American Recovery

by Joshua Guess

  Two: a device capable of producing such an effect without splitting atoms would have to be powerful and within the boundaries of New Haven itself to be that effective.

  One of our portable cell towers is completely fried, and I'd have to take a stab in the dark and say that something inside it went terribly wonky and jammed all the other wireless signals. It's a guess only, but no one has any better suggestions. I'm not an engineer or anything, but the few people we have with experience in such things assure me that's about the only possibility.

  As with the small ice storm that hit us the other day, this slowed down our efforts to comb the wreckage over in the fallback point. It's a bad idea to send people over the river without solid long-range communications. So we didn't. Which is probably a good thing since my brother drew duty yesterday for the job. He's still pretty upset. I sometimes forget that my big brother, who has been a rock for me my entire life, has seen the same level of horrible shit happen as the rest of us. I've never seen him truly shaken before, much less for days on end. I worry about him a lot. We all have our limits and the constant rasp of violence and death against our souls wears us thin one stroke at a time.

  But today is another day, cold and clear, and we must do our best (as always) to soldier on. It's a hard thing to say and ten times harder to actually do, but the needs of the group must come before our own feelings.

  Which brings me to an interesting point, actually. Jess has been putting in dangerously long hours at the greenhouses the last few weeks, and we've barely had any time together. I've basically spent that time here at the house building comprehensive histories of New Haven and her people as well as putting in several hours a day on a compendium for survival. That one has been a pet project for a while, and yes I'm totally aware of the irony of a guy who suffers from deep depressions putting together a survival manual. The idea is to examine all the things we've tried, or that other people have tried, and weed out all the bad ideas. It's sort of a super-distilled volume dedicated to the most efficient ways to do...well, just about anything. And it's a living document that will be amended and added to over time. A bible, of you will, for anyone that wants it.

  See how I nerded out just then? That's the point I was getting to. I've been neck deep in my projects just as Jess has been in hers. I love my wife intensely (and somehow gently at the same time) and in ways I can't even explain. Not seeing her really sucks, and not having time together just for us compounds that sucktitude geometrically. Her driving force is to make sure we aren't caught with our pants down when the spring rolls around and the zombies once again run over us like the ocean. We'll need as much of a head start with farming and food supplies as we can get. Jess is burning the candle at both ends because she feels that she can do the best job of it, and because two thousand people are counting on her.

  I'm pouring myself into my own work because I recognize that what she's doing is vital, and me bitching about it or guilting her into slowing down or taking time off would be selfish beyond forgiveness. My own work, though not nearly as important, still might save or at least improve lives, so I put my all into it. It's as much self-preservation as it is a desire to help; without the distraction I'd go insane being here without her. Most of my friends are very busy lately, so I don't have them to divert me.

  I will eventually put the manual out there for everyone to read, but it's going to take a lot of work to ensure its accuracy. One wrong or unclear sentence and it could cost lives rather than preserve them. That's one lucky thing Jess has going for her. It's nearly impossible to kill people with vegetables, despite the claims of generations of reluctant children at dinner tables 'round the world.

  Don't think I don't realize that we're all of us--Dave, Jess, Myself, and really most people--isolating ourselves in some form or fashion to deal with our hardships. It's a damn funny thing, but productive. To escape the pain, we throw ourselves into the work. It helps us forget. It produces good effects for large numbers of people.

  Yet for us as individuals I have to wonder if it's the healthiest choice. We're all survivors together, facing new and greater threats on a regular basis. Guess it seems like since we've survived so much we should be somehow better, or at least more capable of coping as a unit. Proof once again that we're just as flawed as anyone else in history. Don't know if that's a comfort or not.

  Saturday, January 19, 2013

  Turnabout

  Posted by Josh Guess

  I was sleeping in today. Jess ran out of the house this morning like a scalded dog (that's a saying around these parts, and yes, I thought it in a deep southern drawl) as usual, leaving me alone in the bed. She gave me a kiss before she left, so that's okay. Will waking me up by pounding on my door twenty minutes later was less fine.

  He had news. Bad news. The UAS sent out a message this morning, explaining that thirty of their people went AWOL much as our dissenters did. The difference is that the UAS didn't kick their people out with minimal weaponry and supplies. These people were all manning a supply dump full of heavy vehicles and firepower. The gist of the argument they were having with the UAS leadership involved New Haven and how we're bothersome in our continued existence. The idea goes that if New Haven were destroyed, as the apparent head of the Union, the body would die. The Union would fall.

  Sort of a casual way to think about the murder of two thousand people, us not being an imminent threat and all, but I give the deserters full marks for honesty. The long and short of it is that the UAS didn't want us to get hit by some of their people and start a full-on ground war with the Union.

  At least, that's the story. I know it makes me paranoid but I have to wonder if this isn't the UAS trying to make a tactic out of our own dissenters leaving. Those folks left here and we disavowed them, and that was real. The UAS took us at our word about it, which was nice. Now we're being asked to do the same and facing a much worse threat than our (former) people were to them.

  We really don't have a lot of choice. Will is angry--and tired, if the haggard look on his face was any indication--because we're put in a corner here. The tentative and minimal trust between the UAS and the Union is too important to the peace to threaten by starting our own war over this.

  It's fucked any way you look at it. The fact that these nutjobs heading toward us intend to do the zombie's work for them is irritating enough. I'm used to dealing with people who want dominion over others or to kill them for some greater purpose, just as I'm used to fighting off the undead who only want a hot meal. But to pull us into politics, which is something I hoped we'd left behind, is a whole other back of worms. I really hope these fuckers come at us just so I can show them how much I appreciate their concern.

  By now everyone in New Haven knows about this. There was an announcement not long after Will left. Some of the people from the Box managed to set up a PA system. Don't know that it covers everywhere but gossip is unique in physics for its ability to move faster than the speed of light. I know Patrick and Becky are aware. Pat is worried, deeply worried, about having to endure heavy fire. He is worried for the kids especially and it's strange to see him become so mature and adult about being a parent to his own girl and the nieces. Of course, when he was expressing his concern he blasted out a wicked fart and kept on going over my laughter, so I have to wonder how much of that conversation was really about his fears. Seems like he was just trying to make me laugh. Pat's a comedian.

  Becky was over here at the time, though she left when Patrick bombed the house, and her attitude was surprisingly relaxed. When she came to us she'd spent a long time moving across continents and oceans to reach home. She was kind of broken as a person. In the time since I'd almost forgotten that even before The Fall she had seen and endured worse than 99.9% of the human race. Being a soldier in war zones, getting hit by IEDs, and putting the wounded back together on the fly will harden you. Becky just shrugged when I told her what Will told me. War isn't anything new to her, and she lost her panic reflex for it long ago.
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  As for me? I don't feel fear any longer. Well, that's not true; I feel it when immediate danger is on me. But I've lost the capacity to worry about things I can't change right in front of me. Those people may come. They might kill me. They might kill a lot of us. But they probably won't kill us all. We'll face them when we have to and stand tall. Until and unless that happens, I'll keep pecking away and writing my books. One thing the zombie plague has taught us above all others: if you let fear keep you from doing anything, you can't survive long term. Simple truth.

  Sunday, January 20, 2013

  Renegades

  Posted by Josh Guess

  Though I've been given permission to do so, it still bothers me to give out any information that may allow our enemies insight into how New Haven and the Union operate. My objections being aired, we have news about the renegade UAS members who have been expelled for going AWOL. That the entire group of them chose to break ranks as one and steal everything from their supply dump doesn't surprise me in the least. Put any group of people together in one place under bad conditions for long enough and one of two things is bound to happen; murder or consensus.

  Look at the human race as it is right now if you need further proof. We've devolved somewhat into a clannish mentality, and that's as it should be. We basically are clans at this point, though not due to bloodlines or marriage. Many people have grumbled that it's just too convenient that an entire outpost would decide to take matters into their own hands, implying that the UAS planned this. I'm not discounting it as a possibility, but it seems much more likely to me that these people acted as their own echo chamber. A few people making arguments for attacking their enemies rather than wait in boredom in some frontier locale has a way of gaining traction.

  The UAS may have the advantage on us in technology and weapons (and we're pretty sure that's the case), but they're much less aware of the psychological needs of survivors out in the world. We've been through it, we know exactly how the seeds of discord can take root. That's why we rotate our people out and do fun things like have concerts in our little theater. We aren't trying to dominate others; we're just trying to give people lives as close to normal as possible.

  We know, via our long-range scouts, that those AWOL people are heading this way. We know where they are and what roads they're using. For once we won't be caught off guard when the time to fight comes. Hell, we might actually get the drop on our attackers for a change. It's a concept that makes my brain hurt. The last time was with the Hunters. We all know how that turned out.

  It's interesting to see the difference in how people within the UAS and regular survivors cope with the world. The tragedy is that the UAS folks were mostly cloistered within their bunkers. They had a lot of time to think and plan and consider, to drive themselves batty with ideas of what the world would be like. I'm sure they received reports and such, but the simple fact remains that within those concrete walls their lives were a cake walk compared to what it's like out here.

  Pen up a dog long enough and when you do finally open that door he's going to go nuts running around. A person isn't much different except for the ease with which you can focus those energies. The UAS did a brilliant job in aiming that pent-up power at the rest of the world. Make everyone else a target, claim some moral imperative to reclaim society and impose order (ignoring the order already established by the rest of us, of course) and set them loose with a purpose.

  The only problem is that some of those people will be on the far end of the bell curve when it comes to interpreting that mission. Being moved from getting regular meals, climate-controlled environs, and many of the creature comforts of the old world into a cold and empty land is hard on a person. It makes them desperate. Thus, the AWOL soldiers.

  The other side of the coin is how some survivors have managed to adapt out here in the world despite a total lack of experience doing so. Take Big K, for example. I don't know what his real name is and wouldn't ask, but Big K is one of the guys who came here from North Jackson on the final trip to bring our imported citizens here. K is tall and big in the shoulders. Before The Fall he probably could have played pro football with his frame. He's an interesting guy, as smart as he is big, and before the world went to hell he worked for some big company as a researcher. Spent all his days with his nose in a book or in front of a screen, collecting a paycheck and scarfing down pizza like the rest of us.

  Big K works the honey wagon. Which, if you don't remember, means he collects human refuse from our homes. It's a shitty job (pun intended) and no one does it for very long as we rotate people out, but I've yet to hear him complain. Big K always takes a minute or two to talk to me when he stops by, and I've never seen anything negative on his face.

  What a difference three years of struggle can make. Spend your adult life working a desk, totally unprepared for the dead to rise and try to eat you, and suddenly shoveling shit seems like easy money. The idea that we should attack some other group on principal rather than from dire need and direct danger is repugnant to him. I asked him yesterday evening when he stopped by. Why risk a relatively safe existence surrounded by good people without serious need?

  It's a good question. New Haven and the Union itself seem to be the answer. We've been out here working together to stay alive. Then to build something stable. Then to create conditions for a better future than we could've hoped for when The Fall began. Does K miss his old life? I'm sure he does. We all do. But I can tell you for sure that I've never seen the smooth brown skin on his face crinkle in distaste at his work. He always smiles--because, he says, he knows how much worse it could be. How much worse it has been for all of us in the past.

  He's right, of course.

  Monday, January 21, 2013

  Bigger Fish

  Posted by Josh Guess

  Word came in late last night that a small community--not a part of the Union--on the western edge of UAS territory has been swallowed up. The UAS did it without bloodshed, but there wasn't a lot of choice involved for the people in Bradford. Or, I should say what was Bradford. I don't know what name the UAS will put on the place or even if they'll change it, but this is a turning point.

  Until now we held out some vain hope that these people didn't really mean business. A bloodless coup is still a coup, but history tells us a lot about merciful dictators. Cutting off supply lines, creating a situation that demands either total capitulation or a fight to the death against unbeatable odds...that's a hell of a trick if you can pull it off. Top it off by appearing concerned and announcing that little will change under your rule and you have a recipe for short-term anger but long-term acceptance. The UAS knows how to pull this off.

  Not that the same tactic can work on most of the Union, but that doesn't mean we don't have to worry. As the UAS grows by consuming small groups and moves on and out to the west and surely to the north, they'll grow into something so large and strong that the direct confrontation with us they're so afraid of won't be ruinous for them. I think that must be their plan. The council called me in along with a few other old-timers to explain this theory and ask our opinion. Most of us agree.

  If we're right then we're facing a long-term threat far more pervasive and deadly than even the undead. It makes sense that the UAS would expand now when zombie activity is at its low point for the year. Once the weather warms up the job gets a lot harder to pull off.

  People have been asking the leadership--and me, and Pat and other original New Haveners--what we should do. I keep wondering that myself, but I think the better question to ask is what can we do? Those scattered groups out west of UAS territory might be associated with the Union, but they aren't a part of it. Many of them are friends and allies but are too far away for us to send any real help. The real worry is what happens when the UAS gobbles up all the little minnows at the edges. Because then they'll have the strength of numbers to go after bigger fish; the large communities around the coast.

  I know a lot of people from that area. Our trip around t
he country last year achieved its aim very well; Will and everyone else that went are on friendly terms with many of those groups. They aren't statistics. They're people we've broken bread with. We've helped defend their homes.

  And there can be no doubt at this point that the UAS is coming for them. How far are we willing to go to stand up for those folks? I don't know what the policy will end up being, but I know my own answer.

  Wednesday, January 23, 2013

  The Unclaimed Lands

  Posted by Josh Guess

  This is day two of near single-digit temperatures. For us here in New Haven the weather is immobilizing. It's damn good that we don't have to worry about the undead when it gets this cold, but it has drawbacks, too.

  The UAS is far enough south that they aren't having as hard a time getting things done. Those clever bastards are shooting north and claiming empty land. That might seem like an empty gesture since they don't have the people needed to patrol an area hundreds of miles across, but it's actually pretty brilliant. Another example of how they out-politic us.

  See, the UAS claims land, then says it's no trespassing for anyone not under their control. We've already agreed that starting a war for no reason is a bad idea, so they know we won't travel onto their land without provocation. The problem is that the land in question creates a barrier between the scattered western groups and the Union, making it much harder to travel between the two. I suppose the idea was to divide and conquer, and as far as strategies go it isn't a bad one.

  So, yeah. We won't be able to help our allies out that direction in any real way. The UAS is claiming land at breakneck speeds, and no member of the Union will cross that line. It's a pretty noose.

  There's nothing we can do about it, though. I hate to be the one to say it, but the UAS is doing an efficient job of staying ahead of the rest of us. We know another small group, this one further outside UAS territory, has fallen to them. It was another 'join or die' situation, of course. The UAS seems to be accelerating their plans with the western groups.