"She was a little younger than your Elijah," Mary went on. "And the social worker brought her to us and then—" She clapped her hands, making Haley jump. —"she just left. She just walked out and left me and Joe with this tiny infant."
Ashley smiled a bittersweet smile at the mention of her father, who'd passed away last year.
"That first year, I was scared of everything. Every little fever. Every time she cried, I asked myself, 'Was that a different cry? Is she in pain? What's wrong?'"
She reached out and patted Haley's shoulder. "That anxiety you're feeling is normal."
It was?
"I think every new parent is scared they're going to do the wrong thing. Feed the baby something they're allergic to. Ruin their sleeping habits. Drop them. There's a lot you've got to get right."
Beside her, Ash had gone pale. Her hand was pressed against her collarbone.
"But most parents have good instincts. Trust yourself.” Mary glanced at Ashley, then looked longer. “Honey, what's wrong?"
Ash had gone from pale to green.
"Are you okay?" Haley asked her friend.
Ash nodded slowly. Shook her head. "I'm terrified right now."
Haley laughed softly. "Why?"
"Because I'm pregnant."
Mary's eyes went wide, and then she started to smile. "Oh, honey."
Haley had regained enough equilibrium to feel joy for her best friend. "Ash!"
She moved out of the way as Mary hugged her daughter. When she moved back, she wiped a tear from her eye.
Haley took her turn giving Ash a hug.
"Don't… I haven't told Ryan yet. I'm just barely past my missed period, but I'd been feeling really nauseous in the mornings so I took a test..."
Ash did look freaked out, her eyes haunted.
It was Haley's turn to reassure her friend. "You'll be a great mom. Don't look at me as an example."
Mary had her hands clasped beneath her chin. "Ryan is going to be thrilled. That boy..."
Haley couldn't help but grin. Ryan could be a jokester sometimes, though he worked harder than anyone else she knew, except maybe Maddox.
But Ash wasn't smiling. "Keep it a secret for now, okay? I've got to find the right way to tell him."
The other book club ladies chose that moment to converge on them, and they lost the chance for further discussion.
But as Haley saw the women off and Elijah started kicking up a fuss upstairs, she slumped against the front door.
Was this emotional exhaustion normal? Was she really normal?
Because she still felt like a failure.
Chapter 3
It was a few minutes before dawn the next morning, and Maddox was folding laundry in the living room when Haley peered through the kitchen doorway.
"Hey," he greeted her softly. He flipped up the kitchen towel with a quick snap of his wrist and folded it into fourths, then added it to a growing pile on the end table next to the couch.
She padded into the room, hair adorably tousled and wearing one of his old T-shirts over a pair of sweatpants.
He folded her into his arms, burying his nose in her hair, breathing her in. She smelled like her honey-flavored shampoo and woman, with a hint of baby wipes.
"I heard noise down here. Thought it might be Livy again. What're you doing?" she asked into his shoulder, her words hot against his skin.
"Helping."
Until yesterday, he hadn't realized how selfish he'd been with his time. How hard was it to throw in an extra load of laundry while he watched TV before bed? Easy. Get up fifteen minutes early and fold it? He was used to early mornings.
He hated himself a little for not noticing how completely overwhelmed his wife had been.
He could care less if he had to scrub his cereal bowl by hand before he used it, or if he had to pull a clean T-shirt out of the dryer to wear for the day.
But if those things bothered Haley, he was going to see to it that they were fixed. Even if that meant forgoing an hour of sleep every day.
He wanted her to be happy. For a while, before Elijah, he'd thought they'd had it made.
He'd gotten complacent.
Stupid.
But with Haley nestled in his arms, where she belonged, maybe he could fix it.
"I don't want you to have to do my chores," she mumbled.
He ducked his head to kiss her temple, her cheek, the corner of her mouth. He let his nose run along the line of her jaw. "I don't mind," his whispered against her skin.
Her hands rested at his waist. Squeezed when he bent his head to kiss the place where his T-shirt met her neck. "Well, I do." Her voice emerged breathless, and he felt a surge of manly pride that he'd made her react.
He'd missed this closeness with her since the baby's arrival.
He lifted his head to kiss her mouth, but she blocked him by turning her head to the side. "I'm serious. I don't want you to take on more work around here. It's not fair to you."
He used one finger at her chin to turn her head to him. He slanted his lips across hers, the heat of her mouth like coming home. Still. Even after three years. He let his tongue stroke the bow of her upper lip, but she broke away with a gasp just when things were getting good.
Her hands had come up to clutch his shoulders, and she gave a little push and pulled completely away from him. "Quit trying to distract me."
He hadn't been, not really. But got another surge of pride that he was able to do so.
"You work hard enough." He could tell by the stubborn set of her lips that they were going to talk about this, whether he wanted to or not.
She turned away to pick up something out of the shrinking pile of clean laundry on the couch.
He came up behind her, set one hand on her hip. Brushed a couple wayward strands of hair behind her ear. "Honey, there's no reason for you to keep struggling when I can help."
From the side, he saw the flare of her nostrils, knew she had some ready comeback for that. He rushed on.
"There are no your chores or my chores around here. Who do you think did the dishes before we got married?"
"Justin." Her sassy mention of his brother made him smile. She snapped a tiny shirt—Elijah's—in the air before folding it neatly.
"I'm gonna be helping more around here. And Livy should be helping more, too."
She pulled a face.
He chuckled. "She might disagree at first. But you need to rest more, so between the two of us, we'll pick up some of the slack."
"I'm fine."
After the breakdown she'd had yesterday, he wanted to disagree. She wasn't fine. Things around here needed to change.
But she had stopped arguing about the chores, and maybe that was enough for now. He still had Cancun up his sleeve.
He wanted to go back to the hot kiss they'd just shared.
She matched and folded a tiny pair of socks, then tossed them into a pile in the corner of the couch. When she straightened, he let both hands rest on her shoulders. His thumbs swept a line up her neck, and she leaned back against him.
He brushed a kiss against her jaw, pressed his cheek to hers as his arms came around her more fully.
She was turning her head to meet his kiss as his hands moved from her hips to rest on her belly.
Before he could say let's go upstairs, she jumped away, breaking his hold on her.
"Haley—"
She was heading toward the kitchen, but judging by her rapid stride, he didn't think she was inviting him to follow.
"I thought I heard the baby." She threw the words over her shoulder, but she didn't meet his gaze.
And she left him standing there, befuddled and hot under the collar. He would have sworn she'd been responding to his caresses. That she'd wanted the closeness, the intimacy, they hadn't shared in way too long.
Even if Elijah had woken up crying, so what? The baby could wait, couldn't he?
Maybe a mom didn't think so.
But there was a part of him that recognized that
her words as she'd run away were an excuse.
They really needed Cancun.
Chapter 4
Haley was watching the clock late Monday afternoon.
Maddox should've been home by now. The summer school dismissal bell would've rung at three-thirty. She knew he liked to clean up and get his next day's lesson plan in order. Today he'd taken Livy with him to give Haley a break from the teen's snark. No doubt she'd whined the entire afternoon, stuck in her dad's classroom with a book.
Haley'd been surprised and disappointed when Maddox had taken on the summer class without telling her. She'd wanted the long summer days to spend together as a family. They'd still have some. There was a month's break between the summer class and fall semester. Some, but not enough.
Where were they? It was almost six-thirty now, and the dinner she'd actually cared about cooking was getting cold.
It was meant to be an apology.
She'd known exactly where things were heading Saturday morning. She'd been doing her best to ignore the fact that she had bedhead and morning breath and hadn't shaved her legs in over a week. And then he'd put his hands on her stomach.
Her flabby, post-childbirth, still-hanging-onto-twenty-pounds stomach.
And whatever sparks she'd been feeling had been doused with ice-cold water.
She felt bad about running away, but everything combined had killed the mood. Especially her body.
She knew she needed to hit the gym. Or go jogging. Or something.
But she was just so tired. All the time. And the minutes she had to herself in between feeding, diapering, and caring for the baby were few and far between.
But she also hated that she'd disappointed her husband.
On Saturday, she'd spent a few hours rushing through a deep clean of the house.
Today, it was a deep clean of herself.
Instead of using the dry shampoo she used more often than not, she'd taken a real shower. Shaved her legs. Put on perfume and makeup. Curled her hair.
And beneath the floor-length maxi-dress, she'd squeezed into the cutest panties and bra she could fit into.
She was trying to ignore the fact that squeezing into them had created bulges that hadn't been there pre-pregnancy.
It was too late to do anything about her body, at least for today. Once Livy and the baby had gone to bed, she and Maddox could too. And as long as the light was out, she'd try to overcome the horrible self-consciousness she felt.
Just one problem.
Her husband hadn't shown up to eat the steak dinner that was now going cold.
And then, finally, she caught sight of a plume of dust that heralded a vehicle coming up the driveway.
She glanced at Elijah, dozing off in his swing tucked in beside the table in the breakfast nook.
"Here we go," she breathed.
She put on the most welcoming smile she could and leaned one shoulder against the backdoor jamb, striking what she hoped was a casual pose.
Livy was coming up fast, but Haley looked past her to Maddox. He hadn't looked her way yet, had rounded the back of the truck to pull something out of the truck bed.
"Guess what?" Livy called out before her boots hit the porch steps. "Dad got me a puppy!"
The words didn't register at first.
And when they did, when Haley glanced up and saw the furry bundle clutched against Livy's chest, the bottom dropped out of her stomach.
Maddox did what?
Livy bounded up the steps and turned so that Haley got face-to-furry nose with the black and white furball in her arms.
"Isn't she so cute?"
Haley didn't know whether she murmured assent or just grunted. Livy didn't seem to need her acknowledgement, because she breezed right into the house.
Maddox was coming up the porch steps now. And if his smile was a little tired, he deserved it, didn't he? He was the one who'd gotten up early for the laundry's sake.
"You look nice," he said.
His arms were full of a dog bed and other puppy detritus. Squeaky toys.
Just perfect for waking up a sleeping baby.
What was she supposed to do with a puppy?
Every nice thought she'd had about Maddox today was erased in a rush of anger.
She turned on her heel and let the screen door slam in his face.
A puppy? What was he thinking? Like she needed any more work to do around here.
It was as if he'd already forgotten his promises from the other morning.
She was trembling with anger as she stalked back to the table, where the cooling food was looking more and more like canned dog food.
But she took a breath. Maybe this was fixable. He could just take it back. If she went all banshee on him, he might have a knee jerk reaction, and she'd end up with the dog anyway.
"Food's getting cold," she called out, keeping her voice as even as she could manage.
"Just a minute." Maddox was rustling around in the laundry room. Livy was holding the puppy up for Elijah to see—even though the baby was sleeping—when he emerged with an empty laundry tub and a worn towel.
"We can trap her in here while we eat, then we'll get everything settled after dinner."
"Wash your hands, please," Haley tacked on.
Livy gave only a minor eye roll before she complied. She was bubbly and chatty—mostly with the puppy—as she got her settled in his basket and took her seat at the table.
"This looks great," Maddox said as he sat in the chair across the table.
She hummed noncommittally. The steaks and potatoes had tasted great an hour ago, when she'd expected him. Her smile felt brittle enough to fall off her face.
"How was your afternoon at the school?" she asked Livy.
She expected to hear how boring it had been, that Maddox had made her sit and read or doodle or whatever, but instead Livy practically bounced in her chair.
"I met the new Vice Principal."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah. This is her first VP job, and when Mrs. Heller"—the junior high principal—"asked Dad to show her around, I got to be in charge of his whole class!"
Leaving a future ninth grader to supervise a bunch of her peers sounded like a recipe for trouble, but Maddox seemed unconcerned as he cut into his steak.
Livy had called him Dad. It went to show just how much her attitude had changed—at least toward him. Two days ago, it had been Uncle Maddox.
"And she's really pretty and I got to help her unpack some of her boxes in her new office and she's traveled all over the world, even Paris!"
Livy's chatter had gone over Haley's head. Except for the really pretty part. She looked up from her food.
"She's not Mrs. Heller's age?"
Mrs. Heller was in her mid-fifties with gray hair sprayed and styled into a helmet around her head. She was tall and statuesque and strict and had grandkids in elementary school.
Maddox was studiously slathering butter on his potato. It was Livy who answered.
"No, she's cool. She's like your age, except she's not married."
So the new vice principal was young, single, and really pretty?
And Haley's husband was one of two men who worked at the junior high—the other one was a janitor her dad's age.
"And after class was dismissed me and Dad helped her lug this really heavy shelf from her car into her office."
Maddox pointed his roll at Livy. "It wasn't that heavy."
She giggled.
Showing someone around was one thing. But moving furniture went a little above the call of duty, didn't it?
Haley knew the jealousy spreading through her with its insidious tentacles probably wasn't entirely rational, but... Maddox was a man. A handsome man with a soft heart and that devastating smile.
And all she could think about was how she'd blown him off.
Maddox had thought Haley might have to warm up to the idea of a new dog in the house, but he hadn't expected the level of fury she was unleashing on the innocent frying p
an she was scrubbing in the sink.
"Why don't you let me clean up?" he asked.
He edged in close behind her and cupped her shoulders in his hands.
She shrugged him off. "Oh, I think you've done enough today."
Ouch. Yeah, she was steamed.
Good thing he'd sent Livy and the puppy outside for a walk before bed. He figured Livy would detour to the barn, which gave him at least a half hour to grovel his way back into Haley's good graces.
He leaned against the counter at her side, facing her.
She stared at the sudsy pan, still scrubbing it angrily with her sponge.
"I'm sorry I didn't call and ask what you thought about the puppy," he said.
He could only hope his end-of-summer surprise would receive a better reception.
"I thought we agreed Livy needed to be punished," she said through gritted teeth. "You rewarded her." She shook her head, blowing a gust of air. Either she was trying to get some wayward strands of hair out of her eyes, or she was so fired up she couldn't even find words to blast him with.
Or both.
"It's not a reward."
She sent him an oh, yeah? glare at that.
"A kid needs a dog around. It makes for a happy childhood."
Emmie, their huge black farm dog, had died almost a year ago, and he'd been feeling the absence for a while. Livy had brought up getting a puppy several times over the last couple of months. And when Ryan had heard about this new litter of Border Collies and called Maddox, it had seemed like the perfect time.
"And who do you think is going to take care of this puppy? What about training? What if he bites Elijah?"
He wasn't that worried about it. In his experience, dogs—even puppies—had a sixth sense when it came to babies. Didn't mean he wasn't going to watch the puppy like a hawk when Elijah was on the floor, but he wasn't worried about it.
"Livy will take care of the puppy. She's old enough."
Haley parked her sudsy hands on her hips. The skeptical attitude shouldn't have been sexy, but it was. Or maybe he'd just been without her for too long.
"I promise, everything will work out." He set his hands over hers and nudged her close enough that their knees bumped.
She didn't lose the attitude.
Kissed by a Cowboy 1 & 2: Sweet Cowboy Romance (Redbud Trails) Page 11
