by Rose Francis
I didn’t have to ask who.
“Can I stay with you? I don’t want to sleep by myself tonight.”
“I don’t think I do, either.” He scooted over, making space on his full-sized bed for me.
I clambered into bed beside him and he shoved one of the pillows at me.
I wanted him to hold me like how he’d held me on the bridge. I wanted him to kiss me and tell me that, despite everything, things would be alright. That we’d be alright. He was all I had left now. The world had tipped on its axis and he was the only one I could hold on to. I opened my mouth to tell him all of this but suddenly the image of him beating Mr. Grayson’s head into a pulp came to my mind. Gideon had been through a lot today. I could not imagine how he must have felt seeing Ma and Pa turned into monsters. I couldn’t imagine the strength and courage he must have had to summon in order to defend himself and send them to their eternal rest.
I turned on my side, away from my brave Gideon. He didn’t need the pressure of hearing me tell him how much I was counting on him and how much I needed him. He knew all that already, anyway. Or, he should. What he didn’t know was how much I loved him and wanted him. But I couldn’t tell him that either. He’d made it clear after our kiss that he didn’t want to hear that kind of talk from me.
My tears dampened the pillow. I hadn’t understood anything about the affliction God had sent against mankind when we first heard about it a week ago and I certainly didn’t understand anything about what had happened today. Last night when I’d gone to sleep I had a mother and a father who loved and cherished me. Today, they’d both been taken from me. And I didn’t know why or what any of it meant.
I guess Gideon heard my sniffles because he shifted on the bed. A minute later, his arm came around my waist and he spooned himself against my back.
“Don’t cry, Faith,” he murmured, his breath tickling my ear. “I’m here. I’m still here.”
“I know but…I can’t believe they’re gone.”
“I can’t either,” he admitted. “I keep thinking I’m gonna wake up any minute now and find out it’s just an awful nightmare.”
“If only they hadn’t gone into town.”
“Pa would have said it was the Lord’s will they were taken but it just don’t feel right. They were good people. They didn’t deserve to end like that.”
“It can’t be God’s will. All these people dying and turning into monsters. The Bible doesn’t say anything about people eating people in the End Times. Why is this happening? Maybe it’s Satan’s doing but why would God allow it?”
“I can’t answer you, baby. I’ve got the same questions.”
That word again. Baby. Suddenly I realized that something hard was pressed against my panty-clad bottom. I froze. It was unmistakable. Gideon had an erection. The awareness that just a few thin layers of fabric separated me from feeling his penis against my bare bottom electrified me.
Did he realize what was happening? Surely he must, yet he didn’t move. A million thoughts ran wildly through my mind. I couldn’t think clearly. All I wanted was to rub my bottom back on his hardness, just a little bit, just for a minute, a second, that was all. I wriggled my hips and pushed back on him, expecting him to jerk away from me at any moment. Instead, the hand he’d placed around my waist started moving, started stroking my stomach in a light circular motion. I almost moaned out loud but bit my lip in time to stifle the sound. Gideon’s touch set me on fire. An ache flared between my legs and my nipples hardened into stiff little pebbles.
Gideon’s thumb brushed the underside of my breast and I bit my lips again. I was so afraid of saying or doing something that would make him stop that I could scarcely breathe. Delicious and unfamiliar feelings ran up and down my spine.
Then Gideon lightly cupped my breast and scratched my nipple with his thumbnail. This was happening for real. I moaned softly, unable to stop the sound from escaping my lips.
“Faith?” Gideon propped himself up on his elbow and leaned over me. “Oh, God, I’m sorry, Faith. I…don’t know what came over me. I’m so sorry.”
He jerked away and was about to leap off the bed but I grabbed his arm.
“Don’t you dare,” I said, flipping around to face him. “I liked it,” I said boldly, wishing the room was brighter so I could read his dark eyes. “I liked how you were making me feel. Please touch me.” I tugged his arm toward me and placed it on my breast.
“Faith!” He snatched his hand away. “I can’t. It’s…it’s wicked and sinful. Things like this, they’re why God sent the Risen into the world.”
“But, we’re still here, Gideon. They haven’t taken us.”
“Maybe that’s why Ma and Pa were taken, though. Because of our sin.”
“No.” I refused to believe that. “And what about Mr. Grayson? And John Bain?”
“I don’t know,” he murmured. “I don’t know. I’ve wanted you for so long, Faith. The sin in me--”
“Are you serious?” I interrupted him. “You’ve wanted me?”
“Yes,” he grunted hoarsely, his face so close to mine I could feel his breath on my skin. “You’re so beautiful, Faith. That’s why I couldn’t help myself that day in the milking parlor. It was…you were in my arms and I just wanted to taste you.”
“But why didn’t you say something? You’ve just been avoiding me ever since. I thought you hated me.”
“Faith!” He sounded shocked, like it had never occurred to him that I’d think that. “I love you and I want you. I want you so much it hurts but we--”
“Stop.” I placed my fingers on his lips, light-headed with joy. “Don’t say anything else.” I wrapped my arms around him, and threw my leg over his thigh, pulling him so close our foreheads touched as our breaths mingled. His hardness pressed into my lower abdomen. “This afternoon, I felt so alone with everybody gone. Now Ma and Pa are dead, you’re all I have left.”
“Faith, I’ll never leave you. I promise.”
His lips sought mine with a desperate urgency and I opened my mouth to him. His tongue slipped past my lips and I dissolved in pure pleasure as I fused my body to his. Then he broke away, panting.
“Faith, I shouldn’t.” He tried to struggle out of my arms but I wouldn’t let him. “We shouldn’t.”
“Stop this, Gideon. Don’t do this. We’re not related and we’re not doing anything wrong.”
He sighed heavily. “I know we’re not blood relatives but I just can’t get out of my head what Pa and Ma would have said if they saw us like this. Pa would kill us. I feel like I’m corrupting you or something.”
I reared back to stare at him in the dim light. He couldn’t be serious. “Don’t you get it?” I asked. “I want this. I’ve wanted it for a long time now.” I told him about all the times I’d masturbated while daydreaming about him touching me, kissing me.
The shock on his face was priceless. “Touching yourself’s a sin, Faith. You know that.”
“Don’t pretend you haven’t done it, too.”
His silence told me all I needed to know.
“My point is that I want this.” I slid my hand down between our bodies and grabbed his erection, startling myself at the size of him. His penis was thick and solid, like a hard piece of living wood. Gideon gasped at my touch.
“Faith,” he groaned. His breathing grew ragged. “Oh, Faith.” We kissed as his hand moved between my legs and now it was my turn to gasp as his fingers brushed the crotch of my panties. I wanted him. I wanted him inside me now. Still holding on to him with one hand I reached down and pulled my panty aside to give him full access to my aching privates.
“Ah,” I cried as he ran his fingers along my wet slit. He touched my little nub and I cried aloud again as tendrils of fire spread through my body.
I released his penis and whipped my nightgown over my head. Gideon immediately latched his mouth to one of my nipples, sucking as hard as a newborn calf at its mother’s teat. I’d had no idea having my breast sucked on would make
me feel like I’d died and gone to heaven.
Gideon hooked his fingers in my panties and tugged at them. Understanding what he wanted, I lifted my hips and he pulled my undies down past my thighs and off my ankles. He turned over on his back and quickly kicked off his pajama pants.
My eyes widened at the sight of his member. Now that it was no longer trapped inside his pants it seemed even bigger than I’d thought. I wrapped my hand around it, marveling at its heat and hardness. Could this really fit inside me, I wondered. I felt a pang of fear but I quickly overcame it as Gideon pushed me on my back and climbed over me. His soft kisses landed on my face like rain.
“It’s going to hurt when I go in,” he whispered. “Not a lot. Maybe just a little.”
I nodded, trying not to show how frightened I was. Where had Gideon come by this knowledge? He’d had girlfriends but premarital sex was forbidden in our church. Could he--? Had he--? A stab of jealousy sliced through me but I forced it away.
I felt the tip of his penis between my legs and then it, oh, goodness, then it was inside me and he was pushing it deeper and deeper into me.
“You’re so tight, Faith.” He kissed me and I realized this was a good thing, to be tight for your man. Was Gideon my man now? Yes, tonight he was, and tonight might be all we had.
He pushed himself deeper into me and that’s when I felt it, a faint discomfort. I gasped and Gideon pulled back.
“No!” I cried. I wrapped my legs around his hips, holding him to me.
“Are you sure, Faith?” he asked, his voice hoarse with longing.
“Very sure.” Well, I wasn’t sure about the pain but I was very sure about wanting him. If I was going to die tomorrow I really didn’t want to die without having experienced what sex was all about. In our house, we’d never even talked about it.
“Alright, I’m just going to do it quick,” Gideon said. “If it hurts too much just tell me and I’ll stop, okay?”
I nodded to show him that I understood. Then, with one quick thrust, Gideon drove himself into me again and I squealed in agony at the sharp stabbing pain.
“Faith!” He tried to pull back but I dug my heels into his butt and wouldn’t let him. It hurt but, already, the pain was lessening and being replaced with something very different, a melting heat that hummed along my flesh.
“Gideon…please….” I didn’t know exactly what I wanted but I knew that if he pulled out now I’d surely die. I tilted my hips up to meet his and Gideon groaned. He started moving again.
It was as if, with each thrust, he touched my core. Something warm and golden and delicious gathered itself in the pit of my stomach, gaining strength with each of Gideon’s thrusts. He shoved his hands under my bottom, pulling me upward to meet his hard flesh as he drove himself into me over and over. Molten bliss roared through me. My convulsions shook my body as a storm of sensations swept through me. Later, Gideon would tell me I’d had what he called an ‘orgasm.’ I’d never heard of it before but I liked it. I liked it very much.
Gideon’s own movements quickened and, in the room’s half-light, I saw his face twist as a guttural moan escaped from his lips. He jerked his hips, once, twice. A light sheen of perspiration appeared on his face and his breathing quickened. His seed exploded in me as I instinctively clamped down on him. Then it was over and he subsided, panting.
“Are you alright?” he asked, searching my face worriedly. “Are you hurting?”
It was like his question opened the floodgates. Yes, I was hurting, but he’d made it better, he had, so I didn’t understand why, suddenly, an abyss of grief opened up in me. I wept as a sorrow, deep and wide as the ocean, engulfed me. I wept for myself and I wept for Ma and Pa and Mr. Grayson and for everything I’d ever known and loved. I wept for who I’d been and in terror of what I might become. And, through it all, Gideon held me, rocking me like a baby, reminding me by his embrace that I was not alone. We would face whatever came our way, together.
END
***
The Risen Dead series continues!
love Awakened (Book Two)
The Valley of Shadows (Book Three)
Out of Darkness (Book Four)
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