“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about,” Otis said. He looked away and pretended to write something on a notepad. Kim could tell he was nervous.
“I’m gonna just give it to you straight before you dig yourself into a ditch of lies. I overheard a telephone conversation between the two of them, and your name was specifically mentioned as knowing the truth, whatever that may be.” Kim lifted her hands and simulated quotation marks around the word truth as she said it.
Otis laid down his pen and looked directly at her. He had had nothing to do with what had happened, but he carried the burden of knowing too much. “I am not the one you should be talking to about this. If you want to know what’s going on, your grandmother would be the best person to speak with.”
“She’s not going to tell me anything. That’s why I came to you.”
Otis shook his head. “I don’t want to get in the middle.”
“Dang it, Otis!” Kim responded. “Something serious is happening and I think I deserve to know, especially since my mother is involved somehow and so is my grandfather, whom I never got to meet because he killed himself. According to the phone conversation I overhead, my grandmother thinks that your uncle was responsible.”
“That’s not true!” Otis snapped. “That’s not true at all.”
“Then tell me what is true.”
“I can’t. . . . I don’t want to cause trouble.”
“Funny, that’s the same thing your uncle said.” Kim got up from the chair. “Too late. The trouble has already been started. I’m gonna tell my mother the little bit that I do know. She’ll get to the bottom of this. I guarantee that if Mr. Wallace is responsible for my grandfather’s death . . .” Kim was so angry that she didn’t know how to finish her sentence. What could her family do if Harold had killed Marlene’s father? It was over forty years ago and the death was ruled a suicide.
“You’re way off base.”
“Whatever. I’m out. Just tell your uncle to prepare himself to face murder charges.”
“Kim, sit down,” Otis requested.
She ignored him and walked toward the door.
“Sit down!”Otis said with more authority in his voice.
Kim turned around and looked at him. Who does he think he is raising his voice at? She didn’t speak her thoughts out loud, though. Instead, she slowly took a seat in the chair.
Chapter Thirty-Two
When Darkness Comes to Light
KIM HAD A PLETHORA OF EMOTIONS running through her mind. She left Otis’s office in a rage and couldn’t wait to get back to her parents’ house. Like Otis, she was now burdened with the truth. There’s no way I can tell Mama. I can’t even tell Daddy. Telling Michael would be like telling Marlene. The two of them shared everything. He wouldn’t be able to hold his peace, especially with Frances living in their home. Wendy is too emotionally unstable right now to handle this. Kim started to call Terrance but stopped herself. Never mind; I’ll wait. She had a feeling that he would try to talk her out of going to see Frances. She wasn’t in the mood to hear that. Even if she had to carry this information to her grave, she wouldn’t do so without telling her grandmother exactly how she felt.
She pulled into the driveway so fast that she almost ran the car into her parents’ garage. The seat belt hugged her chest and prevented her from bouncing forward as the car came to an abrupt stop. She jumped out of the car and burst through the front door. Frances was sitting in the living room watching TV.
“Your ma—” Frances was starting to say, but Kim interrupted her.
“Well, well, well . . . if it ain’t Miss Lie About My Baby’s Daddy.” Kim leaned her right shoulder against the wall with her arms folded, glaring at Frances, who looked uneasy. “Yeah that’s right—I know. I know everything.”
“Kim . . .” Frances began to say.
“Don’t Kim me!” she yelled. This was it. She was at her breaking point. Like an atomic bomb, Kim was about to explode. “You are the most hypocritical person I have ever known in my entire life. Unfortunately for me, you happen to be my grandmother.”
The remote control tumbled out of Frances’s hands and onto the floor. The television show she had been watching was drowned out by the piercing sound of Kim’s voice.
“A grandmother who made me feel like crap both times I got pregnant.” Tears formed in Kim’s eyes as those hurt feelings resurfaced. A year ago, she would have used a more vivid word to describe her feelings. Now she tried hard to keep her language clean despite the fact that profane words ran through her head. Somehow, she managed to filter them before they came out of her mouth. “When Terrance and I moved in together, you made it your business to continuously remind me that we weren’t married.” Kim wiped the tears from her eyes. “All the while you were no better than me. In fact, you’re a lot worse.”
Frances stared blankly at her without saying a word. Goose bumps spread over her flesh, and she knew there would be no way to stop her granddaughter from speaking, although she desperately wanted to.
“You are responsible for my grandfather’s death! Oh, that’s right—Frank Gibson wasn’t really my grandfather, was he?” Kim asked sarcastically. “Harold Wallace is.”
Frances’s heart sank.
“You remember him, don’t you? The handsome young soldier you met and didn’t tell that you were married. The same man you became pregnant by. The same man who didn’t know that you were his army buddy’s wife until the day he saw you and Granddad together.” According to the story Otis had been told and had repeated to Kim, Frances was a few months pregnant by the time Harold saw her with Frank. He later questioned her about the child. However, Frances swore that the baby was her husband’s. Even though he still speculated about being the child’s father, Harold kept quiet about the affair because of his friendship with Frank, and unselfishly put his suspicions aside. “For years Mr. Wallace watched his daughter call another man daddy because you lied to everyone about who Mama’s father was.” Kim’s voice grew louder with each sentence.
Frances closed her eyes, as she too was crying.
“Please spare me the tears,” Kim barked after noticing Frances’s emotions. “I’m sure you played the grieving widow at my granddaddy’s funeral when technically you might as well have pulled the trigger.” She wiped her face again. “Mama never knew why her daddy went into a depression, but you did. He found out. Somehow he found out that he couldn’t have children.”
Frances held up her hand as an indication that she had heard enough. However, Kim continued speaking. “My grandfather confided in Mr. Wallace, who, by that time, was one of his best friends and Mama’s godfather. From what I understand, Mr. Wallace came to you and said that he wanted to tell Granddad about the affair, but you refused to hear of it. Sadly, you even threatened to tell Granddad that Mr. Wallace raped you. Neither of you knew that my grandfather overheard your conversation until the next day when he killed himself.”
Frances closed her eyes even tighter as she visualized the night she’d seen her husband’s dead body spread out on the wooden bedroom floor. Luckily Marlene had stayed over at a friend’s house that night. It had been raining when Frances got home from work. In those days she worked as a maid cleaning houses for wealthy Columbus families. It wasn’t a job Frances enjoyed, but her bosses paid her a fairly decent salary so she tolerated it. Plus Frank hadn’t been able to keep a steady job for a while due to his drinking habit.
134 Oak Street was where the Gibsons lived. Frances had walked into the small brick eight-hundred-square-foot home expecting to find the usual: her husband sprawled out on the couch after having one too many beers. When she pulled up to the house, it was pitch black like no one was home, even though Frank’s rusty blue pickup sat in the driveway. She got out of the car and ran to the front door because she had forgotten her umbrella. “Frank?”she had called out once inside, but there was no answer. Someone must have come to pick him up. Ain’t no tellin’ when he’ll be home. Frances had flipped o
n the light, taken off her coat, and gone upstairs to get out of her wet clothes.
She had opened the bedroom door and seen Frank Gibson lying in a pool of blood. Frances screamed as she knelt down beside her husband’s lifeless body. Next to it was a suicide note.
Frances:
I have known for a while that I couldn’t have children. Yet, there was a precious little girl living under my roof that called me daddy whom I loved with all of my heart. I wanted to confront you, but I didn’t have the emotional strength to do it. All I knew was that my world had been turned upside down. I was angry and I hated you. Even though she didn’t carry my blood, I still loved Marlene. I STILL LOVE MARLENE.
How ironic . . . of all the people in the world, it had to be Harold. He should have told me about y’all . . . you should have told me about y’all . . . somebody should have told me! How many other affairs have there been, Frances? I guess I’ll never know the answer to that one. I do know that you had at least one affair. . . . Marlene is proof of that.
Embarrassed by the contents of the letter, a distraught Frances had confiscated it before authorities arrived. She had blamed Frank’s death on Harold and sent Marlene away to Tennessee. Consequently, Harold never saw Marlene again.
Kim continued snapping at her grandmother, “I used to feel bad for not liking you. But now I realize that I have every reason to hate you. You’re lucky that I love my mother more than I hate you. Because of that, I will never tell her about Mr. Wallace. But also know that I will never forgive you. It’s too bad Granddaddy didn’t take you with him.” Kim spun around so fast that her purse knocked over one of Marlene’s knickknacks and it fell to the floor and broke. It was a ceramic sculpture of a young African boy playing the drums. Frances opened her eyes to see what had happened. Kim didn’t want to stay in the presence of that woman any longer than need be, so she wasn’t going to take the time to pick it up. “I’m sure you’ll think of something to tell Mama about that,” she said, referring to the broken item. “You’re good at lying,” she snorted before storming out of the door.
As soon as Kim was gone, Marlene appeared in the kitchen doorway. Frances sat paralyzed as their gazes met.
“Mama, please tell me none of that is true,” Marlene pleaded as a flood of tears poured down her face. “Tell me you didn’t let me live a lie for fifty-two years!” she yelled. Kim hadn’t been aware that her parents’ meeting had let out early that day. Michael had brought his wife home, then gone out again. Marlene had been there the entire time and had heard every word that was said.
Frances couldn’t bear looking at Marlene’s horrified expression. Though she wished she could, Frances Eileen Gibson could not deny the accusations against her. She was speechless. She remembered how her mother used to say “Be mindful of what you do. Everything that’s done in darkness will eventually come to light.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Romans 8:28
MAMA, I AM SO SORRY!” Kim apologized to Marlene for the hundredth time. It was Saturday afternoon and Kim was helping her mother pack some things in Frances’s room.
“Would you stop it? I told you I’m not mad at you.” Marlene held up her hand to simulate a stop sign. All of Kim’s apologizing was starting to get on her nerves.
“I know, I just feel so bad,” Kim admitted. The day after she had found out about Harold being her grandfather, Michael had come by her place to tell her that he had moved Frances back into the senior center. Kim’s first thought was Good, until Michael informed her that Marlene had heard the things she’d said to Frances. That had been several weeks ago now, and Kim had been apologizing ever since.
“What’s done is done. No one can undo the past. We have to pick up the pieces and move on.”
“Okay, but I’m still sorry.”
“Kim!” Marlene stopped what she was doing and widened her eyes as she looked at her daughter.
“I won’t say it anymore.”
“Thank you.” Marlene returned to boxing Frances’s books. Michael was going to take the rest of her belongings to the senior center that evening when he got home. The day Frances had left she’d shoved whatever would fit into her duffel bag. Everything else was left in her room until this week, when Marlene had finally had the emotional strength to pack it up. Although she hadn’t made her way to the center yet, Marlene had had a few brief conversations with her mother.
“Mama, I have to admit you’re taking all of this much better than I thought you would. When Daddy told me that you were here that day, I was so worried about you.”
“Yeah. I’ve had some rough days, but I thank the Lord that each day is easier than the day before. I try not to focus on the pain. I’m asking God what He wants me to learn from all of this.” Marlene looked down and shook her head. “There’s no need to worry, baby. Everything you see me handling is a result of the God in me. It’s not me. The pain is still very raw, but Pastor Jones has been helping me work through it.”
“We did it, Mama.”
“Did what?”
“Terrance and I explained to Tori that he’s not her biological father.” Kim had some notebooks in her hands that belonged to Frances. “Is there room in that box for these?”
“Yeah, hand them here.” Marlene grabbed the items. “So how did she take it?”
“Good, I guess. She had no idea what the word biological meant. We explained it in terms of her not having Terrance’s blood, but having someone named Darius’s blood.”
“Did she ask who Darius was?”
“Yes. We said that Darius was a friend of mine a long time ago. I told her that I didn’t know where he was because he moved away. Terrance made sure to tell her that he is still her father no matter whose blood she carries. She asked him how. She had heard the word stepfather before and asked if that’s what Terrance is.”
“What did y’all say?”
“That technically, Terrance is her stepfather, but he’s really so much more. Terrance stressed how much he loved her and he wanted to be with her. It was hard. I’m glad she didn’t start crying or anything like that ’cuz I’m not sure if I would have been able to handle it. After we talked, she got up and played like nothing had ever happened.”
“Good. That signifies that she was okay. Kids are like that. It’s better that you told her now instead of lying to her all of her life and she finds out later.” Marlene was speaking from her own experience. “You never know, Darius might try to come back into her life.”
“I wouldn’t put it past him after she’s grown and he doesn’t have to assume any responsibility for her. I wish I had never gotten involved with Darius and that Terrance was actually her biological father.”
“You can’t really say that, honey.”
“Why not?”
“Had it not been for Terrance stepping in when Tori was a baby, you and he may have never become involved.”
“Not necessarily.”
“Even if you had, you two might have had a child, but it wouldn’t have been Tori. It’s easy to wish things away, but if things were exactly how we wanted them, then they wouldn’t be how God ordained them to be. Tori is supposed to be here, even if she wasn’t born under ideal circumstances.”
“So what about you? Are you saying that Gramma was right to have an affair?”
“Heavens no! What I do believe is that I was meant to be here. God wouldn’t have allowed her to get pregnant otherwise.” Marlene closed up one box and started folding shirts to put into another one. “Pastor Jones is a prime example of how God ordains lives even if a child is born from an adulterous affair.”
“What does he have to do with this?”
“He can relate to what I’m saying. He was born out of adultery too.”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Yes, he was. His mother actually had an affair with a married man.”
“You can’t be telling the truth.”
“I know you’re not calling me a liar.” Marlene put one hand on her hip and teased her da
ughter. “I am telling the truth.” She returned to folding.
“I never knew that.” Kim paused as though she were letting everything sink in.
“I don’t think many people do. It’s not something he goes around town bragging about. But look at how many lives he’s impacted. Look at how he’s helped me deal with this mess. God had a purpose for his life, and he’s living it out as a pastor. Talking with him has helped me understand my situation. Everything happens for a reason, you know.”
“I believe what you’re saying about Pastor Jones, but I’m not sure if I buy into that everything-happens-for-a-reason philosophy.”
“Why not?”
“Take Wendy’s life, for example. Look at what has happened to her marriage in less than two years. It’s scary. Kevin started out being a prince; now we find out he’s really a frog. I’m still trippin’ over him taking her car. That was just wrong.” On the same day Kim went off on Frances, she had also found out that Kevin had filed for divorce. Wendy called her that night in tears. Until the actual divorce hearing took place, Kevin requested regularly scheduled visitation rights. In addition, he filed for joint custody and petitioned to have her move out of the house. Wendy had been given six months to find a job, a new place to live, and a baby-sitter for Kimberly. She had the right to file for full custody, child and spousal support. However, if she didn’t comply with the other stipulations, Kevin could get temporary custody of Kimberly until the divorce hearing.
The news of Wendy’s divorce hadn’t come as a shock to Marlene, considering what had happened on New Year’s Eve. “Now, now. Kevin is not the only one at fault here. Wendy had no business having Jaylen in that man’s house.”
“True, but—”
“But nothing. You want to take her side because she’s your sister. That’s fine, but right is right and wrong is wrong. A year ago when she found out that Kevin cheated on her, she should have left him then, if that’s what she wanted to do.”
Soul Matters Page 23
