by Bebe Wilde
Then he was back to me, to my lips, kissing me and his cock was teasing me between my legs, moving around down there before he put it all the way in. And that felt good. So, so good. He had a good sized dick and knew how to use it. He fucked me with it hard, then slowed down, sucking at my breasts, then fucked me hard again. We got into a rhythm and it was too much. I started to come again and he was right there with me, coming into me, inside of me, fucking me. And I couldn’t get enough. I wanted more. But that was it, that orgasm, that intense, soul shattering orgasm.
When it was over, he kept kissing me, holding my face with his hands, not letting me move. He pulled back and stared deeply into my eyes and said, “I think I might love you.”
I stared back and said breathlessly, “Yeah, I know how you feel.”
He cracked up, kissed me on the cheek, and said, “Fine. I’ll say it. I love you. I don’t care ’cause that’s the way I feel.”
“You’re crazy,” I said and shook my head at him. “I mean it, you’re nuts.”
“Nuts about you,” he said. “Come on, say it back.”
I shook my head, even though I was feeling it. I’d never felt such a strong connection to a guy before, not even Jed, not even after we’d dated for a while. What was with this guy?
“Say it,” he said and kissed me again. “I won’t stop until you do.”
“Fine,” I said. “I’ll say it. You’re nuts.”
He threw his head back and laughed loudly. “I’ll take that. For now.”
He sighed, giving up and then laid down behind me, spooning me, pressing his face into my hair. I just lay there, my heart still beating rapidly from the sex we’d just had. Oh, but this felt good, too. I felt so alive and so refreshed. Then I realized I’d never had sex that good. It was, indeed, the best sex I’d ever had. I can honestly say that that’s probably why I stayed with him, why I fell in love. He was so good in the sack. He gave everything he had and something inside of me just turned on and I wanted what he gave and I took it greedily, even asking for more. And I gave him everything I had. Our sex life was out of this world. It really, really was. The only time we stopped having sex was when I got miffed at him for something and usually, I was only upset for a few hours. I wanted him all the time. He wanted me all the time. Our lust was literally uncontainable.
But, in reality, I didn’t think after that first time we had sex we’d stay together. He’d said he loved me, and I felt the same way about him, but who does that? Who jumps head first into a relationship right out of the gate? Well, Bear did. I didn’t think he was serious but he was. And he proved it. After a full day of hot sex—and I mean hot as he had carpet burns on both knees, as did I, —he cleaned out his entire closet, telling me it was mine. Of course, he had thrown all his clothes on the floor and left them there, but still.
“But all my stuff is at my old apartment,” I said. “And I don’t want to go back there.” Especially after I’d left the breakup voicemail on my ex’s phone. He’d left me one or two, as well, telling me he hated my guts and I was just a cold, hard bitch. How could I do this to him? What was wrong with me? Had I lost my fucking mind? If I wanted to come back, I’d better get in my car and be ready at the door with an apology. Yeah, he said that. But I knew Jed and I knew he was really hurting. He said awful things when his feelings were hurt. And I felt bad that I’d hurt them but, in my defense, I was leaving him anyway, even if I hadn’t met Bear. The fact of the matter was that I was simply sick of him. So, no, I didn’t want to see him, not this soon. Probably not ever.
“I’ll go get it,” Bear said.
“What?” I asked, a little shocked.
“Give me your key and the address and I’ll go,” he said.
“But what if Jed’s there?” I asked. “You don’t want to mess with him.”
He shrugged. “He doesn’t scare me.”
Jed scared a lot of people. He was really tall and a little imposing looking, that’s why he was always able to get bouncer and bar back jobs. If something happened in the bar, he was usually the one called on to throw the offender out. Besides that, he was a supreme hothead. He was such a hothead, many people in his own family avoided him. My own mother didn’t like him at all when we were dating.
I stared at Bear and thought about it. I imagined him and Jed in a mixed martial arts fight for a moment. They were about equally matched, though Jed might have had an inch or so on him, so it was a draw. But Bear was more muscular, so it could go in his favor. However if we brought the bedroom aspect into it, Jed would be the one tapping out. Bear had him beat all the way around in that capacity. Who would win was anyone’s guess. It would be a hard match to bet on.
“Give me the address, Willa,” he said.
“But you don’t know what’s my stuff,” I said.
He leaned back and studied me. “I think I can figure it out, Willa. Panties, bras, lady stuff. Let me have the key.”
“Are you sure?” I asked. “I mean, it’s no big deal. I can get some more stuff.”
“It’s your stuff and he shouldn’t be allowed to keep it,” he said. “That’s not fair.”
There was no talking him out of it. It was like he was a man on a mission to retrieve his fair lady’s belongings or something. So I, with much reluctance, handed the key to him. He returned a few hours later with all my stuff, plus some of Jed’s. Naturally, he had run into Jed and they’d gotten into a fight. He also had a black eye.
“But you should see him,” he said and laughed. “He’s pretty fucked up.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, dreading the answer. I grabbed his face and studied his eye. It was really bad looking. Poor thing. Oh, God, what else did Jed do to him? I’d kill Jed if he hurt him too bad.
“I mean, he’s fucked up,” he said proudly.
“Did he hurt you?” I asked.
“What? No!” He leaned back and studied me. “What do you mean, did he hurt me? You think I’ve never been in a fight before?”
“You haven’t been in a fight with Jed,” I said.
“Well, I got into one with him today.”
“If I had known you were going to pick a fight with him, I would have gone over there myself.”
“First of all, he’s pissed,” he said. “I wouldn’t have allowed you to go over there. It’s no telling what he would do.”
I just stared at him. He wouldn’t have done anything. He would have yelled and annoyed me but that would have been about it. I’d been handling Jed since high school. He’d always been putty in my hands.
“And, secondly, he threw the first punch. So, no, I didn’t pick a fight with him. But I put him down.”
My mouth dropped to the floor. “You beat Jed up? Seriously?”
“Yup,” he replied, very proud of himself, then narrowed his eyes at me. “Why? Is that surprising?”
“No one’s ever beat him up before,” I said in admiration “He’s usually the one who’s doing the beating.”
“Not today he wasn’t,” he replied very flippantly.
I was in awe. Who the hell was this guy? No one, and I repeat, no one, had ever gotten the best of Jed. That, in and of itself, was a feat. Back home, guys would pick fights with him because he was so big, perhaps to prove their masculinity. Nevertheless, he’d beat the crap out of all of them. Even so, he’d met his match in Bear. It was unreal.
I found myself falling in love with Bear, head over heels in love. He was kind, he was funny, he was protective, and he was one of the most generous, giving men I’d ever met. He made me breakfast, lunch and dinner. From scratch. He let me do whatever I wanted to the house and helped me do it. I even quit my job as a receptionist and got a job waiting tables closer to the house and he… Well, he surfed.
I didn’t know how famous he was mainly because I was from a small town in the South. We didn’t surf in the South. We hunted and fished, or at least that’s what most of our men did. Some women, too. Or we go hiking
in the mountains or go mudding or rafting in the rivers. And we eat a lot of fried chicken. That was about it. Not really, but almost. But one day Bear was out surfing—what else—and I was in the garage putting some of my stuff in there when I discovered some of his trophies. And there were a lot. He’d won so many surfing competitions it was unbelievable. And they were from all over the world, too—Australia, Hawaii, Tahiti and, of course, California.
Suddenly, I began to wonder, just who was this guy?
I immediately went inside and began to Google him. What came up almost made me fall out of my chair. He was the shit. That champion surfer on the posters in the bedroom? That was him. He had been gigantic. And when he retired at the ripe old age of twenty-four, it made world headlines. “Why is Bear leaving?” It was a mystery everyone wanted to know. Why had he stopped competing? He’d had a long, very lucrative career.
“What are you doing?” he asked, coming in from the kitchen.
I glanced at him in his wetsuit, then back the computer. “Why didn’t you tell me who you are?” I asked.
“What do you mean? Who I am?” he said. “I’m just me.” He glanced over my shoulder at all the press on himself, and shook his head. “That’s all bullshit, Willa. Don’t read it.”
“Bear,” I said. “What’s the deal? Why did you quit? You had endorsement deals from the biggest surf supply companies in the world. Who walks away from something like that?”
“It was time,” he said. “I wanted to go out on top and so I did.” He grinned at me. “I’m hungry. Let’s go get some fish tacos.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “That’s all I get?”
He nodded. “That’s all there is, baby,” he said. “Let’s be cool about it.”
I thought about it and nodded. Why not be cool about it? He was once the world’s biggest surfer and now he wasn’t. He’d made a lot of money which he’d spent partying all over the world, buying a little beach house and being overly generous with friends. I loved him for who he was, not who he’d been. And so I accepted what he’d told me at face value and I loved him for it, for who he was. And it was enough.
But now it wasn’t enough. But now, I wanted more. Now I wanted him to get back out there, get back on top and make us some money. But regardless of what I said, he wouldn’t budge. He still had a little left of what he’d earned and that got him through, along with what I made. Sometimes, he did public appearances or boat shows or things like that and brought in money, too. But mostly, it was me earning the money.
I knew we’d never have that much living the way we did and that made me angry. I didn’t want to keep doing what we were doing, living in the little beach house with no hope of ever moving to a bigger place. We lived well and we ate well, but I wanted more. And I shouldn’t have had to feel bad about wanting more. Bear loved the simple life but I was over it. He had chosen it, but I hadn’t. I was over his loser friends constantly barging into the house at all hours of the day and eating all of our food. I was over the sand on the floor all the time and the stinking wetsuits. I was over the tins of surf wax all over the patio. I was over feeling like I was living in some college kid crash pad. I was over feeling like I was stuck. I was over feeling like I was trapped.
But that’s where I was, stuck living with a man I loved and yet sometimes loathed. Maybe loathed was a bit harsh, but sometimes I felt like that. He’d been so ambitious in his earlier years and now he was just plain lazy. Why didn’t I get to enjoy any of those lucrative years with him? Well, we’d met too late, that’s why.
I knew I could make it on my own. I knew after I partnered with Quinn I’d have plenty of money. And I knew I wanted to do just that. But where did Bear fit into all this? Did he even fit at all?
Just then, he came out onto the patio and sat down in the chair next to mine. He stared at me then acknowledged Cupcake with a pat on the head. He sighed loudly and said, “If you want to, I can call my mom about the house.”
I nodded slightly and looked around. “I don’t know, Bear. I know you really don’t want to and I don’t think I can handle the guilt associated with you doing something like that.”
“We don’t have to move to have a kid,” he said.
“I’m not getting into this,” I said. “And it’s not just to have a kid, Bear. It’s to have a different life. A life not overrun by surfers and sand all over the floor all the time.” I paused and took breath. “It’s like we’re living like college students or something.”
He sighed and looked away from me. “I’ll do anything you want,” he said and turned back to me. “You know I will because I don’t want to lose you. But, Willa, please don’t take this away from me.” He grabbed my hands and squeezed them. “I am begging you, please don’t make me choose.”
I almost burst into tears. He would do anything I wanted, even giving up surfing. Well, giving up living next to the beach so he could surf whenever he wanted at least. He wouldn’t give up surfing completely. Not even for me. But he was willing to move, just to please me, just to keep me. But I couldn’t ask this man with his love of the ocean to do that. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us. He lived to surf, literally. I was just the girl who waited at home. But I was going to be fine with that. At least for now. I had to let it go because this argument would lead to nowhere with him. I was wasting my time and I knew it. I just wanted to move on and just think about my new job.
I shook my head. “No,” I said. “I won’t ask you to choose. Just forget I said anything.”
“No, I know it means something to you,” he said. “I know that. And I want you to have what you want.”
I stared at him and smiled. “I do have what I want. It’s just sometimes the things I want keep me from getting the other stuff I want.”
He smiled and pulled me out of my seat and then into his lap. He hugged me tightly and kissed my shoulder. “You’re the best girlfriend a surfer could have.”
“I am,” I said. “And don’t ever forget it.”
The Stick Bug Has Moved
The next day, Quinn called just as I’d gotten out of bed and was in the kitchen looking for something to eat. The cupboards were empty, as usual, as Bear had friends over all day yesterday. That always happened. I’d buy a hundred bucks worth of groceries, take them home, put them up and then they’d disappear, into the abyss of hungry surfers’ stomachs, never to be seen again. It used to bother me but I had gotten used to it. No, that’s not true. It still bothered me, but what could I do? Start screaming about it and look like a complete psycho? No, thank you.
“Hey,” Quinn said. “Sorry to be calling on an early Sunday morning but do you remember that house we just did in Los Feliz?”
I groaned. The house of contention, as I’d been calling it. Yes, I remembered. I said, “Sure I do.”
“Anyways, we apparently left some plastic upstairs when we were unwrapping some of the furniture,” she said. “Would you mind going over there and picking it up? The real estate agent pitched a bitch fit this morning over it. She’s got an open house this afternoon.”
“Oh, okay,” I said.
“I’d do it myself but I’ve got a thousand things to do, laundry being the most important,” she said. “Also, you live a little closer.”
“God, I hate laundry,” I said and turned around, leaning against the counter, then shook my fist in the air. “It’s always laundry!”
“It is, isn’t it?” she said. “It’s like I do a load, sleep, then another one magically appears. And I’m just one person!”
“Add a Bear to that,” I said. “And then you’ll really see.”
She laughed. “Well, thanks in advance,” she said. “I really appreciate it.”
“No problem,” I said. “Now I can say goodbye to it properly.”
She laughed. “Bear didn’t go for the idea of moving, did he?”
“Of course not,” I said. “But I knew he wouldn’t. He’s too rooted here.”
; “You’re right about that,” she said. “Just make sure that you get there before twelve or so.”
“Will do,” I said. “Bye.”
“You’re the best,” she said cheerily. “Bye!”
I hung up and turned my phone off just as Bear came into the kitchen. I glanced up at him. He had shaved his beard again and his face was smooth and handsome, which I really liked. God, he looked hot, even in the morning. He was shirtless, wearing only his boxers but he smelled really fresh and good from just taking shower. I needed to get me some of that.
He gave me a good look over, especially my outfit of oversized pajama bottoms and an old t-shirt of his that said, “Don’t Poke The Bear!” and had a bear on the back flipping a bird. Some fan had made up these t-shirts at the height of his fame and they sold like hotcakes. Now they were my nightshirts.
“What’s up, pretty?” he asked.
“Come here,” I said.
He came over and I touched his smooth face, smiling up at him, then I pulled him down by the jawbone and kissed him, loving the fresh taste of toothpaste. I pulled back first and licked my lips. Yum didn’t begin to cover it.
“Don’t stop,” he said and came back for another one.
“No, I have to get moving,” I said and shook my head.
“Please?” he asked.
I gave him one more big kiss, then pushed him away for real this time. “I don’t have time,” I said.
“Why not? I can be quick, you know that.”
I eyed him. “That does not sound good.”
“No!” he exclaimed. “Not like a jackrabbit! I mean, you know. I shouldn’t have to explain this.”
“Then don’t,” I said. “But I really don’t have time.”
“Why not?”
“I have to go back to the house of contention and pick up some trash,” I said.
He eyed me. “The house of contention?”
