"That's the question, isn't it? And the answer is nothing. I sit around all day in my pop's old recliner and watch soap operas."
"Um..."
The waves of anger radiating off of him were almost palpable. But there was something deeper underneath. Desperation.
"Livy said you helped her with a school project. So that's something."
"Hmm. Well, maybe I could have a career tutoring kids. Oh, except I barely graduated high school."
She didn't know how to handle his anger and sarcasm. If he was one of her friends back in the city, she would be comfortable enough to offer an alternative. To say something.
"They have adult education scholarships," she said softly.
"What?" he barked.
She cleared her throat. "Scholarships," she forced the word out louder. "You could go back to school. The state university isn't too far from here."
"Did you hear me say I barely made it out of high school?"
She shrugged. "Doesn't mean you wouldn't do all right now. Especially as an older student."
"I'm not that much older," he muttered to the chicken.
Finally, Maddox and Livy returned, the girl wearing her apron and chattering excitedly.
Maddox looked between Justin and Haley. Thankfully, he didn't say anything.
But she wasn't sure how long that could last.
"So...thanks for bringing the freezer blaster thing out," Maddox said.
Haley laughed. "Blast freezer. You're welcome." She slipped out the Michaels' front door and down the porch steps, Maddox following.
The last bit of white light hung on the horizon as twilight deepened around them.
"The ice cream was...good," he said.
She glanced over at him, incredulous. She'd seen him palm a lightswitch as they exited the house, and now the porch light illuminated his faint smile and the day's growth of beard.
"Okay." His lips twitched. "It was better than good."
"It's incredible," she said. "And so is Livy."
She thought they had a real shot at making Livy's business a success. With Haley's education and her job as a marketing assistant back in Oklahoma City, and Livy's ingenuity, especially when it came to flavors, they had a chance.
He followed her to the truck, their shoes crunching in the gravel. She breathed in the cool country night air, nothing like the urban scents she was accustomed to in Oklahoma City.
"It must be hard to be away from her, traveling so much."
It must be difficult, period, for a man raising a young girl and trying to be an emotional support for his brother.
Maddox said nothing.
He'd been friendly enough over supper, asking about Haley's job and life back in Oklahoma City. But now he was quiet, pensive.
Haley had seen Livy's breathless hope when she'd presented the ice cream to her uncle. She remembered having that same gut-clenching feeling toward her own father. Whether she'd been handing him her report card or a cookie she'd baked herself, she'd wanted her father's approval, needed the emotional connection.
Maddox had praised the ice cream. But Haley also remembered that Livy hadn't gone to her uncle with the business plan.
And Haley wanted Livy to have that special connection with her uncle.
"I would have loved a childhood like this," she said, too vulnerable to look him in the face. She stared instead at the stars above the roof of the barn.
He snorted. "What, growing up with two bachelors?"
"Growing up with roots," she said softly.
He rested one palm on the top of the truck bed, and she leaned against the side and continued staring into the heavens. Another thing she missed living in the city—the bountiful stars.
"My dad and I moved around so much when I was growing up, I never felt like I belonged anywhere. You can give that to Livy. Roots."
"How come your dad didn't settle down?"
She shrugged. "He was always chasing...something. The next promotion. A different job..."
She breathed in deeply. "At first, I let myself get too attached to places. Found best friends. Settled into school. But I was never enough to make him stay. Or, my needs weren't..."
She felt it when he turned his head to look at her. A flare of heat hit her face.
"And I don't know why I'm telling you all this." She dusted off her hand on her jeans nervously and glanced at him. "I'm over it now. I have friends, good friends in Oklahoma City. I'm happy there. I'll be going back once Aunt Matilda..." She still couldn't finish the sentence.
"Good for you," he said. "I'm glad."
But he didn't say the same about himself. Why did he work so hard? Was he really happy on the farm, or did he think he didn't have options?
Instead of voicing those questions, Haley asked, "Why do you call her Olivia? In the hospital, I remember Katie calling her Livy."
He moved one arm, palm sliding along the side of the truck. "We don't talk about Katie much."
Why not? The words were on the tip of her tongue, but something zinged inside her. A warning, maybe?
His feet shifted, like he was uncomfortable. "Whatever your reason for doing this...helping Olivia... Just remember, she's a little girl who will still be here when you go back to the city."
He sounded like he thought Haley's presence was going to hurt the girl, but all she wanted was to help.
"If this is some kind of...I don't know...call back to Katie's memory—"
"It's not."
He shook his head, gripping the top of the truck bed. "I can't help remembering how you two were thick as thieves..."
Tag-along. His words doused ice water on her. She'd had a wonderful evening with Livy, cooking the first ice cream base and teasing Maddox...
And he still thought of her as Katie's tag-along, after all these years.
She didn't know what to say.
He seemed to understand her sudden uncertainty, because he went on. "Look, I'm just trying to protect my niece. I appreciate that you're trying to do something nice for her."
She waited for the but. And it came.
"But giving her that money...building up her dreams..."
"I'm not doing it for Katie. I'm doing it for Livy. We're partners."
Nearby, something rustled in the darkness against the side of the house. It moved, but she couldn't make out the form in the darkness. Whatever it was, it was big.
She thought Maddox was arguing with her, but her thundering heartbeat drowned out anything he might've said. The Thing padded closer, quiet in the darkness. Were those fangs, glimmering in the dim porch light?
She grabbed his arm, ducking between him and the truck, turning her shoulder away from the animal's hot breath against her side. Was it a Rottweiler? Or just a huge mutt?
"Maddox," she hissed. Her breath came in gasps, fear overpowering her sense of propriety and personal space.
He brought his other arm down, caging her in. "What's the matter?"
"P-please tell me that's a friend."
He looked down, over the side of his arm, then tilted his chin back to her, the light from the corner of the house shining behind him and leaving his face in shadow. "You're still afraid of dogs?"
"I'm n-not afraid. Terrified."
He snorted.
"Git on, Emmie," he said softly.
The huge black dog sat, tail swishing audibly over the gravel of the drive. Its lips parted in a panting, doggie grin. The dim porch light showed that it lifted one paw in a polite shake.
"Git on," Maddox said again, his voice laced with humor.
The dog closed its mouth with a huff of air, stood, and sauntered off, fading into the darkness.
And then the man turned his gaze back on her. She looked up at Maddox in the moonlight, and her stomach swooped low, the same way it had when he'd held her on prom night all those years ago.
She could see the dark stubble of his days' growth of beard. His eyes were unreadable in the darkness.
If she wanted to, she
could reach up and put her arms around his neck, stand on tiptoe...and claim the second kiss she'd been dreaming about for a dozen years.
But she wasn't seventeen anymore.
And he probably didn't think about her that way. They both had Olivia's best interests at heart.
And Haley wanted to protect her own heart, too.
His hands came to rest gently on her waist, but before he could push her away, Haley stepped out of the circle of his personal space. Her heart beat and pulsed in her throat, and it sounded a little like the taunt she always heard in her head. Tag-along.
"Thanks for supper. I had a fun time."
She thought he said me too, but she tucked herself in the cab of her truck and started the engine. She waved, smiling out the window into the dark so he wouldn't know how shaken the moment had left her.
She wasn't a little sheep any longer. She had her own friends back in Oklahoma City. She wasn't desperate for company, no matter what he thought.
She would do what she said. She would see him peripherally while helping Olivia with her ice cream business. She would care for her aunt and mind her own business.
And they could both pretend that the near-embrace never happened.
Maddox stood staring after Haley's taillights long after they'd disappeared down the dirt drive, hands fisted loosely at his sides.
What had he been thinking? He'd touched her. She'd been so close, and he'd wanted her closer—wanted to find out if her lips still tasted like the ice cream they'd shared.
But the moment he'd given in to the urge and reached for her, she'd backed away.
He knew better than to reach. Hadn't his past taught him anything?
He didn't have time for any kind of relationship and didn't need Haley nosing into his business.
She wanted him to give Olivia roots. How was he supposed to do that, when he could barely keep them afloat? He wasn't doing that good a job keeping Justin from sinking further into depression, and had a hard time keeping ahead of the medical bills.
He didn't know how to be a father to a little girl.
What did he have to give to Olivia? He was on the road or working dawn-to-dusk, just to make ends meet.
The expectations were too heavy. They had been ever since his teen years, when his mom had turned him into the man of the family. As if he could handle it, because no one else was there to do it. He'd just been a kid when his dad had died in a drunken stupor. He'd been a kid when they'd all expected him to become some kind of football star, and a kid when Katie had left him with a tiny bundle of pink. If love had been enough, he'd have been the best uncle in the world.
But what he'd learned was that his love and his desire to do the right thing weren't enough. He had to be better.
He was a mess, his thoughts churning with the burn in his gut, but no antacid would repair this mess. The last thing he needed was Haley around, tempting him to dream. If he had any brains at all, he'd tell Haley not to come to the house again, but...
She was good for Olivia. That was easy to see. She'd had all three of them, him, Olivia, and even Justin for a few minutes, laughing in the kitchen like a real family.
And Olivia had soaked it up like a parched field in a rainstorm.
He was afraid he had, too.
When was the last time they'd felt like a family, not just individuals living in the same house?
He'd promised himself never to end up like his dad, always stuck in the could-have-beens. Maddox was making a life for Olivia, doing what he could.
It would have to be enough.
But what if it wasn't?
Chapter 3
Three weeks later, Maddox turned down the dirt lane toward home, fresh off of another four-day-stint on the harvest crew. He'd gotten up in the middle of the night and driven all morning to make it here by lunchtime.
The more he'd thought about the things Haley had revealed about her own childhood that night after supper, the more he'd been determined to prove that he could be the father-figure Olivia needed. He could do better than he had been doing. And being here today was a part of that.
Olivia and Haley had planned some elaborate birthday celebration. He thought they might've invited the entire elementary school. They were calling it a business expense, planning to do something with all the ice cream they'd made over the last few weeks.
Maddox had never seen so much of the sweet treat in his life. Olivia had been furiously mixing up batches, trying out new flavors with her old personal-sized ice cream maker, and hand-packing quart after quart in cardboard containers.
She'd even appropriated a deep freezer from a neighbor who wasn't using it any more. She already had that sucker half-full.
On one of his at-home breaks, he'd sat down with Olivia and talked about the three books her school had assigned as suggested summer reading. He'd asked about her friends, expecting her to duck his question. Instead, she'd chatted with him for almost an hour. Opened up to him, and all it had taken was him asking.
Haley had been at the house two Saturdays in a row, according to Justin. Maddox had been out with the crew both times.
During those long rides on the combine, he'd imagined his brother spending time with Haley. Justin had been known for his charming ways on the rodeo circuit. Unfortunately, thinking about the two together made Maddox need to pop an antacid. And he knew why.
Haley was special. Maddox had known it when she was seventeen, and he knew it now.
Knowing he was going to see her again today had him antsy and uncomfortable. And he had no business thinking about her like he was. He was barely keeping the farm afloat. Barely avoiding the creditors calling about the overdue medical bills.
Where he'd given up on his dreams, Haley had a fancy degree and no doubt fancy friends in the city. She even cooked fancy.
Even if he did find the guts to pursue her, what would she want with a farmer like him?
She was too good for him. The smartest thing to do would be to forget about her.
But Justin had seemed more grounded after her visits. Less stuck inside his own head. Maddox couldn't help wondering what passed between them.
He turned into the drive to see five farm trucks already parked in a snaking line.
"What the—?" He guided his truck around the outside, half-driving in the ditch so he could get to the house.
He would have sworn Olivia had told him the party would begin in the afternoon.
He parked his truck on the side of the barn, since apparently they were going to need most of the yard for guests.
"Mad, you're here!" Ryan's voice rang out, quickly followed by Olivia's, "Uncle Maddox!"
He braced one hand on his truck and caught Olivia with the other arm when she launched at him. She rubbed her face against his chest. "You made it!"
"I promised, didn't I?"
When she moved back, squealing with excitement, her face was shining. He was stiff and exhausted from driving most of the night, but it was worth it.
When she ran off, he looked up to see Haley standing right there, her eyes showing her surprise.
"Didn't think I'd make it, huh?" he asked.
"I'm glad you did." She seemed sincere, and his heart thumped once hard beneath his breastbone.
She led him to a picnic table that hadn't been in the yard before, beneath a tree that would shade him from some of the hot June sun. "Where'd this come from?" he asked.
"Neighbors," she answered. "Borrowed them."
That's when he saw there were ten tables arranged in a horseshoe.
And the yard had been mowed. "Who mowed?"
"Your brother." She nodded toward the row of trucks, where not only was Justin outdoors, he was leaning on his crutch, talking to old man Simpson. The grocer had been a friend of their mom's and Maddox guessed he had delivered one of the picnic tables.
It was the first time Maddox had seen Justin willingly engage with someone outside their family circle since his fall.
Haley was stil
l talking. "He said, and I quote, 'I can drag along behind the push-mower just as well as I can drag behind my crutch.'"
He could imagine his brother saying that. Somehow, Haley had gotten him to mow the yard. He hated to think how, but the image of the two flirting with each other came unwelcome into his mind.
"I'm so glad you're here," Haley said, interrupting his thoughts. "I need your help. Have a seat."
In the next few minutes, Haley showed him how she wanted him to slice about thirty watermelons. It seemed like they were planning for a horde—he hoped Haley and Olivia weren't disappointed.
Haley tilted her head to the side, looking at him for a long moment. "You good?" Haley asked.
"Fine."
He didn't like the hot knot that had settled behind his sternum, thinking about her and Justin together. As he watched under the guise of cutting into one of the melons, she got some kind of magazine out of her aunt's truck. Haley marched up to his brother and slapped the book into his stomach.
His brother hugged her briefly around the shoulders, like he would've hugged Katie or their mom, and just kept on talking.
"They're just friends," Ryan said, voice low. Maddox hadn't heard him walk up.
He clapped a hand on Maddox's shoulder. "At first, I thought the same thing you were thinking, but she doesn't look at him the way she looks at you."
Maddox's stomach swooped at that thought. He'd been half in love with Haley when he'd known her as Katie's friend—and the woman she was now affected him just as powerfully.
Ryan had been checking on Justin and Olivia on the weekends Maddox had to be gone, so he must have known what he was talking about.
But it didn't make Maddox feel that much better.
Haley dashed by his table a little later and left a sampler plate of the ice cream. This had been their plan all along. Invite people for free ice cream.
He grabbed Olivia when she tried to skip by. After he'd complimented her on the ice cream, which was delicious, he asked. "How much is this costing?"
"Haley says you have to spend money to make money."
He just hoped they weren't spending too much.
Kissed by a Cowboy 1 & 2: Sweet Cowboy Romance (Redbud Trails) Page 4
