by Logan Byrne
“Belle … I’ve wanted to kiss you more times than you’ll ever know,” I said, trying to fight off the butterflies in my stomach.
She stared at me for a second, not saying a word, before my life changed before my eyes. She leaned in, closed her eyes, and pressed her lips against mine. My eyes first went wider than they’d ever been, then I closed them and savored the moment. The cake, which I was supposed to give to my mom, dropped to the ground as we kissed, and I couldn’t have cared less. I was kissing the girl of my dreams, and things couldn’t get much better.
She slowly pulled back, our lips sticking together a bit, and then our eyes opened in unison and we smiled softly at each other. Her hands, which were gripping the front of my shirt, let go and left a small wrinkle not only on the fabric but also on me. That kiss changed me in more ways than one.
“So, about more dates,” I said, laughing.
“I only go on dates with my boyfriend,” she said.
“Oh,” I said, as I felt my heart sinking.
“Yeah, so you’d have to ask me to be your girlfriend or something if you wanted to go on more of them,” she said.
“Oh,” I said, surprised.
She looked at me, waiting for me to say something, as I struggled to find the words that I’d never asked anybody else before. I knew them, had even practiced them millions of times in my head, but I guess I never thought I’d say them aloud, and to a girl no less.
“Will you—”
“Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend,” she said quickly, cutting me off.
She leaned in, kissing me on the cheek while she stood on her tiptoes and put her hands on my arms.
She let go, turned around, and walked back to her house as I stood there in shock, the stupidest look likely on my face. I saw her waving before she walked inside. Did that really just happen? Were we now dating?
I bent over, picking up the cake off the ground, and shuffled my feet through the wet grass and up the steps into my house. My mother, walking by the stairs, stopped and greeted me, and I handed her the cake.
“Leah wanted me to give this to you,” I said, smiling.
“Why does it have grass all over it?” she asked, picking blades of grass from the plastic wrap.
I walked past her and up the stairs to my room where I closed my door, turned on my lamp, and began to dance furiously. I literally jumped for joy and smiled the biggest smile I ever had in my life.
I spun around, still smiling, and saw Belle standing at her window, her hand to her mouth, as she laughed with a reddened face.
I froze, panicked, until my phone buzzed and I took it out of my pocket.
You’re cute when you’re goofy. Good night, boyfriend. She ended the text with a heart emoji. When I looked back up, her blinds were closed.
Yeah, I guess this all really did just happen.
Chapter Seven
Having a girlfriend was something I definitely wasn’t ready for, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. It was like all of a sudden I had somebody there who cared about me and wanted to talk to me in a way that other people didn’t. I had somebody who I knew I’d spend time with, go on dates with, and do things with that I hadn’t done with anybody else before. And it wasn’t just somebody, but the most special person I could think of.
I’d woken up the morning after our date to a text from Belle telling me that she was going to cheer practice for a few hours, but she wanted to see me later and maybe go for a walk. Things like that, like waking up to texts and seeing kissy faces and heart emojis, were foreign to me. I replied, saying that I’d love to see her later and we were on. It felt nice.
We spent part of the day and night together, sitting outside, gazing at the stars, as we just talked. We didn’t talk about anything in particular, or anything particularly interesting, but instead just listened to the sounds of each other’s voices so that we’d never forget them. I had no idea how long this relationship was going to last, if it was going to last at all, and I knew I needed to hear her voice as often as I could in case this went south.
When I woke up Monday morning for school, though, I felt a bit of nerves about this relationship, but in a different way. When just the two of us knew about it, it wasn’t bad at all. We were safe together, and nothing could hurt us. High school wasn’t safe, though, and I knew that walking in together, even holding hands, would be a potential nightmare for me and even her.
Would the other students snicker at the two of us together? I could hear them whispering now about how she’s with him or how I landed a girl like Belle. Not only that, but how would Trent respond? Was he going to try to intimidate me again, or worse, punch me again? I didn’t think he’d be that stupid, but then again it was Trent we were talking about.
Am I driving you to school? Belle texted me as I got ready.
If you want to. You don’t have to, though, I replied.
I want to. Be outside in thirty? : )
Deal. : )
The smiley face wasn’t just on my phone screen as I got dressed and collected my things before going downstairs for breakfast.
“Well, somebody sure is happy,” my mother said as she poured me a bowl of cereal.
“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” I replied, grabbing my spoon.
“I always knew you guys would end up dating. I think she needs a guy like you, Theo,” she said.
“A guy like me?” I asked, with a mouthful of cereal.
“Yes, a guy like you. Somebody who’s smart, attentive, caring, sweet, and who has her very best interests at heart. You don’t want anything from her but her love, and you’ve never pushed her to do anything she didn’t want to do. You care about her, Theo, and she knows it. She knows it very much,” she said.
“I just hope everybody else knows it,” I said, the cereal shrinking with each passing second.
“Nervous about how other people will react at school?” she asked.
“That easy to tell?” I asked.
“I know that you’re nervous about it, and I think you have every right to be. You aren’t as involved at school as she is. That can be hard,” she said.
“You mean I’m a loser, and she isn’t,” I blurted out.
“Theodore James Quinn, you knock that off right now! You’re not a loser and you’ve never been a loser. Not being in things like band or on the football team doesn’t make you a loser in the slightest. I just mean that people don’t know you, and when you start to date somebody who’s very well known, it can open up criticism that you might not have faced before. High school is like the African savannah, and if those higher in the food chain think you’re weak, they’ll try to attack you to take you down. But you aren’t weak, and neither is Annabelle, and as long as you have each other, you’ll be fine,” she said.
It wasn’t like my mom to be this insightful, especially this early in the morning, but I guess people can change. Belle and I were prime examples of that, and now my mother was added into the mix. I already knew that things were going to be hard, at least for me, but I also knew that only what Belle and I thought mattered. We were going to be leaving all these people soon, and then we’d be set. As long as the two of us were happy together, then everything was fine.
“Thank you, Mom. I better get going, though. Belle will be outside soon. She’s driving me to school,” I said.
“Have a good day, honey. Remember what I said, and keep your chin up and your chest out when you walk in there today,” she said as I grabbed my bag.
Belle was sitting in her car as I walked outside. She noticed me, perked up, and unlocked the doors. I got inside and put my backpack between my feet.
“Good morning,” I said.
I grabbed my seatbelt and turned to buckle it. Her face was inches away from mine, a goofy smile and look on it. I furrowed my eyebrows and wondered what she was doing.
Before saying anything, she gave me a kiss on the lips and moved back as she smiled from ear to ear.
“Did I scare you?�
� she asked.
“Not a chance,” I said.
“Maybe we should watch another scary movie then so you can wet your pants again,” she said before putting the car into reverse.
“Yeah, right, I think you were the one doing that. I saw you close your eyes,” I said.
“Only because I thought you were scared and closing yours. I didn’t want to make you feel bad,” she said.
“Then we should watch another one and see who really gets scared,” I said.
“It’s a date,” she replied.
We talked the entire short distance to school before pulling into the parking lot and getting a few looks already. They weren’t bad looks per se, and maybe they were just looking at the car because it was coming at them. I tried to tell myself whatever I could to keep sane, and I definitely didn’t want to bring anything up to Belle about it, but to say I was nervous was an understatement.
We parked between two red cars and got out. I slung my backpack across my back, and Belle locked the car. I walked around to her as she waited, and as I came near her, she stuck out her hand and flashed a small smile, as if to tell me it was okay. I gave her a small smile in return before taking her hand and lacing my fingers with hers.
As we got closer to the front door, I noticed some people looking at us, but not necessarily in a bad way. It was more a surprised or shocked way, but they weren’t laughing or saying things to other people.
In fact, nobody really seemed to pay attention—at least not that I saw. People were too busy getting their things and talking to friends before classes started to even bother with us. We weren’t going to make the rounds of gossip, and we weren’t going to make the front cover of a magazine like some Hollywood A-list couple.
“Can I walk you to your locker?” I asked.
“Please,” she replied, squeezing my hand a little tighter.
Navigating through a thousand other students was difficult when you were holding somebody’s hand, though not impossible. There was a lot of shifting around and walking behind the other person at some points, but our grip never loosened and we never lost hold of each other. It was almost like a sign that everything was going to be fine. Almost.
The only problem was that Trent’s locker was sort of near Belle’s, and we had to walk past it to get to hers. She didn’t seem fazed by it, but I knew that Trent and his friends liked to hang around there and flick the ears of freshmen walking by, and he’d most definitely see us together.
We turned down her hallway, and I noticed Trent in the distance, all alone, standing at Belle’s locker. I wasn’t sure if this was better or worse than him with his friends at his own locker, but I knew it was going to be uncomfortable nonetheless.
“What the hell is this?” he asked, pointing to us holding hands as we approached her locker.
“Please leave, Trent,” Belle said.
“No, I want to know what’s going on. Are you cheating on me, and with him? You couldn’t at least have found a decent guy?” he asked.
“You and I are not together, and haven’t been for a while now. If you didn’t take that seriously, it’s your own fault, but I suggest you move on. I have, and now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been,” Belle said, standing up to him in a way I never could.
“So you’re throwing away everything we ever had together?” he asked.
“Trent, we never had anything to begin with. We had no shared interests, nothing to talk about, and all you ever did was talk about yourself while showing no interest in anything I liked. Theo isn’t like that, and never has been for as long as I’ve known him. He actually cares about me, and I care about him,” she said.
“But he’s a loser,” he exclaimed, as passing students started to focus on us.
“Just because you aren’t the high school quarterback doesn’t make you a loser, Trent,” she said.
“You’re right, it doesn’t, but being some dorky shadow kid who doesn’t do anything does. You’ve really lowered your standards, and I hope you realize what you’ve given up,” Trent said.
“I gave up a man-child who treated me like garbage and instead picked up an amazing guy who makes me feel as special as I make him feel. I’d say that’s a great trade. Hell, I might even go buy a lotto ticket now!” she said, laughing a little.
Trent slammed his fist into a nearby locker before walking away. A few students snickered and told her good job before walking away.
“I’m sorry for not saying anything,” I said.
“It’s fine. It was my battle to fight, anyway,” she said, gathering her books from her locker.
“No, it’s not just your battle. It’s our battle. You’re my girlfriend, and your battles are my battles too. We fight together now,” I said.
“What did I ever do to deserve you?” she asked.
“You accepted me, and realized that being popular is a short-term status, while being happy is one that will last a lifetime,” I said.
“You know, if you keep talking like that to me, I’m just going to have to keep on kissing you,” she said, shrugging as if it were a bad thing.
“Then I better come up with some more material because those two times kissing you have been the best experiences of my life.”
“And here’s the third best,” she said, kissing me quickly before an aide saw.
Blushing, she turned and walked away to class as I stood at her locker and watched her turn around the corner. That girl, I tell you.
Chapter Eight
Days turned into weeks, and my relationship with Belle couldn’t have been getting any sweeter. We saw each other daily, she wasn’t shy about giving me affection, and the reaction from other people wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, most of them couldn’t care less about the daily lives of people they barely knew, and the ones who did say something didn’t say anything too bad. They were mostly just shocked that she chose me, but they got over it quickly. Even a couple of her friends were surprised, but I’d gotten to know them enough at the lunch table that I was accepted and it was left at that.
As I sat in Dr. Grier’s office, waiting for her to come in from talking to my mom, I thought about how far I’d come since I first started seeing her. I was a typical jaded, annoyed teenager who wanted nothing to do with her or therapy. Now I talked more openly, though there were still some subjects I didn’t want to speak about. I wasn’t sure if it was Belle that did this to me, but I liked it, and I wasn’t planning on stopping it.
“Okay, Theodore,” Dr. Grier said as she walked back inside.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“Everything is great. In fact, I have some great news for you. After today’s session, you won’t be coming in weekly anymore. You’ll go to once every two weeks, and from there you could even stop coming altogether,” she said.
“Wow, that sounds great! If you don’t mind me asking, is there any reason why?” I asked.
“I feel you’ve made significant progress from the first time you came here, and I’m not sure that you’ll truly benefit from meeting once every week. I’m very proud of you,” she said before picking up her notes.
Maybe things really were coming together for me. I could only imagine what things would be like when I was ready to stop coming altogether, and I was hoping that came sooner than later. It wasn’t anything against Dr. Grier, but I knew I could stand on my own two feet easier than she and my mother thought.
“So, tell me about your week, Theodore. Are you and Annabelle still going strong?” she asked.
“Yup, couldn’t be better,” I replied.
“That’s good to hear. Many times, when we begin to romantically date somebody who we already know, especially when we’ve known that person for quite some time, the relationships can be much stronger than ones where we don’t have that connection beforehand,” Dr. Grier said.
“I’d have to agree. Even though we didn’t talk for a while, it didn’t seem to matter. We picked up where we left off,” I said.
“I would attribute that to your strong childhood bond. You went through great and not-so-great times together when you were your youngest and most impressionable, and I think that has something to do with why you’re so great together now. You trust her, more than you do anybody else, and it shows,” she said.
She definitely wasn’t wrong, that was for sure. I thought being so close so early in life was some kind of strength for us. We knew that no matter what went wrong, we had each other, and when you’re a little kid, sometimes all you need is that kind of comfort and security.
The rest of the session went well, and Dr. Grier didn’t even bring up my father once. If anybody was making progress, it was her with that subject, which she just couldn’t seem to let alone before. When I came out of her office, my mother was patiently waiting as she read her Reader’s Digest as always.
“Done already?” she asked as she looked at her watch.
“Yes, we are. Theo here has made quite the comeback, if I do say so myself,” Dr. Grier said.
“Dr. Grier, you have Brian on line one,” the receptionist said.
“I have to take this. I’ll see you in two weeks,” she said, walking away.
I checked my phone to see Belle saying she had practice tonight, but that she wanted to talk to me later after she got home. I worried a little, since she didn’t say what about, but I just told her I’d be there and didn’t try to press her for anything else. My mother used to press my father about everything and look how that turned out. I didn’t want to lose Belle.
“Feel like tacos for dinner?” my mother asked as we left the office.
“Yeah, that sounds nice,” I replied.
“Okay. I need to stop by the store to get some things,” she said.
Traffic was horrible as we drove to the supermarket, which was packed right after work hours. We got a spot in the middle of the lot, my mom of course coming within inches of the other car and making it near impossible for me to get out. But when we got inside the store, I saw a familiar face.
“Martin!” I yelled, causing him to look.
