by R. M. Garcia
“You have to go,” Kelly urged.
“I haven’t had many prospects lately,” Abbie replied.
“Prom is months away,” Kelly assured. Then she added, “Some boy will ask you by then. You’re just too cute not to be asked.”
“Glad you think so, Kel,” Abbie replied. “Well, my first session with yummy gay bad boy Donnie is tomorrow. Let’s see how it goes.”
CHAPTER 4
The Dam
DONNIE SHOWED UP fifteen minutes early to the local coffee shop. He had gotten a call from Abbie earlier in the day with instructions to meet her there and what to bring. He had needed this time to mentally ready himself to concentrate only on learning and was hoping to stifle his attraction for her. He hated coffee and the smell of it, so this place was perfect. The smells were so repulsive; they would easily mask any sweet scents emanating from Abbie.
She arrived right on time and was surprised to see Donnie already there. She smiled and took a seat at the table he was sitting at and couldn’t help wonder what Donnie would be like. Was he in fact gay, or was he the bad boy? She was teeming with curiosity and could barely contain her wonder. She placed her teaching materials on the table and with hardly an upward glance at him began to speak. “OK, I need to go over a few rules with you first,” she began and added, “one, no refunds, so you better put in your part, or you wasted your money and my time.”
“Yes, I knew that already,” he answered and inwardly remembered how Mr. S had said that she was a no-nonsense type of girl. He could see it clearly now.
“Two, I don’t date any of my students,” she continued neither looking up nor changing the monotone tenor of her voice. “So if you’re using this as a ploy to get me to go out with you, just forget it.”
“I was aware of that already,” he answered again with a big broad smile on his face. “I’m here to learn.” Wow, he thought to himself he hadn’t even made a move, and she already shot him down. Misha had been wrong; this nut would have been impossible to crack.
“Good, I’m glad and three, if you put your part in, I promise you, I’ll teach you what you need to learn.” She extended her hand and asked, “Do we have a deal?”
“Yes, we do,” he replied and shook her hand. “Let’s get started. I’m ready.” For the briefest of moments while their hands touched, Abbie felt an odd sense of familiarity in his touch.
For the next three weeks, the pair got together for their biweekly sessions. They either took place at the coffee shop or the public library. Donnie kept his promise to himself and concentrated on the tutoring and not on Abbie. It was harder than he expected. She was so very easy to talk to. He found himself trusting her and found that he could talk to her about just anything, as if she had been a life long friend. Abbie also kept her word to teach him as best she could. He eagerly absorbed the studies and took the lesson plans seriously, and she really appreciated the effort he was putting forth. To her relief, she discovered that he was neither gay nor a hoodlum. She did find it strange how easily she could talk to him. They would often finish the lesson and then simply chat about virtually everything for hours afterward. She loved the way he would listen intently to anything she had to say. With the boundaries set and expectations firmly defined, their relationship as friends blossomed.
Donnie found that he was actually picking up on what Abbie was teaching. Her teaching skills were indeed extraordinary. Mr. S had been right about her being a good tutor. She discovered that Donnie was actually very smart and was surprised to find out that he had gotten math honors and was actually a mathlete. Over his entire school career, he had straight A’s in every math class and had scored perfectly on the math portion of his SAT. She also discovered that math was his major problem. Since history involved numbers, in the form of dates in time, his brain was essentially trying to solve history, looking at the date as a mathematical problem to be solved. He really couldn’t help it; it was simply the way his mind worked. So Abbie had to use a different technique; she had read about a teaching method used to teach small children by using images versus numbers. So she adopted these methods on him. It turned out to be exactly what he had needed. Slowly, the pictures representing a period of time started to sink in his head. By their seventh session, he was retaining everything he was being given to study. Now that he knew how to study for his history tests and how to retain and interpret the knowledge, his quiz scores began to rise from barely passing to almost perfect scores. He was going to pass history; there was no doubt from either of them at this point. For their seventh session, they met at the usual spot at the coffee shop.
“Abbie, I really want to thank you,” Donnie said. “You are an amazing tutor.”
“Thanks, Donnie, that really means a lot coming from you,” Abbie replied.
“Really, why’s that?” Donnie shifted forward and got just a little closer to Abbie.
“Because you’re really smart, smarter than me, I’m sure.”
Donnie chuckled at prospect. “Come on now. You are a lock for valedictorian or at least salutatorian. My grades are nowhere close to yours.”
“Yes, but that’s because you have a learning disorder. If it had been discovered earlier, I’m sure you would have been top of the class.”
Donnie expression changed to a perplexed look. “So I go from smarter than you to being retarded?”
Abbie could tell he was a bit annoyed by the comment. He had mistaken her meaning. “That’s not a nice word, and you know what I mean. You should really get tested. It might be a form of autism or savants.”
“So now I’m that rain guy. Wapner . . . Wapner . . .” he said mockingly.
“Stop being an ass! I’m serious, get tested. I think your IQ test results would be off the charts.”
Donnie leaned back in his chair and locked his fingers behind his head supporting its weight. “My dad had me tested once.”
“An IQ test really, what did you score?” Abbie asked excitedly.
Donnie shrugged as he answered, “Don’t know. I was eleven, and after I finished it, I was allowed to go play outside. I finished it as fast as I could. I remember that after I took it, Dad started teaching me calculus.”
Abbie was shocked that he had seemed so unimpressed by what he had just uttered. “Calculus at eleven? Donnie, do you know what that means?”
“I know that it caused many fights between my parents,” he replied. “Dad wanted me to take special classes and go to special schools, but Mom wanted me to have a normal childhood. I remember, vividly, some fierce arguments that they had about it.”
“Wow, really?”
“Yeah . . . Maybe I will go look at the test score. I’m pretty sure it’s in my dad’s office somewhere.” He did not see what the big deal was. He was good at math, a lot of people were.
“Well, I know who to go to if I need math tutoring.”
Donnie looked at Abbie and smiled. “What makes you think you could afford me? My varied services don’t come cheap.”
Abbie knew he was trying to pull her into one of his games. He was very good at twisting things you said to his advantage and was extremely fast to come up with responses. It was almost uncanny how well he could argue. She wished he had been on the debate team with her last year. She decided to play along this time. “Oh yeah, what types of services do you offer?”
“Well, not that you would be interested, but I am quite skilled in massages and foot rubs.”
“Oh, really, please continue. I’m intrigued now.”
Donnie laughed inside. He was trying to play it smooth and suave, but he was not Misha, and his game was not as tight as his. “I can also sing.” Poorly, he thought to himself.
“So you could be a rock star? I could see that.” Abbie could see he was struggling to come up with things to say now.
“There are also my incredible math skills. I could make a fortune tutoring.”
“Trust me, it’s not a way to make a living.”
“I would demand outrageous
prices and get them.” He was trying not to laugh at his own bullshit, but it was all in fun.
“So should I have charged you more then?” Abbie asked shrewdly.
“I definitely paid you less than you deserved.”
“Aw, thanks, Donnie.” Abbie liked how he was always so honest with his words, when he wasn’t trying to be like Misha, which reminded her that she wanted to ask him a question. Their conversation went back to the lesson plan at hand but inevitably drifted back to chitchat. The two were becoming good friends. He never expected to enjoy her company as much as he did, and even if she was not going to date him, he felt fortunate to have her as a friend
“Donnie, can I ask you something about Misha?” Abbie was confused by Donnie’s look; he seemed almost hurt by the question.
“Oh,” Donnie said and was utterly surprised. He had thought that she had no interest in boys. He had never caught her staring at anyone in particular male or female, so the sudden interest in his best friend caught him completely off guard. Why shouldn’t she be interested in him? He was Misha after all. “Sure, what do want to know?”
“You are such a nice guy. Why do you hang out with him? He’s a jerk.” She tried to hide her irritation, but she wasn’t sure if he picked up on it or not.
“Ah . . . Yup, that is an easy one.” Donnie was relieved, too many times growing up, he had liked a girl, and she would fall for Misha.
“Do tell then.” Abbie saw the tension in him fade away, and he answered.
“About a year ago, I went through a very bad time. It was the lowest point in my life. And he was the only one of my friends who stuck by me. No matter what, he never gave up on me, so I don’t give up on him now. I know how he may appear on the outside, but there is more to him than you know.”
Abbie could tell that whatever happened to him was serious. For the first time since they started tutoring, he became very somber. “So he’s a good friend?”
“Besides you and Mr. S, he’s my only friend.”
Abbie felt pity for him; she had many friends. She tried to imagine her world without them. She tried to give him some encouragement. “Oh, Donnie, come on, you have friends. I see you with people.”
“Yeah . . . I have my teammates, but outside of school, I don’t have anything to do with them.”
“Why, I don’t understand?”
Donnie looked into her big brown eyes and smiled. She wanted to help, but it just was not an easy fix. “It’s not that I don’t want friends. It’s just been easier to be without them. You can’t lose what you don’t have, right?”
Abbie didn’t understand. Why was he afraid of losing anyone? “Does it have anything to do with the courts?” Donnie looked at Abbie with a pained look. The mood changed instantly and became very tense. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, he began to talk again, “Yeah . . . that was the end result.” Abbie immediately realized she had hit on a touchy subject. Had she gone too far, he had been fine talking about everything else.
“Donnie, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to cross a boundary. Trista told me she saw you at the courthouse with an attorney her dad works with.”
“It’s fine. It was part of that time last year that rolled up into a mini hell.” This was going too far now; he was not ready to explore his feelings about his loss yet. He barely talked to Mr. S or Misha about it. He couldn’t do this, not now.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Abbie noticed that in his tension, Donnie was actually holding his breath. She wondered what horrible thing happened to him.
“No . . . I do not.” Donnie was struggling to hold back tears. A rush of emotions surged into him, and once again he found himself remembering that night in the hospital, the night his mother passed away, how she had begged him now to cry for her, and to be stronger than she was and take care of his father. He didn’t notice when he started to tremble, but Abbie did.
“Oh god, Donnie,” she said, placing her hand on his arm. “I know sometimes the past can be painful. I almost lost my mom last year and . . .” Donnie pulled back his hand and stood up.
“I’ll see you Sunday, right?” He grabbed his books and prepared to leave. Abbie could tell something she said deeply disturbed him. He was still shaking, and his tanned skin had turned a shade or two paler. He was holding back something.
“Sure, Donnie,” she said understandably and added, “but I have to tutor someone else at my house earlier that day.”
I don’t care, Donnie thought, I just need to get some air, but he managed to respond, “OK, but you always have other students. Why should that matter?”
“My dad picked up an extra shift at work, so I won’t have the car, so why don’t you come over? My mom’s a great cook, and you can have a warm meal as a bonus.” Abbie hoped her invitation would lower the tension. Donnie turned and began walking out.
“Yeah, that would good. I’ll see you on Sunday.” Donnie was near the exit when Abbie realized he didn’t know where she lived.
“Donnie, wait, you need the address. It’s kind of hard to find.”
“Text me” were his last words as he fled outside. He started the car and drove around the corner. His hands were trembling, and he was forced to pull over. He could no longer hold back the tears and simply let them flow.
While he was parked, he received a text from Abbie and realized what he had agreed to moments earlier. Dinner and parents, he was instantly terrified. The prospect of meeting Abbie’s parents seemed daunting. He had carefully avoided many intimate gatherings and parties. He was not sure if he was ready. Abbie had pushed him close to his breaking point today, and he felt comfortable around her. How would he fare with strangers? It was always the same someone would encroach on that boundary, asking him questions like: Where were you for a month, Donnie? Donnie, why don’t you hang out with anyone besides that letch Misha? Donnie, why do you have a social worker? Donnie, why did you look like a crackhead when you came back to school? Donnie, where is your mom? I haven’t seen her in a while. His emotional dam had many cracks, and every question added more water.
He was actually surprised that not more people knew what had happened to him. The truth had been that the school principal had ordered that chatter about what had happened to his family be kept to a bare minimum. Principal Stinson was a firm believer that a person’s private matters should remain private. So very few people knew about his tragic year, and those that did know had only to look into Donnie’s eyes to know he was not yet ready to move forward.
Donnie contemplated Abbie’s text as he was driving home. Feeling really nervous about Sunday, he decided to make a detour and visit his parents’ graves. It wasn’t too far out of the way, and the night air was refreshing. Within a few minutes, he had reached the cemetery. He parked his 1967 Volkswagen Karmann Ghia convertible and walked up to his parents’ burial sites. He had them laid to rest side by side as he was sure they would have liked that. When it came time to engrave their headstones, he had tried to be as poetic as possible. He had agonized over the wording both times. Each time, the caretaker assured him the words were beautiful and a fine epitaph to them both.
Muna Guerrero-Sunshadow
Beloved wife and mother
She brought us light when it was darkest
She brought us joy when we were sad
She brought us hope when we were afraid
Now without her the world seems darker, sadder, and scarier
Ernesto Miguel Guerrero Garcia
Beloved husband and father
He never looked back, only forward
He never treated anyone without respect
He never loved anything more than his family
From your example, I hope to show love and respect for those I care for
And will always look forward to the path to come.
Donnie cleared a few twigs and leaves off their graves. He read the plaques and said a silent prayer to each of them in their respected faiths and then headed home. The words on the st
ones somehow always gave him strength. So he decided he would indeed go to Abbie’s house on Sunday. After all, they were just friends. She was just tutoring him, and he doubted that they would ask too many questions. He could handle that and convinced himself that Abbie’s parents would probably want him out of the house as soon as possible. He would get his lesson out of the way as soon as humanly possible and be on his way. Everything would be just fine.
Donnie arrived at Abbie’s house on Sunday afternoon a few minutes late. Abbie had been right about that house being hard to find, so he had gotten a little lost. Abbie walked out of the house to greet him when he arrived. “You’re late,” she said as she placed her hand on her hip and gave him that familiar crooked little smile.
“Sorry, I got a little lost,” he replied. “It’s a dark street. I think I passed the house twice before I figured out which one it was.”
“I figured, so that’s why I turned on the porch light,” Abbie said and added, “so you could find my home. Now come on in.” Donnie paused for a moment because of her words. He quickly dismissed it and entered the house. The house was an old two-story Tudor that probably dated back to colonial times. It was well maintained despite its age. It was indeed a beautiful home.
“Wow! This is a nice house, Abbie.” Donnie wondered how his mother would have decorated this house had they lived here. “I like it.”
“Thanks, Donnie, now let me introduce you to my mom.” She turned and yelled out for her mother, “Mom! Donnie is here!” A woman walked out of the kitchen through a swinging door. She was wiping her hands on a towel as she approached and then looked up. When she set eyes on Donnie, her eyes went wide, and she opened up her arms and began to approach him with the clear intention of hugging him. Disaster, this was a nightmare come true for him. He truly was mortified; his eyes widened in stark horror, as if some monster were now advancing on him. She continued to close the short distance between them.
“Donnie, quit acting like a freak! It’s just my mom.” Abbie was pissed! It could not be helped, Donnie thought. I need to get out of here! He continued to back up until his back bumped into the front door. He looked around quickly to see which way the door opened, fully intending to open the door and make a run for his car. When he glanced back up, Abbie’s mother had reached him. Without as much as a word or warning, she hugged him fiercely!
