When she quit her corporate job, Kate decided to do number two—take up writing full time. She had been writing even back in college. Rob had read a few of her works and he had laughed. He more or less told her she wasn’t really that good, and she believed him, so she stopped writing. But now, she started writing again. She found a community of local writers with the same values and objectives as her, and she realized she had found her passion and her niche in life.
She was realistic enough to know she needed a more stable source of money until her writing can pay off, so she took on some finance consulting and freelance writing and editing gigs on the side to pay the bills.
Within a year, she had done number three—published her first novel. She did it by self-publishing, but regardless of the method, her novel was out there for people to read, and Kate felt elated. The reception was very encouraging. Inwardly, she was telling Rob off for laughing at her early efforts.
Number four—she cut her usually long hair short. Rob had told her she looked better with long hair—more girly, sleeker, sexier. So Kate cut her hair very short. Another way of cutting off her ties with Rob.
She did not, could not cut off all communications with Rob, however. That wasn’t even on her list. It took a few more weeks, but Kate finally started talking to Rob again. And it took a few months before she was ready to meet him personally. She had wanted everything in her life in order first before she had to deal with Rob again.
So when they met face to face again, she had changed. A lot. And she made sure Rob saw and felt it.
Three months later, at a coffee shop
“Well?”
“I’m not sure I like it.” Rob looked at her strangely.
“Well, I do. I feel lighter, freer!”
Kate ran her fingers through her pixie cut, looking at Rob’s reaction. Rob had been telling her for the longest time that Kate’s long, thick, wavy hair, was his favorite part of her. He always loved touching it and burying his face in her hair was one of the greatest pleasures in his life.
Kate also knew Rob always liked his girls with long hair. All of his girlfriends had long hair.
“I heard you quit your job,” Rob said matter-of-factly.
“I did,” Kate said with a smile. She knew Rob had been surprised about it, thinking she liked her corporate career like he did his.
“What are you doing now?”
“Writing, editing. Consulting.” Kate knew Rob was thinking she was crazy to be writing. She could see it in his expression, which he was trying to control.
“Are you happy?” Rob asked.
“Very,” she answered.
Rob sighed.
“Being without me agrees with you,” he said softly.
Kate smiled, but she didn’t dispute what he said.
“Any plans for the future?” Rob asked.
“I’m doing some travelling,” Kate said, thinking about the rest of the items on her bucket list.
“Really? You mean you’re finally going to your dream destinations? That’s cool! Want some company?”
Kate shook her head. “No, thanks. I have to do this on my own.”
Rob stared at Kate. “You’ve changed.”
“I have. I started changing that night I punched you,” Kate answered and stared at Rob seriously. This was the first time they would be talking about that moment.
Rob flinched. “Kate, I...” Rob stopped.
Kate continued to stare at him, waiting for him to talk.
“I am so sorry for what I did that night. I have no excuse. I - I am so sorry I hurt you,” Rob said softly.
“How’s your nose?”
“Well...” Rob smiled. “That was an intense punch! The bleeding did not stop until after I got home.”
Kate smiled. “It doesn’t look like I did any permanent damage to your pretty face,” she said.
“You should have seen me the day after and the rest of that week!” Rob laughed.
“What did you tell people?”
“That I got into a fight. You can’t imagine how much my macho points went up!”
Kate laughed. They’ve always joked that with Rob’s lean physique and almost feminine demeanor, he was more of a lover than a fighter. Macho Rob is an oxymoron.
They continued to stare at each other.
“How’s Miss Pinky?” Kate asked suddenly, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
Rob frowned. “She’s fine.”
“Wow, you’re still together! That must be a record for you.”
Rob continued to frown.
“You’re not tired of her already, are you?”
Rob gave her his I-don’t-want-to-talk-about-it look.
“Poor Pinky,” Kate whispered loudly.
More of the look.
It felt different, Kate thought as she looked at Rob from across the table. It felt different to be unaffected, and to have Rob being more affected than she was.
Kate had to admit to herself she just didn’t magically fall out of love with Rob. She still loved him.
He probably knows it too, arrogant bastard that he is, Kate thought.
But she was now better able to control her feelings. She was also smarter and stronger and she would never get into a situation again where he could hurt her.
Kate asked, “Movie tonight? Or do you have a date with Miss Pinky?”
Rob smiled, seemingly realizing they were back to being friends. He shook his head vigorously. “I’m free. I’m free every Thursday, just in case you asked to see me.” Rob smiled and Kate felt her heart flutter.
“I’ll bring the wine and the Chinese takeout to your apartment.”
“No,” Kate said seriously, trying to take control of the situation again, admonishing her traitorous heat.
“No?” Rob looked deflated. He obviously missed their weekly Thursday dates all those months Kate did not want to talk to him or see him personally.
“Movie night in an actual theater, Rob. And dinner in an actual restaurant,” Kate said, still not ready to be alone with Rob in her apartment.
“Unless you’re afraid to be seen with me, lest Miss Pinky freak out?” Kate challenged Rob.
Rob hesitated.
“It’s just two friends hanging out. Nothing else.”
Rob still didn’t answer. Kate shrugged.
“No worries, Rob. I’ll go alone or I’ll call someone else to come with me.”
“No, I’m coming,” Rob said, resigned.
“All right then.”
Kate loved that she was taking control. Basing on the look on Rob’s face, he also liked the new Kate.
Kate and Rob stared at each other.
Kate smiled.
Rob smiled.
Movie night went well and they had a great time, without any of the emotional baggage weighing them down. It had been a long, long time since they’ve thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company.
After that night, Kate realized she would be able to get over him and still be his friend. When she boarded the plane to Australia, the first of her travel stops, Kate had found herself.
Kate had become her own person.
Finally.
7
The Stalker
Kate is alone in her apartment, trying to choose between invitation samples provided by their wedding coordinator. She is getting dizzy. There are so many choices, and inwardly, she just doesn’t really care as long as the invitations are tasteful and simple. The subtle differences in color and paper thickness and font color don’t register with her. She rests her eyes for a few seconds.
For some reason, she looks at her right hand and the engagement ring flashes brilliantly. Then slowly, she looks at her left hand. Left wrist, actually, where a bangle rests. Black, silver, and gold.
Kate sighs. She only wears this bangle when she is alone.
Because it brings back so many memories she doesn’t really want to remember, especially now she is getting married to Rob. But of course, she remembers.
/> She remembers him.
Layne.
The way his smile lit up his eyes when they were downing shots in Sydney. The way he took charge and got her out of harm’s way in Ho Chi Minh. The way he looked in the picture she took of him at the Great Wall. The way he made love to her in Mumbai. The way he couldn’t say what needed saying in KL. And the way his sleeping face looked in Singapore.
But as always, when she remembers and thinks of Layne, her thoughts turn back to Rob, the man she is about to marry. The chat with his mom the other day made her understand him more. And it made her all the more resolute to make this relationship work.
She wonders what would happen if the two guys meet each other. Well, Layne doesn’t know Rob existed, and Rob only knows Layne as Number Six.
Close to two years ago
Kate and Rob were in a coffee shop, the first time they were seeing each other after Kate’s Australia trip. Kate told him about her bucket list and Number Six.
“You little minx!”
“You’re one to talk. You’re the man-whore in this friendship.”
“Ouch! I admit I do sleep around. I’ve been with a lot of girls, but I don’t think I have ever done it with a complete stranger.”
“Really?”
“Really. You know everyone I’ve slept with. I knew them all somehow, went on a date or two before hooking up. At the very least, I knew their complete real names!”
Kate laughed. “Wow, then I’m the man!”
“You are! And you have the hair to prove it.” Rob ruffled her hair. He had a weird look in his eyes.
“What?” Kate asked because Rob was looking at her strangely.
Rob smiled and shook his head. “I just love seeing you happy and free and...”
“...not weighed down?” Kate completed.
“Yes.”
“I love being this way. You should have hurt me earlier so I would’ve done this earlier. Oh wait, you did!”
Rob frowned.
“Don’t look so down, Rob. I’m me now because of everything I’ve been through. And you’ve been a big part of what I’ve been through.”
“Kate, I am so sorry.”
“Don’t be. Most of it was me, Rob. I know better now. I no longer have unrealistic expectations. I’m free!”
Rob stared at her. He looked almost disappointed.
One-and-a-half years ago
“Are you sure he’s not a stalker?” Rob asked. “Because, what are the odds, right?”
Kate and Rob were at a bistro having some wine, cheese, and tapas. Kate has just returned from her trip to Vietnam.
“No, definitely not a stalker. We wouldn’t even have met if I didn’t get in trouble crossing the street.”
“Or he was just waiting for an opportunity to pounce.”
“It’s not like that, Rob. It was... it was actually quite romantic.”
Rob looked like he didn’t like the sound of that. “Romantic? Kate... it was a repeat one-night stand. Do you even have any details about him that would enable you to contact him? Or did you give him any details?”
“No,” Kate said with a distracted smile.
“So how could it be romantic?”
“Because we just had those moments. Nothing more. No ties. No emotional baggage. Just those beautiful moments.”
“Sex.”
“Not just sex.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You won’t.”
“And it’s okay you won’t ever see him ever again?”
“Yes,” Kate answered with a smile.
“You’re weird,” Rob said as he shook his head.
“That’s why you’re my friend.”
“How did this become about me?”
“Because.”
“Kate, you’re exasperating!”
“I am, but you love me just the same.”
Rob stared at Kate. “I am dangerously close to considering ending our friendship.”
“Yeah, tell yourself that, Rob. You will miss me terribly when I am gone.”
Rob smiled.
Kate smiled.
1
The Metamorphosis
“Kate, wake up.”
Kate opens her eyes a fraction and is initially disoriented. She is in an unfamiliar room in an unfamiliar place. And then it clicks. She is in Rob’s apartment, sleeping on his bed, in his bedroom. It is a large bedroom and the color palette only includes black and white.
“Rob, let me sleep...,” Kate pleads and she buries her face into the soft, plush black pillows.
“I was thinking you might be hungry,” Rob says, and then as if in response, Kate’s tummy grumbles.
Rob laughs. “See? Your stomach agrees with me. I have food!”
Kate wakes up at the mention of food. She realizes she is naked under the white sheets, so she takes a T-shirt from Rob’s closet and wears it. She then follows Rob outside to his industrial kitchen.
Rob’s kitchen island is packed with so much food--Pasta (aglio olio with spicy Italian sausage), pizza (4-cheese, thin crust, family size), chicken (buffalo wings, extra spicy), and a big bowl of salad. A two-liter bottle of Coca-Cola and two glasses with ice are on the side board.
“Wow, how did you—?” Kate’s stomach rumbles loudly again.
“The power of a smart phone and a credit card,” Rob answers with a smile. He is wearing a favorite tattered white shirt over plaid red and black boxer shorts.
“All this food, why?”
“Uhm... you might have forgotten, we didn’t get to have dinner...” Rob says with an impish grin.
Kate flashes back to a few hours before and she blushes. “Oh, yeah.”
“I’m not sorry,” Rob says as he pulls Kate to him. He nuzzles the top of Kate’s head, and Kate embraces him tightly.
“Next time, don’t open the door with just a towel covering you, okay? What if it wasn’t me?” Kate asks.
Rob smiles. “I knew it was you.” His hands cup her thinly covered butt.
“Aaah, so you wanted to seduce me, did you?”
“Of course... I love that I am now free to seduce you and not feel guilty about it. Gosh, I still can’t get over the fact we are engaged and in a few months, we will be married!”
“I know right? If only my twenty-something self had known this would happen, I wouldn’t have been too full of angst,” Kate says good-naturedly. She swats Rob’s hands off her behind.
“Well, all this food is to make up for making you miss the dinner you expected.”
“Well, I wouldn’t have missed that ‘appetizer’ for anything!”
Rob laughs. “I love you, Kate.”
“I love you, Rob,” Kate says with a smile.
They kiss deeply, and then they attack the food.
As they eat, Kate thinks back to the limited information about Layne she had shared with Rob, who knew only of the Australia and Vietnam incidents. Everything after that was never shared with Rob, and even if she feels guilty about it, she doesn’t think now is the right time to tell him. After all, in the end, nothing really came out of it.
But she knows the real reason she started not talking to Rob about Layne after the China and India trips. Because at that time, she knew she was already falling in love with Layne.
The thing is, in the Philippines, at that same time, circumstance had also made a drastic turn. Well, it wasn’t really drastic and Kate almost missed it, because of her preoccupation with her writing and thinking about Layne and when she would see him next.
But one day, Kate just had a sudden realization.
Seven months ago
It was a Thursday night, and Rob was flopped on her couch, his business shirt opened a couple of buttons and the sleeves rolled up. Kate sat right next to him, her head on his shoulder, both of them intently watching the TV screen. It was Thursday and it was TV series marathon night, and the Chinese takeout boxes were strewn on the coffee table, as were the bottles of Smirnoff Mule.
Rob
had his arms around Kate, and Kate was snuggled up to him, feeling mellow. She liked the way Rob smelled. He used a faint cologne that was both masculine and feminine, but Kate just loved the way it smelled on Rob’s skin. He had been using it since college, so that smell brought back all kinds of memories. Kate felt Rob’s hand on her arm, tracing lazy patterns on her skin. Kate loved the way Rob’s touch felt on her skin.
Kate looked up and stared at Rob’s intent face watching one of their favorite episodes of The Walking Dead. Rob was a beautiful man. Even when Kate was mad at him and distancing herself from him, any sight of him made her sigh. But up close. Damn. He was a sight to behold. The hair was always too long, his eyelashes were ridiculously long as well, his bone structure, the smoothness of his fair skin, and the redness of his lips. Rob would have given Robert Pattinson a run for his money when it came to that emaciated gorgeous vampire vibe.
God, I love this guy! Kate thought. If only...
Then Kate sat bolt upright, Rob’s arm and hand falling from her shoulder and arm.
Oh fuck, Kate thought. She turned to Rob who was a bit surprised by her sudden movement.
“Rob,” Kate whispered.
“Yes?”
“Who are you going out with nowadays?”
Rob considered the question. Then he answered, “No one in particular.”
“When was the last time you had a date?”
Rob frowned. “Not sure.”
“Who was the last woman you slept with?”
Rob smiled. “Why the questions, Kate?”
“Who?”
“I... I don’t remember,” Rob admitted.
Fuck!
“What do you do with all that spare time if you’re not out with women, dating and partying?”
Rob laughed.
“I’m working on my long-delayed Masters, remember? And when I’m not studying, I spend most of my time with my family and friends. And you.”
Kate, Finally Page 8
