by Elle Harte
I couldn’t stop feeling the rush of endorphins, when he kissed the crotch of my panties, and stopped. He looked at me, and ran a hand over my thigh, slowly, going all the way up. His hands reached my blouse and unbuttoned it to expose my breasts. He nibbled gently along the surface of the fabriclong I’, teasing with his teeth, until I could feel my nipples getting erect. He lowered the bra from both sides, exposing my skin, and started sucking on my breast, his tongue, working my nipple, his free hand fondling the other side. I could feel his fingers, flicking the sensitive skin, gently teasing, his tongue driving me wild at the same time.
There was no way I could be in control after that.
I was moaning now, running my hands through his hair, grasping at anything. Feeling the pressure build inside me, waiting to overflow. He didn’t even know how I’d longed for him. He didn’t know how much I had to leave behind, how many things I had to give up, so I could be here. But I never had to think twice. When it came to Callum, every sacrifice was worth it.
He reached under my skirt and his fingers barely grazed me, but the sensation was strong enough to make me near-coming. He grabbed the waist of my panties, and lowered them, removing them completely. He removed my skirt, and tossed both things on the floor.
He gently pried my legs apart. I felt his finger, lightly touching the outer lips, prying them open, and his tongue flicked over my clit, a few times, teasing, I could feel myself getting wet, and it was disconcerting to know that he knew. It’s strange how I could never hide from him. Even if I tried to stay calm, my body would always betray me.
Callum was using his tongue, more passionately now, and I was moaning, louder and moving my hips. He was still gripping my legs, spreading them apart, as he dove his tongue deeper. My breathing became heavy and ragged, and I lost sense of everything. I must have come a half a dozen times at least. He stopped at last, and stripped, and I saw his cock, familiar and like old times, like everything about him and this encounter. He walked up to me, and I was still on my back, needing this more than ever, wanting to reach the pinnacle.
I started stroking his cock, slowly first, and then I increased my pace when I saw he was getting excited. “You want my cock, Jess?”
I nodded playfully.
He reached into his jeans pocket, that lay on the floor, and fished out a condom. He unwrapped it and slid it over his cock. “I want to fuck you, so you forget everything,” he said, and gestured to the bed. “Go on all fours. Let me see that ass.”
I positioned myself on all fours, and I felt the heavy feeling of embarrassment, but I never stopped. I was so aroused right then, I would have done anything to let him fuck me.
He placed his hands on my butt, spreading me apart, my pussy leaking juices, and when he guided his cock from behind, I gripped the bedsheet, and he started pounding into me. “I can tell your pussy has been missing me,” Callum said, his dirty words spurring my passion.
He grasped my hips when the thrusts became harder and faster. I knew he was close, and I could feel him making those grunts and the swearing increased. I was getting hornier and hornier as Callum started humiliating me with abusive words and I started replying accordingly. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I felt Callum’s hand around my breasts, when he lowered his face near mine and I turned back a little, to kiss him as we continued fucking.
He was being rougher now, and I was enjoying it. His strokes were much faster, and I was loving it nonetheless. He put his finger inside my mouth, which I sucked on while we fucked each other’s brains out. I sucked the joint between his thumb and index finger, sucking on it, while he pounded me deeper and deeper. I lost count of how many times I came.
Suddenly he stopped pounding me and asked me to lie on my back. I obeyed, loving the way I submitted to him when he held my leg near the knee and I stretched the other wide. His cock was back in my pussy and I felt him placing a hand on my ankle. Then I placed another hand on his thigh while he pounded me with rough strokes. I gave a loud moan. I felt my pussy becoming sorer by the minute, from the fucking. But my mind never asked me to stop. I started stroking his chest using my foot which was near his chest. He was moaning too, though a little less loud than me. Finally, he leaned in and started kissing me hard. I gripped his hair and started sucking his tongue. He broke the kiss. “Fuck, Jess!”
I knew what that meant. And I was right.
Within seconds, he was grunting and tensing his body, increasing his pace and I felt him shake when he came. He was even louder then.
Afterward, we lay spent on the bed, next to each other.
“I missed you, Callum.” I got tears in my eyes. He came closer to me and took me in his arms. It felt nice. It felt like something I’d been needing all this time.
He pulled me closer until I could hear his heart, beating away softly in his firm chest. “Jess, I missed you too, why do you think I asked you to come over?” he said. “I’m miserable without you.”
I closed my eyes.
Even if it was a lie I wanted to believe it.
We Are One to Be
I don’t know when the tears started flowing.
Everything, it was just so overwhelming.
The storm, and Callum, together made for a confusing mix. And of course Callum came over and hugged me, like nothing had changed between us, like everything was the same.
It was the same.
It didn’t feel unnatural when he started to run his hand through my hair, or tried to console me. “Everything will be fine, I promise.”
Why did he have to say that?
He kissed me on my forehead. I broke away from him and looked up. Instead of stopping, he kissed me, long and hard, passionately like we always did. I never stopped him.
I don’t care what happens next, just please let me have this.
Seeing him without his clothes that morning, it’s like he looked hotter than before, more ripped, and muscular than I remembered. I felt his chest underneath the palms of my hand, and it was firm. His hands glided across my body in a familiar rhythm. It was strange, but I almost felt ashamed. He put his finger to my chin and lifted it, and kissed me again.
He then broke off, and stood, helped me up. “Let’s take it to the bedroom.”
I was about to walk toward the door, when he grabbed me from behind, and pulled me back into him. His breathe grazed the skin of my neck. “Wait,” he whispered, and I was still wondering what he was doing, when he lifted me up and moved me to the bedroom. He gently set me down on the bed and traced his finger up the seam of my pants. I slowly shimmied my pants off taking the underwear with it. He positioned himself between my legs and kissed my stomach while he toyed with my newly exposed love button. I responded immediately, a gentle moan and fingers in his hair. A trail of kisses led him to my warm, wet, pussy. Like a man obsessed, he dove into it, kissing, suckling, and slurping. Lifting my hips, he rubbed his tongue along my inner walls and I responded by grinding on his face.
“You taste so good, baby.”
“Callum…”
He didn’t respond, just resumed what he was doing and wrapped his lips around my clit, flicking the very end with his tongue. I was shaking hard and almost pushed off of him. He hardened his grip and explored deep inside me with generous finger strokes.
“I need you Callum,” I said, without thinking. I was grasping at blankets and moaning louder. He switched up his pace, not letting me adjust. He switched from plunging his tongue into me and rubbing me from the inside, to intricate flicks and nudges to my heightened pleasure. It was only a few minutes before the rush of my first orgasm hit.
He finally stopped and came up. “I missed you Jess,” he said. “I missed us. The way you smell, I can never get over it. It’s like an aphrodisiac.”
He took off his pants, and stood in front of me. Naked. Looking that way, I almost averted my eyes, but I seemed to be stuck on him. He pushed me down playfully, pulled off my shirt and bra, letting my breasts go free. Cupping one he traced
the nipple with his tongue stopping to rub the nipple gently with a thumb, the other hand still buried in my wet pussy. My head leaned back, and the moans intensified. "Your body is so perfect, and you taste so good." I needed to hear these words. I needed to know that someone wanted me above all things, and I knew he did.
The head of his cock pressed to my puffed lips, and between my flowing juices and the excited precum his entrance came with a clean smooth thrust. He leaned forward and nibbled my earlobe and moved down to where my jaw met my neck. The gentle pressure of his teeth on my neck with push of the second deep thrust triggered a chain reaction of intense pleasure. We shared another deep kiss while we got into a familiar yet exciting rhythm.
He started going harder and faster, and we both came.
When he lay panting right next to me, I was getting strangely emotional. I didn’t want to be that girl who cried after having sex, but there I was, completely crying uncontrollably and Callum was clearly concerned. “Jess, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know.”
“Jess, you can tell me.”
“I don’t feel like we did something wrong,” I said. “What’s wrong with me?”
He took me in his arms and kissed my forehead. “Jess. Life is complicated. You can’t think about every mistake as something you have to hold on to forever. You can’t punish us both.”
“I wanted to be over you.”
“So, did I.”
“And?”
“Jess, I disappointed you. I broke your heart. For a long time, I thought I was cursed because when you left, it was like I wasn’t that person anymore, who said all those things. I’ve been away from happiness for so long, I don’t want to be anymore. We’re not getting any younger.”
“We’re not?”
He laughed. Kissed me again, on the same place. “I love you, Jess.”
I hugged him back, but I didn’t think I could say it back.
Fortunately, he was fast asleep before he noticed.
The Price of Christmas
I woke up in the middle of the night.
It was almost close to morning.
I pulled myself out of Callum’s hold, and went to the bathroom to relieve myself and check on my drunken face. My makeup was a mess. Mascara everywhere, rogue lipsticks stains, and eyeshadow where blush should have been. let’s face it, I wasn’t about to win awards for being classy, anytime soon and I was okay with that. by the time I came out, I couldn’t see Callum anywhere, but I could hear sounds coming from the kitchen, and the smell of…scrambled eggs.
In the breakfast bar, I let him kiss me on the cheek, and bring me a plate of eggs with toast and coffee. “There’s no power so I couldn’t use the coffee machine,” he said. “So, I made instant, I hope it’s not too bad.”
I took a sip, carefully. It wasn’t that hot, but it wasn’t bad. “It’s fine. Thanks.”
It took me a while to taste the eggs, but they weren’t bad either. All the time I was sitting there, on the bar, I felt agitated. There were things going through my mind now, that hadn’t when I was in bed with him. Things like the day he said those things to me and broke my heart. Mostly the fact that he was ‘in love with her.’ No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t push it out of my head.
He reached into his pocket and brought out a velvet pouch. He opened it and held it up for me to see. There was a glittery object inside it, and upon further investigation it was a silver bracelet. “What’s this?”
“I got this made when I came back from New York last year,” he showed me the design. “I told them to write both our names.”
I don’t think I could believe something like that, so I grabbed the bracelet from him and checked. Sure enough, that inscription was right there. JESS AND CALLUM. Right underneath the names it said, “We were always meant to be.”
My agitation turned to plain anger. “What is this, Callum?”
He took the bracelet from me and placed it around my forearm and used the clasp to tighten it against my wrist. “Jess I was in a bad place. Mom wasn’t speaking to me and Dad pretty much disowned me. I felt so lost and I didn’t know what to do. So, I tried to fix it by pushing you away. The one person whom I loved more than anything in the world, Jess.”
“You left because you wanted to run.”
“I left because I was stuck in Blizzard, Jess. It had nothing to do with you.”
“Nonetheless you ran!”
“I know,” he said. “And ever since I’ve been trying to tell you this, I’ve been waiting for the right moment to tell you that I want us to be together. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, Jess. No woman in this life can come close to being you. I can’t be without you anymore, I can’t do it.”
I don’t know how much but a long length of time went by as I thought about what to say to him in response. Right that minute, the power came back on.
The room was bathed in soft lights.
The TV came on.
Per the reports, the storm outside had subsided.
“Let’s face it, Jess. We will never love anyone else. It’s you and me. It always has been. Or else you would have found someone. I would have found someone too, but it will never happen. If we don’t give this thing a chance, we’ll always regret it. We’ll always keep trying to do something that we don’t want to do. We’ll be forcing ourselves to be with people we don’t truly love.”
I started to cry. “Callum. I’m sorry… but I can’t.”
I tried to control my tears.
“Jess…”
“Please leave.”
I don’t look at his face because I knew it was going to be hard to take my eyes off him if I did. I heard the door open and heard him stepping outside into the insane cold. I had spent so much time being alone, I was afraid to allow myself to have anything resembling a relationship. But that was fine because at least I would be safe.
You’re kidding yourself, Jess.
The only safe is with him, in his arms.
The Boy in the Castle was sad.
The Way You Break a Heart
Life happened.
New York was not an easy place to survive in, and in the beginning, we struggled to find jobs, and even when we did, life became a series of jobs, paydays, bills, and in there somewhere, we would sneak in time to be a couple. I truly thought we were okay. I was very low maintenance, I never despised our money situation or the ridiculously tiny apartment, because it seemed that was my life, and it was better than being without Callum, anywhere.
Until I came home that night from working two jobs, and he was angry. The minute I stepped inside, I was greeted by a plate flying dangerously close to my head and landing on the wall next to me, shattering loudly into bits.
I knew that look. The sadness in his eyes, the loneliness. Even though I was around, he was miles away, a total stranger. I knew our life wasn’t perfect, but is life ever? Wasn’t that the whole point? I didn’t understand his unhappiness.
“Callum—”
“I can’t keep doing this anymore,” he said.
“Keep doing what?”
“You’re fucking clueless,” he said, and I wasn’t expecting it. He had expressed anger before, he had expressed concern over money troubles, but never this way. He never attacked me like this before.
“We’ve barely been here two years,” I said.
“Two fucking years, is nothing to you?”
“I don’t know what you want from me, Callum.”
“That’s just it, Jess. You don’t know anything.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He was quiet for a really long time. “I don’t even know if I should be saying this.”
My heart was running at a million miles per second. Something wasn’t right, and I knew it. Maybe I’d known it before, I just hadn’t been able to face it. I should have noticed. I should have seen the signs. The late nights, the distance, the rebuke.
“I think I’m in love with someone else,” he said.
“She’s just, cultured, and exciting. I never get bored of her. I feel like we’re a good match.”
He was still going on.
There was no way I could stay with him after that.
I stated packing my bags, and he kept stopping me. “Jess, don’t do it this way. Please. We’re more than a couple, you know that. I’m not going to let you leave this way! Let me help.”
That’s when I finally looked up and faced him. “We’re nothing, now, Callum. You’re saying you’re in love with someone who you haven’t even slept with! Don’t you realize what you’re doing? Does she even know how you feel? Has she reciprocated? What you’re feeling, isn’t love for goodness sake! For all your cultured, enlightened brain, you sure are dumb Callum!”
“You don’t know anything, Jess.”
It was then that I decided, there was no way to correct his delusion. The only way to find out if he was right or wrong, would be to let him play this game. If he thinks he can handle losing me, then great. I’ll live the rest of my life, wondering if I was ever worth it.
