by Lexi Ward
His attempt for nonchalance was not working.
“Great.” I put the most genuine smile I could force on my face. “Thanks for asking.” My only exits were talking to Sal or standing there waiting for him to leave.
“Well excuse me,” I said, deciding grabby Sal was worth the torture today.
My feet were no longer moving. His hand was holding my wrist…but why?
“You really want to get away from me that bad?” he asked.
I arched my eyebrow feigning confusion.
He lowered his voice, “I remember how grabby Sal used to be, and I doubt things have changed. So unless you lost a bet, you’re doing your best to avoid me.”
“Is it working?” I asked weakly. I knew I wasn’t getting out of this one.
“No. You forget how small this town is? All I had to do was ask around. I found out where you worked in a day.”
I inwardly cringed, if he could find out where I worked, it was only a matter of time before he found out the rest: where I lived, whom I lived with, and my secrets. The only possible solution was to play it cool and act like, I could care less. Reverse psychology, right?
“Nope, just, thought you’d appreciate a little space. I saw you earlier being corralled like a brand new pony.”
He chuckled. He was a cowboy at heart.
“I didn’t know whether to ask for your autograph or snap a picture.”
“So you chose to go the other direction?”
Busted. I shrugged. “I had to work.”
He nodded. “Ok. Well now you are working and talking.”
I nodded again. His hands weren’t on me, but they reached for me. It seemed like he wanted me to lean forward so he could grab them. Why was he acting like he was interested? He could have any girl in the world. In fact, he had already had me.
He reached forward to push a blond strand from my face. “So what’s been going on with you?”
I could only shudder under his touch. How could such a warm finger send shivers down my spine?
“N- n-nothing,” I stuttered.
He chuckled lowly, the baritone doing strange things to my core. “You’ve had to have done something these past four years. Tell me something.”
“Oh. Right. Um. Well. The music thing didn’t really work out, and I missed home, so I came back.”
“Does that mean you missed me?” he said sounding dangerously close to flirting.
He had to be out of his mind if he thought I was falling for that bait. I learned a long time ago to stay far away from Liam, and here he was trying to test my resolve. I’ve heard about him anyways. The media hasn’t exactly been shy about his various flings. This was a habitual flinger, aka, commitaphobe.
I could remember the month before graduation. He was so kind. He touched me like he loved me. He held me like he loved me. He looked at me like I was the only girl in the world and then he told me he had to go. He told me football was the most important thing in his life and that if we were meant to be, he had to let me go. Some bullshit about letting something go and if it comes back that’s how you know. He twisted the dagger in my heart by saying we could be friends. As if any woman could be just friends with Liam. And stupid, young, naïve me, said ok. I actually went along with it.
Flo rung the bell, and it shrilled loudly. It reminded me of what I must not do.
“Order up!”
“That’s you,” I said standing to grab the plastic bag heavy with calorie clogging food.
“Yea,” he said remorsefully. It almost sounded like he didn’t want to go. Almost. Too bad, he had to go.
There was a time when I thought Liam was capable of love. Not anymore. Fame changes the things we love.
CHAPTER SIX
I can’t believe it. How can she be even more beautiful than the first time I saw her? Time had been good to Maddie. She had curves, her hair was longer, thicker and she still smelled like a wild flower meadow. After all these years, she either still used the same shampoo, or I was imagining it. She was everything I remembered and everything I didn’t. Her eyes weren’t as bright, but the blue was still a color I could not name. Her face held worry lines, and her smile was no longer a breath of fresh air bestowed on everyone. She seemed hesitant and skittish. I didn’t like it. I hated it. What could have made her so uneasy in my presence? I wondered if she was happy and if I could make her happier. I wonder if it’s too late and how I would convince her to give me another try if she didn’t even want to talk to me, let alone be in my presence.
No matter, I wasn’t giving up. Maddie didn’t know just how much I found out. I asked around and got her place of work and when she got off. She couldn’t get away from me that easy. I could barely entertain myself for the remaining hours of her shift. After eating lunch, I only had to wait three hours, but it felt too much like waiting in the locker room before a big game. Everything in me wanted to just get out there and play.
She exited the diner, looking tired but relieved. She stood a moment, turning her face to the sun. She wore a look of ecstasy as she rubbed her scalp to relieve some stress. I knew when she finally noticed me waiting for her. She froze like a deer in headlights, and I could tell she quickly weighed her options. She had nowhere to go.
“Hey Maddie,” I say, trying to gauge if I should approach her.
“Hi, Liam.”
She hadn’t taken a step in any direction. Would she stay or run? I wanted her to take a step towards me. I needed a sign, just one, to tell me she was interesting.
“Where you headed?” I asked, shuffling my feet and putting my hands in my pocket. “Want to join me for some coffee? There’s a cute little boutique down the street. I never saw it before, must be new.”
“Um, yeah,” she said, agreeing that it was new or agreeing to go, I couldn’t tell. “It is new.” Damn, it was the first one. “Thanks for the offer but I really have to go.”
She was really shooting me down. Maybe I should just let her go. Why torture myself?
“Ok,” I said nodding. She still hadn’t moved.
“Well at least, let me walk you to your car.”
She looked nervous and anxious. “Um. Ok.” She said before turning and walking out of the parking lot. I followed her confused and wondered where this walk would lead us. We walked for about five silent minutes for I realized we were walking in the direction of the one and only bus stop in our town.
“Wait. Mads, do you have a car?”
She kept walking instead of answering my question.
“Maddie?”
No response. Ok. Fine. I grabbed her arm, and she snatched it back like she couldn’t bear the thought of us touching.
“Will you just answer me?”
This woman was infuriating. I was practically walking on pins and needles just to be next her.
“No. I don’t.” She wouldn’t even look at me. She faced the stop while I faced her back, trying to understand why she didn’t say anything.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
She shrugged.
“Maddie, you know I would have given you a ride.”
She shrugged again and began walking towards the stop. “I don’t need one. Thanks.”
I didn’t want to touch her again, but I had to. I didn’t know when I would be able to again. I held her shoulders softly and turn her to look into my eyes. “I am not going to let my friend take the bus when I have a perfectly nice car.”
She looks like she’s going to say no again, so I leaned in closely.
“Just say yes.” Her eyes remained firmed, but I wasn’t above begging. “Please?”
She sighed heavily. “Ok.”
I didn’t want to see if she would change her mind. I took her hand we walked back to the diner.
“Nice truck,” she said as I held open her door.
“Thanks,” I smirked. It was more than a truck. It was a customized F-150 Supercrew, the best truck there was to have. But she didn’t need to know that. Last I remembered, Mad
die didn’t care about cars.
I started the ignition, and we sat there a few awkward moments before I said, “So you have to tell me where to go.”
“Right,” she said staring out of the window.
Finally, she started giving directions. We left the center of Small Town and descended into the poorer areas.
“So you were a little vague at the diner. I understand if you don’t want to talk. I know you just got off work and all but I really just wanted to know what happened to you.” I glanced to the right to see if she was listening but I couldn’t tell.
“I mean, everybody knows what the last four years of my life looked like. It was obvious and mostly broadcast but you…you’re a mystery. Is that by choice or are you just averse to talking to me?”
She sighed, “It’s not you.”
I smiled against my better judgment. “Ok cool, so tell me what happened to you Ms. Music Prodigy. I was expecting to see you somewhere on TV too.”
She remained silent, and I leaned to nudge her shoulder.
“You going to make me beg again?”
My jovial question was not met with friendly jest, she continued to direct me and stilled as I park in front of a tattered apartment complex.
“Look.” She turned to look at me while clutching her purse. “I never made it to the music conservatory. I never made it to college. I’ve been here for the past four years. Thanks for the ride. Bye.”
She said it all in one breath, rushing and embarrassed, before slamming the door and running up the stairs to her apartment.
CHAPTER SEVEN
“Hey,” I say, fidgeting at the door.
“Ah!” she screamed pulling me into the room. “What a surprise.”
I can’t believe I was here. The only reason I was here was to confirm I would not be attending the dress rehearsal.
“Umm, look, I can’t stay I just...”
“No, you must sit. I’ll be right back,” she said, leaving me standing alone in the foyer. After an awkward five minutes, I sat down.
What else could I do?
She came from the direction of the kitchen with a few sandwiches on a plate.
“Here you go. You must be famished. I know am” she said leaning back to cross her legs. “Now, how are you? I must say it’s so great to see you. I missed you so much when I was in LA. I still can’t believe I’m getting married. Can you? We always said you’d be the first.”
We did. We always said Cara was too headstrong for marriage, and I was more likely to make a man happy. Look at us now - me without a man and her, making one happy.
I nodded along. “That we did.”
She sighed, taking a moment to chew a bit of her sandwich. “Amazing how things change huh?” She got a faraway look in her eyes, “whatever happened to those girls?”
“They grew up.”
The reminiscing was too much.
“Look, I just wanted to tell you I won’t be coming tomorrow.”
“No, why not?” She moaned.
“Why are you screaming like your cat died?” he said, walking from around the corner. “Hey Madkins,” he said bending to kiss the top of my head.
“Hey, Liam.” I tried hard not to cringe. This was going to get bad.
“My two favorite people,” Cara said eating a little more.
Liam leaned forward and grabbed two, eating them in one bite.
“Ugh, you pig!” she said slapping his arm.
He laughed, as he ate another one.
“So what are you screaming about?”
“It’s Maddie,” she wailed like a child. “She keeps saying no.”
“To?” he asked, looking at me.
“To the dress rehearsal!” Cara answered for me.
You would have thought I was missing one of the wonders of the world.
“Why not Mads?” he asked waiting for an answer.
“Because I’m busy. I told you that. I just thought if I come by today, you’d be alright with it.”
“I will not.” She pouted and crossed her arms.
“Maddie, can’t you just?” Liam said, but I interrupted.
“No, unfortunately I can’t.”
Cara interrupted, “Ugh, Liam, make her stop! Please.” She stood abruptly. “When I come back I want to hear that she is coming to my dress rehearsal!” She had gotten better with the dramatics since being in LA I thought to myself as she stormed off.
“Well she certainly knows how to make an exit,” he said eating another sandwich.
“And an entrance.”
“Oh really?” he asked, inclining his head to the last one, “want it?”
I shook my head no. “Yes really, you should have seen how she accosted me at the door. I just wanted to say I wasn’t going, and she practically yanked me in the door, demanding I sit for sandwiches.”
He laughed, “I mean but really, did you expect she’d change that much?”
I had to laugh too, “true.”
The laughter tempered down and then I was left feeling awkward again. How did he keep getting me alone?
“You know, I’ve been thinking.”
I could feel how serious this was about to get.
“About the last time we were here.”
I stood quickly. “Look I really have to go.”
“Ok, I’ll let you go.”
“Great,” I said relieved. I really didn’t want to have this conversation.
“Under one condition.”
Crap. I gulped in anticipation. “Come to the rehearsal dinner.” That wasn’t so bad…“As my date.”
Double crap. I couldn’t do that. I shouldn’t go. What about Emmy? Just thinking about her made my stomach roil.
“Um...”
“Listen Maddie. We can do this the hard way or the easy way. You can either say yes or deal with the hound dog name Cara.”
I could only fidget with the hem of my dress.
He stood up and walked near. “I just want to talk.” I could smell his cologne and his hands were soft as he tilted my face up. “I want to go, and I want to go with you.”
He rubbed my cheek, and I was so weak I turned my face to his palm.
“…Ok.”
He chuckled lowly, “I’ll take it.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
The bar was what I expected, crowded since it was the only one. The rumbling of the talking crowd didn’t go silent as I entered. It wasn’t the kind of silence where everyone knew who you were. It was the kind of ongoing noise where you were accepted. No one pretended to look at me…they ether looked or they didn’t. I was a celebrity, but I wasn’t royalty here. I was family.
I sat with a cold one and the few men I could still call friends sat drinking on the stools around me. All I needed was the cool refreshing taste of alcohol to numb my pain. A brunette beauty wedged herself between the counter and me. She was naturally toned and too beautiful to be living around here. More than likely, word was spreading of my whereabouts. Her blouse was pink and flowing with lacy patterns but her skirt was short and tight. It held tightly to her wide curve and flowed down her legs into black heels. Her stance was perfect, with all her weight on her right foot and lifting the other. She held out a 20 and asked for whatever was on tap while looking over me. She smiled catching me staring. A true southerner would have blushed. Her eyes were as dark as her hair, and she smiled before a peek of tongue dashed out to wet her pink lips. She was tempting yes, but not what I wanted.
I wasn’t even here to drink, not really, but here I was nonetheless. Everywhere I turned I could see her. I could smell her. She wouldn’t leave my mind. I didn’t like to drink. It tended to make the next few days of training hell. I was a celebrity. I shouldn’t drink. But I was drinking, stuck in a memory that I would give anything to relive. Memories. Why do they haunt me? Why was she floating in front of me, living and sleeping in my mind? All things changed because of one choice made.
I could have invited the women, flocking to me in droves, back
to my place. The blonde and Latina were a beautiful combination. Even the barmaid giggled at my charm. But I didn’t. I responded by drinking more. They weren’t her, were they? By the time the bar closed, I was hammered. I knew it but I didn’t care. The women I refused to go home with did though.
In my drunken stupor, I found myself somewhere I shouldn’t have been…
