Allison's Journey

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  Chapter 27

  I want you to be prepared for the way things are at home,” Allison’s father said as their English neighbor drove them from the bus station to their home in his minivan.

  Allison turned in her seat and faced her father. “What do you mean, Papa?” His grave expression let her know things weren’t good.

  “Your aunt Catherine won’t accept any of the treatments her doctor’s suggested, and she won’t even talk about her illness.”

  “Why not? Doesn’t she realize the treatments might prolong her life?”

  “I think she’s afraid of the negative side effects the treatments could cause.” He pulled his fingers through the side of his hair. “To tell you the truth, I don’t think she cares about prolonging her life.”

  “Oh, but—”

  “This is her decision, and I’ve agreed to abide by it.” He reached for Allison’s hand. “She’s irritable and tries to do more than she can. Then she exhausts herself and ends up unable to do anything except rest for the next several days. Peter and I can fend for ourselves when it’s necessary, but we don’t have time to cook decent meals or keep the place clean. And someone needs to be at the house to take care of my sister when she’s having a bad day.”

  “Maybe she will rest more with me there to do the cleaning and cooking.”

  Papa nodded soberly. “That’s what I’m hoping for, and I thank you for coming.”

  “You’re welcome.” Allison leaned her head against the seat and tried to relax. The days ahead would be full of trials. She could only hope she was up to the task.

  “Wie geht’s?” Gabe asked as he stepped into the harness shop.

  Aaron pulled his fingers through the back of his hair. “I’m doin’ okay. How about you?”

  “Can’t complain.” Gabe moved toward the workbench where Aaron stood. “I came over to start working on Rufus’s dog run. It’s about time I got around to it, wouldn’t you say?”

  “I suppose.”

  “You don’t sound too enthused. I figured you’d be desperate to get your mutt in a dog run.”

  Aaron gave a noncommittal shrug.

  “You seem really nunner today.”

  “You’d be down, too, if the woman you loved had moved to Pennsylvania,” Aaron mumbled.

  Gabe shook his head. “Allison didn’t move to Pennsylvania, Aaron. She lives there and had to return because her aunt is sick.”

  “I know that, but she was planning to stay here—at least longer than she’d originally intended.”

  “She’s only been gone a few days. I wouldn’t think you’d miss her so much already.”

  “Jah, well, how would you know what I’m feeling? You’re married to the woman you love, and you know she’ll be waiting for you when you come home every night.” Aaron removed his work apron and hung it on a wall peg. It was past quitting time, and Paul had already gone up to the house. Aaron had figured he would stay and work awhile longer, hoping to keep his hands busy and his mind off the emptiness he’d felt since Allison left. Now that Gabe was here, he figured he might as well quit for the day. Truth be told, he was tired and didn’t feel like working longer, anyway.

  Gabe rested his hand on Aaron’s slumped shoulder. “Don’t you remember how things were with Melinda and me during our courtship? There was a time when I didn’t know if she was going to remain true to the Amish faith, or if she would choose to go English and become a vet.” He shook his head. “Don’t think that wasn’t stressful. Believe me, I know more of how you’re feeling than you can imagine.”

  Aaron knew his friend was probably right, but it didn’t relieve his anxiety any. It had taken a lot for him to get past his feelings about marriage and start courting Allison. Knowing they might never be together hurt worse than a kick in the head by an unruly mule.

  “Have you had supper yet?” he asked, feeling the need to change the subject.

  “Melinda and I had an early supper,” Gabe replied. “But feel free to go have your meal. I’ll get started on the dog run, and when you’re done, you can join me. If you don’t have anything else to do, that is.”

  “I’m not all that hungry, so I’ll go inside and tell my mamm I won’t be joining them at the table this evening. Then I’ll come back out to help you with the dog run.”

  Gabe clucked his tongue. “You’ve got to eat, Aaron. Pining for Allison and starving yourself won’t solve a thing.”

  Aaron knew his friend was only showing concern, but it irked him. He didn’t want anyone’s sympathy, and he didn’t need to be told what to do.

  As he opened the shop door and stepped out, a blast of hot, muggy air hit him full in the face. He grimaced. “Sure wish it would cool off and rain again. I’m sick of this sweltering weather!”

  He kicked at the stones beneath his feet. I hope I get a letter from Allison soon. I really do miss her.

  Allison thought she had prepared herself for this moment, but the sight that greeted her when she and Papa stepped into the house made her stomach clench. Aunt Catherine lay on the sofa with a wet washrag on her forehead and a hot water bottle on her stomach. Her skin had a grayish-yellow tinge, her eyes were rimmed with dark circles, and she looked skinny and frail. This wasn’t the robust, healthy woman Allison had seen three months ago. It made her wonder how long Aunt Catherine had been sick and hadn’t said anything. She might have been in pain for some time. That could be the reason she’d been so crabby much of the time.

  Allison approached the sofa, and her aunt struggled to sit. “That’s okay. Don’t get up on my account.” Allison leaned over and took hold of Aunt Catherine’s hand. Aunt Catherine squeezed it in return, but there wasn’t much strength in her fingers. A tear trickled down Allison’s cheek, and she sniffed.

  “We’ll have no tears around here. You shouldn’t have come home.” Aunt Catherine’s words were clipped, and if it hadn’t been for the knowledge that her aunt was hurting, Allison would have felt offended. “I told your daed not to write that letter, but he insisted on bringing you back to take care of me.”

  Allison wasn’t sure if Aunt Catherine didn’t want her here because she didn’t like her, or if her harsh words were because she felt bad about Allison having to leave Missouri. It didn’t matter. Allison was home now, and she had a job to do. Many times in the past she’d let Aunt Catherine’s sharp tongue bother her, but with God’s help, she would care for her aunt’s physical and spiritual needs without complaint.

  “Have you heard anything from Allison?” Melinda asked Mary as she and Katie stepped into Mary’s living room for a quilting bee.

  Mary nodded. “I got a letter this morning.”

  “How’s she doing? I’ve only had one letter, and that was right after she first got home,” Katie said.

  “She’s doing all right, but she’s very busy keeping house, cooking, and taking care of her aunt.”

  “Is her aunt’s health any better?” Melinda wanted to know.

  Mary shook her head. “I’m afraid not. Allison said Catherine is still refusing any kind of treatment other than some pills for her pain.”

  “That’s a shame,” Melinda’s mother, Faith, put in from across the room. “It seems that so many people have cancer these days.”

  “If only there wasn’t so much pain and suffering in this world,” Melinda said, taking a seat in front of the quilting frame. “It breaks my heart to see even the animals I care for when they suffer with some incurable disease.”

  “Sickness and death were brought into this world when Adam and Eve sinned,” Vera Esh spoke up. Her eyes misted. “But someday, God will wipe away all our tears.”

  “And there will be no more pain and suffering,” Mary said, reaching for her well-used thimble. “In the meantime, we can do our part to alleviate some of the misery our friends and family must endure by being there for them and lifting them up in prayer.”

  All heads nodded in agreement, and Mary lifted a silent prayer on behalf of her brother-in-law, Herman, and the
whole Troyer family.

  “If you keep jabbing that pitchfork the way you’re doing, you’ll put a hole in the floor instead of spreading straw in the places it needs to be spread,” Peter said when he stepped into the stall Herman had been cleaning.

  Herman set the pitchfork aside and straightened. “I guess I was going at it pretty good.” He reached around to rub a sore spot in his lower back and grimaced.

  “If you’re back’s actin’ up, why don’t you let me take over?” Peter offered.

  “Actually, I think I’m hurting in here more than here.” Herman touched his chest, and then his back.

  “Because of Aunt Catherine, you mean?”

  “Jah, that and the fact that Allison had to cut her time short in Missouri in order to come back and care for things here.”

  “I think the two of us could have managed okay on our own,” Peter said. “It’s Aunt Catherine who needs the most looking after right now.”

  Herman nodded. “I’m afraid it’s only going to get worse. Have you noticed the determined set of my sister’s jaw when she tries to do something? She attempts to cover up her pain, but I’m no narr.”

  “Of course you’re not a fool, Papa.”

  Herman grimaced. “That sister of mine is hurting more than she’ll admit, but I sure wish I hadn’t had to ask Allison to come home. She’s been so sad since she arrived. I don’t think it’s just because she feels bad about Aunt Catherine’s condition, either.”

  “You think she’s missing Aunt Mary and her family?”

  “Jah, and maybe a few others besides.”

  Peter tipped his head to one side. “You don’t think Allison found a boyfriend while she was there, do you?”

  Herman shrugged. “I can’t be sure, but from the way she’s been acting, it’s my guess that she’s missing more than just her family in Webster County.”

  Peter stabbed a chunk of straw with the pitchfork and dropped it to the floor. “Allison hasn’t had very good luck getting boyfriends in the past, so if she did find one while she was visiting Aunt Mary’s family, she’s probably none too happy about giving up that relationship.” He stuck the pitchfork into the pile of straw again. “Want me to ask her about it?”

  Herman shrugged. “She might not appreciate it, but if you feel so inclined, go right ahead.”

  “I think I will,” Peter said with a nod. “As soon as I figure out the best way to ask.”

  Over the next several weeks, Allison established a routine. Up early every morning to fix breakfast so Papa and Peter could get out to the milking barn. Clean up the kitchen. Take a tray of hot cereal up to Aunt Catherine, who now ate most of her meals in bed. Do the laundry whenever it was needed. Dust, sweep, and shake rugs in every part of the house. Bake bread and desserts, while making sure that each meal was fixed on time.

  Allison had to squeeze in a few minutes before bed at night to read her Bible. And she had been negligent about letter writing. She’d only written to Aaron twice, once to let him know she’d arrived home safely, and another letter earlier this week to tell him how her aunt was doing and that she missed him. She’d also written to Aunt Mary and Uncle Ben, as well as to Katie and Melinda. Aunt Mary had sent several letters in return, and she’d had two letters from Katie, but only one from Melinda. Allison figured that was because Melinda had recently given birth to a baby boy, which she’d learned about when she’d received a letter from Aaron last week. He had also said he missed her and had been praying for her aunt.

  “I wish I could see that boppli of Melinda’s,” Allison said with a yawn. For that matter, she wished she could see all her friends and family back in Missouri—especially Aaron, whom she missed more than she was willing to admit.

  A knock sounded on Allison’s bedroom door.

  “Come in,” she called.

  The door opened, and Peter stuck his head inside. “I was hoping you were still awake.”

  “I was just getting ready to read a few verses from the Bible before I go to bed,” Allison replied.

  “Mind if I come in so we can talk awhile?”

  “Be my guest,” Allison said, motioning him into the room.

  Peter stepped inside and took a seat on the end of Allison’s bed. “I’m worried about you, Allison.”

  “Why would you be worried about me? Aunt Catherine’s the sick one here.”

  His forehead wrinkled. “I know that, but you’ve been working hard night and day. I’m afraid if you don’t slow down some you’re going to collapse.”

  She shook her head. “You sound more like Papa now, and not my little bruder.”

  “I’m not your little brother, Allison. In case you’ve forgotten, I’m two years older than you.”

  “I know, but you’re my youngest brother, just the same.”

  Peter smiled, but then his face sobered. “I wish you hadn’t felt it necessary to come home so you could take care of us.”

  “I love you and Papa, so I wouldn’t have it any other way.” She shrugged. “Besides, I wanted to be here for Aunt Catherine during her time of need.”

  Deep wrinkles formed in his forehead. “I don’t think she’s got long for this world, do you?”

  Allison shook her head. “Short of a miracle, Aunt Catherine’s going to die soon, and I want to be sure she knows Jesus in a personal way before she goes.”

  “How can you care so much after all the mean things she’s said to you over the years?”

  “The way I felt about Aunt Catherine changed after I accepted Jesus as my Savior.”

  Peter nodded slowly. “You have changed a lot since you came home from Missouri.”

  Allison stared at her Bible, lying on the table beside her bed. “I used to feel faceless, like my life had no purpose. But after Aunt Mary explained to me that God sent Jesus to die for my sins and that He does have a purpose for my life, everything changed.” She smiled. “I’m planning to be baptized and join the church this fall.”

  “That’s good to hear.”

  “Have you ever confessed your sins and asked Jesus to come into your heart, Peter?” Allison asked pointedly.

  He nodded. “I made that confession before the People when I was baptized and joined the church.”

  “I guess the truth of God’s plan of salvation never hit home with me until Aunt Mary explained things,” Allison said.

  Peter reached across the bed and touched Allison’s arm. “Mind if I ask you a personal question?”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “I was wondering why you wrote and asked Papa if you could stay in Missouri longer.”

  Allison’s face heated up, and she blinked a couple of times to keep her tears from spilling over. “I liked it there. I—”

  “Did you fall in love with someone? Is that why you wanted to stay?”

  She nodded slowly. If she spoke the words, she knew she would dissolve into a puddle of tears.

  “I don’t suppose you want to tell me who you’re in love with?”

  She shook her head. “It’s over between us, so there’s no point in even talking about it.”

  “That’s okay; you don’t have to.” Peter stood. “Maybe things will work out so you can go back to Missouri after Aunt Catherine—”

  Allison held up her hand. “Don’t even say it, Peter. My place is here now, and it will always be so for as long as Papa needs me.”

  Peter opened his mouth as if to say something more, but he closed it again and hurried out of the room.

  Allison reached for her Bible, feeling a strong need to read a passage or two before she fell asleep. I don’t want Aaron to get his hopes up about me going back there, because unless God provides a miracle, it doesn’t look like Aunt Catherine will make it. If she dies, Papa will need me here more than ever.

  As Allison read John 3:16 and reflected on how God had sent His only Son to die for the sins of the world, she felt a sense of urgency. She had tried on several occasions to witness to Aunt Catherine, but every time she brought
up the subject of heaven, Aunt Catherine either said she was tired and wanted to sleep, or became irritable and shouted at Allison to leave the room.

  “Dear Lord,” Allison prayed, “please give me the opportunity to speak with Aunt Catherine about You soon.”

  Chapter 28

  By the first of November, Aunt Catherine had become so weak she spent most of her time in bed. The pain in her body had intensified, and the medication brought little relief. Allison knew if she was going to get through to Aunt Catherine with the message of forgiveness, it would have to be soon. In desperation, Allison formulated a plan. She would make Aunt Catherine a faceless doll and attach a verse of scripture to it, the way Melinda’s stepfather did with the desserts he baked to give to folks he felt had a need. Maybe the verse would touch Aunt Catherine’s heart in a way Allison couldn’t do with words.

  Allison headed for the treadle sewing machine, which she discovered was covered with dust. It had obviously been some time since it had been put to use. Carefully, she cut out a girl doll, using the pattern Aunt Mary had given her. She also cut enough material to make a dark blue dress with a black cape and apron, a pair of black stockings, and a small white kapp. It made her think of the doll Mama had made—the one that went missing while she was in Missouri. She’d clung to the doll during her growing-up years, and even though she missed it, she realized what she missed most was not an inanimate object, but people—her aunt, uncle, cousins. . .and especially Aaron.

  Allison closed her eyes and drew in a weary breath. She felt so tired and discouraged. Nothing she’d said or done had seemed to please Aunt Catherine. To make things worse, she missed Aaron so much she felt as if her heart could break in two. The only good thing that had happened in her life lately was that she’d been baptized and joined the church a few weeks ago. But even that positive happening hadn’t filled the void Allison had felt since she’d left her family and friends in Missouri.