by May Dawson
Clearborn was wearing black shorts and a t-shirt. I hadn’t been aware the man owned any clothes besides those ceaseless khakis and white button-down shirt with rolled-up cuffs.
“Do you ever sleep, sir?” I asked.
“I’d rather the cadets think I don’t,” he admitted. “But yeah, I do. I just needed to get in here early today and do some work to get ready for the day.”
“Couldn’t sleep?”
“This whole thing with the alphas is a clusterfuck,”he admitted. “We don’t know who was involved with the Day for sure. Hell, just because a pack is involved doesn’t mean they all are. We don’t know who to trust.”
“I’m pretty sure,” he went on, “they’re going to want to remain the only ones with the power to shift. Otherwise, their deal with the Day is going to turn sour for them pretty quickly, if we ever find out who was involved.”
“They’ll want to protect their power.” My breath was beginning to come short, but I’d planned to push myself on this run anyway, hoping it would help clear my head.
For a man with little legs—at least comparatively—he was an awfully quick runner.
“I want you guys to head out this morning,” he said. “I know you could all use the chance to rest. But we can’t afford it. Can you be ready?”
I hesitated. “I need to tell you what happened in the field, sir.”
I blurted out the whole story as we ran laps around the quad. I looked at his face expecting to see anger and judgment, the same way my father would’ve reacted to such an epic leadership failure. Because no matter how complicated the situation might have been, in the end, I gave a direct order, and two of my team staged a straight-up coup.
“Okay,” he said, his voice level. “Well, that did not go well.”
“Are you sure you want me leading them again on another mission?” I said. “I mean, you need Silas… it’s his world… but I don’t know if you want us.”
“What would you say in my place?”
“I don’t know if I can be effective,” I confessed. Those words hurt to speak out loud, and they seemed to hang in the air between us as we panted around another lap.
“Mr. Hunt,” he said. “You listen as well as your team, apparently. I just asked you a question. Please take a minute and think about it and try to give me an intelligent answer.”
Despite his brusque words, he didn’t sound mad or even annoyed.
I wracked my brain. I didn’t know what I’d do in his position. I apparently didn’t even know what the fuck to do in my position.
But I couldn’t imagine Jensen or Tyson or Maddie coming to me one day after a failure and making them feel any worse for it.
“I guess I’d tell them to stop feeling sorry for themselves and figure out how to fix it.” I admitted.
“Great advice,” he said. “Say it again. What you said about not being sure you could be effective.”
I exhaled slowly. That had felt hard enough to say the first time, “I don’t know if I can be an effective leader for this team.”
“Then you’d better figure it out,” Clearborn said. “Because I’m not giving up on you or your team.”
The two of us came to a stop in the quad, both of us breathing hard.
“You’re going back in,” he told me. “I need Silas in the Greyworld, I need a team he already trusts backing him. This mission is too important to trust to another team, and I’m confident in you—and in them.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Oh, don’t thank me,” he said. “You guys would be better off having a summer vacation while some other team waded through the Greyworld.”
“We can’t take Chase away from Blake and Skyla,” I said.
“No,” he agreed. “I intend to keep Lex here too. With the Patrol Guard down, I’d like to have him as my right hand man. And Penn is hurt badly enough that he should stay back too.”
I glanced at him, and he said, “Temporarily. I’m not trying to poach them from your team.”
“It’s not that. It’s just not that long ago that we all thought you despised Lex.”
He shrugged. “Leadership can be complicated. We all fuck things up. Don’t we?” He clapped my shoulder. “Good luck out there.”
He glanced over his shoulder to tell me, “If I were you, I’d talk about whatever you need to talk about with your team. And eat a good breakfast. I’ll see you at ten-hundred for part two of the mission.”
Then he was gone, leaving me in the quad.
I never thought when he came here that he’d end up being the mentor that I would trust.
I went for one more trip around the quad, just to clear my head.
I needed to see Maddie before we went into the Greyworld.
Chapter Sixty-Nine
Maddie
When someone knocked on my door, I thought at first that it was some kind of trouble. I jolted out of bed and was halfway across the room before Jensen and Penn, sleeping on either side of me, even stirred.
When I pulled the door open, Rafe stood framed in the doorway. He was freshly showered and clean-shaven, his dark hair perfectly styled above that gorgeous face.
For a second, I felt relief. Then I remembered that Rafe was some kind of trouble.
“Do you want to talk?” he asked.
“I always want to talk,” I told him. I closed the door softly behind me so the guys could keep sleeping. The three of us already missed Tyson.
He led the way down the hallway, and no matter how much dread I felt about talking, I couldn’t help but stare at his nicely-shaped ass and broad shoulders. He’d dressed in his Physical Training gear from a typical academy day, so he was a familiar sight—but one I still enjoyed.
“Really? Ogling me when you’re in trouble?” He didn’t have to look back to catch me, apparently.
“I don’t know that I’d say ogling,” I corrected. “Or in trouble.”
“I would.”
“What’s with the PT gear?”
“I left my clothes behind for Ty,” he said. “It’s good to have extra sets.”
I followed him into his room. Being in here when we were going to have a serious conversation reminded me of the time I’d taken off my blouse with trembling fingers for that beating, and I said abruptly, “Do you think we could go somewhere else?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Of course.”
“You’re being so polite before the yelling starts.”
“I didn’t say there had to be yelling.” He scooped up two latte cups from the desk and a set of keys. “You can carry the bag. The little one—the rest is for the team.”
I peeked into the bag. “So you haven’t given up on us yet. You brought bagels.”
He sighed and didn’t answer me.
Together, we headed out into the pre-dawn light and up the trail that led to the guest houses. He unlocked the door of the guest house.
This place was full of memories too—of Tyson and I fighting back when it hurt him to be close to me.
The two of us sat at the kitchen table, unwrapping the breakfast sandwiches he’d brought for us and sipping from our drinks.
Finally he said, “I know I can be harsh sometimes.”
“I wouldn’t say harsh….”
“I would,” he said. “I’m not letting you off the hook for your part in this mess, don’t get too excited. But I was…gruff…at times when a smarter tact would have served better. I was raised a certain way, Maddie, but that’s not an excuse… I’m going to figure out how to change.”
“Sometimes,” he went on, “I admire Lex. He defused things before I could fuck them up a few times out there. Calmed people down. Got people to open up to him. I wish I was more like that.”
God, I broke Rafe. I felt stricken. This conversation was not at all like him. “I like you the way you are.”
“Well, and I like you the way you are, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for a few improvements,” he said, and the faint smile that curled his
lips made me feel better. Okay. Still Rafe. “I have notes, if you’d like them.”
“I’m sure you do, and I’m sure I’ll be on the receiving end of those notes whether I’d like them or not.”
It felt good to joke with him. It was a lot better than when we were yelling at each other in the temple.
“Lex isn’t coming with us this time,” he said. “So I need to figure out how to do that on my own. Calm things down, listen instead of barking orders. It’s not lost on me that things didn’t really go to shit until he left.”
He shook his head. “But even though I’m going to try to listen and be less harsh, in the end, if I give an order—I need the team to obey.”
“Clearborn’s giving us a second chance,” I said. “But there won’t be another.”
“There won’t be another chance at the Greyworld, either,” he said. “No one knows it like Silas. No one on this world knows much about it at all.”
“I can be a team player,” I said.
He scoffed at that, but tried to cover it by taking a sip of his coffee.
“What?” I demanded. “Jensen had pretty much the same reaction.”
He stilled. “You talked with Jensen? When?”
“Back in the Fae world. I have feelings about what happened too, you know.” I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and cleared my throat. “I realize I have some room for growth. I was the only one who could open the portal and it wasn’t fair of me to hold it hostage.”
This time, Rafe didn’t manage to cover his laugh.
“I’m trying to be open here,” I said, “and you’re not helping.”
“I know,” he said. “It was just such a perfect Maddie Northsea answer. I realize mistakes have been made, and I could draw a lesson from this, and that lesson will be as specific and narrow as possible…”
“I’ve changed a lot over the course of the last year,” I said.
“You have,” he admitted, “And you’ve changed us all too.”
“In good ways?” I asked. “Not just making you even more short-tempered and grouchy?”
“In the best ways,” he said. “We’re all better men because we know you.”
That was such a sweet thing to say.
“Rafe,” I said, “I know you said this couldn’t be cured with sex and a spanking.”
“No,” he said.
“But do you think we could do sex and a spanking anyway? Just for fun?” I flashed him a bright smile.
“Can I pretend that the spanking will have any impact whatsoever on your bratty ways?”
“I thought you had a twenty-four step plan.”
“Oh, I do. I do.”
I laughed when Rafe launched himself from his chair to throw me over his shoulder and carried me toward the stairs as if he were a barbarian.
I swayed along upside down, watching his ass and the floor moving beneath it. He carried me into a bedroom and threw me lightly onto a giant bed, with tall ornate bedposts and a big wooden headboard.
“Why didn’t we sneak up here to have sex all the time?” I said. “What a lost opportunity.”
I expected a Serious Rafe answer, but he glanced around and then said, “Well, there really isn’t enough in here to tie you to.”
Actually, maybe that was a Serious Rafe answer.
I climbed off the bed and crossed the room to kiss him, twining my arms around his neck. His lips caressed mine open as he walked me backward, his hands sweeping down my sides to my hips. My shoulders met the cool wall before his thigh slid between mine, nudging my legs open as his tongue teased my lips apart the same way. I nipped his lower lip, and he pulled away. His hands rucked my shirt up higher and higher until he pulled it over my head.
I leaned up onto my tiptoes, my lips seeking his again, but he spun me around facing the wall. I pressed my palms against it, trying to hide my smile at how much I loved his little games. His hands delved into my sleep shorts, slowly pushing them down under the curve of my ass.
One hand teased over my abs, sliding lower and lower until his fingers brushed across my mound and slipped between my thighs. I let out a small gasp at the feel of his fingers teasing against my clit. I wanted more of him, and I ground down, biting my lip.
A smart slap resounded in the room as he smacked my bare ass. It would have jolted my hips forward if not for his arm pinning me where he wanted me as he stopped teasing my clit and instead gripped me there, his hand wrapped around my heated pussy. No matter how much I wanted more, he peppered smacks across my ass instead. Rafe was strong, his hands hard, and just a few spanks had a hot flush spreading across my ass. I tried to wiggle away, but that was never a very successful proposition for me. The effort just helped my shorts and panties fall further down my thighs, not that they were much protection anyway.
“Rafe,” I murmured. “I actually think I’d rather we did more of the sex part than the spanking…”
“Yeah, that’s always how you feel once we begin,” he said. He pressed a kiss to my throat, just below my ear, and my head dropped to the other side, wanting more. His lips against my skin felt so good—until he nipped me, just hard enough to sting. “And I don’t care.”
I groaned, but it wasn’t as if I’d ever really complain. His hand slid up my back to cup the back of my neck, and that move always had heat pooling between my thighs. My nipples pebbled as he led me gently but firmly toward the bed, and I left my shorts and underwear pooled on the floor behind me.
He released me long enough to climb onto the bed himself, then crooked a finger at me. “Come here, please.”
“You sound so polite,” I began, right before he grabbed me and yanked me over his lap. He grabbed my thighs and pulled me over his legs so that my legs were on either side of his waist, my ass in the air, and I had a fine view of his knees and his athletic calves.
“This is a weird position,” I said, struggling up onto my elbows. “It makes me feel exposed.”
“Good. Polite seems to be wasted on you,” he said, “so I’ll try a more direct conversational tact.”
“I don’t think you understand how normal people converse, Rafe.”
“I like you exposed,” he added, running his thumb over my pussy, which was directly in his lap. I jerked, surprised by the sudden sensation over my longing clit. Over my shoulder, I glimpsed him pop his thumb into his mouth, licking off my juices.
“I don’t like that I can’t see what you’re about to do to me,” I said.
“Like, really don’t-like-it?” he asked. “Or just, I like to make a fuss about things so I can be reminded I’m not in charge don’t-like-it?”
“Well, I resent that,” I began, and then his hand descended on my ass again, just like I could have guessed it would.
He spanked me with his hand tight on my thigh, his fingers digging in and holding me there possessively when I tried to writhe away. Just when the heat across my ass—and the heat that flushed my clit too, which was a lot more pleasant—seemed unbearable, he stopped,teasing his fingers across my clit until I was writhing for entirely different reasons.
He plunged his fingers into me, his thumb teasing against my clit. I spasmed around his fingers, already close to coming even before he found my g-spot and began to thrum against it, starting a rhythm between how he played my clit and g-spot that turned my core to liquid heat. I writhed harder then, trying to get away even though I really, really didn’t want to. The pleasure was just so intense that I could barely bear it.
I couldn’t help screaming as I came, and he laughed at me, then smacked my ass again sharply.
The door burst open.
Jensen stood there, his bare chest heaving. He must have come from our bed, except for throwing on his sneakers, so he wore only his usual basketball shorts. His nipple ring winked at me.
“Are you all right, Maddie?” Jensen asked. “I found you missing and I wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything happening, and then I heard you... And then I heard the smack—”
&nb
sp; He frowned, as if he wasn’t sure what to make of what he saw, with Rafe’s fingers bruisingly tight on my leg and my bright red ass displayed over his lap.
Rafe stroked his fingers over my sensitive, aching clit, and I bit my lip hard. “You’d better tell him that you do like it, Maddie,” he said quietly, “because Jensen feels very protective of you, and he’d kick my ass if I really ever hurt you.”
I let myself collapse across Rafe’s legs, still feeling boneless from that orgasm.
“Go on,” Rafe prompted, his fingers teasing against me until I tried to close my thighs, but couldn’t get away. “Tell him.”
“I like it,” I managed. “I suggested it, in fact.”
“Do you want Jensen to join us?” Rafe asked. “If he doesn’t mind.”
“I’m not into all that,” Jensen said. “For the record.”
“I wouldn’t knock it until you’ve tried it,” Rafe said. “But we don’t have to do that. What do you think we should do, Maddie?” His hand slid across my ass, rubbing across the tender spots and faint, overlapping welts from his bruisingly hard fingers. His hands were hard and merciless, but that just had me arching up, my ass pushing toward him involuntarily as if I wanted more.
“I’d love to suck your cock, Jensen,” I said. “If you want me to.”
“Always,” he said, his eyes still wary. He whispered, “Are you sure?” to me as if he didn’t want to break the scene.
“I’m sure,” I mouthed at him.
He spread his hands out and mouthed back, “I just had to check!”
“I feel completely respected and empowered as a woman right now, I promise,” I mouthed back. “I like this. I am keenly aware that I’m the one in control here.”
“Okay,” he mouthed back.
He pulled his cock out of his shorts as he came closer, his shorts hanging low on his lean, chiseled hips. He had a nice cock, long and thick and about as beautiful as a dick can be. There’s a real limit on their natural grace and attractiveness.
But I liked these particular dicks a lot anyway.
I set to licking his cock, looking up at him mischievously—I knew how much Jensen liked eye contact while I sucked him—and then drew him into my mouth. His head fell back and he let out a groan as I began to take him in and out of my mouth.
