by Bebe Wilde
I mean, I knew it was partially his because I wouldn’t have even played the lottery if he hadn’t asked me to. Or, rather, he hadn’t trained me to. It had become a force of habit with me. But now it had paid off and we were going to live very, very well once I cashed the ticket in. I just couldn’t let him screw everything up the way I knew he probably would.
Just then, Bear looked around and something caught his eye. Without a word, he got up, picked up the lottery ticket and threw it into the trash.
“Why did you do that?” I asked breathlessly.
“It’s worthless,” he said. “You were right all along about the lottery. It’s a fool’s game. I’m going to stop playing. No one ever wins.”
That wasn’t exactly true. At least not this time.
He bent over and hugged me. “I just want to spend some time with my lady. I missed you so much!”
He kissed my cheek. I wriggled away. “I warned you about that lady shit,” I said and pointed to the bathroom. “And you need a shave. Go in there and get rid of that scruff. It’s rubbing me raw.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said and disappeared into the bathroom.
“Finally,” I muttered and raced over to the trashcan and grabbed the ticket. I scanned the numbers just to make sure I hadn’t hallucinated the whole thing. No, the numbers lined up. I checked them on my phone just to be sure and, sure enough, I had the winning ticket! Suddenly, everything felt right. It felt good, like everything was going to be okay. I smiled and breathed a deep sigh of relief. Thank God for losers like Bear who invested so much effort in empty dreams such as this. But then again, who says money doesn’t bring happiness? Fuck that. I knew this was going to make me happy, at least for a while. I’d been without any real financial security for most of my life, so I couldn’t wait to just have that feeling that I had enough money to cover everything I needed and wanted. I couldn’t wait to feel that security once I was cuddled up underneath all those dollar signs.
And I was going to do right by Bear, too. I was going to let him do anything he wanted, within reason, of course. He could have all the new boards he wanted, all the surfing trips, all the pot. No, he was going to have to stop smoking pot. He did need to grow up a little.
He came out just then. I turned to him and decided it was time to tell him. I couldn’t wait, actually. He was going to be so excited. I took a breath and said, “We won the lottery.”
He rolled his eyes. “Sure, we did,” he said and rubbed his face. “I hate using your lady razors. They fuck up my face. Look at how red it is!”
I looked. Yes, it was raw but he would live. I told him this.
He laughed. “But I liked that body wash,” he said and held up his elbow. “Smell me. I smell like a pretty tropical flower.”
“And you sound like a dumbass,” I said.
“Smell me,” he said again, laughing a little.
I sniffed. He did smell nice. “Yes, you smell good. Can we move on now?”
He shrugged. “Hey, have you seen my shoes?”
He didn’t believe me about the lottery. He really didn’t. Maybe that was a sign. I just stared at him, then turned and sat on the bed. He started getting dressed and I watched him, remembering our first few years together, how much crap I overlooked. I loved him more than anything, but I knew winning this money would change everything because that’s what money does, it changes everything. I knew then that the best decision was to wait to tell him until I had the money secured. Until I had control of it.
“Willa?” he said.
I jerked a little and replied, “What?”
“Have you seen my shoes?”
I pointed to them over by the bathroom door.
“Good,” he said and picked them up, then sat beside me and put them on. “Listen, I have to go. I just remembered something I have to do.”
“What?”
“Nothing,” he said, shaking his head.
“What?” I asked and leaned back to stare at him. “What are you up to?”
“I just want to clean the house before you get home, that’s all,” he said. “Is that okay?”
I smiled. “It’s fine.” Then I thought about it. “Are you really going to clean the house?”
He nodded. “I am,” he said and kissed me on the forehead. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” I replied and cupped his chin in my hand and pulled him to me for a deep, long kiss. I pulled back first and stared into his eyes. Everything was going to change after this. We were going to be filthy, sticking rich. But I wanted him to know how much I loved him right then, right in that moment just in case it changed us too much and we got lost in all the money. That happened. People broke up after they won the lottery. I didn’t want that to happen to us, of course, but if it did, I wanted him to know how I felt right then. “I mean that, too, Bear, I really, really love you.”
“I really, really love you, too,” he said then chuckled. “Are you sure you didn’t get bumped on the head last night or something?”
“Only when you were fucking me,” I said and smiled. “Now go.”
I will,” he said and went to the door. “See you later.”
I nodded but didn’t answer. As soon as he was out of the room, I doubled checked the numbers once again on the ticket to make sure I wasn’t just crazy. But they were the right numbers. I had the winning ticket.
I had the winning ticket. Oh, my God! I was rich! Suddenly, it hit me and this time I became filled with such excitement I jumped up and down, pumping my fist into the air. Scenarios began to play in my mind. I imagined hosting parties like Gatsby and popping corks on expensive bottles of champagne and then spraying it at people off the balcony of a fancy house. I imagined driving a new, fancy sports car of some sort, chartering private jets, partying my ass off in places like Ibiza… I was going to have so much fun! I imagined it like I was in a music video, a song by Pitbull or somebody like that, buying diamonds and designer clothes and getting bottle service at fancy clubs and going to Vegas and playing the roulette table while I was dripping in diamonds and…
Then I imagined me and Bear getting it on on an exotic beach somewhere, just the two of us. Me and him… Always me and him.
But right now, just me. Just me and my fantasy of being a rich bitch.
Just then, my cell rang, jarring me out of my dream sequence. I picked it up to see it was Quinn calling. “Hello,” I said.
“Hey, girl,” she said. “We’re not going to do that house in the Valley today. They canceled. So, we’re going to go ahead and move onto that one in the Hills.”
“Got it,” I said and bit my bottom lip, wondering if I should at least tell Quinn. What should I do? I’d never had anything like this happen before.
“Cool,” she said. “So, did you ever talk to Bear?”
“I did,” I said. “We’re good now.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God! I am so sick of him calling me all the time.”
“I’ll make sure he never does that again,” I said. “I apologize for him.”
“It’s fine,” she said. “You know I love him.”
“Well, everyone does,” I said.
“But you’re the lucky lady he loves back,” she said.
I smiled. I was. And I was going to buy him something big. I know! I’d buy him a really cool, vintage cigarette boat. He loved those. And he loved to water ski. I could imagine him having the time of this life. I’d stay on the boat and sip a fruity tropical drink while sunbathing. Nah, I’d probably just have a cold beer.
“So, I’ll see you in a little bit,” she said.
“Yes, you will,” I replied and we said goodbye and hung up. Then I knew what I was going to do. I’d go in to work today, just like I always did. Then I’d go home that night, give Bear a big hug and a bigger kiss and then hand him the ticket. I was going to let him have it all, on the condition, of course, that he let me manage the money. And then we’d live happily ever
after.
If only it’d happened like that.
Money Changes Everything
That was about three months ago. I hadn’t seen or heard from Bear since then. Why? Well, it’s a short but sad story with absolutely no sweetness thrown in to take the bitter away.
I guess, as the events unfolded, I imagined something cool and melancholy like “High and Dry” by Radiohead playing during the montage of what happened. I imagined this song in the background to my and Bear’s separation and inevitable breakup. There I was, driving in my vintage and so-cool-it-hurt silver Shelby Cobra on an empty road by myself, looking really beautiful but sad at the same time. There was Bear, looking heartbreakingly handsome, paddling out all by his lonesome to catch a wave somewhere… There I was, again, sipping a sad looking glass of wine at a bar somewhere while some strange, but really good looking man, tried to pick me up. There was Bear, surrounded by a bevy of beauties at a beach party but having no interest in any of them at all.
But that’s not the way it happened. What happened was this: I went to work that day, just like I did every day. I could barely contain my excitement of winning that staggering amount of money, but I managed to. I daydreamed all day about all I was going to do for everyone—buy Quinn a cool mid-century modern home because that was her favorite kind, buy my mom an antebellum mansion, if we could find one for sale. And I was even going to do something really nice for my dad, too. I was sure he could use a new 4x4 or maybe his own houseboat. He’d mentioned that before, owning a houseboat. And, of course, since half the money was Bear’s, he could have whatever he wanted. Who knew what that would be exactly.
The point is, I was happy. I was going to give money to charities and make sure I did right by everyone I knew. But I was going to be smart with the money. That’s the important thing.
I worked until about one in the afternoon, then I asked Quinn if she would mind if I took the afternoon off.
“You don’t want to do lunch?” she asked.
“I do, but I have so much to do,” I said. “I have a few errands to run and then I have to get all my stuff out of the hotel. Is that okay?”
“It’s fine,” she said. “I told you that you could have stayed with me instead of at that expensive hotel.”
“But I had to spend Bear’s money on something,” I said.
We laughed and she told me she’d see me the next day. I got in my car and then drove back to the hotel and got my stuff. Then I got back in the car and drove towards the house when I remembered that Valextra bag I really wanted at the asshole’s shop. Without a second thought, I drove to the shop, got out and then went inside. As I approached the counter, I saw this small ceramic bear sitting on table. It was ugly as hell. I picked it up and the price read one-hundred and fifteen dollars. This guy was crazy. But I was rich now, so I could afford it. Nah. I set it back down and approached the counter, then asked the asshole if I could see the purse again. He reluctantly took it out and handed it to me.
I studied it, turned it over and looked inside. It was a beauty, that was for sure. But… I didn’t need this thing, no more than I needed that ceramic bear. It was overpriced, too. So I handed it back and told him I didn’t want it. And, as I backed away from the display cabinet, my butt hit the table where the ceramic bear was and knocked it over. The thing shattered into a million pieces. I looked up to see the asshole smirking and pointing at his “you break it you buy it sign” then groaned.
“I’ll just pay for that,” I said and then pointed at the purse. “And I’ll take that, too.”
He smirked and rang up my purchases, which I paid for using my credit card. I figured I’d pay it off the next month anyway, when I had all that money in my bank account.
After that, I was hungry so I went to this little Mexican place and had some lunch and a margarita. I didn’t mind eating by myself but I didn’t like the looks I got from a table of construction workers, either. Men just couldn’t help themselves. Whenever they saw a woman, they just had to stare and make them uncomfortable.
I hurriedly ate, paid and tipped the waitress and then left, getting into my car. Next stop was the liquor store where I bought some really, really good wine and some good beer for Bear. It was his favorite kind. He deserved a treat.
Then I started home. When I got there it was after four in the afternoon and I noticed the Beast was in the drive, so I knew Bear was probably down at the beach. Out of nowhere, Cupcake came barking happily towards me. I bent down and hugged him and kissed the top of his head. “Oh, I’ve missed you!” I exclaimed and scratched his head. “Want a treat?”
He barked and his whole body shook with excitement.
“Okay, then,” I said and gave him a few treats then stood. “You want to go down to the beach, boy?” I asked and patted my leg. “Huh, Cupcake? Want to go find Bear? Huh? Want to come with me?”
He barked in the affirmative so he and I went down to the beach to find Bear. As usual, there were a lot of people out but it was a hot day. What else should you do on a day like this? Bear was right. Going to the beach was the best. I looked for him out in the water. There were a few surfers I recognized but none of them were Bear and the waves were down, so they were just bopping up and down on their boards, probably about ready to call it a day. They threw their hands up at me and I waved back, looking around for Bear. There was no sign of him. Huh.
So, Cupcake and I sat down on the sand and watched the surfers. I scratched his head gently and we relaxed. It was nice. I was always so busy I rarely got to do anything like this. But then, it suddenly hit me. I could have a lot more days like this. But then, I realized that this was the last day my life would really be normal. It would all change after this. I was ready for that change, don’t get me wrong, but I wanted to hold onto it for a little longer. I’d had such a good time, such a good life with Bear, the thought of changing it with money was almost too much to handle.
But then I realized that I was looking at it all wrong. Money does change everything but that change doesn’t have to be negative. It could positive. It would be positive.
I stood and brushed the sand off the back of my pants with my hand. Just then, the pack of surfers came out of the water and stopped in front of me, all of them saying hello. One of them said, “Hey, Willa, you up for a party tonight?”
Everyone knew who I was. I was Bear’s girl, Willa. Everyone liked Bear, so everyone liked me. Well, mostly. “No, thanks,” I said and smiled at him. Again, I was bad with names, so I didn’t even attempt to say his.
“Tell Bear, okay?” he said. “It’s happening at the Bu and is going to go on all night. Then we’re all hitting the waves as soon as they start to roll in tomorrow morning.”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” I said and smiled at them. They weren’t getting Bear tonight. Tonight, he would be all mine. “See you, boys,” I said and Cupcake and I began the trek back to my house.
We stopped outside the backdoor and I kissed his head and hugged him and told him I was sorry for going away. He barked. Oh! He wanted his treat. I got my purse out of my car, gave him one and went inside the house.
The minute I walked in, I was shocked at what I saw. The whole place was spic and span. Bear had obviously worked his butt off cleaning all day. I looked around in awe, then glanced into the kitchen, then my mouth dropped.
He’d set our little kitchen table with a bouquet of pretty flowers, candles and a white linen tablecloth, which I knew he’d had to make a special point to buy as we didn’t have anything like that. There was yummy smelling and delicious looking food spread out all over the counter from some fancy restaurant I’d never heard of, then realized it was probably from some world renowned chef he had given surf lessons to.
A tiny ring box was sitting on top of the one the plates. It was so sweet it broke my heart. I picked the box up and opened it. Inside was the prettiest ring I’d ever seen, a vintage platinum and square-cut diamond solitaire. Wow. Who knew he had th
is much taste? This wasn’t something you just went to a jewelry store and got. He’d been looking and looking for this perfect ring for a while.
But then it hit me. I realized that he’d bought this sometime before and had been holding onto it, waiting for me to get to the point where I would say yes. I’d said yes last night, quite flippantly, but yes nonetheless. I guess we were getting married now. I smiled at the ring, loving it. And, boy, did I feel bad about the things I had said to him. And then I remembered what he’d said after I accused him of never buying me a ring. “But you never said yes,” he had said quietly. “So, I could never give you the ring.”
Best. Boyfriend. Ever.
He probably didn’t know the modus operandi about how to ask a girl to marry you and that you present the ring as you are popping the question, but that was Bear. Anytime I wanted to watch some romantic comedy, which might have helped clue him in on how all this worked, he’d say, “Oh, babe, let’s just put on Big Wednesday again.”
“Ugh! No!”
“But there’s a guy named Bear in it!”
“But—spoiler alert—he ends up a garbage man,” I said. “I mean, like literally, he’s picking in the garbage.”
“But he was cool at first,” he said. “Look at those boards he made!”
I had thought about it for a second before asking, “Did your mom name you after him or something?”
“No!” he exclaimed, then considered. “At least I hope not.”
He usually won out, especially after The Stick Bug Has Moved debacle. Fine. I’d buy him a tree house in Hawaii, too. I couldn’t help but smile and put the ring on my finger, marveling at the detailing and how it shimmered in the light. Suddenly, it dawned on me that I didn’t hear him. He was usually really noisy, talking, laughing, singing some song I’d never heard of or that he made up. I looked towards the bathroom. He must be taking a shower. Even though I didn’t hear any water, I ran in there, threw open the door and… No. He wasn’t there. But the room was so clean you could have eaten off the floor. Damn, I’d have to leave more often.
