by Mary Grand
‘Can we talk?’ he asked.
Not wanting anyone to overhear their conversation, Juliet ushered him into the workshop.
Gabriel continued. ‘I wanted to apologise about Saturday, I was annoyed, but I shouldn’t have left you in Southampton. I should have understood how concerned you were about Rosalind.’
She found it hard to speak to him, all she could think of was him and Mira.
‘You’re right, I was worried about her, but it was good I stayed on my own. We got some things sorted out. All is good between us now.’
‘I’m glad.’ He frowned. ‘By the way, could you have a word with your mum? She’s been talking to Maddie and putting pressure on her to form some kind of relationship with Rosalind, I don’t think it can be forced, you know.’
Juliet blinked. ‘It doesn’t sound the kind of thing my mum would do, but I’ll speak to her. Is that all, or was there anything else?’
He looked surprised. ‘Have I said something wrong?’
‘It’s not your words that have upset me.’
‘Then what is it?’
The words fell out before she could stop them. ‘I saw you with Mira, late Saturday night.’
He blinked quickly. ‘You were there? What the hell were you doing out there at that time of night?’
‘I heard Mira get out of bed and followed her.’
‘Good God, Juliet, what has got into you?’
‘You haven’t answered my question.’
‘And I’m not going to. Talk to Mira if you want to know the truth.’
He stormed off and she saw him talk to Maddie, who frowned and then looked over at her accusingly.
Juliet felt close to tears. Was she really going mad? This wasn’t her – snooping around, following people, but what else was she to do if no one would talk to her? And, in any case, her instincts had proved her right.
She couldn’t face leaving the workshop and so she backed away from the door, stood with her eyes closed and tried to figure out what she was going to do next. Suddenly it was as if she was back down the beach that night, one minute alone, the next aware of someone behind her. It was the same breath, the same smell.
She started to shake, frightened to move.
‘You’ve been following me, haven’t you, and talking to Jean about me,’ a voice hissed behind her.
Juliet swung around and saw Anwen.
‘It was you… it was you who pushed me, wasn’t it?’ Her voice shook as she spoke.
Anwen laughed. ‘You guessed.’
‘The frankincense. I’d forgotten, Mum said Cassie gave it you for your hands.’
‘It’s good, but its stinks, doesn’t it?’ She looked more closely at Juliet. ‘I don’t get you. What motivates you? You are prepared to alienate your family, everyone closest to you. What’s it all about?’
‘I suppose it started with Dad in the hospital, and then Rhys died and all I seemed to have were unanswered questions. I can’t live like that. I need to know the truth.’
Anwen shrugged. ‘You’re a fool to be obsessed with the truth. No one cares about that any more. We all tell the truth if it suits, lie if it doesn’t. That’s all there is to it.’ She sounded harsh, bitter, her eyes dull with the hurt of a life foreign to Juliet.
‘I couldn’t live believing that,’ she replied and then said more gently, ‘Your husband looked very unwell.’
‘He died last night.’ Anwen sighed. ‘I know people like Rhys thought he was a waste of space, but he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I loved him, he’s the only person who ever understood me.’
‘I’m so sorry, Anwen.’
‘Thank you. I thought I’d tell you; I’m leaving the island.’
‘Leaving? But what about the restaurant?’
‘I’ve talked to Cassie; I’m pulling out. I’ve been thinking about it, and the island isn’t the right place for me. It’s too small. I loved it all when I first came and of course I needed to see Euan. But I’ve had enough of it now. I need a city; everyone here is watching you all the time. They seem so nice and pleasant, but you never know what they really think, do you.’
Juliet blinked. ‘When are you leaving?’
‘As soon as I can. I have a few jobs to do first.’ Anwen stepped closer to her, her voice quieter but hard, ‘Now, for the rest of my time here, I expect you to keep your nose out of my business. Jean told me about your conversation, all those questions about what I was doing the night Rhys died, well, you know now I was with Euan, that’s it, no more.’ Anwen was prodding her, her finger digging in the flesh of her chest.
Juliet felt a rage inside her. How dare this woman creep up on her, hurt her and now threaten her like this? She grabbed at Anwen’s hand, pushed her away. ‘I won’t be bullied by you. I know you went to Euan, but I also know you weren’t with him all night. I don’t know how you kept that from the police, but I know it’s true. So, where were you? The fact you are threatening me makes me realise that you are desperate – what are you hiding, Anwen?’
Anwen glared at her. ‘You have no idea what you are messing with here. You are so innocent, there is a world out there you know nothing about. It’s dark, violent and you have no idea how ugly desperate people can get. Watch your back. You think you are some saint on a crusade? Remember what happened to Rhys – saints rarely have a happy ending.’
Anwen turned and left the workshop. Juliet heard a man speak to her, looked out and saw Gabriel holding Anwen’s arm, apologising for bumping into her.
Juliet shut the door of the workshop, went to the chair and breathed deeply, her whole body shaking. Good God, what had just happened? This was a family funeral and yet she’d had a row with Gabriel and had been threatened by Anwen. She closed her eyes, took deep breaths; she’d never understood that fear was so tangible, she could smell it in the air, feel it jabbing at her flesh.
Slowly she opened her eyes, looked far into the distance. The sea was greyer today, the colour of the sky, but in a way, this felt more like her sea than the blue sparkling sea of the summer. That was the sea of holidaymakers. The grey, cold sea remained when they left, and it was then she could walk alone along the beach, it was then she could hear the sea talk to her. Today it comforted her, its dullness, sameness, a wonderful contrast to the chaos around her.
She lowered her gaze to the end of the garden and saw Mira with Lola on a garden seat. She knew then she couldn’t put this off any longer, she needed to talk to Mira.
30
Juliet walked down to Mira. She looked tired but content. Lola had jumped up next to her and Mira was stroking her silky ears.
‘How did you find the day?’ Juliet asked, sitting down.
‘It went well, didn’t it? The archdeacon led the service well. I think it was good for the villagers to have a chance to say goodbye to Rhys. It’s easy to forget how many people are affected by his death. It was such a shock for some of his more vulnerable parishioners, they saw him as the strong one, the person they could always turn to.’
‘Yes, I suppose it did.’ Juliet took a breath. ‘Gabriel and Maddie came then.’
‘Yes, Maddie attended church regularly. She was brought up Catholic, but she said she was happy enough to come to our church. She liked Rhys and really appreciated the fact he always supported her around the anniversary of Harry’s death.’
‘And Gabriel? What did he think of Rhys?’
Mira shrugged. ‘He wasn’t a churchgoer, so he didn’t know him well.’
‘But he knew what you told him about Rhys?’
Mira pulled her head back. ‘Well, yes I suppose. What are you getting at, Juliet?’
Juliet had no option but to blurt it out. ‘I saw you and Gabriel the other night.’
‘Me and Gabriel. Where?’
‘Down in the car park.’
‘How on earth did you see us, it was about two in the morning?’
‘I know, I saw you get out of bed, so I followed you.’
‘Well, why didn’t you just ask
me?’
‘Would you have told me the truth?’
‘Of course, you are one of the few people I would have told.’
Juliet waited, steadied herself to hear about Mira’s feelings for Gabriel.
‘How long has it been going on then?’
Mira frowned. ‘Hang on, do you think we are together?’
‘He had his arms around you. You were meeting secretly.’
‘Oh gosh, I suppose it must have looked like that to you. I’m sorry, it’s nothing like that.’ Mira’s face suddenly changed, she screwed up her eyes. ‘That’s an awful thing to think Juliet, what has happened to you? First you accuse me of murdering my husband, now of having an affair with Gabriel. Who do you think I am?’
‘But, Mira, you talked so much about guilt. I thought maybe something had happened with Gabriel when you were up there for the retreat.’
With her chin on her chest, Mira looked sideways at Juliet. ‘I made a terrible mistake…
There was a man who came on the retreat. He was single, and we just clicked straight away. He is Deaf as well, he signed, it was so easy…’
‘And things at home with Rhys were hard?’
Mira’s eyes met hers. ‘They were. I know it’s no excuse, but it wasn’t until I met this man, found myself laughing, having fun, that I realised how much I’d missed it, you know, just relaxing, not taking everything so seriously. We drank wine, walked on the beach, had barbeques in the evenings. It was like being on a wonderful holiday away from my life.’
‘How far did the relationship go?’
‘We didn’t sleep together, if that’s what you’re asking. He came to see me the night before Rhys died in the hit-and-run. We met on the beach, he wanted me to go and live with him. I’d had time to think and knew it wasn’t something I wanted. I was also pretty sure I was pregnant. I told him not to contact me again.’
Juliet thought of the bruises. ‘Did he hit you?’
‘No, no one hit me, he went a bit crazy, told me he loved me and if I didn’t go with him, he would walk into the sea and never come back. I thought he was bluffing, but then he went in, he kept walking and so in the end I ended up running in after him, shouting at him. He turned around, I think he was coming back and then I fell, there was this flipping huge rock below the surface and I bashed my arm. He helped me out in the end, apologised. I think he felt a bit stupid, but I was pretty cold and cross. He left soon after, and I made my way home.’
‘Good grief, he left you like that? He could have at least seen you home.’
‘I knew Rhys was in, it was better I went on my own. Fortunately, I didn’t meet anyone on the way.’
‘So, what did Rhys say?’
‘It was a nightmare. He took one look at me and asked me where I’d been. I told him I’d seen a friend and fallen in the sea. Bit stupid really and, of course, he got really angry, that’s when he threw the wedding photo. He said he knew I’d been seeing someone else; he knew, he said, because I’d been looking so happy.’
Juliet’s eyes widened. ‘He said that?’
‘Yes, and I told him I had made friends with someone on the retreat, I’d not slept with them, but it had made a nice change to have fun. I’m afraid I wasn’t very apologetic. He asked me what the name of this man was, and where he lived, and I said it was none of his business. I also told him if he didn’t start treating me better, I would leave him. I thought I might be pregnant and the last thing I wanted was to bring up my baby in a miserable marriage.’
‘And what did Rhys say?’
‘He went on about marriage vows and things, but he calmed down, said we needed to talk again. But we never had the chance the next day and then it was the meal. I really would have liked to have sorted things out with him; he wasn’t a bad man, I loved him. I should have told him ages ago how unhappy I was.’
‘But he should have realised, he should have taken better care of you. So, tell me, how does Gabriel fit into all this?’
‘He has been a really good friend. I got to know him a bit on this retreat. He saw what was happening and was very understanding; I could talk to him. He knew about this man coming down to see me again, and even offered to be there. I told him about being pregnant, and how frightened I was. He was so understanding.’
‘If he was just a friend, why all the secret meetings?’
‘You know how life works in a village. If we met during the day, someone would see and then the rumours would start. “I saw Mira on her own on the beach chatting to Gabriel. Do you think there’s anything between them? I mean Rhys has only just died; it doesn’t seem right, does it?”’
Juliet gave a flicker of a smile. ‘Okay, yes, I can see how it would be difficult.’
‘I needed to talk to someone Juliet, I was going mad.’
* * *
‘Why didn’t you talk to me? You could have told me about this man from the retreat, I wouldn’t have judged you, you know that.’
‘I didn’t want to burden you with all that. And, anyway, with everything our family has been through, it was easier to talk to an outsider, it helped me clear my head.’
‘So, have you decided what to do next? Will you contact this man from the retreat?’
‘Oh no, that was just a summer fling, that’s finished.’
‘Well, you’re not on your own, you know. Promise me you will let me help you now.’
Mira smiled, signed, ‘Thank you,’ and then she smiled again. ‘Everything has been so awful, I’ve not had any of the excitement of being pregnant, but I am determined to now that I know things are all right with the scan.’
Juliet gave her a big hug. ‘I agree, it’s wonderful news and you are going to be a fantastic mother.’
‘And what about you and Gabriel?’ asked Mira. ‘Don’t fall out over this, will you?’
‘We’ve a few things to sort out, let’s just see how this goes.’
Seeing everyone from the wake had left, Juliet went back inside to her room.
She was incredibly relieved to have cleared things up with Mira and know that nothing had been going on between her and Gabriel. Maybe recent events had been making her paranoid, but she was just glad to be proved wrong. It did make her understand how unhappy Mira must have been, and she felt guilty she’d completely missed that. But she didn’t think now that Mira had been so desperate as to have wanted to kill Rhys.
At that moment, her mother came in.
‘Could you do me a favour? The people who left their car at Dad’s garage have contacted me; they are not going to be back for a while yet, they are extending their stay. I thought I’d drop their keys through the letter box so they can get it when they need. I won’t have to think about it then. Could you go up to the garage and pick up their keys please, maybe drive the car out the front for them to collect when they want. I know they don’t want it sat outside their house, don’t want to attract burglars, it’ll be safe enough up there though.’
‘Of course, I could do with a walk. By the way, Gabriel seemed a bit worried about Maddie, about her feeling pressurised into seeing Rosalind.’
Her mother let out an exasperated sigh. ‘For goodness’ sake. I don’t understand that woman. I only talked to her at the funeral. I think Mira being pregnant made me feel a bit guilty about all the years Maddie has had to be such a distant relation. Anyway, I asked her how she wanted to play things now, and whether she would like some kind of family get-together or something.’
‘And what did she say?’
‘I was very surprised. She told me Gabriel had told her about Cassie telling Rosalind, but she didn’t want anything to change. She asked me to tell Rosalind that they could carry on as they had done before.’
‘Goodness, I know Gabriel said he thought she’d want to stand back a bit, I didn’t realise she’d not want anything to change.’
‘I think she was just overwhelmed with it all. Of course, there is the vineyard’s annual harvest barbecue on Sunday and I wanted to know what Mad
die expected of Rosalind at that.’
‘Gosh, it’s on Sunday. I’d not realised. What will we do, are we expected to go?’
Maddie made it very clear we were all invited, but she said nothing had to be any different. She expects Rosalind to come, and, in her words, there is no reason they shouldn’t be perfectly friendly to each other.’
‘How weird.’
‘Maybe it’s just all too much to take in. Anyway, I will have to have a chat with Rosalind about it all, I don’t know what her expectation is.’ Her mother sighed. ‘Life is very complicated lately isn’t it.’
‘It is. Have you talked to Rosalind any more about this man over in Southampton?’
‘There has not been much chance, and she had a long chat with Cassie…’ She paused.
‘I suppose it’s difficult knowing how to approach some things.’
Her mother didn’t answer but Juliet could feel her holding things in.
‘Your relationship with Rosalind is bound to change now,’ prompted Juliet.
Her mother let out a long breath. ‘Exactly. All along I’d been thinking how hard it was going to be for Cassie and Rosalind when everything came out but, and I know I have no right to say this, but, well, I feel like I’ve lost Rosalind in some ways. Her and Cassie are suddenly so close, and I am left outside of it all. When Rosalind told us about this man, I realised a few weeks ago I’d have been able to speak, well, as her mum. Now, I daren’t be angry, or say how upset I am, and I am you know. To think of my daughter, well my Rosalind, taking up with a married man, letting him buy her things… How could she? And his poor wife and children, it’s awful. I don’t know what your father would have said.’
Juliet saw the grief and turmoil on her mother’s face. ‘You are bound to have mixed feelings about all sorts of things, but you will have to step back for a bit. As for Rosalind and this man, well, it was a horrible mess. She did love him, and he lied to her, made all kinds of promises.’
‘Oh, I know, I’m not completely heartless, I just feel I can’t speak about anything.’
‘Give it time Mum, things will settle down.’ Juliet gave her mother a hug and said, ‘Try not to worry. Now, how about I pop to the garage, at least we can sort the car out.’
