Allison's Journey

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  Katie and Joseph nodded, but Allison shrugged and said, “I’ll have to wait and see. Right now I need to speak with Clarence and Vera Esh.”

  Joseph watched Katie out of the corner of his eye. He sensed that she wanted to speak with him alone, but Melinda seemed to be monopolizing the conversation.

  “You should have seen how excited Allison was when I gave her that kitten,” Melinda said with an enthusiastic nod. “She said she’d never had a pet before.”

  “She could have taken her pick of any critter at our place.” Gabe nudged Melinda with his elbow. “Why didn’t you pawn a few other animals off on Allison that day?”

  She nudged him right back. “Very funny.”

  Katie cleared her throat. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I need some fresh air, so I think I’ll head outside and take a walk.”

  “That’s fine,” Melinda said. “We’ll just sit here and visit with Joseph awhile.”

  Joseph jumped to his feet. “Actually, I think I could use a bit of fresh air, too.”

  Gabe gave him a knowing smile. “You go right ahead.”

  Joseph followed Katie to the barn door, and when they stepped outside, he turned to her and said, “Should we take a walk down by the creek?”

  “That’d be nice,” she said with a nod. “Hopefully no one else is there right now.”

  They walked in silence until the water came into view, and Joseph was relieved to see that there wasn’t a soul in sight. He motioned to a nearby log. “Should we take a seat?”

  Katie sat down and released a sigh. “This has been such a trying day. I still can’t get over the pitiful look on my aunt Vera’s face during the graveside services.”

  Joseph nodded. “Losing a loved one is never easy, but I think it’s especially hard for parents to lose a child.”

  She shuddered, and when she looked at Joseph, tears glistened in her eyes. “I can’t imagine how it would be if I ever lost you.”

  “I wouldn’t want to lose you, either.” He reached for her hand. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking in the past few days, and I’ve made a decision.”

  “What’s that?”

  “If the main reason your folks don’t want you to marry me is because I don’t have a good job, then I’m going to ask my daed if he’ll hire me at the harness shop.”

  Katie’s brows lifted high on her forehead. “But Aaron’s worked there for several years. I thought the shop was supposed to be his someday. Isn’t that what you told me once?”

  “That’s true,” he agreed, “but Papa’s got lots of work right now, so I’m sure he could use another pair of hands. And as far as who gets the shop—”

  Joseph halted his words when his younger brother, Davey, and Melinda’s brother Isaiah showed up on the scene.

  “What are you two doin’ down here at the creek?” Davey asked.

  “We’re talking. What’s it look like?”

  Davey snickered. Isaiah did the same.

  “Knock it off.” Joseph hoped his little brother wasn’t going to say or do something to embarrass him in front of Katie.

  Isaiah picked up a flat rock and pitched it into the creek.

  “Sure is hot today. Makes me wish I could go swimmin’ in this old creek.”

  “I don’t suppose it would hurt if we went wading.” Davey dropped to the ground and removed his shoes and socks. Then he rolled his pant legs up to the knees and plodded into the water.

  Isaiah followed suit.

  Joseph looked over at Katie and rolled his eyes.

  “I guess I’d better get back to the house,” she said, rising to her feet. “I should see how Aunt Vera and Uncle Clarence are doing.”

  “Jah, okay.”

  As Joseph and Katie walked away, he leaned close to her ear and whispered, “I’ll be talking to my daed sometime this week, and I’ll let you know what he has to say about me working for him.”

  Allison spotted James’s folks standing under a maple tree, talking to one of their church ministers. She waited patiently until the minister moved away, then she hurried over to Vera and Clarence.

  “Hello, Allison,” Vera said. “I heard you were with our son when he died, and I was hoping for the chance to talk to you.”

  Allison nodded. “I’m not sure if James understood everything I said, but I did get the chance to speak with him before the ambulance came.”

  “Vera and I had hoped our son would settle down and marry a nice Amish woman from our community,” Clarence spoke up. “We’d have even been happy if he’d found an Amish woman from outside this community.” He slowly shook his head. “It’s so hard for us to accept his death.”

  Vera’s hands trembled as she dabbed at the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief. “My biggest fear is that James didn’t make it to heaven.”

  Allison gave Vera’s arm a gentle squeeze. “I can’t say for sure what was in James’s heart when he died, but I had the chance to pray with him. When I asked if he wanted to seek forgiveness for his sins, he blinked twice.”

  “What are you saying?” Clarence asked.

  “I’m saying that when I prayed the prayer of forgiveness out loud, I think James repeated it in his mind.”

  Tears welled in Vera’s eyes and ran down her cheeks. “Danki, Allison. I’m glad you were there for James in his last moments, and I’m thankful you cared enough to offer that prayer on his behalf.”

  Allison swallowed around the lump in her throat. She wished she could have prayed with her mother before she’d died. Deep in her heart, she felt confident that Mama had known Jesus personally and made it to heaven. She had such a sweet spirit; she had to know Jesus.

  Chapter 23

  Aunt Mary, could I speak with you a minute?” Allison asked before she headed out after breakfast the following morning.

  “Of course.” Aunt Mary dried her hands on a towel and turned to face Allison. “What did you wish to say?”

  “I wanted you to know that I remembered my mamm’s accident.”

  “You did?”

  “Jah. The day I witnessed James’s accident, it all came rushing back to me.”

  Aunt Mary stepped forward and gave Allison a hug. “I know it must have been painful, but I hope it helped you find some sort of closure.”

  Allison nodded as tears welled in her eyes. “It brought back all the fear and sorrow I felt that day, but it also helped me remember Mama.”

  “I’m glad.”

  Allison smiled, despite her tears. “I want you to know how much I appreciate all you’ve been teaching me. Getting to know you and your family has given me a taste of what life would have been like for me if my mamm had lived.”

  “Having you here has been good for us as well.” Aunt Mary patted Allison’s back. “We’re all pleased that you’ve decided to stay longer.”

  “I just hope Papa’s okay with it. I still haven’t had a letter from him in response to my request. It makes me worry that he might say no.”

  “I’m sure a letter will come soon, and then your fears will be put to rest.” Aunt Mary handed Allison a tissue. “Now dry your eyes and be on your way to town.”

  “I hope the bed-and-breakfast will be willing to buy some of my dolls,” Allison said as she set her black outer bonnet in place over her white kapp.

  “They’ve bought other things made by the Amish in this area, so I’m sure they’ll be interested in your dolls, as well.”

  Allison smiled and scurried out the door. Thanks to Uncle Ben, she found her horse and buggy all ready to go. With a quick wave to Aunt Mary, Allison clucked to the horse and guided her buggy down the driveway. She was excited about taking some of her dolls to the bed-and-breakfast, but nervous about stopping at the harness shop to speak with Aaron. Would he be glad to see her? Would he be too busy to talk? Could they get their relationship back to where it had been before James’s accident?

  Allison thought of Proverbs 18:24, which she’d read that morning: “A man that hath friends must shew himself frien
dly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” She wanted to be Aaron’s friend, even if she couldn’t be his girlfriend. She knew if he was grieving over James’s death, he really needed a friend.

  As Allison’s horse and buggy proceeded down Highway C, she tried to focus on other things. It was a warm morning, already muggy and buzzing with insects. She’d been swatting at flies ever since she left her aunt and uncle’s place.

  Allison wondered what it would be like to spend a winter in Webster County. Since the Amish who lived here only drove open buggies, they would have to bundle up in order to be protected when the weather turned cold and snowy. Even so, she longed to stay in this small Amish community, where she could be close to the family and friends she had come to care about. What if, for some reason, Papa didn’t want her to stay? What if he insisted she return to Pennsylvania at the end of summer?

  Halting her negatives thoughts, Allison guided the horse to turn at the entrance of the Hiltys’ place. She stopped in front of the hitching post by the harness shop and stepped down from the buggy. It was time to see Aaron.

  “I’m going up to the house to speak with your mamm, but I’ll be back soon,” Paul called to Aaron. “Is there anything I can bring you to eat or drink?”

  Aaron looked up from a tub of dye and smiled. He hadn’t had a chance to apologize to his stepfather for the harsh words he’d spoken the other morning, but he would do that as soon as Paul returned to the shop. “How about a couple of Mom’s oatmeal cookies?”

  “Sure, I can do that.” Paul opened the door and had just stepped outside when Allison walked in.

  “Guder mariye, Paul,” she said. “I’m on my way to Seymour and thought I’d drop by and see Aaron a few minutes. If he’s not too busy, that is.”

  Paul nodded. “Aaron’s dying some leather straps, but you’re welcome to talk to him.”

  As Allison moved toward Aaron, his breath caught in his throat. He waited for Paul to shut the door, then held up his hands, encased in rubber gloves that were dark with stain. “Better not get too close. This stuff is hard to scrub off. Just ask my mamm; she’s had to deal with trying to get dye off my clothes, as well as my skin, ever since I was a boy and first came to work in this shop.”

  “I’ll be careful.”

  “What did you want to see me about?” he asked.

  Allison leaned against one of their workbenches. “We haven’t had a chance to talk since the night of James’s accident. I had wanted to speak with you after the funeral dinner, but Joseph said you’d gone home with your folks.”

  Aaron nodded.

  She cleared her throat. “You’ve been acting kind of distant, and I’m wondering if something’s wrong.”

  Aaron draped the piece of leather he’d just stained over a rung on the wooden drying rack and stood. Should he tell her what he thought about her reaction to James? Would it do any good to share his feelings?

  “Are you upset about James?” Allison questioned.

  He nodded. Maybe she had figured things out already.

  “If you’re feeling guilty because you said unkind things about James before he died, all you need to do is confess it to God.”

  Aaron’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

  “You seemed so glum during the funeral service. I wondered if it was because you felt remorse and wished you could have made things right between you and James before he died.”

  “I do feel bad for speaking against him,” Aaron admitted.

  “It’s easy to let things slip off our tongue when we’re upset. I should know; I’ve done plenty of it in the past—especially things I said to Aunt Catherine.” Allison took a step toward Aaron, but he held up his hands.

  “Stain, remember?”

  “Right.” Her smile seemed to light up the room. “So the reason you didn’t say much when you took me home after the accident was because you felt bad about the way things had been between you and James?”

  “Actually, I wasn’t talking much because I was upset over you and James.”

  “Me and James?”

  “Jah. The way you acted when he was thrown from his buggy made me think you had strong feelings for him.”

  Allison’s mouth dropped open. “You thought that?”

  He nodded. “You were determined to speak with James, and then you wanted to ride to the hospital in the ambulance with him. It made me believe—”

  “I did care about James, but not in the way you think,” she interrupted.

  “How was it then?”

  “I cared about his soul—where he would spend eternity if he died.”

  Aaron shifted from one foot to the other. Was Allison saying she had rushed to James’s side in order to speak to him about God?

  “I told James he could be forgiven of his sins, and then I prayed, asking him to repeat the prayer in his mind. I believe in my heart that James understood and accepted Christ as his Savior.”

  “I. . .I see.” Aaron felt as if someone had squeezed all the air out of his lungs. If Allison wasn’t in love with James, was it possible that she cared for him?

  She stepped forward and touched his arm. “Are you okay? Have I said something to upset you?”

  He pulled the rubber gloves off his hands and let them fall to the floor, then quickly reached for her hand. “I’ve been so dumb thinking you loved James.” He lowered his gaze. “It’s taken me a long time to deal with my feelings about my daed’s death and how it affected my mamm. I was scared of falling in love, because I was worried if I got married, I might lose my wife, the way Mom lost Dad.” He drew in a deep breath and lifted his gaze. “After talking to my mamm several weeks ago, I realized that God gave her a second chance at love with Paul and that it wouldn’t be good for me to live my life in fear of the unknown.”

  “That’s true.”

  “I’ve always told everyone that I’d never get married because I couldn’t find the kind of woman I needed. But the truth is I’ve been too scared.” He paused and moistened his lips. “Then you came along, and that all changed.”

  Allison’s forehead wrinkled. “I. . .I’m glad you feel that way, but how can you think I’m the kind of woman you need? I can barely cook, and the things I enjoy doing most are considered men’s jobs.”

  Aaron lifted her chin with his thumb. “That’s what I like about you—you’re not afraid to try some things other women might shy away from.” He drew her into his arms, not even caring about what would happen if Paul stepped through the door. “I’m glad you came by today,” he murmured against her ear.

  “Jah, me, too.”

  “Catherine, you’ve got to listen to reason,” Herman said as he pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and sat beside her.

  She shook her head. “There is no need to bring Allison home early.”

  He held out the letter he’d recently received. “She wants to stay longer than originally planned.”

  Catherine shrugged. “She can do whatever she likes.”

  “But you’re going to need her help,” he argued.

  “I’ll do what I can for as long as I can.” She took a sip from her cup of tea. “If I need any help, I’ll ask some of the women in our community.”

  Herman was sure Sally’s mother, Dorothy, and several other women would be willing to help out, but they couldn’t be there all the time. Besides, Allison deserved to know about her aunt’s cancer, and he was sure once she heard, she would want to return home.

  “Can I talk to you a minute?” Joseph asked when he stepped out of the barn and spotted his stepfather heading for the harness shop.

  “Jah, sure. What’s up, son?”

  Joseph hurried to his side. “I was wondering. . . .”

  “You seem nervous. Is there something wrong?”

  “Not wrong exactly.” Joseph cleared his throat a couple of times. “It’s just that. . .well, I know you and Aaron have been pretty busy in the harness shop lately, and I was wondering if you might need an extra pair of h
ands.”

  “You mean your hands?”

  Joseph nodded. “My job at Osborn’s tree farm is only parttime, and so’s the farm work I do for the neighbors.”

  Papa studied Joseph intently. “Are you looking for full-time work? Is that what you’re saying?”

  “Jah. I need something steady and reliable. Something I can count on all year long.”

  Papa squinted as he gave his earlobe a tug. “You’ve never shown much interest in the harness shop before. You’d have a lot to learn.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you mind telling me why the sudden desire to work there?”

  “I just told you—I need to find a full-time job.”

  “And why is that, Joseph?”

  “Well, I—”

  “Is there a woman involved in this decision?”

  “Jah. I’ve asked Katie Esh to marry me, but her folks won’t give their blessing unless I have a full-time job.”

  Papa’s brows furrowed. “Is that the only reason?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Don’t they have any concerns about the fact that you and Katie are only eighteen?”

  “I suppose they do, but—”

  “Don’t you think it would be better if you and Katie waited a few years to be married?”

  “Katie and I are in love, and we want to be married as soon as possible.”

  “Even if you did have a full-time job, I don’t think you’re mature enough to be a husband right now.”

  Joseph’s spine went rigid. In all the years Paul had been married to Mom, he’d never made Joseph feel as small as he did right now. “I’m not immature. I’m a hard worker, and I make good decisions.”

  “Do you now?” Papa gave his earlobe another quick pull. “Was it a good decision when you bought that very spirited gelding a few months ago and then it kicked one of the other horses because it has such a mean streak?”

  “I had no way of knowing the horse was mean when I bought him.”

  “A knowledgeable horseman would have known. Would have asked more questions before buying such a horse.”