by Damon Alan
She saw the point of his surrender. He exhaled slowly, “Yes, I'd have nuked the Villotte.”
“I really wanted too, but I wasn't in command. I was a lowly navigator, sixteenth in line to command. But my captain was going to do it. For me, because he and I had fought together before. The XO and I talked him out of it. Because killing the Villotte wasn’t going to help stop the Hive, and if we stayed to re-target the Villotte my fellow crewmen were going to die.”
“Hard decision.”
“One that haunts me, but I’ve come to terms with it. Vonn and Jac are still dead. Still, I wanted to destroy the Villotte with all my heart. Did the people of Hamor deserve any less?”
“So you’re justifying their actions.” Gilbert actually pointed a finger at her. “I thought you said you were pissed off?”
“I said I was angry when I read it. It’s so extreme, and the blood of Hamor is on Alliance hands, not Hive. But in over a century of war nothing has stopped the Hive. Nothing. This tactic was something new. After the battle Third Fleet knew they weren't going to make it out because the Shanda's FTL drive was destroyed. After we signaled our retreat, they sent this report out with us. To my suprise, my fleet key opened the encryption. Since we aren't going back to Alliance HQ, I read this right after we recrewed the Yascurra.”
Gilbert frowned. “So you've had some time to think about it. You want to give me three months?”
“Get a grip. I was going to destroy this, but since we found intelligent life at our new home, I wanted to see how you felt about it. If nukes are released, we have to agree.”
“If the Refugians were Hive, then no problem. I’d say lay waste to them. But they're human, so no way.”
Black and white. He needed to see and share her point of view in the event he became fleet commander. “What if they're human, but hostile, and try to nuke us? I know we don’t see any tech, but do we know for sure? Being out here might indicate they're anti-social.”
“Life is easier as a grunt.”
That confused Sarah. “Pardon me?”
“You're told, “shoot those guys over there”, and you go do it. Simple.”
He didn’t want to be involved in a command decision? That was disappointing. “You want me to make this decision alone?”
“Fuck no, Captain, I don't. You made me your first officer, and I'll do my duty. You're also a friend of mine, and I care about you. I'm not going to let you stand alone. I'll shoot who you say shoot, but using nukes is too much without extreme provocation. But if these people use nukes on us, we should retaliate.”
Sarah remained silent to let him think about it.
“So we agree,” he said.
Sarah laughed. “We don't agree. Refuge isn't Hive, so we're not nuking it, no matter what.”
The anger fled his face, replaced by confusion. “But you just defended the people who nuked Hamor... I don't get it.”
Sarah sympathized with him. Part of the evolution to fleet commander was overcoming the difficulty of seeing the bigger picture. “What happens if the Hive takes over the entire galaxy, Franklin?”
“I don't know. There won't be any humans left to consider what happe...” Gilbert paused. “Oh. We can't nuke them because they might be the only future humanity has.”
“That's right. The Hive has no reason to care about this one lone wandering star. They may never come here.”
They floated in silence for two minutes as Sarah let him think it over.
“Then we're the guard dog,” Gilbert said.
“Pardon?”
“You're telling me these people might be the last hope for human beings. You’re saying they’re so important that if they attack us, we can’t engage them to win, at least not with nukes. If they're that important, we have to be ready to go after anything that comes here to harm them. You said the Hive may never come here. That means they might. We have to be prepared to defend this place and these people. It certainly doesn’t look like they can do it themselves.”
She thought a moment as uneasiness slowly filled her soul. “You really think the Hive will come here?”
“Did you think we'd find colonists already here?”
Sarah stared at him, taking her turn to absorb what he said.
How could I be so arrogant. I thought he didn’t see the entire picture. I’m an idiot.
Gilbert’s eyes softened, his voice sympathetic. “Sorry, Captain, you're the one who pointed out how important these people are. They’re not Hive. They’re not aliens. They’re human. They’re now the reason the Stennis has to exist.”
Sarah stood silent for a few moments. “You’re right. This means we'll have to set up listening posts in the outer solar system. We're already stretched thin.”
Gilbert pulled back the silver foil of his chocolate bar, and took a bite. “You get to be the one to tell the crewman we're going to man remote listening posts. With the privilege of rank, comes the bullshit.”
Sarah snorted. “More than we'd ever have guessed as junior officers.”
Still chewing chocolate, Gilbert popped the seal on his wine pouch. “I'll drink to that, Captain.”
Sarah put the datapad in the safe after erasing the content. “Nobody but you and I will know the truth of what happened at Hamor.” She opened her cooler and tossed him another packet of wine.
They floated quietly, sipping wine and tasting chocolate together for a few minutes.
Sarah finally broke the contemplative silence. “Let’s talk. How long has it been since you just talked to someone?”
“Other than our chat at Hamor? Forever. Everything is business when you’re trying to survive.”
“I want to try to live now. Not only survive.”
“We all do, Captain.”
She sucked out a mouthful of wine, and looked at the pouch a moment before speaking. “Sarah. My name is Sarah.”
He looked like he started to say something, but changed his mind. “Sarah. It's a great name. If we're getting to the informal stage of our private friendship, I guess you can call me Snuggles.”
She threw a data pen at him. “Bastard. Maybe supply officer Garrett would prefer to drink with me...”
“What? I'll call you Tootles before I let that jerk have my wine.”
“Your wine?”
Gilbert's face turned red, but not with anger. “I can't win. You're smarter than I am. I'm just a marine.”
Sarah laughed, the type of laugh that comes with wine and good company. “I am smarter than you, sure. Don't forget it.”
He threw the pen back, she snagged it from the air.
“Tell me about your past, Gilbert.”
“Franklin.”
“Franklin. Tell me about your past. Outside the military.”
They shared more wine, and talked about mundane matters that seem interesting to intoxicated minds. They laughed about Corriea sticking up for Dantora. They picked people in the crew that might pair off as time passed. Several hours later Sarah watched through a haze as Gilbert floated away to his own quarters.
The first man I've had in my quarters since Vonn died, and he's going back to his own bed. Maybe that’s for the best.
Her body said otherwise. She had a physical hunger, something she hadn’t felt in eighteen years. A wartime captain couldn’t allow herself to feel such things.
She growled at herself in the mirror as she dressed for bed. “Fuck you,” she said to her image. “Quit being a coward. The war is over for you.”
She stared at herself for a long while.
You're a real winner, Sarah. More afraid of living than death.
After drinking another pouch of wine, she drifted off to a few hours of sleep.
She didn’t have nightmares, but dreamed of things more human.
Chapter 10 - Advance of the Demon
Afternoon of Firstday, cycle 28, year 8748
Alarin stood outside the doorway to Merik's quarters. He knew she was inside, and he wasn't looking forward to the co
ming exchange with her. Her anger was boundless lately, and he was starting to dread the time they spent together. At least when it concerned business or training.
Her power is terrifying, and still grows stronger. Why would the gods bless one who strays so far from their teachings?
She would be enraged if Alarin told her the advice of the priests on the matter. Then she’d do the opposite.
Sighing in surrender to his fate, he opened the door and walked in. He pulled his face into a smile, and let some of the intelligence vacate his eyes.
“Good morning, Master Merik, my beloved.”
“Alarin. Where have you been?” Merik snapped.
He let a few thoughts slip from his veiled mind for her to catch. I hope she's not angry I was at the temple. If only I could lie.
The smile on her face revealed her pleasure with his offering.
Alarin behaved as if the smile was for him. “I have been at the temple, performing service to the people, discussing the meaning of the demons you see.” He was praying at the Temple of Faroo most of the morning, speaking to the learned masters of the Sun God about the new demon in the sky.
Merik would not understand, she was never particularly religious, but over the past season she’d become the most godless adept he knew.
She waved her hand dismissively. “If serving your old religion gratifies you, then by all means do so. One day you will be my husband if those damned priests of yours ever complete their superstitious rituals. I won’t deny you your whims and distractions just because I have no use for them.”
Alarin winced, expecting the gods would strike Merik for her blasphemy. They tolerated her outburst as they had the many times before. Surely they must have a limit to their patience.
A random thought, perhaps placed by the gods, pushed into Alarin's head. Perhaps Merik’s demons are that justice.
Alarin wasn't sure what Merik saw, sometimes she spoke of the demon, other times she spoke of demons. It was all quite strange, and she had yet to find words to clarify it for him.
She looked frustrated, and Alarin poured her a glass of wine to calm her down. He walked to her and slipped it into her hands. “Merik, my love, you've taken me into your bed. We’re together almost all of the time. The ceremonies the priests of Faroo and Jalai undertake are for the people, not us. Our marriage will be very public. In all ways that matter, however, we are one already.”
She grabbed the wine from him, a pout on her face. “You seek to placate me.”
“I seek to direct the energies of the greatest adept to ever live in a worthy direction.”
Merik laughed, and he knew he'd won. “Success for you, Alarin, you have tamed the beast that is me.”
His victory likely transitory, Alarin continued to fight. “I entertained you for a moment. I can't imagine taming Merik Sur'batti. She is her own woman.”
She turned abruptly, embracing him. She held him tightly for a few long minutes, which was both surprising and welcome. Her words were less so. “If you ever hurt me, my heart will be so broken I will kill everyone you have ever loved.”
“I love you too,” he said, eyes narrowed to slits.
Merik never lied. She got what she wanted with a word, and with that the reasons for lying were gone. These were not the idle threats of a secret lover. Not a threat at all, but a warning and the sincere words of the ruler of Zeffult. Alarin quickly thought of his sister being harmed by Merik, and let the dread of that moment escape him. He felt Merik relax in his arms.
Her mind was opaque to him, but she seemed to feel her threat was a success.
Alarin drew back to look her in the eyes. “We both know who is master here, and who is the puppet.”
“But you're my puppet. And my lover. And my acolyte. I'm the only one who can teach you anything, Alarin, you've grown quite powerful yourself. You're here for my teachings as much as love for me.”
She is brilliant, he loosed from his mind. “I won’t lie, Merik. You know I’m here for both.”
She smiled as her mind caught his thoughts. She let one slip to him. He never knew if she let thoughts slip intentionally as he did, or if she simply lost concentration.
He really is perfect for me. I control him, she thought.
Alarin stifled any emotional response, instead turning to business. “What is my lesson for today?”
“No lesson, Alarin, the demon has me worried. Can you see it yet?”
“Only faintly, near Halvi when she is risen. But it’s… I don’t see it as a demon.”
“When I first noticed it, it was near Jalai, as if she birthed it. Maybe she did, if the demon is borne of your gods. That makes sense, as she is the great mother of all. After it sprang from her womb, it moved to Halvi.”
“Why would a demon go to Halvi?”
Merik sneered. “Maybe it seeks council from your lord of ice.”
Alarin flinched instinctively. More irrational blasphemy.
“Maybe, Merik. That can't be good, Halvi is not a kind power.”
“The demon keeps moving, Alarin. It’s still near Halvi, but it has left her and approaches. What does it mean?”
Alarin tested waters he feared to swim. “One of the things I talked to the priests about was the demon you see. They believe it’s a test of who we are as a people. Father Jumgol says that we once lived in the sky, and all things have cycles. There will be something that will come from the sky, and it will change us.”
“Rubbish. It's a demon, sent by the gods to frustrate my rise.”
He sighed. “One thing we all agree on is there is something in the sky.”
She turned on him, rage on her face. “Are you patronizing me?”
Alarin was again shocked by her sudden change of disposition. “No, of course not. I fear the gods, they put us here and they can do as they please to us. I am in awe of your power, my love, but compared to the gods you are only a mortal. If they want your power frustrated, it will be so.”
Merik’s tone darkened. Her finger stabbed him on his chest. “I am no mere mortal, Alarin Sur'batti, and you'd do well to remember it.” She pushed him to the couch with her mind, and stood over him threateningly. “This demon may be a test, but I am Merik Sur'batti, and I will overcome anything the gods throw at me.”
She released him, and he rose to sit. He sat silently, his mind closed.
She is particularly unstable today, it seems. She hasn't been physically punitive with me in a long time. Since training began, years ago.
He thought of the demon, and what it meant for the beast to be in the sky.
“Have I hurt your feelings? I am the ruler of Zeffult, and you sit there smugly feeling brave for reminding me of my smallness. Fuck your gods.”
A rush of understanding washed over Alarin.
She’s afraid. I didn’t think I'd live to see it. Fear feeds her blasphemy and stokes her madness.
Alarin needed to know if he was correct. “I don't mean to offend, Merik, but what about the demon agitates you so?”
“It’s like a closed door… no, more a wall. A wall blocks you from seeing what’s on the other side. This demon does this, but not for my eyes, for my mind. There’s a large area where the demon is that I cannot see into. Once the demon is close enough, you will understand. Your gods have sent something to rob us of the gift.”
Alarin stood, no longer concerned she would push him back down. “It already upsets me because it upsets you. But I am not the most gifted adept to ever walk Nula Armana. I’m not you.” Nobody would ever see anything as well as Merik.
Merik rolled her eyes and sighed. “I grow tired of this. It’s coming, we will see what it wants and destroy it if that’s the correct path. Walk with me to the balcony.”
Alarin spoke to her back as he followed her. As her mate he gave her counsel, it was his duty. “I don't think you should underestimate something sent by the gods, Merik.”
Merik turned and gestured for Alarin to be silent. She took his hand and led him outsid
e. The balcony was a small veranda off her suite of private rooms at the palace. Black marble tiles stretched from door to railing. “Look below, at the harbor, do you see that?”
Alarin looked as she commanded. “I do. A gilded ship, it looks to be worthy of an adept.”
Merik’s voice lilted, as it did when she was daring him to challenge her. “Precisely. That’s Gannalli's ship. The first of many to grace our beautiful harbor. I have called a High Council meeting.”
“May I ask why?”
She traced her finger along the black marble railing. “To discuss the demon. Since I called the meeting. the others are coming here. They have been for weeks.”
“This is the first I've heard of it.”
“It's the first time I've told you. Do I need your permission?” Her lilting tone was a knife. Alarin remembered her father, how he’d behaved the same in his childish grandiosity. Especially toward Alarin. Right up to the day Merik killed him.
Alarin let slip enough emotion that she would feel his sadness. “Hardly. I thought we shared things more closely.
“You've been in my body. That's close. This is a trivial matter, the High Council will do my bidding. If I needed your persuasive skills, I’d have sought your aid. But this is fear, and they’ll understand that. Do you remember Aranya challenging me at the last meeting?”
“Sadly, I do.”
Merik glared at him. “Don't be so dramatic. She got what she deserved.”
“That would not be a surprise to me.”
She again used physical force on him, but with different intent this time. She pinned him to the wall and leaned into him. Close enough he could smell the wine on her breath. “You are bold today. It's exciting me.”
Alarin knew that was his purpose. He was the one person allowed to show any disagreement with the all powerful Merik.
She led him back inside, to work off her excitement. After, they spent the day drinking wine.
Chapter 11 - A Room Full of Demons
Time has no meaning in perdition
Eislen dreamed of monsters. Black monsters with writhing tendrils ripped at him. He wanted to fight back, but his gift was too weak and the monsters tore it from him like it was batting a ball from the hand of a child. He tried to awaken, but the dark tentacles flailed at his mind and dragged him back in.
