by Kamy Chetty
He nodded and then called her closer. “I want you to place your hands on either side of his head.”
Ash looked around the room, all the nurses and registrars were busy with their tasks and his choices were limited. “You want me to stabilise his spine?”
Kieran cocked his head. Was he impressed? He shouldn’t be. Or at least he wouldn’t be when he found out that she failed her test and had to go back to her aunt.
“Yes, I want you to place both hands on either side of his head so I can examine him.” He waited for her to take her place at the head of the table before continuing, “I don’t want to cause any further damage to his spine until we can do the x-rays and rule out fractures.”
Lee tried to turn his head. “Am I going to be paralysed? Is that why I can’t feel my legs?”
Ash struggled to keep him from moving and she turned to Kieran who called for more staff. “Lee, we don’t know what the damage is right now. You hit the windscreen with force and you have a lot of facial injuries.”
Lee’s hand went up and he tried to get Ash to remove her hands so he could lift himself off the bed. “I have this tingling sensation in my legs, let me stand up.”
Ash placed her hands firmly on his face and tried to focus his attention on her. “Lee, listen to me. If you try and move, you could cause yourself more harm. Listen to the doctor. He knows what he is talking about. Everyone is here to help you.”
He writhed in the bed and Ash placed her hand on his chest.
“You don’t understand,” he said. “I was going out to get diapers for the baby. My wife is waiting for the diapers. We’d run out and she’s waiting for me. I had come back from a night shift and―”
Failing a test failed in comparison to what this man was going through. Her throat closed so tight that it hurt to move air in and out. She leaned closer to Lee. “You have to do this for your wife and your child. Let us get you sorted and then we can call your wife and let her know what’s happening.”
He stopped moving and focused on her. “But she’s waiting.”
Ash nodded. “I’ll call her as soon as I’m done here. If we don’t fix you―”
She knew she didn’t need to finish her sentence. He nodded and let them finish their examination.
An hour later she was nursing a cup of coffee outside the hospital, when she heard that familiar voice whisper in her ear.
“I missed you this morning. I was hoping we’d have coffee together, in bed.” He came and stood next to her.
Even standing next to him made her body go into a state of ecstasy. “How would you have arranged that?”
He leaned over the park rail and looked out onto the view of the grounds ahead. “I bought one of those coffee machines.”
Ash watched as an old couple walked hand in hand towards the bench not far ahead. “A coffee machine? Why would you do that?”
“Someone gave me an addiction to coffee,” he said.
Those were much simpler times. When she was a waitress or a pretend wife. When she was an ex-beauty queen and didn’t have any dreams of her own. When she didn’t want or need anything that she could fail at. “Why did you come here, to New Zealand? Surely not for the coffee.”
Kieran’s gaze focused on the couple that were now sitting on the bench. “I think you know why.”
Ash turned to him and lifted her chin until she was almost nose-to-nose with him. “So why me?”
He shook his head. “I don’t understand. That is not a question. What do you mean, why you?”
He didn’t know why he wanted her. He didn’t know her. But how could she expect him to when she didn’t know herself. Everything inside her hurt but he couldn’t understand that. It was always so easy for him. “I’m leaving. I made a promise to go back if things didn’t work out here.”
He laughed. “What are you talking about? You are one of the brightest students I have met. Things are working out perfectly. Promise to whom?”
Ash watched the family play in the park and she sighed. Life was so much simpler in this place. Not so rushed, everyone acted and reacted differently. No wonder Miss Zealand was the way she was. Ash had never understood that about her then, but now she did.
India was like a different time zone to this place. The two cities were on two different lanes of life. One was the fast lane and the other on the slow lane. What if she’d been born here, what if there was no such thing as arranged marriage or duty to family?
“Ash, answer me? Promise to whom?” he clutched her shoulders and forced her gaze to meet his.
He was going to find out either way. She knew this was history doing a turnabout. “My aunt gave me six months to try and make this dream of mine work. She helped by financing the trip to come here for a new start.”
He let her go as if he knew the rest of the story. “So if this didn’t work, you’re to go back and pick up where you left off?”
Did he have to make it sound so dirty? “It’s not as bad as it sounds. She has been very supportive. She has been there for me all of my life. The only person who has ever been there for me.”
He shook his head and she saw his knuckles turn white as he tightened his hold on the rail. “Really? Have you ever asked yourself what she gets out of this?”
How dare he suggest that? “She gets nothing except maybe our family’s reputation back.”
His raised eyebrow made her feel uncomfortable. “Tell me you’re not suggesting that Didi is selling me to the highest bidder?”
His gaze went dark. “I’m asking you to give me a chance. Don’t go back. Stay with me. We can make a life together.”
“You don’t get it, do you?” How could he not? She cupped her hand at the back of her neck. “She’s all I have. All I have ever had. Through everything she’s been there for me and I made her a promise. I have to keep it. I tried to make this work and it failed. This is my destiny. It’s written in the stars.”
Kieran’s jaw clamped down. “You’re kidding me right? Tell me your destiny is not to spend a lifetime with a man you don’t love? Tell me the stars don’t have a lifetime of living someone else’s life in store for you?” He stepped towards her and placed his hands on her arms.
She pulled away from him. Couldn’t he see how much this hurt? “You know how it works. It’s our way. We make it work. My mother fought her destiny and look how well that turned out for her.” She turned away from him. It was wrong to see all that hurt in his eyes.
“What about us? What do the stars say about us? Did we ever stand a chance?” He waited for her answer.
When she turned to answer him, he was gone and she was left looking at an empty space.
*****
“How is that mehndi coming along?” Sushi asked as she sat down beside her.
Ash looked down at the intricate design on her hands and shrugged. “It’s okay, but it takes a long time to dry.”
Her aunt’s glance was caustic. “Ash, this wedding is going to be the best New Delhi has seen in a long time, the least you can do is appreciate the effort I am making.”
She did appreciate the effort, but she would have been happy getting married in a sack at the local temple. Not that Alok would have noticed. “Are you sure you told Alok I don’t want to wear all that jewellery?”
Another malignant look and Ash was forced to leave well enough alone. The wedding was beginning to be more of a gala event then a simple wedding and she was sure that even Alok would not want this much attention on his special day. Her aunt was out of control and unfortunately she was using the excuse of this being the only wedding she would be planning to spin out of control.
“Ash, there are several saris and outfits that have arrived. I have chosen a few select designs that will suit you. You can see if you like these,” her aunt pointed to the end of the room.
The dull ache in her head was becoming more pronounced. “I didn’t want a big wedding.” In fact she didn’t want a wedding at all. “Why are you doing this Didi?”
/> “This is a dream come true. How can you not see that? This will give us everything we have ever wanted.” Her gaze was so focused on Ash that she was looking but not seeing.
“Us? This will give us what we’ve always wanted?” Was Kieran right? She hadn’t wanted any of this.
Sushi shook her head and smiled. “You. I’ve done everything for you, always. You know that. Once you marry Alok, your future will be set and I can move on with my life too.”
“Didi, have I been holding you back? Have you not married because of me?” Maybe she was looking at this all wrong.
Sushi went to the outfits at the end of the room and picked one up. It was a beautiful pink sequenced gown. Ash had to wonder if her aunt had put her life on hold for her.
“No Ash. I don’t blame you.” She let the linen slip through her fingers. “I do want you to marry Alok because he can give you a life I never had.”
The mehndi on her hands would take hours to dry. She blew gently on the design. “Is that enough Didi? Doesn’t love come into the equation sometimes?”
Sushi’s gaze narrowed. “Like your mother who chose love and paid for it?” Was her aunt bitter over her mother’s choice?
They had never spoken of it. It had always been a sore subject. “You never talk about Mama and how you felt about her leaving.”
“Your mother was the Rani of our house. The princess, so when she chose your father over her arranged partner, she should have been banished.” Sushi flung the gown on the bed and walked towards Ash. “That’s what should have happened. She should have left home. My father should have disowned her.”
“Didi, you don’t mean that?” All these years, and she hadn’t realised that her aunt lived with this hate inside her.
“She was not a perfect princess, she should have left. Even my mother thought she should.” Sushi stopped in front of her. “You have her eyes. Those eyes that all men fall for.”
She remembered her mother’s eyes. Sometimes when she passed a mirror she’d see her mother gaze back. “She fell in love, you can’t blame her for that. She chose love over an arrangement.”
“She ruined it for all of us.” Her lips thinned and she sat next to Ash. “When you break an arranged marriage, when a female breaks an arranged marriage for another man, it’s a huge embarrassment for the family.”
Ash felt a piercing pain in her chest. She’d started this awful journey and was going to do exactly what her mother did. “So what happened?”
“Papa lost a lot of money. He went bankrupt. No one wanted to do business with him. They didn’t trust his word anymore.” Sushi’s gaze went to the photo of her parent’s that hung in the room. “I wish they were still here.”
“I’m sorry.” She placed her elbow on her aunt’s shoulder and was surprised when she shrugged it off.
“I don’t need your pity.” She got up and went to the window. “I need you to keep your word so history doesn’t repeat itself.”
*****
“How long have you had a fever?” Kieran noticed the rapid increase in breathing as soon as the young man walked in the consulting room. He didn’t like the flushed red cheeks or the increased heart rate that accompanied the symptoms.
“Since last night,” the man said.
His gaze swept past his father’s clock and went to the tongue depressors that were in a cup holder at the edge of the desk. The very desk he once had to move Ash off. He pushed the memory into the farthest corner of his mind and focused on his patient. After making sure it wasn’t a sore throat he started his examination.
“I cut myself a few days ago. It wasn’t deep, so I’ve been bandaging it myself. It hurts every so often.” The man lifted up his left hand.
Kieran unwrapped the bandage. “This cut has become infected. We are going to have to wash this out and we might have to cut out some of that dead tissue.”
The patient went a little pale at the mention of cut. “I don’t like needles.”
Why he was suddenly wishing Ash were here, was beyond him. But he had to admit that she did have a way with patients and calming them down when their world was spinning out of control. “I don’t suppose your tetanus is up to date?”
He stared at him blankly. Kieran gave him a reassuring smile. “We need to sort this cut out or you could lose your arm.” It wasn’t as poetic as Ash would have made it sound, but hopefully it got his point across.
An hour later he was sitting across from Latha trying very hard to ignore her.
“So you’re still avoiding my questions. Why exactly are you here?” she asked as she sipped her coffee.
He watched her over his mug and sighed. It had been a week since he came back, hoping that being here close to family would take away this ache inside him but everywhere he looked reminded him of that green-eyed beauty that he couldn’t stop dreaming of.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” He looked down at the journal article he was reading and realised he was still reading the first paragraph and nothing was making sense.
Latha sighed and then threw a white and gold card on the table. “I take it this has nothing to do with it?”
His gaze went to the fancy invite on the table and his heart dropped to his belly. So it was happening. He knew it was going to, but he didn’t think she would actually go through with it. The card was expensive and his hands itched to open it. To confirm once and for all if it was really going to happen.
He knew Latha was watching his every move. Like he was some sort of prey that she was waiting to catch. “Did I ever tell you that men are fools?”
His glazed look didn’t even touch her. “More than once.”
He reached to take the card from the table but she beat him to it and started reading the details.
The wedding was in two days.
Two days. What could he do in two days?
Latha kicked him in the shin. “Did Johnny ever tell you how many times he had to ask me to marry him before I said yes?”
Why was she even talking about this? “You two were meant for each other. You would have said yes before he asked.”
She laughed and had that distant look of longing in her eyes. The one he sometimes saw in Ash’s.
“Johnny’s problem was he was always so sure I would say yes, that he never made an effort. He assumed it would all fall into place.” She leaned over and placed her cup on the table.
There it was again, woman who never made sense. “I don’t understand.”
“Why do you love her?” She watched him intently.
The room became stuffy and smaller. He pulled at his collar and his gaze went to the air conditioning unit. Was it switched on? Why was Latha asking him such a question?
He knew why he loved Ash. There were a million different reasons and he could recite every one of them. But not here, not now. Not with another woman.
Latha ran her finger over the rim of the coffee mug. “Did you ever tell her you loved her or why?”
He shrugged. “She knows. I love her more than anything in this world and I will do anything and everything not to lose her.” Again, could she stop with the questions?
“Those are just words. Words are something anyone can say.” She reached out and took his hand. “In this world, words mean nothing. You and I both know how short life can be. You need to do something more.”
Kieran shook his head. “It’s you who doesn’t understand. She didn’t choose me. She chose him. Or was it the stars that chose. I don’t know. All I know is that this hurts like hell.” And I don’t want to discuss it with you. His chin dropped.
She shrugged. “Then you’re both fools.”
Chapter Thirteen
“You want to what?” Rohan looked from one to the other as his body shook with laughter.
Latha punched him in the arm and then pulled back and shook her hand. “What do you have under your clothes? Rocks?”
Rohan dismissed her with his superior glance and focused on Kieran. “Mate, I know we go wa
y back, but kidnapping?”
Kieran knew he sounded like a lunatic, even to his own ears it sounded wrong. He was out of ideas and he knew how stubborn Ash was. Only a whacky idea like this would get her attention and make her see that she was being unreasonable. Maybe it wouldn’t but at least it would give him time to think of another plan. “I will take full responsibility.”
“Jail time?” Rohan raised an eyebrow.
He was hoping it wouldn’t come to that. If she’d listen to him then he wouldn’t have to worry about anything. He’d tried but her aunt refused to let him speak to her. All he needed was to reason with her. All the letters and flowers he sent to her came back to him. “I’m out of options.”
Latha came between them. “I don’t think it will come to that. I know she likes him. I don’t know what she sees in him, but I know he can stop this wedding. He needs a chance to talk to her.”
He elbowed Latha out of the way. “Thanks for the vote of confidence. I have this bad feeling her aunt is keeping her prisoner until the wedding. She isn’t answering her phone and I’ve spoken to her friends from nursing school. A week ago, she stopped all contact with them.”
Rohan shrugged. “I’m going to be the first to tell you this. You sound desperate. It could be she’s busy preparing for her wedding. Did you see that show called Bridezillas? Mate, those women are screwed up.” He opened the local newspaper and showed him the article on the upcoming wedding. “This is said to be quite an event. She would be planning the wedding of her dreams.”
Kieran shook his head. “I don’t buy it. Alok doesn’t like a lot of people around or lots of fuss.”
Latha placed her hands on her hips. “Now you’re friends with the bridegroom? I am finding it hard to keep up.”
His fingers curled into fists at his side. “Something is not right here. Ash wouldn’t want a wedding this big.”
Latha shoved her hands into her hair. “Are you saying that she wouldn’t want a fairy tale wedding? Every girl wants a wedding like a princess.”
