by Mimi Milan
She waved the bride off and focused on the baby again when one of Madame’s girls, Angelique, shuffled by. Head down, it was obvious the girl was trying to go unnoticed.
“Oye, nena. You looking for Avis?”
The young woman looked up and silently nodded. Fina’s heart immediately went out to her. The girl’s inability to speak was common knowledge now and Josefina suspected she had been treated poorly because of it. Of course, there was no saying for sure. She felt bad for her, though. Her dark hair, slight figure and sad eyes reminded Fina of her own sister, Elena, on the last day the two saw each other. The child had fallen to her knees, pleading that her sister stay on with her and papa. All Fina could think of was that her mother had finally returned. Head filled with the promise to take her on the greatest adventure of a lifetime, Josefina ran off with her mother.
Had someone promised Angelique the world, too?
Fina thumbed to the stairs. “I can’t say for certain, but you could always try upstairs.”
Angelique gave her a thankful smile and nodded before leaving the room.
“And what about us, amor?” Fina asked the baby and bounced her yet again. She had gotten a late start to the day, barely eating breakfast as she worried about whether or not her chances with Nacho were ruined. However, now she could feel the rumblings of hunger gnawing at the pit of her stomach. She stroked the child’s cheek. “Do you think we should find a few scraps to eat?”
“Scraps?” The sound of shock and indignation made her swivel in her seat. “Señorita, surely you joke.”
The sight of Nacho standing before warmed Fina from head to all the way down to her twisted ankle. “Señor, I did not expect to find you here.”
“And why not?” Nacho asked. “When I bid you goodbye yesterday, did I not say I would see you again?”
“Yes, you did.” Fina looked down, pretending to preoccupy herself with the baby. She straightened the child’s outfit and then jiggled her up and down a few times. “I was concerned you might have changed your mind, though.”
Nacho took a seat across from her. “Why did you think that?”
Embarrassed, she avoided his eyes until the last possible moment.
“My behavior was less than exemplary yesterday.” She glanced into his dark eyes, noticing that they looked as troubled as she felt. “Can you forgive me?”
“There is nothing to forgive, but I have to confess that I was at a bit of a loss yesterday. Things were going so well earlier in the day.” He hesitated and pointed to her ankle. “Perhaps not so very well with the injury you suffered, but before that. We were cooking, you were dancing… and then nothing. It was like the weather. One minute, nice. The next minute, a sudden snowstorm blows in and leaves everything like ice. Tell me, Josefina. What happened? Did I say something to upset you?”
Fina let out a tired sigh. So, he was completely unaware of what upset her the day before. She shifted the baby to one side and reached into a pocket to produce the beautiful ribbon Nacho gifted her the previous day. “I’m sorry, Ignacio. My behavior was uncalled for. However, I’m sure you will understand that I couldn’t possibly accept a gift that belonged to your wife – especially not something as personal as the ribbons she wore in her hair.”
Looking away, she held the turquoise strip to him, hopeful he would understand. The very thought that she had wrapped the same string in her braid after it had been in his lover’s hair made her shiver with disgust. She could almost imagine Nacho running a hand down some phantom woman’s intricate weave, his fingers trailing through her hair only to pull on the ribbon until it came undone. Then they would tumble out of sight, into some tryst too intimate – and too painful – for even her active mind to conjure up. The very thought brought a lump to her throat. Her eyes began to burn. Her voice quivered when she finally spoke again.
“Don’t you think anymore of me than that?”
Nacho stood and walked over to her, gently accepting the ribbon as he knelt down in front of her chair.
“You’re right. It was thoughtless of me to give you something that had been intended for another. I simply didn’t want to arrive to our first meeting empty-handed, and it was the first thing that came to mind. I realize now that it was reckless. Had I considered it better, I’m sure I could have come up with something much more suitable.” He grasped her free hand in earnest, the other still wrapped around the child who precociously sat in the crook of Fina’s arm, trying hard to reach out and grab the turquoise sentiment crushed between their unyielding hands. He took a slow, steadying breath before he forged on. “However, I can promise you this much, Josefina. It was not meant to be callous. This ribbon has never been worn by anyone other than yourself.”
Josefina sniffed. “I don’t understand. Madame Bonheur told me about how the ribbon belonged to your Colette.”
“Fina, you cannot believe a word that woman says. She’s little better than the devil himself,” Nacho insisted. “And please don’t refer to her as my Colette.”
“But she was. You married her.”
“Yes, I married her. However, I did it because I thought she was carrying my child.”
Josefina gasped. “You have a child?”
“No,” Nacho whispered, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He shook his head as if trying to mentally clear away whatever image must have plagued him. “Colette went into labor long before the baby was due. They were both lost.”
Her grip on his hand tightened. “Ay, pobrecito. I’m so sorry. Losing your mujer had to be difficult enough, but to lose a child? I wouldn’t wish that on an enemy.”
Suddenly moved, she pulled her hands out of his and crossed him. “Que Dios te bendiga,” she said and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.
Her lips were soft against his skin and he wished she had lingered a little longer, but knew it would have been inappropriate for her to do so while petitioning a blessing on his behalf.
“Thank you,” he said as she sat back again. “It’s something I’ve accepted, though. The truth is, it wasn’t too hard to move past that time in my life. Rumor had it that even while we were married, Colette had never given up her questionable profession – that she still accepted gentlemen callers whenever I wasn’t around. In fact, some even said that it was highly probable the child wasn’t even mine. Not that I didn’t care about their passing, of course! I’m simply explaining why it was so important for me to find a devout, domesticated wife when I volunteered to marry. I’m so thankful I found you. Will you please give me another chance?”
This time it was he who initiated a kiss – a benevolent one on her hand almost too reverent to describe, but echoing the same earnest plea he had spoken moments before. A part of her rejoiced in the fact that he still wanted to make things work between them – that he would forgive the coldness she had shown him over such a trivial matter as a silly piece of string.
There was another part of her, though, a fragmented piece that maliciously jabbed at her troubled conscience. She was not the divine creature he conceived her to be, but a liar parading around as something she wasn’t. She knew the only right thing to do was to be upfront with him about her own troubled past, but the idea of admitting that she was less than what he desired frightened her. She was beginning to like him and the idea of being married to someone like Nacho appealed to her. What if she confessed her own sordid story and decided he wanted to cancel their contract?
She shifted the baby once more. “You don’t have to ask me to give you another chance, Nacho. There’s nothing to forgive. In fact, I can see how it was wrong to get upset now that you’ve explained everything. I should have just talked to you about how I felt from the beginning.”
“So, it does not bother you that I was married before?”
She shook her head. “We both have things from our pa –”
“Nacho!”
The interruption forced both of them to look up. Nacho quickly stood, his discomfort quite noticeable as he shifted from one foot to
the other and tugged at his shirt collar. He nodded at the two women standing before them.
“Um… hello, Jolie… Felice.”
Fina had learned earlier in the morning that the woman was yet another one of Madame’s “girls.” The first, a darker haired woman with a look as sharp as Madame Bonheur’s usual expression, cast a brief glance Fina’s way. She sniffed a short dismissal and refocused her attention on Nacho. The second women, a petite blonde with s squeaky voice that grated on everyone’s nerves, strutted towards him. She wrapped her arms around Nacho’s neck.
“Did you miss me, sweetie? I sure missed you.”
She raised up on her toes and planted a kiss on Nacho’s cheek. The bold action forced Fina out of her seat. She promptly stood, completely forgetting about her sprained ankle. The immediate pain that seared down her foot reminded her and she winced.
Nacho wormed his way out of Felice’s grip to embrace Fina. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” she said and shifted the baby to the opposite hip. “My foot is still a little swollen from yesterday.”
Jolie spoke up. “We heard about that, dear. Such a... pity.”
The expression on the woman’s face read anything other than what she professed. A slight smirk tugged at one corner of her mouth, and Fina would have sworn there was a bright glow in her eyes – almost as if the woman delighted to see others in pain.
Or maybe it was the fact that she knew the real cause behind yesterday’s accident. Fina had sought out Penny to explain that it wasn’t the woman’s fault at all. It was that wretched Madame Bonheur. The more Fina thought about it, the more she distinctly recalled feeling something coil around her foot as she danced near that dreadful woman.
That shameful sinner intentionally stuck a foot out to trip her!
However, it was impossible for Fina to inform her friend of the truth since she was nowhere to be found. Surely, the woman was avoiding Fina (and possibly all the others) with the hope that no more of her “bad luck” would rub off on them. Not that Josefina was really worried about such. She had abandoned her former life when she escaped Hank. Now she offered up prayers, burned sage and lit inscribed candles every Sunday in the name of all that was holy, all of which protected her from irrational superstitions.
“Perhaps it’s best if I leave,” Nacho broke the silence. “I only stopped by to bring you this.”
He walked back over to the chair he sat in earlier. For the first time, Fina noticed the book that he had brought with him.
“What’s that, sweetie? You bring us a gift?” Felice thrusted her hands out for the book, but Nacho held it away.
“No, I did not.” He gave her a stern glare until she finally got the message.
Felice shrugged. “I’m not much for reading anyway. Come on, Jolie. Let’s get out of here. We don’t need these people or their toffee-nosed morality rubbing off on us.”
Fina refrained from stating what was on her mind. She couldn’t say much about Jolie, but if what she heard about Felice was even remotely true, then the woman could use a good dose of morality. From her understanding, the woman had abandoned her family – much like Fina’s own mother. Leaving behind a husband and two small children, she sought to make a fortune on the stage. However, her aspirations of becoming an actress flopped. So, she turned to whoring in order to support herself. No one knew if it was because she simply didn’t want to return home, or if her husband refused to take her back. Either way, she stuck with Madame Bonheur with the plan to one day take over La Maison.
When Nacho failed to act remorseful of her declaration to leave, Felice finally turned up her straight, pretty nose. With Jolie by her side, she strutted out the room, stopping only long enough to cast one last look at the Mexican man who vexed her. He still wore a look of disgust – in part over the woman’s behavior as well as the fact that he had once been intimately involved with her.
He turned to Josefina, remorse lacing his words. “I find myself once again in the position to ask for your forgiveness. I was young and stupid when I first moved to this town. I didn’t realize getting involved with Madame Bonheur could be so damaging.”
Josefina stilled. She felt the blood drain from her face, a dizzying rush forcing her to relax further into the chair. She gave baby Jem a comforting squeeze. Then she placed the child down on the blanket beside the chair to play for a few minutes, and tried standing once again, placing all her weight on her good foot. Nacho reached out to steady her, but she waved away his assistance. She looked him squarely in the eyes.
“You were involved with the Madame herself?”
Nacho paled. “Ay que no! That’s not what I meant at all. I won’t go into details, but let me say that even I’m not that brave. I would never touch that woman.”
“Just the women who work for her,” Josefina pressed.
“No,” Nacho insisted. “Not all of them. There was Colette – who you already know I stole away and married. Felice was nothing more than an accident because I missed having Colette around.”
“You must have loved her very much then.”
Josefina fought to keep the sadness out of her voice, but failed miserably. There was something depressing about fighting against a ghost for a man’s heart.
“Honestly? We got on well enough. That is, as well as could be expected. I don’t think either one of us was truly in love with the other, though.” Nacho focused on the book he still held, picking at a corner of the binding that had started to unravel. He finally left it be and looked back up. “I think it was more a matter of her wanting someone willing to be the father of her unborn child, and my desire to have a family clouding my better judgment. So, I did it. I married her even though some of the other men said I was bien loco – that I shouldn’t mess with her because she would never be faithful.”
His explanation made it apparent that she wouldn’t be measured against another woman should they marry. It gave her hope that she could maybe be good enough for him… if he wouldn’t judge her for her own past transgressions.
“Oye, Nacho. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself… or on her.” She looked for an opening to reveal her past. “Sometimes people do things out of desperation.”
“I know,” Nacho said, cutting Fina off. He approached her and handed out the book once more. “However, it’s better that the issue doesn’t exist to begin with. That’s why I’m so thankful that I was one of the men chosen. I’m so grateful that Mrs. Walters found me someone like you – a woman I feel confident to share my family’s greatest secrets with.”
Josefina swallowed hard, unsure of exactly what she should say. Fear encased her heart, reminding her that it was dangerous to tell him that she had once been little better than the women who worked for Madame Bonheur. The only real difference was that she had been more of a dancing girl. Still, there had been evening visitors – plenty of them – to worm their way in and out of her bedroom.
She looked down at the book in his hands and gently accepted it. “Muchas gracias.”
“De nada.” He slowly opened his hand to reveal the bunched-up turquoise string. “A woman such as yourself is more worthy than secondhand goods. I will burn this and buy another that is even better.”
Josefina’s hand quickly wrapped around his. “No, don’t do that. It’s not really secondhand, if you think about it. Besides, I would be honored to accept any gift you give me.”
She pulled the colorful cord from his hand, leaving his free to reach out and stroke her hair.
“You are too good,” he said and leaned forward, his lips gently grazing hers.
She tipped her head back, encouraging the kiss to grow deeper. Full of him, both her mouth and body burned with desire. A feeling rushed through her – one that she could only compare to precariously balancing on the brink of a cliff. The fall was inevitable but came with the assurance that she had also been granted wings, and her heart soared when she pulled away to find his eyes full of the same intense yearning she felt.
; A squeal from below broke the passionate moment. Heat raced through Fina and she laughed.
“Oh, is that what you think?” She reached down and picked up the precious babe again. “I suppose you’re right. Your mother might not approve of you seeing such things at so young an age.”
Nacho chuckled. “I hope that’s not the case. Once we’re married, I plan on stealing kisses whenever I want… and our children will just have to accept that fact.”
Her head snapped back up. Their own children? With the life she had lived, she hadn’t really given the subject much thought. Now that the idea was planted in her head, she kind of liked it. She bounced baby Jem on her hip. “What do you think of that, nena? Would you like some friends to play with?”
The excitement in Josefina’s voice made the baby squeal with delight again, but she liked to think the child was agreeing with her. Children of her own to love would be perfect.
“I think she likes the idea,” Nacho said. He lightly grasped Fina’s arm and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I must go. The supper rush starts soon. I’ll leave the book here for you to look over. Maybe once your ankle heals, you can come down to the diner and we can try making a few of the recipes together.”
“I would like that,” Fina said.
“Good. Then I’ll see myself out.”
“Oh, no. Wait a moment and I’ll walk you to the door.”
“And risk injuring yourself further? I think not, señorita. I can find my way.”
“Very well.”
With her years of training she managed to perfectly balance on one foot and curtsy. She knew it was an old, outdated custom. Still, she hoped the sentiment wouldn’t be lost on him and thrilled to see she was right when he bowed in return, a broad smile painted across his charming face. She waved as he walked away, so elated to think that she would have such a gentleman for a husband that she was almost able to forget all the other troubles that persisted on plaguing her.
