by Max Shulman
“Now, just one minute!” said Boo, bristling.
“No, not one minute,” replied Virgil firmly. “Not one second. I love you, I want to marry you, I will make you happy, I will cherish your children. What I will not do is stand and discuss terms with somebody who’s in no position to make a deal. The justice of the peace closes in half an hour. Come, Leda, let us fly.”
“Yes, dear,” she said.
Now, last of all, Gabriel.
His suffering was sharp and constant for several weeks. Waking and sleeping, he agonized over Polly Shapian until he thought he must go mad. Then, quite by accident, one day in physics lab he noted that the girl at the next table had built a microphone smaller by two-thirds than anything he had ever attempted.
Love, joyous love, smote Gabriel instantly, though, it must be admitted, the girl was less than attractive. She had, for example, two goodly warts and spoke nothing but Finnish. Still, she did build beautiful little microphones, and her love for Gabriel arrived as quickly and fiercely as his for her.
They will be married come June.
About the Author
Max Shulman (1919–1988) was an American novelist, playwright, screenwriter, and short story writer best known as the author of Rally Round the Flag, Boys! (1957), The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis (1951), and the popular television series of the same name. The son of Russian immigrants, Shulman was born in St. Paul, Minnesota, and attended the University of Minnesota, where he wrote a celebrated column for the campus newspaper and edited the humor magazine. His bestselling debut novel, Barefoot Boy with Cheek (1943), was followed by two books written while he served in the Army during World War II: The Feather Merchants (1944) and The Zebra Derby (1946). The Tender Trap (1954), a Broadway play co-written with Robert Paul Smith, was adapted into a movie starring Frank Sinatra and Debbie Reynolds. His acclaimed novel Rally Round the Flag, Boys! became a film starring Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. Shulman’s other books include Sleep till Noon (1950), a hilarious reinvention of the rags-to-riches tale; I Was a Teenage Dwarf (1959), which chronicles the further adventures of Dobie Gillis; Anyone Got a Match? (1964), a prescient satire of the tobacco, television, and food industries; and Potatoes Are Cheaper (1971), the tale of a romantic Jewish college student in depression-era St. Paul. His movies include The Affairs of Dobie Gillis (with Debbie Reynolds and Bob Fosse) and House Calls (with Walter Mathau and Glenda Jackson). One of America’s premier humorists, he greatly influenced the comedy of Woody Allen and Bob Newhart, among many others.
All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this ebook or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 1964 by Max Shulman
Cover design by Mauricio Díaz
ISBN: 978-1-5040-2785-4
This edition published in 2016 by Open Road Integrated Media, Inc.
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