“You’ve been sleeping with Greg?” Itsy gasped.
I was so close to saying no, we’d never slept together, but yeah, we’d done that, too. Eventually, several times. The nights we paused long enough to talk. We held each other and spilled damn near everything.
“Yes. Sleeping, sexing, talking, holding, kissing. All of it.”
“How long?”
“U-uh,” I stuttered. “About six months.”
“Cassidy,” Itsy scolded.
“I know, I know but I needed him. I needed sex so badly that first time I just let my body talk for me.”
“Why would you need sex when you have Eddie? Why not go to him?”
“Because he couldn’t… He can’t maintain… He has a problem staying hard!” I wailed. “And I was so tired of unwilling tongue! I just wanted to feel a damn dick inside me so badly I just let Greg fuck me in that elevator! It was supposed to be a one-time thing, you know. Fuck and move on. All I knew was his first name and that was all he knew of me. Next thing I know, I was putting a condom on him and he was making me feel like my body was soaring. I’d never had it so good. Not since my first.”
Itsy sighed. “And after that?”
“After, sure, I regretted it, but I still missed him. I… I can’t explain it. I did know I wanted that experience again, but I had no idea how to get it. I had no idea who he was, and I was mad at myself for being more upset that I didn’t know him than I was for cheating on Eddie.”
“And the day of your first rehearsal for Samantha’s first dance…”
“My breath caught in my throat and it choked me. I had no idea he was in that band or that you all knew him. I couldn’t believe he was there, playing and singing with the others. I avoided him and never let myself be alone with him. Then the night of the wedding, he just… and I… God, I wanted him so badly. Everything Greg said was true. He and I had hot, sweaty sex in that bathroom and agreed to be fuck buddies until we both agreed that we no longer wanted to be.”
“So from Sammi’s wedding to now you’ve been constant with Greg?”
“No, I avoided him for a couple of months. After we had sex in the bathroom, I talked with you about Jay’s father and I felt your pain, Itsy, and I couldn’t be the one to inflict that on anyone so I decided to leave Greg alone, and if he was near, if I saw him anywhere, I went the other way.”
“Until?”
I sniffed, blew my nose, then rested my head on the wall. “Until I viewed his parents’ home. My agent had a family emergency and had to go. She got Greg to show me around. I walked around that home and loved everything in it. I wanted to move in that second, as is, then Greg walked in and totally took me by surprise. I rarely saw Eddie, so I wasn’t even getting his tongue, and there was Greg and I just… just… caved and had one of the most… most… incredible nights of my life!”
“I see. So what’s got you crying and sad today? Did Greg say he wanted to end it?”
“Well, where do I begin? Let’s see… Last night Eddie called, just as I was going to meet Greg and asked me to come home. I got there and he fucked me like… like… a whore! I loved damn near every second of it! Then today, I see Greg all but fucking that Trina woman on the dance floor and I got so damn angry, I shouted at Kerri when she said the two of them disappeared last night, after I canceled our meeting. And just now, Greg asks…no, he demands to know if I canceled with him to fuck Eddie. Then he demanded that no one touches me but him! Oh! Oh! Then he demands that I meet him in an hour, and if I don’t show, he was going to come find me!”
Itsy was quiet for a while, then she patted my shoulder as she softly said, “Okay, I’m still not understanding why you’re sitting on the floor crying your eyes out. Is it that you’re confused about who you want to be with? Are you mad because you got jealous that Greg may have slept with another woman? Or is it because you’ve been cheating on Eddie?”
“I don’t know what it is. Well, maybe I do. I swear it’s because I’m stupid and made a huge mistake.”
“What mistake, Cass?”
“I should never have let Greg touch me. Eddie’s working so much just to buy me a ring, and what do I do? I fuck a guy and I keep meeting up with him secretly and enjoying myself while my boyfriend works his fingers to the nubs. What is wrong with me?”
“It sounds like you’re in love, sweetie. And very confused because of it.”
“I’m not confused about being in love with Eddie.” I frowned. “Eddie has been in my heart for years. Why would that be confusing?”
I frowned as Itsy stood and gripped the knob as she opened the door to a bathroom.
“I’m not talking about Eddie,” she said in a sigh. “I think you fell for Greg and didn’t realize it. That’s why you were upset about him and ‘that Trina woman.’ Sweetie, you have to think on this and pick who’s right for you, because it sounds like they both want you, love you. And you have less than hour to do it. If I know Greg, he will come looking for you in an hour if you’re not at your rendezvous spot. He is no nonsense and hates drama. This has got to be wrecking him. Think fast, sweetie. Call me later if you need to.”
I sighed as I watched her walk into the bathroom. Poor girl had lost her fucking mind. Greg wanted me? Loved me? Right. I’ve never known such bullshit, and I’d seen plenty of it on the Murphys’ farm.
No, I couldn’t even think about Greg. Eddie was my world. My life. My all. I needed to find him, tell him what I’ve done and pray hard he could forgive me. I wasn’t sure I could forgive him if he’d done that to me, but I had to at least try. Now.
I stood and ran out the door, looking around for Eddie. I couldn’t find him. I searched everywhere, then my gaze landed on a crying Lala. I ran to her and tried to make out what was wrong.
“Why today?” she whimpered as Stone held her.
“I don’t know, baby, but please calm down,” Stone murmured as he held her. He frowned and looked at me. “I’ll get to the bottom of this as soon as I talk to Greg.”
Greg? What the…
“What’s happened?” I asked softly as I rubbed Lala’s back.
“Oh, God, Cassidy! Eddie and Greg,” Lala whimpered as she gripped my hand. “Honey, they were fighting!”
I gasped. “Fighting? With fists?”
“Yeah.” Stone nodded. I looked down at his once pristine white shirt and saw blood. “Hey, Cassidy? Any idea why your boyfriend and that guy were fighting?”
“No,” I answered fast. “I have no idea why Eddie would fight anyone. What was said?”
Stone smirked and shook his head.
“Nothing.” Kerri sighed. “Eddie walked up to Greg as he was going toward the makeshift parking area and cut him one across his jaw.”
“What?” I startled. “Why?”
“You should know.” Stone frowned. “Or at the very least, find out and fix this.”
“Why would Cass know, Stone?” Lala whimpered. “She wasn’t even out here when it happened.”
“That’s why I told her to go find out. She should be the one to fix this. Right, Cassidy?” Stone asked, his eyes cold as he glared accusingly at me.
Shit. He knew something. Did Greg tell him anything about us?
“Yeah.” I nodded, then swallowed hard. “I need to find Eddie.”
“I thought that’s what you were going to say.” Stone huffed. “I told Greg he was a fucking fool.”
I stilled as I stared at Stone. He did know. But… what was Greg a fool about?
Lala frowned and wiped her face. “Why are you sounding hostile to my friend, Stone? I’m getting confused on top of being upset. I don’t like it. What am I missing?”
“Nothing, baby,” Stone said quickly.
“I’m sorry about this. I’ll fix it and soon. Like now.” I kissed her cheek and smiled. “Now relax and dance with your husband until the little one exhausts you.”
“What?” Lala yawned. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m well rested and wide awake.”
“Did anyone see where Eddie went?”
“I kicked him and Greg outta here,” Stone scoffed. “Separately, of course. Upsetting my wife on her wedding day the way they did. They’re lucky I didn’t kick their asses first.”
I nodded as the bride and groom went to the dance floor. I reached into my purse for my keys, ready to race to my car and speed off to find out where the hell my boyfriend was and what his problem was with Greg.
“Cassidy? I need to speak with you.”
I turned and looked right into the face of my boss, Sam Forrest. I had a feeling by his tone that he was all business and whatever he had to say was not going to be good for me.
I blinked, swallowed hard and nodded. “What can I do for you, Mr. Forrest?”
“Sam, not now. Not ever,” Shauna pleaded. “Please. Don’t do this to her, especially here. Reconsider.”
“No, I can’t, Shauna.” Sam sighed, then looked back at me. “Cassidy, were you involved with Allan Mitchell?”
“No.” I frowned. “I don’t know an Allan Mitchell.”
“See? She doesn’t know him.” Shauna laughed nervously. “So let’s go home and kiss the twins and J.J. good night, honey.”
Sam didn’t budge. “Allan is Greg’s real name. Allan Gregory Mitchell. Or Gore, as the others call him.”
I gasped. Oh, no… no, no, no!
Blinking again, I remembered him telling me during one of our times together how Ren gave him that nickname because of his love of all things horror. The grislier the better, he said. We even attempted to watch a favorite of his, and I just couldn’t. I made him shut it off after only ten minutes and play Evolution. Whoever made The Hills Have Eyes needed to seek a black couch, immediately.
I nodded, then braced myself. “Yes,” I answered softly as I felt what was about to happen. “We were intimate with each other.”
“I’m assuming you read the company’s rules and regulations book I gave you, and you understand our policies at Forrest and Associates, specifically of relationships between clients and employees?”
“Yes, Mr. Forrest,” I whispered, trying to keep it together. I dropped my head as a tear rolled down my cheek.
“Sam, please don’t. She didn’t know. She thought his name was Greg. She had no idea his name was Allan. Hell, I didn’t know until I arrested the boys, and I’d known him for five years, at least. She did not know he was a client of yours.”
“She still violated policy, knowing his name or not. Cassidy, I’m sorry, but I have to terminate your employment with us. I’ll offer you a month’s severance and a glowing recommendation.”
“I understand, Mr. Forrest,” I whined, then took a deep breath. “I broke policy and I have to pay. I’ll find something else, hopefully soon. Umm… If you’ll excuse me, I have to… go.”
I ran off, hearing Shauna tell Sam he could’ve given me probation or something. I didn’t hear his response. I was too busy running to my car, wanting to keep it together before attempting to drive.
I got into the car, crying hard into my hands. It took me several minutes, but I finally managed to pull it together and somberly drive off, wishing I could start the day over.
Chapter Fifteen
The Truth Is…
I found Eddie in our apartment. I didn’t think I’d find him packing, but that’s just what he was doing. He moved like a Cullen, going around the bedroom and throwing things inside suitcases. I peeked into the second bedroom and saw his computer equipment already gone. I looked back at him as a chill went through me.
“Eddie?”
“Monday morning, I’m taking my name off the savings account and half of what’s in there. I’m keeping the Malibu and removing your name from the title. I want my name off the lease here. Keep everything. I never, ever want to lay eyes on any of this shit, or you, again. I’m being far more generous to you than you deserve.”
“What?” I gasped, rapidly moving to his side as he grabbed his things from a drawer. “What’s happening, Eddie? Stop moving and talk to me!”
“Get away from me now, Cassidy. I don’t want to talk to you. I want to beat the shit out of you. I need to leave before I do something… Just get the fuck away from me!”
“No! Eddie, please, stop and talk to me! We can fix whatever is wrong here. Please!”
Eddie finally stopped moving and glared at me as his anger-filled eyes narrowed. “You think you can un-fuck that fool? How long have you been fucking that Greg? A week? Two? Months? What?”
I startled. How the hell did he find out? Damn. My dumbass thought was he was angry over Greg spilling champagne on my dress, but that wouldn’t explain why he’d leave me.
My lips went dry and I nervously licked them. “What are you talking about, Ed?” I asked quietly.
Eddie’s face went red and he turned into someone I’d had no idea existed, especially in that mind and body. I’d never seen him this angry. Gone was my Eddie, the sweet, caring, thoughtful man I fell for a month after meeting him when he and his friends drove up to the fast food window I was working at in good old Iowa.
“I fucking heard you! And so did several others! You fucked that guy and came home and got in my bed! Did you fuck him here, too? In the bed we bought together?”
I shuddered at his rant. Crying, I tried to calm him. I spoke in a low, even tone, hoping he would hear my pleading through his anger.
“No, I didn’t, Eddie, please believe that. It was just a sex thing, but I promise it was never here. I couldn’t do that to you. I needed it, and you couldn’t help me so I found someone who would, who could.”
“And now?” He tilted his head as his eyes iced over. “What, you’re supposed to leave me and take up with him?”
“No,” I shouted. “I just… I don’t know where this was going or what he thought we were. Please believe that. I had an itch, and he scratched it. That’s it. We had no feelings for or about one another. Please believe me, Eddie, it was only sex. Nothing more. I never had any thought or intention to leave you. Tell me you believe me.”
“NOT ONE SYLLABLE!” Eddie shouted and went back to packing. “No way in hell you could ever fuck anyone just for fuck’s sake. You made me wait months for a fucking kiss, and now you say you just ‘had an itch?’ Biggest load of shit I’ve ever heard!”
“I needed male-female sex, Eddie, and all you offered was a few swipes with your tongue, and you didn’t even enjoy doing that with me. Sure I got off, but I also needed to feel a man inside me, and you wouldn’t… you even refused to use the vibrator that we picked out together! I’m a normal red-blooded woman! I have needs! Why can’t you understand that?”
“You and I were in a relationship, and you violated that when you first laid with him! You should have come to me and said you found someone who was more in tuned with your wants and needs instead fucking around behind my fucking back! How the hell am I ever going to trust you again, Cassidy? Months, I’m betting this shit has been going on! God, I am a fucking fool!”
I wanted run to him and attempt to put my arms around him. His steel-like gaze put a stop to that fast at my first step. My face dropped and I whimpered.
“Eddie, please just talk to me. I’m so sorry. I won’t do it again. Please don’t leave me,” I cried. “I need you, Eddie, please forgive me.”
“You’re fucking a rocker who’s meeting your needs. What do you need me for? Not a thing. Well, I have needs, too. I need to get away from you, so just let me pack my shit and get the fuck out of your life.”
He fastened a suitcase, then opened another. Suddenly, he whirled around and gave me that glare, again.
“When I started delivering pizzas, I delivered to a house where that Greg answered the door wearing nothing but jeans and a huge fucking smile on his face. Was that smile because of you? Were you there?”
I said nothing, just gave him a pleading look, confirming I was there. That was the first time we spent the entire night together.
“This has been going on that fucking long?”
I stood silent, wanting to say ‘longer’ but I knew that would send him right over the edge.
“I’m out there ‘til three in the morning, delivering to sex-starved, high, drunk and dangerous fools, and all you could think to do was fuck some one-hit piece of shit fool?”
I dropped my head and sobbed. “Eddie, please. I’m so sorry… please. Don’t do this.”
“Why shouldn’t I? Everyone at that wedding knows by now what you and that ‘Gore’ have been up to! I’ll look like the biggest, stupidest jackass on the planet if I stay with you! I’m so glad I went to that fucking bar now!”
“Eddie, please don’t do this to me, to us. Please… I’m so sorry!” I gasped, gripping his waist. “Please think this over. We love each other. Please, Ed, think before you let us go. You were going to propose soon, remember?”
“Nothing to think about, Cassidy,” Eddie said, prying my arms from around him and then pushing me away. “That so-called joke he made… you and him in the bathroom… fuck! I was feeling very guilty for fucking around on you first, but then I realized you couldn’t give me what I was getting on the side. Like you, I have needs you can never, ever fill.”
I stood up straight and stared. I had to have heard him wrong.
“And about that proposing… I was going to officially do it next Saturday, even if I had the ring months ago. See, after I delivered to you and your lover, I was held up and immediately quit. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry. How could I have known you’d have the infamous ‘Gore’ to comfort you?” Eddie smirked. “So what did I do? After the worry you showed me, after being out all night thinking about that fucking gun in my face, I took a web job that I didn’t tell you about and charged them the amount the ring cost. I had the site done in three weeks, and I bought the fucking ring the day after I got paid. With my lover.”
There it was again, only this time he acted proud, especially when he said the word ‘lover.’ I glared at him, shaking. He was leaving me for taking on someone who could do his job, and much better than he ever did, and he already had a woman on the side? What the…
Despair: Book Two of the Negative Ion Series Page 19
