Realizing he was still holding her against him, he forced his arms to release her. "Uh, I'd—I'd better go wash up for dinner." And get his body under control. It seemed determined to ignore his admonition for caution. And it definitely wanted to ignore his order to let her go.
In fact, he wasn't sure he was going to be able to let her go. But she helped him, taking a step back, still staring at him. His arms fell uselessly to his sides, as if they had no reason to exist if they weren't holding Liza.
Her gaze was fixed on his lips, and he wanted to taste her again, but some noise in the background forced him to come to his senses. Was Bonnie listening outside the door? That thought had him stepping away from her even farther. How embarrassing to lose control at his age.
Even worse to play the classic role of a man in a midlife crisis losing his mind over a gorgeous Lolita. Not that he was that old, or that Liza had in any way plotted to seduce him. He wished. But he was definitely losing his mind.
"I have to go."
Then he bolted from the room.
* * *
Liza stared at the door.
She'd just spent the most ecstatic, devastating, memorable moments in Nick's arms that she'd ever experienced. She'd thought she was in love with the man her mother had paid off. She'd been sure she was heartbroken when he walked away with the money—and without her.
But she'd been wrong. Not until this moment had she experienced anything earth-shattering. Nick Hathaway had taken her heart for his own.
She suspected she'd never be able to claim that part of her body again.
So what was she going to do?
He'd said they had no future. He'd made it clear he only wanted sex. Tears pooled in her eyes, because she wanted so much more. But what did she have to offer? All she brought with her was trouble. When everything was settled, would he still want her?
Could she wait until her difficulties were resolved to tell him how much she wanted from him?
That she might be able to do, but she wouldn't be able to resist his arms, his lips, all of him, not even for a New York minute. She wanted him, however she could get him.
She walked out of the den, her head high. She wasn't going to be ashamed that she was attracted to the man, or apologize for responding to him. She'd have to be dead for that not to happen.
When she entered the kitchen, Bonnie immediately asked her to pour the drinks for their dinner, making it easy to pretend she hadn't interrupted a torrid love scene.
When Nick finally came down, dinner was on the table and she and Bonnie were talking about a weather report the housekeeper had heard.
"Did you know that, Nick?"
"What?" he asked, his voice clipped.
"Bonnie says it may snow tonight. The temperature is supposed to drop to near freezing," Liza said, smiling at him.
He seemed surprised by her composure. She raised her chin a notch. He might think he was too old for her, but she sure wasn't too young for him.
"No, I hadn't heard that. It's a little early for our first snow."
Bonnie chipped in. "It probably won't snow, but at least everyone will get excited anticipating it."
A quick glance at Nick told Liza he recognized how those words could apply to what happened in the den. At least he was as aware of her as she was of him.
"Emily—I mean my friend said it had started snowing there."
"Where?" Bonnie asked.
It occurred to Liza that she'd better think about what she was saying. She didn't intend to reveal Emily's location, even if Bonnie didn't know her story. "Out west," she said casually.
Bonnie pretended her response was normal. "I guess they get a lot of snow out there."
"Yes. Are we ready to eat?"
"A 'course. Everyone sit down. It's your favorite tonight, Nick. My famous meat loaf."
There was little conversation at the table. When Bonnie made a comment on the weather, or her day, either Nick or Liza would respond briefly and the topic would be abandoned.
Liza was busy debating what she should do. Obviously she and Nick couldn't co-exist with the tension as high as it was. Could she leave? Should she leave?
"More rolls, Liza?"
"What? Oh, no, thank you, Bonnie. But they're delicious."
"Homemade," the woman responded proudly.
Liza nodded.
"Bonnie is famous for her rolls," Nick added, his gaze flickering to Liza before he looked back down at his plate.
Scintillating conversation.
* * *
Nick's stomach was churning. He'd barely eaten anything of his favorite meal. Stirring his food, he'd managed a bite here or there, but his plate still held a lot when he shoved back from the table.
Bonnie stared at his plate and then at him, but much to Nick's relief, she didn't comment on his lack of appetite.
"There's a wonderful program on PBS this evening on that famous train ride across Canada. Anyone want to watch it with me?" she said instead.
Nick held his breath, waiting for Liza's response.
"Oh, yes, I'd love to see that," she replied, smiling at his housekeeper.
He coveted that smile. But she hadn't even looked directly at him since—No, he wouldn't think about when he'd held her in his arms. He nodded his head. "That sounds good, Bonnie. Maybe we could even share some popcorn."
"Why, of course, Nick. That's a good idea. You two go on in and I'll—"
"No!" he and Liza replied at once.
Liza added, "I'll fix some drinks, Bonnie. I'll need one to counteract the saltiness."
"I'll go turn on the television," Nick said. He knew Liza wouldn't come into the room without Bonnie. A good thing, since he doubted he could trust himself to be alone with her.
He still felt the same way when he climbed the stairs to his bedroom several hours later. He'd waited until the ladies had retired, then he'd made sure the house was locked up.
Returning to his home office, he'd picked up the murder mystery he'd been wanting to read. He knew sleep wasn't going to come easily. His mind—and his body—was still focused on Liza.
A few minutes later he settled against the piles of pillows and picked up the book. The cover didn't faze him, a dagger with drops of blood. He was thinking about Liza.
"Get a grip, man," he muttered.
Then he heard a knock on his door.
His heart began thumping rapidly even though he told himself it was probably Bonnie. He wasn't sure Liza even knew where his bedroom was. He slipped on his robe and crossed the room.
Wrong move, he deduced moments later when he swung open the door to discover Liza. She was dressed in one of the negligees he'd bought her, and smiling at him.
Eleven
"What's wrong?"
Liza stared at him. For a man who had professed to want her only a few hours earlier, he seemed remarkable obtuse.
"Nothing's wrong," she said calmly, noting his bare chest beneath the robe. She stepped over the threshold, closing the door behind her.
He backed away from her. "Liza, you shouldn't be here."
Well, this was awkward! She'd assumed he'd realize what she wanted when he saw her. Did she have to spell it out?
Apparently so.
"Nick, I've been doing a lot of thinking about—about this afternoon."
"You should get a glass of milk. That will help you sleep."
She glared at him. "Sleep won't take care of my problem."
"You're sick? Tell me what's wrong."
She was so irritated, she considered heading back to her bedroom. But she loved this hardheaded man. She might not have a future with him, but she would have memories…if he'd cooperate. Instead of speaking, she untied the silken cord of her robe and let the long-sleeved garment fall to the floor, leaving her in a slip of a sheer nightgown.
Nick took another step back and swallowed. Then, his voice hoarse, he said, "Liza, I warned you I don't have as much control as I thought. You need to go to your room and I'll call
Bonnie to—"
"I don't want Bonnie," she assured him, her chin rising. "I want you."
"No, you—What did you say?"
"Do I have to beg?"
"You want me? You mean—"
"I should've worn one of those advertising sandwich boards with my message spelled out in bright red letters. Then maybe you'd finally catch on."
"Honey, I told you there's no—We can't—Damn!"
Much to her relief, he stopped talking and took her into his arms. She pressed against him, her arms sliding inside his robe, up his bare chest. She loved the feel of him.
"Are you sure?"
She liked their way of communicating without words. She kissed him.
He got the message.
In seconds, he'd swept her into his arms and carried her to his bed, laid her down and stretched out beside her. His kiss was deep, long-lasting, hot, demanding, all the things she liked. She tried to match his ardor.
"Your robe," she complained when she came up for air. She'd pushed it back from his chest, but she wanted it out of the way.
"Liza, I sleep in the nude," he whispered, his cheeks turning red.
Her gaze lit up. Perfect. She reached for his belt. Before she could undo it, he said, "I think you should join me."
At least he wasn't resisting anymore. She gladly slipped from her gown, but her gaze remained fixed on him, watching him rid himself of his robe.
Then they came together so quickly, so wildly, she knew he'd been honest when he said he wanted her. Her heart sang as she explored his body while he explored hers.
Just when she was sure she could wait no longer for the ultimate togetherness, he pulled back.
"What?" she asked, barely able to speak.
"I'm not prepared!"
Not prepared. "But you said you wanted me."
"Damn it, Liza, I don't have any condoms. I haven't—It's been a long time for me."
Liza closed her eyes so he couldn't see the pain that struck her. But she whispered, "It's okay. I'm protected."
Much to her pleasure, Nick didn't hesitate after that. He fulfilled every fantasy she'd ever had about sharing such intimacies with the one man in the world she loved. The one man she'd always love. If she hadn't been sure of that before, she was sure of it afterward, when they lay beside each other, breathing deeply, still wrapped in the oneness they'd shared.
"Nick," she whispered.
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her gently.
Then, in a gravelly voice, he said, "Go to sleep, honey."
Much to her surprise, she did.
* * *
When the alarm went off the next morning, Nick quickly hit the sleep button, then shut off the alarm. He'd slept better than he had in years, and the temptation to pull Liza close again and go back to sleep was strong.
But if Bonnie didn't hear the shower, she'd be up the stairs to see what was wrong. He figured Liza would be horribly embarrassed if the housekeeper caught her in his bed.
"Do we have to get up?" Liza mumbled.
"Sorry, honey. I do, but you can sleep late." He kissed those soft lips.
She opened those green eyes before closing them again and meeting his kiss more than halfway.
"Liza, I don't have a lot of time," he said as the kiss ended. "Tonight—"
"Then you'd better hurry," she said before kissing him again.
With that offer, he didn't hesitate, especially since holding her had him already aroused.
Afterward he left her in his bed, dozing off, and ran for the shower. It was hard to leave after he'd dressed, though. Just seeing her in his bed brought a big smile to his face.
When he heard Bonnie coming up the stairs, he had no choice. He reached the top of the stairs the same time she did.
"I was wondering where you were. Your eggs are getting cold," she warned.
"No problem." He thought about warning Bonnie not to bother with his room today, but he knew it would make her curious. He decided to leave well enough alone and hope Liza woke up before Bonnie started her upstairs cleaning.
* * *
Liza felt calmer, safe, wanted, more than she ever had. She'd spent the day helping Bonnie with her cleaning, then retreating to the living room where the piano was.
When she'd been younger, before she'd made her first record and begun touring, she'd written songs. In the past few years, though, the music had disappeared. But today it bubbled up in her, trying to break out.
Curious, and pleased, she wanted to explore what was happening. She played with the tunes that were whirling in her brain, adding words that spoke of love, with Nick's image in her head.
She was still at it when she heard Nick's voice. She sprang up from the piano bench and headed for the back door, throwing herself into his arms when she reached him.
Nick held her close, and the fear she'd hidden all day that he might not want her again was wiped away.
"I missed you," he whispered.
"I was afraid you'd be tired of me," she returned, her lips touching his neck.
Laughter rumbled through him. "You're crazy."
"Yes. Oh, Nick, come let me show you," she pleaded, excitement in her voice as she took his hand and tugged him toward the living room.
She sat down at the piano and played and sang her new song, as proud as a newborn baby's mother. "Do you like it?"
"I love it, but I've never heard it before. Have you recorded it?"
"Oh, Nick, you don't understand. I wrote it today."
He appeared stunned. "In one day?"
"Sometimes that's the way it happens. When I'm very happy, or sometimes when I'm very sad, I hear melodies in my head."
He pulled her up from the piano bench. "Can I assume it's happiness that inspired you today?" he whispered, wrapping his arms around her.
"Oh, yes," she returned and lifted her lips to his.
When he broke off the kiss, he whispered, "Let's go upstairs."
"Won't Bonnie think—"
"I'll take care of Bonnie. Go on up. I'll be right there."
Liza was thrilled that he would want her so soon. With a quick kiss on his lips, she beamed at him and raced up the stairs. All day she'd thought of him. Had she finally found the one person in the world to love? A man who would love her in return?
He'd said they had no future, but he'd loved her like they had one. Maybe, with time, he'd realize how perfect they were together.
* * *
Nick strolled into the kitchen. He liked Bonnie, maybe even loved her like a mother, but he wasn't going to let her control his behavior.
"Evening, Nick. You're home a little early. When do you want dinner?" she asked, scarcely looking up from whatever she was doing.
"Not for a while. Bonnie, Liza and I are going upstairs for a while. We'll come down when we're ready." In other words, don't bother us. He hoped she got the message.
With a big smile, she nodded. "No problem."
"You're not going to object?"
"If you're both happy, I am. And it's about time, I think." She looked up at him. "Tomorrow, shall I move her clothes to your room?"
Well, that was certainly cutting to the chase. But he didn't even have to think about his answer. "Yeah, that'll be great, if it's what Liza wants."
Then he hurried upstairs.
* * *
Friday night, Bonnie went to the movies with her friend.
For the first time, Nick and Liza had the house to themselves. Even though Bonnie had tried not to get in their way, they'd also tried to be circumspect, not going to bed until a proper hour.
Tonight, Nick allowed Liza to eat, but then he took her hand and pulled her upstairs.
"But, Nick," she protested, sounding scandalized, "it's only six o'clock."
He pulled her into his arms as they reached the top of the stairs and kissed her. "You don't want me?" he pouted.
"Of course I do, silly," she returned, beaming at him. Her enthusiasm was one of her endearing qualit
ies, among others, that he loved. "But it's still daylight outside."
"It's getting dark. We're approaching winter. You don't mind winter, do you?"
"No, of course not. I like snow."
"Good. And we have short days, which is good if you only want to have sex when it's dark. Winter will become my favorite season."
He grinned when she slapped his shoulder and complained, "Oh, you!"
"Come on, I'm in a hurry!"
Later, they lay in his big bed, wrapped in each other's arms, sated for the moment.
Stroking her soft skin, he murmured, "I think I owe you a big thank-you."
She looked at him with a smile. "Well, I was good, I'll admit, but you were just as good." Her teasing look delayed their conversation because Nick couldn't resist kissing her, several times.
Then he snuggled her up against him. "No, I meant for giving me back my belief in life. I'd dreamed of having a houseful of children and a loving wife, a life like my parents. But after Daphne…well, I wasn't sure I'd ever feel optimistic about anything."
When she didn't move or speak, he looked down at her. "Liza? Are you okay?"
"Yes," she answered, her voice weak. "Are you hungry again? Bonnie bought ice cream today and fixings for sundaes."
"In a little while. Have you thought about having children? I know you're younger than me, but—"
"Quit saying that! You're not old." Then she slid on top of him and encouraged him to prove his strength and virility.
He couldn't refuse that invitation, so their conversation got sidetracked.
But he brought it up again when they were eating the ice-cream sundaes Liza had made an hour later. "You didn't ever answer my question. Have you thought of having children?"
"Yes."
He frowned. There was no enthusiasm in her voice. He opened his mouth to ask her what was wrong, but she spoke before he could.
"I gather you want children?"
He smiled, staring into the distance. "Oh, yeah. My parents were so looking forward to grandchildren. My sister and one of my brothers both had children before Mom and Dad died. But I'd still like to have kids. To carry on the family, yes, but more than that. I want to teach my son to fish, like my dad taught me. And I'd love a little girl to cuddle, to take to dancing lessons…to walk her down the aisle when I finally have to give her up. But he'd better be good to her!" he added fiercely.
The Doctor Delivers Page 11
