by Woods, Karen
Helen chewed on her lips and she stood thinking for a second and piped up again. “Well I want some answers. I shouldn’t be in here.”
Susie bolted up from the bed, she’d heard enough. “Listen you fat twat, you was nicking drugs from Tim to start with, if you would have kept you’re thieving fingers still you wouldn’t be in here, so there is only yourself to blame, is that not right.” Susie tilted her head to the side and gritted her teeth together.
Helen knew she was right and backed down. “I’m just saying that’s all,” she moaned.
Both women left their pad to go for breakfast. Susie hadn’t made any effort to brush her hair or even have a wash, she looked a mess. Walking down the landing she looked at each of the inmates and shook her head. “I shouldn’t be in here me, look at what I’m having to mix with, they’re a load of scumbags.”
Helen held her head back and laughed out loud. “Who the fuck, do you think you are? You better take your head from up your arse, and give it a shake. These women are probably like us, just out to earn a few quid. Don’t judge people who you know fuck all about? I bet they are all decent women if you gave them half a chance.”
Susie creased her lips and lifted her head high. “Fuck off, never in a million years am I mixing with these trollops. I’m fed up, not hard up, who needs friends anyway?”
Helen smiled as they passed the group of women stood chatting at the top of the staircase. “Alright ladies,” she chuckled as she walked past them.
The inmates smiled at Helen and nodded their head in acknowledgement of her friendship. “Yep, smashing,” one prisoner shouted back.
“See,” Helen whispered as she grabbed Susie’s arm. “That’s all it takes, we need all the friends we can get while we’re in here. The last thing we need is to start making enemies.”
“Well you can talk to them if you want. I’m keeping my distance, imagine seeing them when I’m out of jail, fuck that. What happens in jail stays in jail. I’m flying solo, me, love.”
Helen sat eating her breakfast. Her knife and fork were clashing together as she devoured it. Susie was playing with her food and just picked at it. A hand came over her body and a fork could be seen digging into her bacon. Lifting her head up she scowled, as she watched Helen clear the remaining food from her plate. Susie screwed her face up and pushed the food to Helen’s side. “Here, you fucking gannet, fucking hell, don’t you have any shame?” Helen slid the plate to the side of her and emptied the remaining food onto her own pile of food. Not stopping for breath she scranned every last remaining piece of food in front of her. “Fat bastard,” Susie muttered.
Once breakfast was over Susie had an appointment with the doctor. The authorities knew she was pregnant now and they were making sure she got all the medical attention she needed. Standing to her feet she could see Jane over the other side of the room, she was waving her hand at her. The sound of chair legs being scraped along the floor could be heard as most of the prisoners were setting off to face another day behind prison walls. It was bang up for those inmates who didn’t work or weren’t in any kind of education. Helen had started an arts course and found out that she really had a talent for drawing. She’d copied a photo of her son and even the tutor said it was amazing.
Jane was soon by Susie’s side. Her voice was low. “I’ve had a chat with my husband,” she whispered. “I need to speak to you as soon as possible.”
Susie smiled; she could tell the screw had some good news for her. “Yeah I’ve just got to go to the medical unit first, though.”
Jane looked excited. “Can I come with you? I’ll just tell the staff that you don’t want to go on your own. I’m your personal officer after all aren’t I, so there shouldn’t be any problem?”
“Come on then,” Susie smiled, “I don’t want to be late.” Helen watched them leave and started to mingle with the other inmates. With a wave of her hand she watched Susie and Jane leave the canteen area.
Susie and the screw walked down the long corridor. When they reached the waiting area Susie told the receptionist she was there. Lots of chairs were across the back wall and other pregnant inmates were sat waiting there for their appointments too. Susie parked her arse and held her head back against the wall. A drug addict was sat next to her and her small baby bump looked deformed. Susie scanned the prisoner and turned her head to face her. “How far are you then?”
The convict smiled and rubbed the lower part of her stomach. “I’m ready to drop next week; I’m only small aren’t I?”
Susie looked shocked. “Fuck me, yes you are. I thought you were about six months or summit like that.”
The woman held her hand over her brown stumpy teeth, her front tooth was missing. “I can’t wait until it’s out of me. I’ve been ill for the full pregnancy.” Susie sighed and watched Jane talking to another screw. She seemed to have a glow about her today. Her cheeks looked rosy and she seemed happy for a change.
Susie’s name was called out to go and see the doctor. Standing to her feet she shot her eyes to Jane. “I’m going in, if you’re coming.” The officer said goodbye to her colleague and quickly walked to her side.
The drug addict nodded her head at Susie. “Good luck with it all.” Susie was gone.
The doctor took Susie’s blood samples and her blood pressure. Everything was normal and there was nothing to worry about. The last job was to feel her stomach and to check the baby was growing inside her. Rubbing his hands together he smiled at his patient. “I’m just warming my hands up.”
Susie was lay on the examination table and Jane was seated at the side of her. The doctor cupped his hands and placed them on her stomach. His face looked concerned as he pressed about on her abdomen. Susie could see his concern and coughed loudly. “Is everything alright Doctor?”
He turned to Jane and smiled. “I think its twins.”
Susie’s face dropped and the colour seemed to drain from her face. “Are you having a fucking laugh or what,” she hissed.
The doctor patted his hands about her stomach once again. “Yes, there are definitely two babies in there.”
Jane stood up and her face looked red. The doctor told Susie he was booking her in for a scan as soon as possible to confirm what he thought. Writing a few notes down in her personal file he left the room to leave her to get ready.
Susie looked distraught; she sat on the edge of the bed kicking her legs out in front of her. “Well that’s me fucked innit. You don’t want two babies do you?”
Jane threw her arms around her and tears streamed down her face. “Of course I do, I know it’s not what we planned but Paul with be over the moon. This is just what we need, a family.”
Susie hunched her shoulders and her eyes opened wide. “I don’t want any more money you know, I’m just glad you want the two of them.” Susie jumped down from the bed. Straightening her clothes she smiled at Jane. “What’s the good news then, come on then spill the beans. I can tell by your face you’re dying to tell me something.”
Jane stood behind the door and checked nobody was about. Keeping her voice low she whispered. “Paul wants to come and meet you. We have worked it all out, he said we can say we’re your family to start with and we’ll have temporary custody of the babies until you get out.”
Susie screwed her face up. “I thought you said you were adopting them.”
Jane jumped in and stopped her dead in her tracks. “Yeah we are, but it’s easier to do it like this first, trust me. Once you get out, all you’ll have to do is sign a few papers and that’s it, the babies will be ours. Nobody will be any the wiser.”
The room was silent for a minute until Susie spoke. “So when is your husband coming to see me then,”
Jane chuckled. “I’ve booked him a visit for tomorrow at one o’clock if that’s okay.”
Susie chewed on her lips. “Yeah, it’s not as if I won’t be here is it.”
Jane giggled and pulled the door open. She escorted her prisoner back to her cell and left h
er almost immediately. “Speak soon,” she whispered as she closed the door behind her.
Helen was sprawled on her bed munching on some crisps. Speaking with a gob full of food she waved her hands in the air. “Was everything alright with the bambino and all that?”
Susie blew her breath and flung her body onto her bed. “I’m having fucking twins the doctor said.”
Helen jumped up from the bed. “No fucking way, are ya?”
Susie nodded. “Yep, two of the little bastards to get rid of now, not just one.”
Helen smirked and rolled about the bed in fits of laughter. “Susie this could only happen to you. How unlucky is that.”
“Okay, okay, don’t rub it in then,” Susie said.
Helen licked her fingers as she finished the last few crisps in the packet. “Fuck me, that’s you fucked then innit. Jane won’t want the two of them will she?”
Susie smiled. “Well that’s where you’re wrong smart arse. She came down to the antenatal with me and she knows everything. She wants them both.”
“Fuck off, no way,” Helen shrieked. “You’re a jammy fucker you are. Well that’s a result anyway.”
Susie nodded her head and lay stroking her belly. “Just think in three months time my body will be my own again, and my worst nightmare will be over. I’m meeting her other half tomorrow, so it’s all gravy, now baby.” They chuckled as Susie reached for a bar of chocolate from the side of her bed. Susie had gained some weight over the last few weeks and all she seemed to be doing was eating. Susie rubbed her hands together as she rammed a piece of chocolate into her mouth. “I’m a survivor me love, watch this space.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Susie sat in the visiting room waiting for her visit with Jane’s husband. She’d made every effort to look presentable, she didn’t want Jane’s partner thinking she was a skank and a low life. Jane was on door duty today and she was helping with all the visitors. She looked nervous and kept looking at Susie with a half-hearted smile. The visiting room was quiet as all the inmates sat waiting to see their loved ones. Susie sat tapping her fingers on the table.
People started to enter the room; inmates stood from their chairs and hugged their loved ones. Susie dropped her head onto her arms and held back the tears, she felt alone and lonely and wished somebody loved her. She would have given anything at that moment for a hug and a kiss from someone who cared about her.
Susie watched the entrance with eager eyes. Sitting chewing her fingernails she could see Jane talking to a man, she was struggling to see his face. Sitting up straight in her chair she prepared herself to meet Jane’s husband. Jane came walking towards her with a smile spread right across her face. “He’s just going to get you a drink and some food. I’ve told him to get you some chocolate because I know you’re craving it.” Susie licked her lips; she was hungry again and could have eaten a scabby horse at that moment.
Jane stood fidgeting at the side of her; her eyes were all over the place. Seeing her other half queuing up for food she walked over to where he was stood. Covering her mouth she whispered to him. “She’s at table seven, make sure you’re nice to her, I don’t want you ruining things. This means everything to me you know.”
“Don’t you worry sweetheart, I want this as much as you. I’m going to be as nice as pie to her, don’t you worry your pretty little head.” Jane moved from his side and headed back to work. She didn’t want anyone putting two and two together. She smiled one last time at Susie and trudged back to her workmates.
Susie looked bored and held her head down on the table on her folded arms. A man’s voice made her sit up. “Hello Susie, I’m Paul, Jane’s husband.”
Susie lifted her head slowly and nearly died when she saw the man’s face for the first time. She sprang back in her chair and yanked at her t-shirt around her neck. Her face was red and she looked like she was going to burst. The man sat down and she could see the colour draining from his face too. The two of them sat in silence for a minute. Susie was shaking and her lips were trembling as she started to speak for the first time. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Jane’s husband dragged at his hair and small droplets of sweat were visible on his forehead. His eyes were all over the place as he scanned the room for his wife. Susie spoke again in a distressed tone. “Is this some kind of sick joke or summat. I’ll say it again, what the fuck are you doing here. Don’t you think you’ve done enough to me, you double-crossing bastard.”
Paul sighed and reached his hands over to Susie’s. “Listen, I’m just as shocked as you. Jane wants this so much, please let’s try and sort something out.”
Susie nearly bolted up from her chair; she was half stood up as she growled into his face. “I should just tell your wife everything. You’re a dirty perverted cunt and deserve everything that’s coming to you.”
“Please please Susie, let’s talk about this.” Susie gasped for breath as she took a gulp of her coffee.
“Talk about it, are you having a laugh. You and Tim have ruined my life.”
The man held his head in his hands, he looked desperate. “Susie I know what I did was wrong, but come on you were blackmailing me, I was at my wits end. Tim made me do it.”
Susie spat across the table at him. “I should have cottoned on to Jane’s surname, what a nob-head I am. Paul Jenkins, Jane Jenkins, why didn’t I see it?” Paul slammed his flat palm on the table, a few of the inmates looked at him and he knew he had to curb his anger.
Gasping for breath he snarled at her. “Listen bitch, me and my wife have been to hell and back these last few months, give us a break for Christ’s sake. We lost our son you know.” Paul hung his head low and tears formed in the corner of his eyes. “I feel so guilty every day I breathe. I think God took my son for the sins I committed. Do you know how that makes me feel when I watch my wife on her knees crying for our dead son?”
Susie choked her tears back. “Don’t try that bullshit with me, because it doesn’t wash. You were shagging brasses, end of. You should have thought about your wife before you went paying for sex, you dirty bastard.”
Paul chewed on his shaking lips as they both sat staring at each other. Jane was walking over to them now and you could see the panic written all across his face. Turning his head quickly towards Susie he pleaded with her. “Please, think about this, please don’t tell her, it would kill her, trust me, she’s not strong enough.” Susie held her head back and her nostrils were flaring. Tapping her fingernail on her front teeth a cunning look came across her face.
Jane stood at the side of the table, she was grinning at the both of them. “Hope you two are getting on?”
Paul tried to raise a smile but his eyes were fixed on Susie, waiting for her to answer. Susie struggled to speak at first but she found the words she needed to answer her. “Oh we’re getting on like a house on fire, aren’t we Paul? It’s like we’ve known each other for years.”
Paul raised a smile but you could see he was struggling. Jane gripped her husband’s shoulder and whispered in his ear. “This is the happiest I’ve been in a long time, I love you so much, thanks, babes.”
Paul held the tears back and Susie could see the pain in his face. Jane left them again and walked about the room checking the other visitors. Once she was well out of the way Susie snarled at him. “So... let’s talk business.”
“What do you mean?” he gasped.
“Well now it’s a whole new ball game, isn’t it,” she chuckled and rubbed her palms together. Bending in towards him she kept her voice low and stared directly in his eyes. “You owe me, you bent bastard, and I’m gonna make sure you pay in full. There’s things you can do for me, starting from now, do you hear me?”
Paul nodded slowly. “Anything, just as long as you don’t tell my wife.”
“I want Tim sorting out,” she whispered.
Paul looked puzzled. “I’m not in that jail anymore Susie, so what the fuck can I do to him.”
Susie gritted her teeth, “Make it yo
ur business to sort it out; surely you must have friends in there who can pull a few strings for you. I don’t want him dead, oh no.” She was sat bent over the table now and they were nose to nose. “I want him down the block; I want him to feel low. And I want him to have fuck all, just like I have.”
Paul cracked his knuckles as he sat thinking for a minute. “I can do that, I have friends in the jail that can plant some drugs, will that do?”
Susie smiled and nodded her head. “Yeah for now, I want some money sending in for me too. I’m on my arse and haven’t got a pot to piss in. Tell Jane what she can do in here to make my life easier.”
Paul sipped his drink and watched as Susie attacked the ‘Mars’ bar he’d bought her. His eyes never left her face and he looked dead inside. The sound of the screw shouting to end the visits could be heard. Paul looked anxious and reached over to hold Susie’s hands. Looking into her eyes he spoke with a shaky voice. “Susie please don’t ruin my life. I’ll do all I can to help you, but please tell me we can still have the babies. It would kill Jane if you changed your mind now.”
Susie stood up on her feet and stretched her arms above her head as she yawned. “You can have the babies, don’t worry. Just make sure I’m not on my arse while I’m in here that’s all.” Paul nodded as he walked away; he looked like a broken man.
Susie went to get searched. As she turned her head she could see Paul waiting to leave the prison. She chuckled to herself and couldn’t believe what had just happened. The years she had left in prison now seemed bearable. Susie had Jenkins by the short and curlies and she knew he would do anything to keep her mouth shut.
When she got back on the wing, Helen was playing pool with another inmate. Susie could see her as she dipped her head over the metal banister. Susie cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted down to her. “Ay lard arse, you’re looking more like a bloke every day. Pull your pants up, ya arse is showing.”
Helen yanked her tracksuit bottoms up and rammed her fingers up in the air at her. “Fuck you,” she shouted back at her as she continued to take her shot.
