“I’m not going to lie, Clover. I’m kinda bummed about it.”
“What? Why?” She looked alarmed. His statement had shocked the excitement out of her, at least for the moment.
“I like driving you to work. Now I don’t need to.” He smiled at her with that lopsided half-smile that always made her grin and kiss him. She didn’t let him down this time. She returned the smile and jumped off the bed and back into his arms.
He stopped the kiss before it could go very far. His bedroom was the exact wrong place for that. It would be so easy for him to forget himself and take advantage of the soft bed and her willingness. God knew his body was ready, but his aunt was somewhere in this house and he wasn’t ready for her to hear all the things he wanted to do to Clover.
Clover, with her deep green eyes and defiant independence that made him want to care for her even more, was making him forget all the reasons sex in his Aunt Tammy’s house was a bad idea. And she wasn’t even really trying. She hadn’t pushed for more since that first encounter when he’d clumsily revealed that he was still a virgin.
God, he’d been an idiot. If he’d been able to think at all, he could have explained that he wasn’t entirely inexperienced, even if he’d never had actual full-on sex. His confession had freaked her out and he didn’t blame her, and now he wasn’t sure how to tell her he was ready for more. He knew, without a doubt, that she wanted more. He just didn’t know that she wanted as much from their relationship as he did. Especially since she’d made it very clear that she wasn’t willing to change her plans for him.
Despite not being completely chaste, he’d waited for a reason. He wanted his first time to matter, to be more than desperate fumbling in the backseat of some car. He may have been willing to let a girl suck him off, and he loved feeling a girl come all over his fingers, but that was different. He didn’t need happily ever after from his first time. After all, he wasn’t a prince in a fairy tale. But he did need for it to mean something. He wanted to be in love.
So far, that hadn’t happened for him, but Clover was confusing the hell out of him. For the first time, he didn’t trust his own judgment on the matter. Was he chasing built up emotions that were more a product of his own creation than anything else? Clover was the girl he’d wanted forever. He’d fallen helplessly in love with her when he was still too young to know what love really was. But they’d been kids and what does a kid know about true love? Now that she was showing him some attention, had that childhood crush flared to life with a vengeance or were his feelings genuine?
Either way, all he knew for sure was that she was constantly on his mind. He felt a deep ache in his chest when she wasn’t around, and it grew even larger when she was. He wanted everything from her, but she was so focused, so determined to create a life that didn’t seem to hold any place for him. Yet the way she looked at him, the way she was looking at him in that moment, made him believe that if he told her he loved her, she would return the sentiment. Maybe she, like him, was just looking for the right time to say the words.
She patted his chest, then ruffled her hands through his hair. “What are you thinking about?”
“You.” He didn’t know how to articulate everything beyond that one simple word. Then he realized he could expand a little. “Us.”
Her face softened and she looped her arms around his neck. She played with the hair at the base of his skull and her fingers were so gentle, her touch so soft, he couldn’t help but close his eyes and groan. She wanted to go for a drive and he needed to remember that. To stay here with her was very, very dangerous. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from kissing her.
Clover’s lips tasted fresh, like a minty version of summer. Then, without him having to ask, she opened her mouth and he slipped his tongue inside. God, she was so open and warm and willing. Her body pressed closer and there was no way she didn’t feel his erection straining against his pants. She whimpered into his mouth and tried to get even closer.
“Clover.” He pulled away with a groan, but she drew him back in.
“Please, just…let me kiss you.” She pressed her tongue into his mouth this time and the feeling of her inside of him like that, with her tongue probing inside his mouth and gliding against his, made his brain go fuzzy and he gave up all pretense of resisting. Whatever she wanted, he was willing to do. Hopefully, his aunt was on the other side of the house.
He wrapped his arms around Clover and held her as close as possible. He wanted everything with her, to feel every last thing she was willing to give and to touch every part of her body, inside and out. He wanted to know her most intimate secrets, and then help her create new ones.
He didn’t notice that her hands had moved to his pants until they were undone and she stroked her fingers over the tip of his cock as she tried to free it from his underwear. Desire bolted through him like nothing he’d ever known before and he jerked his body away out of shock. He wanted her so badly that all he could think about was being inside her. He was the closest he’d ever been to losing control and that scared him.
He stood staring at her, his chest heaving and his thoughts clouded and confused. His body ached to let her finish whatever she’d been trying to start and he curled into himself, hunching over to protect his sensitive parts from scrutiny. As soon as he could move his hands without shaking, he tucked himself back into his pants and worked to close the front of his jeans. He couldn’t get his fingers to work properly. All he wanted was to take his cock out and stroke it, to let her touch it, suck it, ride it, until they were both sated.
She gaped at him, her eyes wide and scared. She reached for him, then drew back. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He took a deep breath, then another. He still couldn’t figure out how to work the zipper and it hurt to think about restraining himself so tightly.
“I could…” She took a tentative step toward him, her gaze locked on his, searching for an answer to something. He couldn’t think clearly enough to know what that was.
“What?”
“Just…tell me if…” She left the sentence unfinished as her hands touched his. She glided her fingers over his, her touch soft like satin.
He held his breath and watched, transfixed, as she pulled his hands away from his zipper, then stretched the fabric of his jeans open wide.
“Is this okay?” She still hadn’t touched him yet, but he knew that’s where she was going. All he could do was jerk his head up and down in a sloppy, uncertain nod. He didn’t know if it was okay or not, but he couldn’t bear the thought of her stopping again.
She very carefully pulled the fabric of his shorts down until his cock sprang free. It strained upward, hard and dripping with pre-cum. She didn’t touch him at all. She simply stood close enough for him to feel the occasional brush of her clothes against his cock as he shuddered with excitement.
He gripped her shoulders, his fingers digging in hard enough that he knew he should let go, but he needed to hold on to something. He was ready to beg her, but he had no idea if he would ask her to stop or to finish whatever it was she had started. He managed a strangled “please.”
“Are you sure?” She brushed the backs of her fingers against his stomach and he tensed and spasmed involuntarily. He was careful, though, not to pull away from her.
He nodded again, still unable to say the word yes. His world was reduced to the throb of his cock and the sliver of green that still showed around her dark pupils. As much as he wanted her, she wanted him just as badly. She smiled softly, then dropped gracefully to her knees.
Chapter 22
Five Years Ago
Jake lathered the shaving cream in his hands, then smoothed it over his face. His skin was too smooth yet to require daily shaving, but he did it anyway. He liked the ritual of it and the way he smelled when he was done. He’d started around Christmas by borrowing his dad’s supplies. When he’d realized what Jake was doing, he’d clapped his hand on his shoulder and hauled him off to the drugstore to get his own shaving ki
t. When they got home, he took Jake into the bathroom and showed him how to shave his face properly. It was one of the most normal things Jake had ever done with his dad.
Aunt Tammy pounded on the bathroom door. “Hurry up in there. I want to get these deliveries done before the sun goes down.”
Luckily, Jake was used to random loud noises at home, so the sound of his aunt banging on the door didn’t cause him to slit his own throat. He’d gotten a few nicks in the past few months and it was awful when it happened. The tiniest cut bled forever. As a result, he’d developed a steady hand very quickly.
“Almost ready.”
Jake was excited to help his Aunt Tammy make her deliveries. Last year she’d given him more chores around her place, but this was the first year she said she wanted him to go with her to drop off her orders. She had a drop point just south of Portland and they’d be gone most of the day.
He finished up and left the bathroom. She was right. They needed to hurry if they wanted to get there on time. He found his aunt outside loading the back of the cargo van with labeled boxes of meat from her walk-in freezer. The boxes were solid and they were leaving early enough that the meat would be fine until the buyers got it home, providing they didn’t take a day trip past Multnomah Falls on the way.
Jake watched her for a few minutes to figure out the pattern. His aunt wasn’t the type just to throw boxes in randomly. It only took a few moments to work out her system. The boxes were numbered and had various names printed on them; they were grouped by name. The clipboard setting on the running board had the customer names along with how many boxes each person should be getting. Between the two of them, they got the truck loaded quickly.
Jake and his aunt were just getting ready to head out when Clover and R.J. pulled into the driveway. They were dressed for the pool.
“Make it quick.” His aunt climbed into the driver’s seat to wait for him.
Jake jogged over to meet Clover as she pulled to a stop. She rolled down her window and he couldn’t help but smile. He’d only seen Clover and R.J. a handful of times that summer. That was the downside of being big enough to work. He didn’t get nearly as much time to hang out with his friends. He didn’t mind, though. His aunt had been taking him in every summer for years. This was the least he could do to repay her. He was glad he was finally old enough to be helpful.
Clover rolled down her window and Jake leaned on the edge of it. “Hey guys, what’s going on?”
“I’m on my way to work. Thought you might like to spend the day at the pool with us.”
“You’re going really early.”
Clover usually worked afternoons. It was barely eight in the moring.
She shrugged. “Yeah. Pool opens at nine for lessons. I’m teaching tadpoles to swim this week and next.”
“Really? That’s cool.” As far as he knew, she’d never taught lessons before. This had to be a big deal.
“Thanks.” Clover smiled, but he wasn’t sure if it was for him or the promotion at work.
“So go get your shit and come with us,” R.J. demanded with his usual tact. At eleven, he’d started to swear every chance he got. Jake remembered going through that stage. Of course he hadn’t realized how foolish it sounded at the time. Now, listening to R.J., he was glad he’d grown out of it.
Jake gestured toward the van. “I wish I could. I have to help my aunt make a delivery. We’re driving up to Portland. We won’t be back until dinnertime.”
“That sucks, dude,” R.J. said.
“Another time?” Clover was already rolling up her window and shifting into reverse.
“Yeah, for sure.” He didn’t know if she heard him because she was backing away as he spoke. “Another time.”
If he thought about it too long, he’d be upset. Instead, he focused on how cool it was that she’d stopped by at all. Then he ran back to the van and climbed inside. He had a job to do.
Chapter 23
Present Day
Jake was suspended in a surreal moment as he watched Clover. She knelt at his feet and looked up at him through her lashes. He knew somewhere in the back of his lust-fogged mind that he was in the middle of a life defining moment. He would be forever changed by what they were about to do.
He had no idea what his irrepressible need to let her do this said about him. It probably wasn’t flattering, but for the first time his desire weighed heavier than his need to repress it.
Clover held his gaze, her face open and beguiling, promising that he could trust her. Everything would be okay so long as he trusted her to take care of him. And he did. He trusted her with this moment and every moment going forward in his life.
Without a word, she lowered her eyes and then eased her lips around the crown of his cock. He shuddered and she pulled back slightly, but kept her mouth on him. After that, he stood still as she explored with her lips and tongue. She licked the length of him, then dipped her tongue into the cleft at the top. She closed her mouth around him and sucked him in until he could feel the back of her throat. She held him there for a moment before retracting.
He wanted so badly to thrust, to move his hips and push deeper until he was buried inside her. He wanted to feel the wet heat of her mouth surrounding him. Instead, he held his body rigid and let her lead the way. It felt so good, better than he’d ever imagined it would be with her, and he wanted it to last forever. That wasn’t possible he knew, and as his body grew tighter, he knew it would be over far too soon. All his mass drew to his low belly, balanced there like a spring-loaded trap waiting to be loosed.
“God, Clover…” His mind was filled with beautiful words to tell her how much he loved her, loved this, loved everything, but all that came out was a high keening whine as he dug his hands into her hair and just held on.
When she pushed as far as she could go once again, with his cock so deep in her mouth he could almost feel the press of her lips at the base, he pleaded with her for more. He whimpered and pushed his hips forward, deeper, until he slipped into her throat. He cried out as he bottomed out with his hips pressed into her face.
She gripped his thighs, her fingers digging in tight and leaving white impressions in his skin, but she didn’t pull away. She forced him to still his hips, and he felt a sublime ripple as she swallowed, letting her throat muscles work his cock. When she eased herself back, he could feel her smile.
From that point, she was firmly in control, working her mouth over his cock, sucking and sliding up and down his length. She fisted a hand at the base and jerked him off at the same time.
He tried to hold back, but then realized that there was no reason for him to do that. She clearly wanted this as much as he did or she wouldn’t have placed herself at his feet. That’s when he relaxed and the gates to heaven opened to him. He came with his cock buried in her mouth and her name on his lips. When he finally stopped spasming, he collapsed over the top of her. His cock, spent and soft, slid from her mouth.
She eased him down until he sat slumped on the floor next to her, and because her mouth was too close for him to possibly ignore, he kissed her. It was the first time he had tasted himself on the lips of a woman and, while he wasn’t crazy about the flavor of his come, the fact that it was on her lips drove him crazy with desire. Without even realizing what he was doing, he kissed her intensely until she fell onto her back from the pressure. He hovered over her and kissed her again. His cock, satisfied only moments ago, was rigid and straining for more.
“God, Clover, that was…” He spoke with his mouth still pressed against hers, and dipped his tongue into her mouth between syllables. The words came out so garbled he didn’t even understand himself. He pulled away long enough to look into her eyes and say, “Amazing.”
Clover whimpered and reached for him. She cupped the back of his head with one hand and guided his hand beneath her skirt with the other. As she thrust her tongue into his mouth, he slipped his fingers beneath the edge of her panties and the world stopped. She was so, so wet and he co
uldn’t believe how good it felt. She was wet and hot and open and perfect and he wanted inside her in the worst kind of way.
“Please.” She bucked her hips, riding the backs of his knuckles as he simply felt her. He hadn’t touched very many women like this, and none had made him feel the way Clover did. He was unprepared for how very badly he wanted it never to stop.
He grazed his hand higher, slipping through the moisture to explore every part of her. When he brushed her clit, she stopped rolling her hips. Her body shook from the effort to hold still and he really wanted her to start moving again, so he touched her there again.
“Yes.” She sobbed and moved like she was riding the tide. He played with her clit, circles, then flicking just the tip of his finger over it. It grew hard and distended. As her body tightened and her eyes rolled back, his last thought was how much he’d like to get his mouth on her. And then she came. She convulsed and jerked and gushed hot and wet all over his hand.
He didn’t know how women worked, exactly. Sure, he’d taken eighth grade sex ed, and he’d read a few articles in Playboy, but he didn’t know how much was myth, how much was theory, and how much was real. The only thing he knew with absolute certainty was that he wasn’t done. He wanted so much more of her and, as her body grew slack and her hold on his hair eased, he slipped her panties down and off.
The space between her legs felt like it was made just for him and he really wanted to climb a little higher until he could slip his cock inside her. He knew that was where he belonged and he would spend the rest of his life trying to prove worthy of what she was giving him that day. For now, however, he didn’t have a condom and he knew that neither of them could afford an unplanned pregnancy.
He wanted inside her so badly, but instead he pushed her skirt up and dropped his mouth to her pussy. He licked the length of it and moaned at the perfection. She was beautiful in every way.
“Oh God.” Clover groaned and gripped his head with both hands. “Yes.”
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