by J D Abbas
“It is not time for you to join them yet, Mishon. You have many more years here on Qabara and a destiny that is your own. They do not want you to join them until you have completed your journey.”
“But…” The boy’s chin quivered as he struggled to hold back his tears. “I don’t want to be alone.”
The master’s expression softened. “There are many here who have had to walk this lonely road. Elena’s parents recently died, and she has been separated from the rest of her family. Mikaelin’s parents were taken from him when he was only eight. Celdorn and Elbrion both lost their entire families many years back.” He gestured toward each one as he spoke. “No one can walk your road for you, but many can come alongside and help to ease the loneliness.”
Mishon looked at Elena, as if trying to grasp what Yaelmargon was saying. As his tears spilled, Elena wrapped her arms around him, longing to ease the pain she felt crushing his tiny heart. His parents had been as profoundly good as hers had been evil. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to grieve the loss of such love and protection. How vulnerable he must now feel in this world.
“Your father was right, Mishon, it wasn’t your place to protect your mother. It was your responsibility to obey her, and you did,” she whispered to him. “You are also not to blame for sending your father into danger. He had to do as he did. You couldn’t have stopped him.”
Mishon pulled back and looked at her. “How do you know what happened?”
She wanted to be forthright with this boy; he deserved the truth. “When you embraced me, I saw and felt many things.”
Mishon stared at her. “Do you… do you know how they died?”
Elena returned his gaze. “Yes, I saw it.” A lump formed in her throat.
“Do you know what they were thinking before they… went away?” he whispered.
Tears streamed down Elena’s face as she nodded.
“Please tell me.”
“They were thinking of you, Mishon,” Elena whispered. “Their hearts cried out with love for you, longing for you to hear them. They begged Qho’el to strengthen and protect you and to heal your heart, which they knew would be broken. They loved you dearly.”
“I heard them.” His body heaved in her arms. “I know you speak the truth because I heard their words inside me.”
The men standing around them were fighting back tears as they watched Elena comforting Mishon until his little body finally collapsed, exhausted from the ordeal. She lifted him in her arms and suggested they take him to Elbrion’s room to lie down.
Charaq stepped forward and took him from her arms. “I will care for him.”
The other men from Greenholt, who had waited for him on the balcony, joined him at the top of the stairs.
After the boy was gone, Elena turned into Celdorn’s arms sobbing. The feelings she had absorbed from the boy threatened to undo her.
When the emotions subsided, she said, “Mishon’s road and mine are so different. He has never been alone and has known nothing but love. How will he endure the loneliness? I, on the other hand, have finally found what has always been absent.” She pulled back and looked at each of the men surrounding her. “Thank you for walking this part of my journey with me. I welcome your company,” she added with a grateful smile.
“Do you realize what you just did?” Yaelmargon asked.
Elena looked at him, puzzled.
“You not only sensed Mishon’s emotions. You were able to go to that time and place and observe the events,” the master said. “What happened when he touched you?”
Elena stopped to consider. “I felt horrific pain move through my body, from my heart outward.” Her brow furrowed. “I assume I was feeling the torture his mother and father endured before their deaths, as well as the emotional torment of the whole family. An entire series of events flashed through my mind when Mishon embraced me. I could see and hear the things as they happened. I could even hear their thoughts…” Her voice faded as she realized the implication of her words. Fear rose in her heart as she looked at the master.
“It is your gifting, Elena,” he said softly. “When I see another’s memories, I can only see and feel what they experienced. But with you, it was as if you were transported to that time and place and observed the event from many perspectives, as well as being able to see and hear what was internally happening with each one.”
“I thought perhaps I spoke those words to Mishon because they were what he longed to hear, not because I actually heard them, but…”
Yaelmargon waited as she followed the thought through. “But he confirmed what you heard.”
“I don’t like this gift, Master. It’s… agonizing.” She turned and looked at Mikaelin. “This is like what happened to you when you touched me and took my wounds. No wonder you collapsed.”
Mikaelin gazed at her with tenderness, a soft smile on his lips.
“But you did not collapse,” Yaelmargon pointed out. “You absorbed the pain of many people, and you stood your ground. You have great fortitude, Elena.”
She looked toward the balcony as Sasha nuzzled under her arm. “He has such a long and torturous road ahead of him. I felt his pain, but, unlike Mikaelin, I couldn’t heal it or take it away; if anything, I added to it by crushing the hope that his mother lived on inside me.” She hugged Sasha close. “He will continue to carry these agonizing losses in his tender heart. I pray it doesn’t harden or break him.”
Chapter 55
Celdorn braced himself for the conclusion of Qalam’s report.
“How is Mishon?” he asked Charaq before proceeding with the other business.
“He’s resting. The encounter with Elena was tumultuous for him. He was so certain that his mother had returned. I imagine it was like losing her all over again.” Charaq tugged at his beard and frowned. “We have tried to explain death, but he is so young he can’t quite comprehend. I think not seeing their bodies and having no opportunity to say goodbye made it hard for his little mind to accept the reality.”
“It is difficult enough when one is grown,” Celdorn replied, his mind shifting to another time. With a heavy sigh, he turned to Qalam. “Are you ready to continue?”
Charaq interrupted. “With your permission, Celdorn, I will relate the events from this point. It is unfair to lay this burden on Qalam.”
The younger Guardian blew out a relieved breath.
Charaq patted Qalam’s shoulder then leaned forward in his seat. “I was able to get out of the caves with Borham’s youngest two daughters, but as we waited for Borham to find his wife and oldest daughter, we heard their cries and knew they had been captured.” Charaq’s face was set in stone as he went on to tell of Amia’s death and his race through the dark with Sarana. His composure broke when he spoke of Sarana’s reunion with Mishon and how the two clung to each other. Celdorn swallowed hard as the image played in his mind.
“I didn’t want to leave them, but I knew the longer we waited the less chance we had of rescuing Borham and Shekalia,” Charaq said. “The Ilqazar helped us to maneuver the rocky trails in the dark. With their assistance, we had men throughout the hills and completely surrounding the caves and the clearing before daybreak. We moved in, eliminating every man in our path. My only request was Zolero be brought to me alive.
“After searching the caves, we were able to rescue eighty-five children, who are now being sheltered in the bailey at Greenholt until we can secure homes for them. Borham and Shekalia were not in the caves. We later discovered their remains in the fire outside the main entrance, led there by Zolero, who proudly told me they had been dismembered while they were still alive then burned, and that the men had greatly enjoyed passing the eldest daughter around while her parents watched.
“He seemed to think he had nothing to fear, that somehow he was going to be rescued and have the last laugh. He wasn’t laughing when I beat him to death.” Charaq’s voice and expression had turned icy. “I must confess, however, that although it was a great r
elease for the helplessness and rage I felt, it ultimately did little to relieve my anguish.”
Charaq hung his head. “We found Amia about an hour later. It appeared she’d struck her head on a rock when she landed, most likely killing her instantly. I found more relief in holding her tiny body and weeping out my rage than my fists could ever have produced.” Tears rolled freely down his weary face, and he made no attempt to hide or wipe them away. It was his tribute to the value of the lives they had lost.
“The only one we never found was the giant who looked like death’s emissary. Somehow he eluded us. We set up posts throughout the caves and in the surrounding area in the event others showed up after our initial cleansing. They had eliminated another twenty men by the time we departed for Kelach.
“I left Adaqam in charge of the keep in my absence. I felt it was necessary to speak with you in person, Celdorn, or I would not have abandoned them.”
“Do not fear; it was the right choice,” Celdorn assured him.
Charaq nodded his thanks. “The only other thing I find necessary to report is that the night Borham was captured we sent for assistance from Wharndon since they are the closest Guardian stronghold, but we received no response. I haven’t had opportunity to pursue it further, but I have a great sense of unease when I look to the north. It may be due to all that has transpired, but I offer it to you for whatever it’s worth.”
Celdorn was quiet for some time pondering all that had been shared. Then something occurred to him. “Charaq, I’m confused. If you rescued Borham’s middle daughter, how is it that Mishon has come to be alone?”
The castellan’s face darkened, and from across the table, Celdorn felt the pain that stabbed his heart. “Sarana wasn’t able to manage the loss of her family nor the tremendous guilt she felt for protecting herself but not Amia when we stumbled upon the guards. She had also witnessed and suffered terrible assaults during her captivity but refused to let any of our healers help her. Three days after her rescue, she climbed to the top of our highest tower and threw herself onto the rocks below.” He paused to clear his throat. “We then had to inform Mishon of yet another loss. It was more than I could bear. I don’t know how he endures.” Charaq put his face in his hands and said no more.
Celdorn swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat. “I need some time to contemplate what Charaq and Qalam have reported. We will break for a meal and reconvene in two hours. You may either eat here or with your men, whichever you prefer.” He squeezed Charaq’s shoulder before leaving the room.
Celdorn moved to the terrace in search of Elena, concerned for her after what had transpired with Mishon. She was in the garden below, sitting between Mikaelin and Silvandir with Sasha’s head in her lap. Surrounded by those who loved her, he thought with a smile.
~
It wasn’t the encounter with Mishon that consumed Elena’s thoughts as she sat in the garden stroking Sasha’s ears, but the events of the previous night. The image of what Mikaelin must have seen played over and over in her mind. And now Silvandir knew as well. He had been shocked, almost horrified, by her confession. Of course he was. She had seduced his beloved mentor and leader.
When Celdorn came out onto the balcony, Elena turned, immediately sensing his presence. Images of his naked body flashed through her mind, and she looked away, engulfed in shame, as he descended the stairs.
Celdorn stopped in front of the bench and gazed down at her with a soft smile. “How are you, little one?”
“Confused.” She couldn’t meet his eyes as the heat rose in her cheeks. “So many things have happened in such a short time, I’m reeling, trying to find my balance again.” Elena glanced at Silvandir and Mikaelin, but they were staring straight ahead, as if to give her privacy as she spoke with Celdorn. Or perhaps they too were embarrassed and longed to be somewhere else. She hugged Sasha’s head to her chest, wanting to hide.
“I’m sorry for putting you in the middle of things with Mishon. I was merely trying to find a place for him while Charaq met with us. I had no idea that would happen.”
“How could you have known unless you can now foresee the future? As far as I am aware, none of us has that gifting—as yet, anyway.” Elena smiled and glanced up briefly. “I don’t regret that it happened. I was honored to meet Mishon, though I grieve for him. He is fortunate to have Charaq; he loves him dearly and will be a father to him and guide him in the development of his own gifts—which are strong.”
Celdorn studied her with a frown. “Perhaps one of us does see the future. How do you know these things?”
Elena squirmed; it felt like she had snakes inside her skin. “I don’t know, Celdorn. Many things entered into me when Mishon touched me. I have been trying to make sense of what I saw and heard. In all of the pieces that bombarded me, I believe there were some that have not yet happened. I think I saw images of Mishon as a grown man.” She wrapped her arms around her head. “I don’t know what I saw. It all just feels crazy to me.”
“You are perfectly sane, little one.” Celdorn squatted down in front of her, next to Sasha, and eased her hands from the dog’s head. Elena refused to meet his gaze. “Strange things have happened, but they aren’t in your mind. They are very real.”
“But that’s what feels so insane. I have a dream about a darkness consuming the valley, and the next thing we know Toreno is dead, and some strange creatures are attacking Rhamal and Dussendor. Then I have some sort of vision about lionesses and suddenly there are real ones attacking the keep. Add to that the time I shifted and knocked Yaelmargon to the ground then transported us to a place that no longer exists in time and space but is merely a memory of ancient days. Ahhh!” Elena pulled at her hair in frustration. “When I listen to myself, it sounds like I’m describing an evil sorceress rather than me.”
Celdorn gripped her hands and stopped her from tugging at her hair. “We have certainly seen things that have stretched our minds to new limits, but I know that you are not evil, little one. I know it with every fiber of my being.”
Tears filled Elena’s eyes when she finally met his gaze. “Even after what I did to you?” Then, glancing awkwardly at Mikaelin and Silvandir, she blushed and pulled Sasha closer, laying her forehead on the dog’s head, wishing she could escape inside.
Celdorn cupped her head with both of his hands and lifted it. His eyes met hers and a warm smile spread across his face. “With every fiber of my being.”
~
Back in Celdorn’s chambers, Yaelmargon approached Elbrion. “May I speak with you privately?”
“Certainly.” Elbrion led him through the antechamber into his room. When he had closed the door, he directed the master to a chair by the fireside then sat across from him and waited.
“Can you tell me what you have learned about Elena’s internal world?”
A prickle of warning skittered up Elbrion’s spine. “I have learned many things. What do you wish to know?”
“I have seen her memories, but I have not deliberately walked around inside. From things that have been spoken, I assume you have.”
“Many times now. What information do you seek, Master?”
“Tell me how it appears when you enter.”
Elbrion pushed aside his mistrust and paused to consider. “Elena has an amazingly organized internal structure. Though I have ended up in various places at different times, I am beginning to understand its overall design,” he explained. “One enters through a set of double doors into a spacious vestibule. Three widely-spaced doors lead to separate hallways. I have only entered the corridor on the right, which is where most of her earliest childhood memories are stored and the innocent ones reside. The middle hall contains the bulk of her sexual memories and is home to the darker ones. I do not know anything about the third corridor other than a great sense of evil emanates from behind that door. There is a lower level where memories and images of a torture chamber are found. Screams continually rise from that place.” Elbrion suppressed a shiver. �
��Does that answer your question sufficiently?”
Yaelmargon nodded, deep in thought. “Yes, thank you for your help.” Holding his lower back, he eased his way out of the chair.
“You are most welcome.” Elbrion rose and gave a slight bow. As the master turned to leave, Elbrion gripped his arm to stop him. “Master, as you know, I am fairly new at being a father…” He cleared his throat. “And I cannot help but feel protective for my daughter. May I ask why you wanted this information?”
Yaelmargon’s brows arched. “I assure you I mean her no harm, my prince.” He laid his hand on Elbrion’s shoulder. “I have much to ponder and do not wish to speak prematurely, but I have a sense of what dwells behind the third door.”
Chapter 56
When Celdorn was ready to proceed with the evening council, he asked Elena to join them so that Silvandir and Mikaelin could participate in the decisions that needed to be made. After her humiliation in the practice arena, she was reluctant. Celdorn understood. He was furious when he found out how the men from Marach had treated her, and he promised they would be disciplined.
Celdorn assured Elena the meeting would not focus on her but on a plan for capturing Anakh and her allies. He allowed her to sit by the fireside with Sasha instead of at table. With that stipulation, she reluctantly agreed.
As the men settled into their seats, Celdorn noticed that Shatur had taken him seriously and acquired ample supplies of both ale and wine, which most of the men were enjoying. The conversation was friendly but subdued.
“What a strange and difficult week this has been,” Celdorn began. “On the first day of the week, after the death of Yadar Toreno, the men from Kelach faced the Zakad in Rhamal; the next day these same illusive creatures attacked Dussendor; on the following, the lionesses first appeared in Elena’s mind, attempting to destroy Elbrion and her; midweek the emissaries from Dussendor arrived with grave news; the next day presented a series of bizarre attacks in the keep followed by the arrival of those from Marach with the most amazing gift of Yaelmargon. As we tried to deal with the aftermath of one attack, Anakh and the other Rahima made an open attempt to kill Elena. All of this culminating today with the arrival of those from Greenholt bearing the news of Borham’s death and other gruesome tidings.” Celdorn rose and walked the length of the table.
