You might not believe me when I tell you, but I found my purpose in life when I was driving around the city one day. In Minneapolis, when it gets cold, you have to park your car underground. Otherwise, you won’t be able to open your car door, to say nothing of getting the car to start. If I hadn’t done that, I might have missed the sign entirely.
It was one of those yard signs that people put up to indicate their support of political candidates that no one cares about. Except that this sign was an advertisement for a group meeting. It had different colors from the rainbow on it. Over the colors were the words: “LGBT GROUP MEETING 7PM EVERY WEDNESDAY.”
I had passed the sign a few times before. I just hadn’t ever noticed it. It was part of the background scenery. Now I thought that I might just attend. I might go in to see if I was just strange, or if there were other people like me. I mean, how cool would it be if a man loving another man isn’t actually something that can get a person beaten half to death?
Chapter 10: Officer Anderson
Don’t ask me what I was doing in Minneapolis, especially when it was so cold. Once I learned how to program websites—which wasn’t difficult to do—I found that I could work from wherever I wanted. After that, it wasn’t difficult to live out of my car. I had never needed much to live while I was in the Navy. Now I realized I just need clothes, laundry detergent, my laptop, a few textbooks, and enough food to last me until the next check came in.
Of course, it wasn’t always easy to work as a freelancer. I could do the work easily enough. I found that I didn’t mind working for months at a time without a day off. It seemed odd to me that people always looked forward to the weekend. I preferred to keep working. I can’t always say the same about every client I ever had. Some of them took their time in paying me what I was owed. I learned to save up money ahead of time in case I had to wait on one payment or other. I once had to wait on a payment of fifteen hundred dollars. When it did come, I had already moved on to other work. I hadn’t even needed the fifteen hundred, not with what I had saved up. I just had to dip into my savings to survive. I didn’t like doing that, but I got away with it until the money started coming back.
There were better places in the country—or the world—for a person who designs websites. For someone who works online, California might be the best choice. I just ended up in Minnesota because I kept driving north. I can’t tell you why I did that. It grew colder the further north I got. Now, I don’t mind the cold, but my car does. It didn’t start when I parked on the street.
As a result, I had to knock on someone’s door to ask for help. It didn’t look like anyone would stop to help me. Anyone who did might end up in the same predicament that I was. Three doors down from where I parked, I saw a rainbow-colored sign that promised an LGBT meeting at seven o’clock. I looked at my cellphone and saw that the time read 7:10 PM. I decided to knock on the door.
Chapter 11: Recruit Schaffer
I didn’t expect to be welcomed in. Not me, a stranger with a big muscular body who had been in the Navy. I thought that I would look nothing like the people I would find within. That turned out not to be the case at all. A woman with purple and blue hair greeted me at the door. She ushered me in, and then asked if I had come because I saw the post on the MeetUp group. I had no idea what that was. I explained that I had seen the sign.
It turned out that she lived with three other people: two women and a man. The man had long, black hair. He also had a larger-than-normal chest for a man. I learned that he wasn’t actually a man. He was a person who was changing his gender. The term for that, I learned, was transgender.
I sat down to talk to the transgender woman when a knock sounded at the door. I got up at once to answer it. That’s just a habit I learned from the Navy during all those drills that covered how to challenge a visitor while on watch.
Standing there in the cold—it must have been negative five degrees—wearing nothing but a leather jacket and a pair of blue jeans was Petty Officer Anderson. My mind froze for a moment, and not because of the weather. The sudden feeling of passion came back to me. After so much time apart, after he had put me through the toughest experience I’d ever been put through, I instantly reacted to him as though we had been together the whole time.
He rushed into my arms and hugged me tight. I hugged him back. His body felt warm, as warm as anything I have ever known. Even while he smelled like the cold outside, his heart gave off a heat that I could not ignore. I kissed him without reserve, without fear, and without hesitation. It was right. There had never been anything else that was more right to me.
The women of the house—all four of them—insisted that we close the door and stop letting the cold in. I pulled Anderson inside. I said, “Hello beautiful, I’m Zack Schaffer.”
Anderson gave me a goofy grin. He had enjoyed the kiss too. He said, “David Anderson. A pleasure.”
“Of course. It always is.”
Chapter 12: Officer Anderson
It turned out that we could get married, Zack and I. I hadn’t been sure whether we could or not. But we really could. As soon as I found out—thirty minutes into my first LGBT meeting in Minneapolis—I knelt on the carpet and proposed to him, right there on the spot. Zack cried. This time, I wasn’t turned on by him. I was in awe of him. He accepted who he was so easily, when I had struggled so much with it. I could have married a woman if I’d wanted. I could have married more than one person if I’d wanted—and if I didn’t mind living in Utah.
I chose him. He was the only one for me. Both my body and my brain told me so. He excited me like no one else could. Just having him in the room was enough for me. He made everything seem better. Just having him there was enough. It was more than enough. He was my everything. I did not hesitate in asking him to marry me. I trusted my instincts, just like I always did whenever I had to evaluate a recruit trying to make it as a SEAL. That same something that made me think he had a lot of potential also made me think he had a bright, positive future, no matter what he chose to do. He was someone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life around.
So, I’ll tell you straight out. I never had sex with a man before I had it with Zack. There were plenty of women up and down the activism trail who wanted to go to bed with me. I never refused any of them. I enjoyed being with them. It just wasn’t anything like being with Zack. He put the rest of them to shame. The way his hands lightly touched my hips, the way his thighs rubbed against my own, his soft, wet mouth—all of that, and so much more, combined to make him irresistible.
It didn’t take us long before we joined in a Minneapolis pride parade. I decided to bring out my old dress uniform from the Navy. I put all my medals on it. I shined up my shoes, and ironed out all the creases from my clothes. I practiced my salute in front of a mirror to make sure that I still remembered how to do it correctly. Zack watched me from behind. He leaned in to kiss my neck. Then he murmured something into my ear. Something about having to wash the towels that we put down on the bed whenever we became especially interested in one another.
I grinned. Feeling that happy was odd. I had never felt that way in the Navy. I had just gone through the motions day after day. I hadn’t even realized how drab my life had been until someone colorful came into it. We were both invited to sit on top of a float. Someone decided to crown us both kings. Zack went to the event wearing a skirt. He had not bothered to shave his face or his legs. I found that I didn’t care. I loved him just as he was.
I found out that we made the news on account of my uniform. There was this whole big discussion about how gay people should be treated in the military. It was all over the papers, and all over every television station. It’s not something I cared to pay much attention to. If a man—or woman—acts decently, he’ll be treated decently. If he acts decent and is treated indecently, he ought to go somewhere else. That’s all there is to it.
I don’t know that I even had fifteen minutes of fame. It seemed shorter than that to me. The picture of me and Zack kissing on to
p of that float soon disappeared from media circulation. Since he had an apartment and I didn’t, I moved in with him. I kept designing web pages and kept waiting for clients to pay me on time. It hasn’t happened yet. Zack started studying for the bar exam. He intends to be an advocate for disadvantaged LGBT people who get caught up in the system.
We just can’t decide whether we’re going to have a kid or not. I tell him that we can’t afford one. He says that he wants to a raise a child. There are plenty of children who need adopting. That’s certainly true, but if he was to look at how many times I came close to losing everything I owned on account of payments being delayed, he might think twice about it. He just wants a kid so badly that he’s willing to do anything for it. I suppose I can’t blame him for that.
Here’s one more unbelievable thing to tell in this story of unbelievable things. I got the letter just the other day from the Navy’s Judge Advocate General Office from the Washington Naval Yard. It turns out that someone had petitioned the Navy on my behalf to have my case reviewed. The letter informed me that my discharge might be reversed.
I laughed and laughed when I read that. If they’d told me during my court-martial that I could stay in the Navy, I would have said yes. But now that I have a husband I love and a job I’m good at, which pays well? I’m going to turn it down. I’m going to tell them not to bother on my behalf.
I’m happy just as I am. That’s the truth of it.
Fire & Ice
Chapter 1
The cold air stung his pale skin as he tightened a scarf around his neck. It had been a difficult semester for Casey Meindert as he balanced school work, extracurricular activities, and a social life. But now all of that was behind him. He was finally on break and he was going to enjoy it.
Born and raised in the States, Casey jumped at the opportunity to study in New Zealand through a study abroad program. He loved the new and exciting environment, but he was exhausted from the arduous work schedule the school demanded of him. At last, he could relax on the beautiful slopes of the southern Alps.
Casey had always been a winter baby. He loved the cold and the snow and hated the summer heat. So arriving at the Rocky Vista ski resort was like a dream come true. Bending down, he grabbed his suitcase before walking toward the warm-looking log cabin, adorned with impressive wood carvings all around. He was going to spend a month at the resort, and he was already excited to put on his gear and get on the ski lift.
Before that, however, he had to check in. Accordingly he made his way into the oppressively warm log cabin. There was a large fire crackling loudly at the back of the reception hall. A crowd of skiers was huddled around it, trying to warm their toes and fingers back to life. A lot of people enjoyed skiing, but almost no one liked the bitter cold associated with it, except for Casey.
With a bright smile, he walked up to the check-in desk, his blue eyes gently rolling over the well-built man sitting there. The receptionist looked up at the young student before grabbing his reservation. A small frown crept up onto Casey’s face as he noticed the man’s rude demeanor. He ran his fingers through his choppy red hair as he took a look around the building. As his eyes fell on a wooden sculpture of a dragon, the man spoke up, breaking his concentration.
“All set. Second floor. Room 22B.” Casey nodded, grabbing his keys, completely forgetting about the wooden sculpture as he once again grabbed his bags and walked up the stairs to the second floor. He found his room to be the last door on the left. He looked at the old wooden door before entering his new temporary residence.
It was a tiny room with a twin-sized bed, a small kitchen area, and an even smaller bathroom. He placed his bags on the ground and walked up to the long curtains that hid the room’s French doors. He pulled them down and gasped at the million-dollar view. With great satisfaction on his face, he opened up the window before stepping onto the balcony.
The snow stuck to his pale skin, blending in to his complexion before finally melting away and dripping down onto his neck. He smiled as he placed his bare hands on the cold, metal railing and leaned over, nearly falling off. His pastel blue eyes had a wild spark roaming through them as he looked at the mountains. This was going to be a great vacation.
Within moments, Casey walked back into the cozy room, leaving the French doors wide open. He quickly stripped down before getting dressed in his ski clothes. Unlike other skiers, he didn’t wear layer upon layer of clothes to ward off the cold. No, he preferred to go out in thin clothing, to feel the elements battle against his skin. Looking in the mirror, he zipped up his lightweight jacket and smiled at the charming reflection before grabbing the rest of his ski gear.
Minutes later he was settled down on a ski lift, watching the residents of the log cabin become smaller and smaller until they eventually turned into tiny ants in his vision. Small puffs of air emerged from his mouth as he neared the top of the mountain. Finally, he jumped off at the last stop, before making his way to the steepest slope. He stood on the ledge looking down, his eyes gazing at the incline with a devilish smile painted on his rosy lips. His eyes sparkled with excitement as he took a deep breath and took the leap of faith, letting his body take control, moving and contouring in a way that felt natural to the supple young man.
Soon, however, he was at the bottom of the slope and the adrenaline that had filled his body moments ago was now gone. He looked back at the slope, hungry for more. Looking around, he noticed several snowmobiles lining a nearby fence. An older gentleman with a beet-red face stood there, looking quite miserable. The cold clearly didn’t agree with him. Casey walked up to him with an upbeat smile and offered a warm greeting.
“Hello!” The man just grunted back at him, shoving his shivering hands into the pockets of his huge jacket. “Can residents of the Rocky Vista use these?” Casey inquired politely as he looked into the old man’s dull eyes. The man seemed to sigh as he pulled his worn out scarf away from his mouth.
“For a fee,” he said simply.
“How much?”
“One hundred for an hour.” Casey frowned at the number. He thought about it for a moment. Eventually, he reached into his inner pocket, pulling out a crisp hundred-dollar bill. He handed it to the man with some dismay. The man, in turn, gave him a toothy smile before handing over the keys to the snowmobile. “Return in an hour or it’s another hundred,” he said before turning his back on Casey, who was already on top of the snowmobile, looking excited.
Putting the keys in the ignition, he grinned in delight before maneuvering away from the rest of the vehicles. Clear of obstructions he revved up the engine and shot off toward the endless blanket of snow that caked the mountain top. His eyes locked on the mountain peaks, his face painted in hues of excitement as he pushed the engine to its maximum, eager to get to the summit.
As he passed an “off-limits” zone, he scoffed.
Chapter 2
Soon after he passed the off-limits sign, the weather took a turn for the worse. The day had been calm and sunny, but now the snow was falling in huge chunks and the wind was picking up. Casey zipped up his jacket as much as possible, regretting his lack of warm layers for a second. Nonetheless, he still pushed his snowmobile further up the mountain.
As the visibility dropped, Casey thought about turning back, but his desire to reach the top of the mountain was all consuming at this point. He wanted to know what it felt like to stand on the top of the world, if only for a moment. But as he made his way higher up the mountain, the storm got even worse. He could feel small ice crystals form on the ends of his long eyelashes.
All of a sudden the snowmobile gave out, its motor sputtering to a halt. Casey tried to turn the key, but nothing happened. He looked around, seeing no more than five feet in front of him. This wasn’t good. Wrapping his arms around his body for warmth, Casey got off the snowmobile, seeking shelter. He knew how dangerous getting trapped in a blizzard could be. Hypothermia could set in in a matter of minutes.
Cursing his own ambition, Casey s
tarted to walk around, looking for anything that could help him. Glancing back to check his progress, he realized suddenly that he could no longer see the snowmobile. He cursed once more, knowing it would cost him an arm and a leg if he ended up losing the expensive vehicle.
Casey started to shiver as the blizzard intensified around him, covering the landscape in an inescapable blanket of white. All around him were tree trunks that looked exactly the same. Nothing gave him any hint of salvation. The fear of freezing to death started to creep into his mind as he felt the tips of his fingers going numb.
Just as he was about to give up he spotted a large, gray mass. Casey quickly waded through the snow, making his way toward the unknown object. Once he got closer, to his relief, it turned out to be a cave. He stumbled inside, glad to be out of the howling wind. The cave didn’t offer much in the way of warmth, but at least it kept him out of the storm.
Casey sat down, rubbing his limbs, trying to get his blood flowing once more. The wind suddenly shifted, blowing packs of snow and ice into the cave. Shaking off the sudden onset of snow, Casey got up and crawled deeper into the cave. To his surprise, the farther he went, the warmer it got. He quickly stuffed his hands into his pockets and pulled out his keys. He turned on the tiny flashlight keychain hanging from them, a gift from his mother, before looking around. It looked deserted. Feeling safe, he continued deeper into the cave, following the warm, relaxing heat emanating from its depths.
As he walked farther and farther, he stopped dead in his tracks, startled by an unexpected sound. Pressing his hands to the warm walls of the cave, the young man tried to focus his hearing. He couldn’t quite figure out what the sound was. Casey tried to still his own breathing as he strained his ears. Was it some sort of animal?
He leaned against the wall, his body still numb from the cold. Was it safe to stay there? He stopped for a moment to think. Maybe if he remained in this part of the cave he would be okay. With this thought, he sat down and hugged his knees, thinking about the situation. He prayed the blizzard would calm down soon, so he could get back to the lodge and curl up in his bed. Until then he would have to settle for sitting there, listening to the soft, rhythmic pattern of breathing deep within the cave.
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