by T. J. Hope
He found his pants on the floor, and reached in the pocket to retrieve a condom. He fumbled to put it on, while biting his lower lip with the anticipation of being inside of her. Finally, he tried to enter her. Jamika tensed up. He felt too big for her, and it was painful. “No Mark, it hurts.”
“Shhh… just relax, Meek. Just relax,” he said.
She tried to relax, but he still felt too big for her. She couldn’t understand. She’d had sex with both Marquis and Zahrice, and she’d never felt so uncomfortable, as well as embarrassed.
He began to kiss her all over. He kissed her face, her lips, her breasts and then he headed down to her thighs. Then he let his tongue explore her most intimate spot. Jamika felt her body relaxing. He stayed there licking and sucking her for a while, exciting passion in Jamika that she didn’t know she could muster. She wanted him inside of her badly.
Then, he again tried to enter her, and this time it was right. Jamika grabbed him so tightly she was sure that she would bruise him. They moved in a smooth, continuous motion, and Jamika never remembered sex being this enjoyable. She felt the heat of his breath in her ear, as he said things she’d never heard him say to her before. There was a passionate exchange with every stroke. As full as her vagina was with him, so was her heart. Then she felt an uncontrollable urge to explode. She heeded to the feeling, and at the same time felt Mark’s body go limp. This was the first time she’d ever had an orgasm. They lie there entangled in one another, trembling in each other’s arms.
This was indeed the best sexual experience that she’d ever had. She hadn’t realized it could feel so good to her; she always thought sex was meant to satisfy the guy. Yet, pure satisfaction is what she felt, as she lay there naked, next to Mark on the narrow couch.
Neither of them spoke a word, they just held onto one another in a comfortable silence. Then, they took turns washing up in the restroom. Jamika could not believe she’d just made love to Mark Rosier. Did this change things between them? Did he just want her for sex? Was sex with his girlfriend this passionate? She was full of questions that she was too confused to ask.
Jamika felt happy, yet exhausted as she lay with her head in Mark’s lap. She felt herself drifting off to sleep, when she felt Mark’s finger caressing her cheek. She opened her eyes to see him staring at her. He said softly, “I knew you would be the best. I just knew it.”
Jamika did not respond. She just let her eyes close as she drifted off into dreams that the eggnog would leave clouded from her memory.
When she awoke, she found herself lying on a soft pillow, beneath a warm blanket. Mark had already gone home, but his presence was still there, as real as the soft comforter spread across her bare, dark skin. She smiled to herself as she remembered the previous night’s escapades. She touched the new gold necklace and charm around her neck, just to make sure that it had not all been a dream.
Chapter Eleven
Over the next year, Jamika and Mark remained close. Jamika had grown accustomed to being Mark’s lover and friend. Although at times, it would bother her that she was good enough for sex, and going out, but he still had not offered to be her boyfriend.
The Broward County Youth Fair was in town. Thanksgiving was the night that teenagers and young adults came out in masses to attend.
Jamika wore a tight fitting pair of Chenille jeans with a red, spaghetti strapped matching Chenille shirt. Her red and white Lady Jordan’s were fresh out of the box. She was going to represent Mark right that night at the fair. She applied her lipstick and hummed along to, “Red Light Special” by TLC escaping her stereo, feeling like the princess she always became when she was out with Mark. She knew he would be looking good, like always.
“Mika… telephone!” yelled Felise.
“I got it!” Jamika yelled back over the music, while picking up her bedroom telephone. “Hello?”
“Wassup, Meek?” Mark asked.
“Hey, wassup, Mark?”
“Listen, I have to babysit my niece tonight. I’m not going to be able to make it to the fair,” he said. Jamika was really disappointed. “Well, maybe I could come over there and—” Mark interrupted her, “No. I’ll just see you tomorrow; we’ll go see a movie or something.”
“Why did you wait until the last minute to call me? I could have found another ride.”
“Sorry about that. I was trying to get out of it. I’ll make it up to you, you know that.”
“Yeah, I know. All right then, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
They’d planned this night for over two weeks and she had gotten her hair freshly done, her eyebrows freshly arched, and bought new clothes and shoes to go with him. She decided she could not be upset, since he had to babysit.
She decided to find out if Monie and Shaquita had left yet. She was sure they would be going to the fair tonight, as well. She called Millie’s house and the phone rang and rang. She was about to hang up when she heard Monie answer out of breath, “Hello.”
“Hey girl.”
Monie sounded irritated. “Meek, this better be good, we are on our way to the fair. I just ran a marathon to get to this phone. I thought it was Jesse. I’m too big to be doing all this damn runnin’.”
Jamika giggled, “Your ass need to run some.”
“You are about to talk to Mr. Click in about two seconds, wassup?”
“I need a ride. Mark can’t go.”
“We’re on the way, be outside.”
“Alright, thanks cuz.”
The fair was enchanting. Jamika loved all the lights, rides, games and carnival foods. The crowd was large as it was every year on Thanksgiving night. Shaquita had collected more than her share of phone numbers from guys. “Look! The Enterprise!” Shaquita exclaimed, gesturing to the popular carnival ride.
“Oh hell naw, I ain’t getting on that shit,” Monie said.
“I’ll go on with you, Kita. You know Monie is scared,” teased Jamika.
They walked over to stand in line for the ride. “Yeah, she scared alright. Scared that the ride might not hold her big ass,” Shaquita joked.
“I’m big and beautiful. I just don’t want to wrinkle up my gear, don’t get it fucked up,” Monie said, smiling. She didn’t take much offense to fat jokes.
“Yeah right,” jumped in Jamika. “Are you sure you ain’t scared you gonna drop those elephant ears? How many of those you gonna eat?”
“Hey Meek,” Monie said, ignoring Jamika’s question, “I thought you said Mark couldn’t come.”
“He couldn’t, he had to babysit his niece.”
“Shit, he must have a twin or a niece his age, ‘cause I’ll be damned if that don’t look like Mark up there,” Monie said.
Jamika looked toward where Monie was pointing and there was Mark standing in line, smiling and looking handsome as usual. “Maybe, his sister found another sitter at the last minute,” Jamika said, confused.
“No. Maybe your ass just got played. He is with somebody else, girl,” Shaquita said, annoyed by how naïve Jamika was at times.
“Well, we are not a couple or anything,” Jamika said, trying to downplay her hurt and embarrassment.
“Fuck that; he’s fucking you and he straight up lied to you,” Shaquita instigated.
“Yeah, you’re right, Kita. I’ll be right back.”
Jamika figured she would go up and say hello, just so he’d be aware that she saw him there. She figured he would go ahead and explain everything to her. She walked up to him and his companion with a sexy, yet sarcastic, “Hey Mark.”
He looked a little surprised, and then answered in a monotone voice, “Hi Jamika. Wassup?” Jamika immediately knew something was up. Mark hadn’t called her Jamika for as long as she could remember.
“Can I holla at you for a minute?” Jamika asked, not to get the mystery girl involved. “Hell no!” shouted the girl, “Who are you anyway? You got some nerve walking up to my man, demanding things,” she stated. Jamika looked at Mark. He did not attempt to defend her.
&n
bsp; He turned to the girl and said, “Baby, this is Jamika. She’s an old friend. Take it easy, I told you about acting like that.”
“Sorry. She doesn’t look like your type anyway; I don’t know why I was tripping.”
Jamika knew that the girl was absolutely correct. Jamika’s skin was too dark, hair too short, and she wore sized 11/12 clothing. Jamika was a definite contrast to the girl, who was a classic Mark pick. She was light-skinned, with natural hair that fell way beyond her shoulders. She had a small waist, and looked to be a perfect size 6.
Jamika wanted to explode, but why make a fool of herself? She’d known all along that Mark must have had someone, somewhere. She just never thought he’d lie to her or put another girl before her. She had once again played the fool. She started to wonder if she was capable of being loved or truly cared for by anyone of the opposite sex. Every male she’d ever cared for had wronged her, or left her in one way or another. Mark had joined that list. She decided that from that night forth, she would never trust another male. She would protect her heart with a wall of stone.
“Next,” the ride attendant was saying.
“That’s us, baby,” said the girl. Mark glanced at Jamika briefly, but could not bring his eyes to meet hers. The girl noticed this also and decided to taunt Jamika a little more. “Just so you don’t get any ideas. I have been with Mark for two years, and I am not going anywhere. So, find someone else’s man to bat those brown eyes at, uh… What’s your name again? Oh yes, Jamika. How ghetto!” Then she followed Mark to sit on the ride with her perfect body, perfect hair and perfect walk.
Jamika walked back over to where Monie and Shaquita stood questioning her about the incident. “I told Monie to let me the hell go. Was that Barbie bitch trying you cuz, ‘cause you know I don’t mind kicking a little ass tonight?” Shaquita said, all worked up at how her cousin had obviously been played.
Jamika felt so ugly at that moment, not to mention used. She couldn’t answer their questions because her throat and mouth felt dry. She looked up on the ride to see the couple huddled together enjoying themselves. She wanted to throw up. “Let’s go home now,” was all she could manage.
Monie and Shaquita were having too much fun. They looked at her as if she’d lost her mind. Monie said, “Cuz, forget him. You need to go ahead and try some of this weed.”
“I told y’all I don’t do that.”
“You drink. That’s way worse than weed. Try it; you’ll forget about that nigga in seconds,” Shaquita said, agreeing with Monie.
“Fuck it, light it up.” Jamika could not believe those words had just left her mouth. They got out of line and went behind a ride that was closed for repairs. Monie pulled out a joint rolled in Backwoods cigar paper and began to light it. “Let me get this shit burnin’ right for you cuz,” Monie said, through a voice choked off from the smoke she’d inhaled. She took two quick puffs from the joint and passed it to Jamika.
Jamika looked at the joint and then at her cousins, who were both looking at her expectantly. Jamika wanted to change her mind at that moment, but knew that if she did, she would never hear the end of it. She put the joint to her lips, and inhaled the herbal smoke. The smoke burned her throat, and she began a hard cough that felt like it was going to bring her lungs up with it.
“Take it easy, Meek. You pullin’ it too hard,” Shaquita said with a giggle.
“Okay…pull on it until your mouth fills with smoke, then inhale it slowly, just like you’re taking a slow deep breath, then just blow it out,” instructed Monie.
All of the coughing made Jamika lightheaded. She followed Monie’s instructions, and this time she did not cough. She pulled it again, inhaled and exhaled. “Pass that shit, you’re getting greedy already,” joked Shaquita. Jamika passed the joint over to Shaquita. She felt calm and relaxed, and wondered why it had taken her so long to try it.
“How do you feel?” asked Monie.
“Lov-e-ly,” Jamika replied. Both of her cousins burst out into laughter. Jamika began laughing too.
“Okay, Ms. Lovely, let’s go back out there and have some fun,” said Monie. Jamika checked herself in her compact mirror. She felt a surge of confidence as she studied her reflection. It seemed as if her own beauty caught her by surprise. Her eyes looked pink and glossy.
“Give me some Visine,” said Jamika.
“For what?” Your momma ain’t here, everybody get high,” Monie said. They walked back out into the open and Jamika started to feel like she was the prettiest girl there. The marijuana had her on a real “high”. She put on her “I know I’m fine walk”, her flirtatious smile, and giggled with her cousins about the smallest things. As she walked along, she noticed people with the same glossy look in their eyes. Monie was right; a lot of people did get high.
“I’m hungry,” said Jamika.
“Those munchies coming down on yo’ ass,” Shaquita said. They all burst out laughing again. Jamika loved this feeling. She felt closer to her cousins than she had in a long time. “Look at those niggaz over by the concession stand,” Shaquita said, gesturing to a group of guys.
“There’s niggaz everywhere in this mutha,” commented Monie.
“Yeah, but they all ain’t doin’ it like them. All those niggaz shoes expensive and their jewelry is blinding me. Them ain’t no damn cubic zirconia. I can see the knots in their pockets from here. That’s money over there.”Shaquita said.
“You need help,” commented Jamika. “Come on,” Shaquita said, pulling Jamika by the hand. Monie rolled her eyes and followed.
As they got closer, Jamika sucked her teeth. “That’s Philip and his crew. I know most of those niggaz from Dillard. I want to meet some new niggaz,” complained Jamika. “Good, you can introduce me,” Shaquita said, ignoring the last part of Jamika’s comment.
They had already reached the crowd of guys when Jamika noticed Mark and his companion near the front of the line waiting. Jamika decided to act like she did not see them. “Damn Jamika!” said a voice, interrupting her thoughts. She looked up to see Philip Washington smiling at her.
Philip was the color of mocha coffee; he wore short dreadlocks, and was built like a linebacker. Philip’s father was a well-known drug kingpin. Philip drove a new car, never seemed to wear the same sneakers twice, and owned enough jewelry to open his own booth at the local mall. He was very attractive, but arrogant.
He’d tried to get with Jamika on various occasions at school, but he was out to make conquests and Jamika knew this. “You are looking good as hell,” he continued, “we ain’t at school now; you need to stop playin’ and holla at me.” Jamika noticed that his eyes also looked glossy.
“Philip, you know I don’t get down with you like that,” answered Jamika.
“Damn girl, you act like I’m going to do something to you. I just want to take you out, show you a good time, and show your thick ass off, you know?”
Jamika smiled at that. She glanced up the line quickly, to see Mark watching her. “Why don’t you introduce your friend to my brother here?” asked Philip. Jamika looked at Shaquita, who stood there like she hadn’t been waiting to be introduced.
Jamika took a mental note of how pretty Shaquita had become over the years. Shaquita was dark, yet bronzed. She had a small frame, and was petite at about 5’2”. That night she wore Tommy jeans that flared out over her sneakers, with a Tommy crocheted shirt, which was shoulder less on one side. Her weave job was doing her justice. She knew Shaquita was eager to be introduced.
The brother looked almost to be Philip’s twin, except he was a little taller, and sported a short, tapered haircut. “These are my cousins, Shaquita and Monie,” she said.
“What’s up, ladies?” Philip said in a seductive voice. “This is my brother, Dick.”
All three of the girls burst out laughing at that. “Damn, y’all laughing at a nigga name?” Dick said, laughing himself. The girls were still laughing. “Yeah, y’all on some other shit, y’all smoke out?” he asked.
“Damn right!” Monie jumped in. This was the first time she’d spoken since they approached the guys.
“Well, how about we take you girls for some real food? We got a hotel room on Miami Beach; we can eat and then smoke ‘til y’all tired. We got some cards, dominoes and shit. Y’all ain’t got to worry about buyin’ no weed,” said Dick.
“That sounds good to me,” said Monie.
“Yeah, that’s cool,” said Shaquita, backing her up.
Jamika looked at them with a skeptical eye and said, “Excuse us. Let me holla at my people for a minute.” The three cousins stepped out of ear’s reach of the guys.
“Do y’all want to go with these niggaz for real?” asked Jamika.
“Hell yeah! Free food, free weed, and fine niggaz with flow, I’m down.” Shaquita said.
“Your ass is always down. You down with this too, Monie?”
“Girl, you don’t get offers like every day. Them are some big time niggaz over there. They can get any girl they want out here, and they want to take us. Damn Meek, don’t start trippin’ on us and shit,” Monie said.
“I know two of them from school, and they doggish as hell,” argued Jamika.
“We ain’t going to fuck ‘em, we going to eat and burn love,” Monie rebutted.
“Speak fo’ yourself, if the right amount of cheddar is involved, I am down fo’ whateva,” Shaquita said, matter of factly.
“You are a hoe,” Jamika and Monie stated in unison.
“A paid hoe at that!” Shaquita said with a wicked smile.
They walked back over to the guys. Philip was the first to speak. “So, y’all rollin’ wit’ us or what?”
Jamika looked past Philip to see that Mark and his girl had made it up to place their order. The girl was placing the order and Mark was looking back at Jamika as if he wanted to say something. The girl looked up at Mark, then at Jamika, then back at Mark again. Jamika made sure Mark heard her when she announced loud and clear, “Yes, we’ll roll with y’all.”
“Let’s roll then,” said Philip, excited.
