by Susan Meier
He’d done it every day the first week Audra had been gone, and Dominic was smart enough to figure out that after seeing Audra last night, he was looking for her again today. That was why he’d jumped into her arms from Mary’s the night before. He had missed Audra.
“She’s not coming back.” Saying the words caused a tsunami of disappointment to flood Dominic’s chest, but he squelched it. How could he be upset when he didn’t even understand what he’d done? They’d talked about having a relationship, but she’d somehow jumped them the whole way to marriage. He’d thought she understood what he wanted. But seeing her mother had changed everything.
He snorted a laugh. That was Mary. Strong enough that she barely had to say two words to get her point across. She didn’t want him with her precious daughter. He got it.
“But we’re okay. We can do this. We’re family.”
He changed the baby’s diaper and took him downstairs to Joyce. “I understand the drill is that you watch him while I dress?”
Surprised, Joyce reached for Joshua. “It’s the joy of my day,” she said with a laugh. “But where’s the nanny?”
“She quit. Mary was caring for him last night when I got back from dinner.”
“Maybe we should call Audra?”
“Audra is gone and we’re not bringing her back.”
With that he turned and walked out of the room to the master suite, pretending nothing was wrong. He canceled his work schedule so that he and Mary could again interview nannies, and by the end of the day the tension in the room was so thick he couldn’t take it anymore.
“Go ahead,” he said, leaning back on the office chair in the den. “I know you want to ask.”
“It’s not my business.”
“Normally I would agree, but since this involves your daughter, we’re in a different situation.”
“Okay, then I’ll ask. What’s going on between the two of you?”
“Nothing. After you met us at the door with the baby, she left because she said she knew I would never marry her.”
Mary smiled. “And apparently you let her leave because you have no intention of marrying her.”
“I have no intention of marrying anyone.”
“Then everything is the way it should be.” Mary rose from her seat. “Dominic, you and my daughter aren’t good for each other. You think she’s a tough cookie and in some ways she is. But she’s already had one heartbreak. She doesn’t need another.”
“I wouldn’t have broken her heart.”
Walking to the door, Mary said, “Of course you would. Not intentionally. But the second someone came along who suited your fancy more, you would have moved on. Unthinking. And Audra would have been standing as alone and vulnerable as she was at the back of that church waiting for David.”
“I don’t think anybody better than Audra could come along. There is no one better.”
Mary laughed and turned to face him. “If you believe that, you should marry her. But you don’t believe that. So leave it alone. Leave her alone.”
When she was gone, Dominic tossed his pencil to his desk. If he didn’t believe that, why did his heart hurt so much?
And if he did believe there was no one better than Audra, why couldn’t he say he loved her? Why couldn’t he see himself settling down with her? Marrying her? Growing old with her?
At ten-thirty that night, Audra grabbed a tissue from her desk and blew her nose, just as Belle walked in.
“What are you doing working! It’s ten-thirty on a Saturday night!” She began, but her scolding tone stopped abruptly when she took a good look at Audra. “Audra?”
Audra looked up. Her eyes red. Her nose running. “I can’t go home.”
Belle rushed into the room. “Oh, sugar! What happened?”
“Everything was going really well with me and Dominic. We actually had a date last night. But when we got back to his house, my mother was there with the baby…and everything got screwed up. I suddenly felt like I was settling, or he was using me and my mother is his household manager, so it just seemed like he was only playing with the hired help.” She tossed her hands in despair. “He’s never been in my apartment, but for some stupid reason or another every darn thing everywhere reminds me of him—”
“Honey, you are making absolutely no sense, but it doesn’t matter. The beauty of me living next door is that I can whisk you away to my quarters and take care of you.”
“Don’t whisk me away!”
“Okay, honey,” Belle said, leading her out of her office and to the small corridor that led to her apartment. “Nobody here wants to whisk you away. We need you.”
After Belle encouraged Audra to drink a cup of chamomile tea, she directed her to the guest suite of her townhouse and told her to shower. When Audra was done, Belle returned with a pair of her pajamas. “They’ll be big, but you’ll be comfortable.”
Wrapped in a towel, Audra took the pajamas. “Thanks, Belle.”
“And tomorrow we’re calling a meeting, and the girls and I can help you through this.”
“No!”
Belle started. “No?”
Audra turned her back so she could slide into the pajama tops. “Could we keep this heartbreak a secret?”
“I don’t see how you can.”
She took a breath, stepping into the pajama bottoms. “I already hinted to Julie that I intended to take a tropical vacation. A few days away should be enough that I won’t be crying when I return.”
“But everybody—”
Audra pulled back the covers on the bed. “Please, Belle. One public humiliation was enough. Let me do this one in secret.”
“Okay.” She tucked Audra in. “I’ll call my travel agent and get you a ticket. Where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere. And I’ve got an even bigger favor to ask you…could you call my mum? She’ll explain.”
***
The Sunday morning with Joshua was a total disaster. The moment the temporary nanny, whom Mary had somehow magicked out of thin air, picked up the baby, he didn’t just cry; he screamed. After the first fifteen minutes, Dominic couldn’t take it anymore. He forgot all about his pride and dialed Audra’s cell phone number, ready to humble himself. But his call immediately went to voice mail. He tried at least twenty times before noon, but every time his call went to voice mail.
Furious, he left the nanny alone with Joshua and strode into the kitchen. Mary and Joyce were going over menus. “Your daughter’s not taking my calls.”
Just then Mary’s cell phone pinged. She grabbed her phone from her dress pocket. “Text message from Audra.” She frowned. “It’s one of those auto things that must be going to a lot of people.” Her frown deepened. “She’s going out of town. To St. Thomas?”
“Great. My son is sobbing for her, and she’s going to play swimsuit model in the tropics.”
He stormed out of the room and back to the nursery. To his surprise Joshua was sleeping soundly. Belle, the sixty-something Southern-belle temporary nanny, smiled. “I have a way with babies.”
“Right. Or maybe he just settled down because I left the room.” He ran his hand along the back of his neck.
“Don’t think like that, sugar. He’s just cranky this morning, and I managed to get him to sleep. So why don’t you just go get some work done. I’m fine here.”
He sucked in a breath. “Okay.”
He left the nursery and walked to the den, where he intended to make a few calls, but as soon as he stepped into the room, he thought of Audra, because it was in this room that he’d planned their big dinner date.
He hadn’t staffed it out as he usually did. No. He’d planned it himself. Every damned detail—for all the good it had done him.
He frowned. He hadn’t done it for himself. Or to make points. He’d done it for her. He’d wanted to make her happy.
For all the good that had done him.
His frown deepened. Why did he keep doing that? Relating everything back to himself? He’d wanted to make Aud
ra happy for her. Not for himself. He wasn’t selfish when it came to her. Not really. He liked having her around, but he also loved pleasing her. It always seemed to him that nobody ever went out of their way to please her. But to him, buying her things, teasing her, including her in his life had been fun. Even the smallest gesture had been a wonderful surprise to her.
She had been very easy to please. Except for one big thing. She wanted him to marry her. And he didn’t want to marry anybody.
The events of Monday morning were pretty much the same as Sunday’s. Joshua awoke screaming. Dominic and Belle soothed the baby somewhat but not completely. One of them had to pace the floor with him all morning.
When Joshua finally lay down for a nap, Belle also decided to take a nap, and Dominic went to his den to work.
When he finished, he returned to the nursery. Joshua, though not screaming, was still fussy despite being with cuddly Belle, who appeared to be the kind of person who could charm birds from the trees. Still, her magic wasn’t working on Joshua that morning.
“I have an idea,” Dominic said, taking the baby from Belle. “The first nanny we had—” Merely thinking of Audra made his throat close. Yesterday he’d been angry, today he was sad. He missed Audra so damned much he couldn’t even say her name, couldn’t think about her without an avalanche of misery falling on him. “Anyway, she had a CD made of Joshua’s parents.” Though he knew Joshua missed Audra, Dominic also realized it was counterproductive to bring her back to soothe him. She wouldn’t be in Joshua’s life permanently. When she returned from the tropics, if he coerced her into visiting to spend time with the baby, Joshua would go through withdrawal again.
And so would he.
“I’m going to take him to the entertainment room and let his parents soothe him.”
Belle smiled warmly. “That’s a great idea.”
Dominic headed for the door, but he stopped suddenly. “You wouldn’t happen to want this job permanently would you?”
“I sort of have a full-time job. I’m just here to help a friend.”
“But it’s Tuesday.”
Belle laughed. “I have a very flexible employer, so I can do this.”
“Story of my life. Am I ever going to find a nanny who actually wants the job?”
He walked the baby to the entertainment room and, still holding Joshua, rifled through the CDs one-handed. Finally he found one they hadn’t viewed the week before and he popped it into the CD drive.
Peter and Marsha suddenly appeared on the large screen. Dominic took a seat, settling Joshua on his lap. As soon as they sat, Joshua began to fuss.
“Shh. Look. There’s your mom and dad.”
Joshua screeched his unhappiness.
“Just give it a chance,” Dominic said, growing impatient. Having control of nothing in his life was beginning to wear on him. He could think of a thousand women who would kill to go out with him while the one woman he wanted to be with didn’t want to go out with him. Why? Because he wouldn’t marry her. They hardly knew each other. Hadn’t really dated. Hadn’t slept together. Yet he was supposed to know he wanted to marry her?
It made no sense.
“Happy anniversary—” Peter’s singsong voice drifted into the room.
Dressed in a pair of casual shorts and a sloppy T-shirt, Marsha turned to face Peter. “Happy anniversary? Anniversary of what?”
“We’ve been dating three weeks now.”
Dominic lowered his forehead to his palm. Good God, his brother really had been a sap. Dominic was just about to stand to switch CDs, when Joshua began to giggle. This time when he screeched, it was a happy screech.
“Oh, you like that, huh?”
Joshua laughed.
“Come on, Marsha. Open your gift.”
Marsha sighed. Dominic laughed. He’d never realized it before but Marsha was a lot like Audra. Prim and proper and logical. Peter had been the first guy to really get her to come out of her shell. He’d romanced her until she had become accustomed to having him around and she’d stopped thinking so much.
Dominic snorted a laugh. He’d tried romancing Audra, but though she’d loved the pajamas he’d bought her, she hadn’t loved their romantic dinner.
He frowned. That wasn’t true, either. That night had been perfect. She’d been so darned happy. And, if he remembered correctly, she hadn’t wanted to leave the dance floor. She’d wanted to say in his arms.
She’d wanted to stay in his arms.
As Joshua giggled at the people on the screen, Dominic closed his eyes for a second and savored the memory of just holding Audra. He remembered feeling as if there was nobody else in the world. He remembered how happy he’d been.
Eyes closed, he let himself savor the memory, because he wasn’t sure he’d ever feel that way about anyone else again.
His eyes popped open.
He couldn’t see himself feeling this way about anybody again because he wouldn’t feel that way about anyone else again!
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE next morning Dominic walked up to the door of the townhouse for Wedding Belles. The April sun warmed him, but that didn’t help the jittery feeling in his stomach. He took a breath. He had to do this.
He opened the door, and a bright-eyed, strawberry-blonde greeted him. “Welcome to Wedding Belles,” she said as if she were surprised to see him. “I take it you’re someone’s groom?”
He swallowed. “No. I’m here to see Audra Greene.”
“Oh, my gosh! You’re one of those nasty IRS people she’s so terrified of, aren’t you?”
Dominic laughed. “No.”
Another blonde came barreling into the small foyer—which Dominic now realized served as the reception area for the business. Holding a huge bouquet of flowers, she blew her bangs out of her eyes.
“Julie, I…” Noticing Dominic, she paused. “Who is this?”
“Someone to see Audra.”
The blonde smiled craftily. “Oh, really.” She stretched out her hand. “I’m Callie. Audra’s best friend. What can I do for you?”
“Is she here?”
“Yes.”
“Then you can show me to her office.”
Callie’s smile widened. “My pleasure.”
From the eager expression on her face, Dominic expected to be grilled as they walked down the hall and up a long stairway. But she didn’t say a word—though a woman with pins in her mouth and another holding a cake peered out of open doors as if he were a specimen on exhibit.
Enormously relieved when he and Callie stopped at a closed door, Dominic blew his breath out on a sigh.
Callie laughed. “I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what’s going on between you and Audra, but good luck. She’s in a mood.”
And he was at fault.
And he was potentially about to make things worse.
“I don’t know how anybody can come back from the tropics angry, but somehow our Audra managed it.” Callie opened the door.
Framed by butter-yellow curtains, Audra sat behind a huge desk that dominated the room. When she saw him, her eyes widened with pleasure, but that expression was quickly replaced by wariness.
“What do you want?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“I think we’ve said everything we had to say to each other at your house the other night.”
“At the time so did I. But being without you hasn’t been easy. Joshua—”
Her expression changed to one of fear. “Is Joshua okay?”
“He’s fine, but—”
“But you don’t want to have to spend so much time with him.” The disappointment in her voice cut to Dominic’s heart and angered him.
“You knew I was turning into a very good father when you left. Nothing’s changed.”
Audra sagged with relief. “I’m glad.”
Expecting an argument, Dominic was at a loss for words. For a few seconds silence reigned.
Audra took a long, deep breath. “So why are yo
u here?”
For all the planning Dominic had done in the car, words failed him. His heart hurt. He was tired. But more than that, he felt empty. How did a person explain that to someone whom he’d hurt? Why should she care?
He glanced at Callie. “Any possibility we can have some privacy?”
“Hey, Audra may think we’re all oblivious to her because her work doesn’t interact with ours, but we’ve all seen that she had another broken heart. If you’re here to hurt her, I’m not going to stand for it. I’m probably going to sock you.”
Dominic couldn’t help it; he laughed. Audra bristled. “Callie, I can fight my own battles.”
Dominic knew that for a fact. “Trust me. She holds her own with me.” He turned and caught Audra’s gaze. “And it’s not my intention to hurt her.”
Audra faced Callie. “Give us a minute.”
“But—”
“Out.”
Callie huffed a breath and marched to the door.
Audra said, “Close that behind you.”
Callie huffed again, but closed the door as she left.
Audra decided not to say a word. He’d broken her heart, worse than David had. Her pain after being left at the altar had more to do with humiliation than missing David. Dominic’s heartbreak had been private, so her tears were from the loss of him. His love. Everything they could have been together. She didn’t think it was possible for a body and soul to ache, but hers had. Now he was here. Looking breathtakingly handsome. Strong. Smart. Capable. Cute. She couldn’t fault herself for falling for him—except she’d known better. Yet she’d followed him one step at a time until she was so in love with him that it was a physical feeling. Then he’d brought her crashing back to earth, and once again she was picking up the pieces of her life because another man might like her, might see the benefit of having her around, but he didn’t love her.
And as illogical as it was—because she wasn’t even entirely sure it existed anymore—she wanted that total, all-encompassing devotion. She wanted somebody to love her.
“I came to tell you that I am sorry.”
“Sorry?”
“I know I hurt you—”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m an adult who knew exactly the kind of man you are. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
