around her again that made me feel like I was home. It was like we were kids again, and she still had that missing front tooth that she used to squirt water out of. It was nice.
“I’m really glad I saw you last night. I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while, but I was a little nervous,” she said.
Did I hear her correctly? Did she just say that she was nervous to talk to me? I must be dreaming.
“What? Why?” I asked, with equal parts shock and intrigue.
“I just didn’t think you liked me anymore. We’ve changed a lot since we were kids, and I thought you thought I was stuck-up or pretentious or something,” she said.
“No. Never. I’d never think that of you. I’m the one who was too nervous to say hi or wave or just … anything,” I said.
“So we could’ve been friends this entire time if one of us would’ve had the guts to just say hello?” she asked.
“I guess so,” I said, laughing a little.
“We’re still two giant dorks, that’s for sure,” she replied.
Her phone buzzed again, three times in a row, actually. She picked it up to look at it, but I nervously took it from her, hoping she wouldn’t yell at me, and turned it off before setting it on the table.
“Thank you,” she said as she delicately played with her French fries.
Looking at the wall up by the cash register, I saw a poster for the fair we had every fall at the fairgrounds. Everybody went; it was the biggest event of the year around here. As I stared at the poster, I thought of doing something that would go either really well or really terribly. I was going to ask Belle if she wanted to go with me, but I knew I had to play it off as no big deal. If she liked being friends, and that’s all I was, I needed to invite her in a way that was like two old buddies going to the fair together. If she did like me, even a little bit, and Martin was right, then I needed to ask in a way that wouldn’t make her think that I only wanted to go as friends. Why did asking a girl out have to be so difficult? Why did they make your teenage years the worst?
“I have a question for you,” I said, taking a sip of my Dr. Pepper.
“Yeah?” she asked, looking up from her food.
“Are you going to the fair this year? It’s in two weeks, I think,” I said, clearing my throat.
“Yeah, I have to perform for cheer this year,” she said.
“Oh, okay. Cool. That sounds like a fun time,” I said. My heart was beating out of my chest, and my armpits were starting to sweat so badly that I thought I’d leave a puddle on the seat.
“Why, are you going?” she asked.
“Well, maybe. I was just going to ask if you wanted to go together, but you’re busy,” I said.
“No, I’m only doing that for like half an hour of the time. I was just going to hang out with the girls, but I’d rather hang out with you,” she said.
With my drink in my mouth, I coughed a little, as the words that just entered my brain were far different than anything I ever expected.
“Are you okay?” she asked, handing me a napkin.
“Yeah,” I spurted out before coughing into the napkin and wiping my mouth.
Looking back at Belle, I knew that I’d finally gotten the chance I’d wanted for so many years. It wasn’t a date or anything, at least I didn’t think so, but it was a chance to spend more time with Belle, and I’d take
that above anything else.
“I’d love to go with you,” I said.
“Great,” she said with a smile. “We’ll be able to hang out for about an hour before I’ll have the routine, and then we can get back together afterward and go on rides and stuff. It’ll be fun. I’m looking forward to it.”
Chapter Three
Two weeks had passed since our after-school meal at Dairy Queen and things couldn’t have been going better. As time went by, Belle and I spent more of our free time together, building back a bridge that had been worn down all those years ago. She’d been taking my advice and not talking to Trent, even though he’d been trying hard to get back with her.
Dodging him at school wasn’t as easy, but even her friends, who were all for her and him being together at first, had started to keep her away so that he’d get the hint and move on to the next girl. Things between us hadn’t been romantic—far from it—but I’d say that they were moving in the right direction.
“So, you two are still on, right?” Martin asked as he sat on my bed the day of the fair.
“Yeah, at least I think so. She hasn’t said anything about not going,” I said.
“Man, can you believe it? A few weeks ago you were just Theodore Quinn, below-average guy, and now you’re Theodore Quinn, the guy about to go out with the prettiest girl in school. I wish I were you right now,” Martin said.
“I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not, but I’ll take it,” I said, looking through my closet.
I was never the type of guy to worry too much about my clothes or appearance, at least not as much as most guys my age, but I couldn’t help but put some serious effort into tonight. I knew I didn’t need to impress her or anything, but it never hurt to look nice and presentable. My mom even took me out shopping after my last therapy session and got me a new button-up shirt to wear for tonight. She couldn’t stop going on about how much she loved that the two of us were back together like we used to be. It got a little annoying, but it kept her from talking about my dad, so that was good.
