by Lena North
“I wonder who he was sending it too,” Mary said.
“I thought I was his only love,” Wilder snorted, “but he could have had a little lady-love on the side, I guess.”
Hoots echoed around the room at the thought of Willy with an unknown lady his age.
“God, I loved him, though,” Wilder sighed.
“We all did,” Mickey said, and put his arm around her shoulders.
“How are things moving along in Marshes?” Wilder asked suddenly, apparently eager to change the topic.
Our initial tests had indicated that we’d need plenty of water once we got a bit further, mostly due to the methods Kit and I planned to use which seemed to generate more heat than was manageable in the small barrel we’d set up. Out of nowhere, Wilder and Mac had suggested that we’d set up a small lab in Marshes, the secluded village her stepfather had come from. This had been a surprise, and Hawker objected initially, but Wilder knew how to handle him and once we’ve discussed a potential layout and the security system we’d set up he’d reluctantly agreed.
Mac and I had been there, and the elderly Mayor had been happy about the possibility for some of the villagers to do the contracting, so he’d offered us an old house just outside the village that we could rebuild to fit our needs. Once we moved the crystal, I planned to drive the two hours down there a few days a week and do the rest of the work from home or Double H.
“Things are moving along nicely, Wilder,” I replied. “The construction work is mostly done. A few more weeks, maybe a month, and then I’ll go down there and install security. After that, we’ll move the crystal, and I’ll start spending time there instead.”
“I wish we could have done it here,” she said.
“Why?” I asked calmly, holding back all my admittedly excellent arguments for why it made all the sense in the world to be outside Marshes.
“It would be better to have you here, Jinx. You don’t look so good, and I worry about you,” she said hesitantly, and all conversation stilled.
Oh no, I thought. If it had been just the two of us, I might have told Wilder how I was struggling, but having the whole group listening meant that I wasn’t at all willing to discuss.
“No need to worry about me, Wilder. You know I always do well,” I replied with a grin that I hoped didn’t look as fake as it felt.
“You’re still stopping all your work on this, six months from now, even if you haven’t found out how the crystal works?” she asked.
“Four months from now,” I corrected her because we’d spent several weeks on our tests already. “And yes, I have another project that I’ll start on then.”
To my horror, two huge teardrops suddenly hung in her long eyelashes. Crap, I thought, and my belly began to hurt again. I’d been so sure that there only were four more months left before I could leave, but if she started crying in front of everyone, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep saying no.
“Cut it out, Wilder,” Olly suddenly rumbled.
I stared at him, and then I turned to Wilder. The tears were gone, and she made a small face.
“I’m sorry, Jinx. I just really want you to continue working with the crystal,” she said.
It took me a nanosecond to realize that my friend apparently could produce tears anytime she wanted it. Another nanosecond later I figured out that she’d done it deliberately, to make me change my mind.
“You played me,” I said, not putting it as a question but still needing her to confirm it.
“I’m sorry,” she repeated.
I slept less than four hours each night, woke up every morning with my jaws so tightly clenched together it was hard to open my mouth and suspected that I was well on my way to developing an ulcer. And Wilder had played me so that she would get answers about her precious history and the connection she had with the beautiful black hawk she could talk to?
“I thought we were friends,” I said, not bothering to hide the feeling of betrayal in my voice.
She opened her mouth, but I raised my hand.
“I didn’t want to do this, Wilder, you know that. I pushed other things forward, and they were pretty darn important things. At least, they were important to me,” I said, and got to my feet. “You played me to get what you wanted, like a spoiled child. Kit could have headed the analysis, but that wasn’t enough, was it? You wanted what everyone else wants. You wanted a piece of the genius,” I concluded bitterly.
Then I walked out of the room, closing the door calmly and quietly behind me.
I’d stopped taking my bike up to Double H, and that night I was so grateful I only had to walk a few steps to my tiny car, and then I sped down the hill. My phone rang repeatedly, but I ignored it. Luckily the roads were almost empty, and I managed to drive through my anger and the tears that made my eyesight blurry.
“Don’t think about it,” I repeated to myself, over and over, but I couldn’t seem to stop my mind from circling back to what had happened at Double H.
Maybe I wasn’t Wilder’s best friend, but she was mine, and it hurt to realize that she would use me in the same way everyone else tried to do. It didn’t help to know that I’d for once been blindsided. That I had been played like a fool.
When I had to stop and catch my breath the second time, I realized that walking up the stairs had been a stupid thing to do and that I should have taken the elevator instead. I turned the last corner doubled over and retching. Worried that I’d embarrass myself by throwing up on the stairs, I rushed forward, digging frantically in my purse to find the keys. I was caught completely off guard when the door suddenly swung open, and a strong hand pulled me half way into the condo. I screamed loudly as I landed on the floor with a thud, immediately trying to crawl backward, away from whoever was in my home.
“Where is it?” a harsh voice rasped in my ear.
“What,” I gasped, trying to catch my breath.
The man swiftly kicked me in the ribs. I screamed again as a hot, searing pain speared through me and I curled up in a ball, trying to protect my stomach and face.
“Tell me where it is, and I’ll let you live,” the hoarse voice growled.
I whimpered, and he kicked me again. He had dark black boots, black pants and my vision had become blurry with tears, but I saw the yellow line at the top of his blue socks when he raised his foot. It felt as if things were happening in slow motion, and that thin yellow line bothered me, but then he moved his leg to a position where I knew he was about to stomp on my head.
Self-preservation, or maybe fear, kicked in and I started screaming, hoping that one of my neighbors would hear. Even though it hurt to move, I tried to crawl even further backward, knowing that I had to make sure the intruders couldn’t pull the door shut. I didn’t know anyone in the building particularly well, so even if they were to hear me through a closed door, I wasn’t sure if they’d make the effort to break it down to help me. I couldn’t hear if anyone were coming, but I kept yelling desperately because there was nothing else I could do.
“Fuck,” the man muttered. “Let’s go,” he muttered, kicked me one more time and then heavy footsteps disappeared through the door and down the stairs.
I remained on the floor until I was sure there were no sounds. Then I got to my feet, slowly and cautiously, wondering what they’d been looking for, but suspecting that I knew. My ribs burned in a way that meant they would likely be broken, but I focused on digging out my phone and then desperately pressing numbers on the screen, though it was an effort to get my shaking fingers to cooperate. My breaths were just shallow gasps as I waited for what felt like forever for the emergency staff to pick up the goddamn phone.
It took eight minutes for the first bunch of officers to get to my condo and four hours until everyone left again. I felt completely exhausted and found it difficult to keep my eyes open as I sat on the couch watching policemen search through my condo, dusting for prints and making an even bigger mess than the men breaking in had managed to achieve. My phone rang every
now and then, but I ignored it, guessing that it was Wilder and not feeling in the mood to listen to the excuses I was sure she wanted to share with me.
Hawker came just before the officers left.
“What the fuck?” he asked in way of greeting and I turned slowly to look at him.
“Hawker,” I said calmly. “What are you doing here?”
“Someone breaks into my daughter’s best friend’s condo, and I hear it from one of my buddies in Prosper PD?” he barked.
I opened my mouth, but not a word came out.
“Call my girl,” he ordered when I remained silent.
“Wh –”
“Call.”
I wanted to protest, but this was Hawker Johns and genius or not, you didn’t exactly argue with him. At least, you did absolutely not argue with him when he looked like he did right then. When I glanced down at my phone, I saw that I had twenty-three missed calls from Wilder.
“Jinx, just call her. Please,” Hawker said, and his voice had gentled. “She’s worried.”
“Okay,” I said, got to my feet and walked into my bedroom, doing my best to hide how badly my side hurt.
Wilder wanted to come to the condo, wanted me to come to Double H, wanted the whole universe to tilt on its axis and spit out the men who had dared to break into my place, and it took me a good while to calm her down. She asked me to pass the phone over to her father, and he finally managed to put her at ease. When I got the phone back from Hawker, I didn’t even look at it and closed the call without checking if Wilder was still there.
Hawker had brought Kit and Miller, and they swiftly put a couple of huge deadbolts on the inside of my door and told me there would be a locksmith around early the next day to get some proper locks installed. I wondered how on earth they’d make arrangements with a locksmith that late in the evening but decided that questioning their abilities to do so would either piss them off or throw them into lengthy explanations that I wasn’t keen on listening to anyway.
Then everyone left, and I sat on the couch again, looking at the mayhem that was my home. My breath became more and more ragged, so I wrapped my arms around my chest and belly, trying to hold myself together. All I wanted was to leave everything and disappear.
I had almost made up my mind to break my word to Wilder and go to the small house in the mountains that I’d bought six months earlier. At the time, I’d thought that it would be a good place to escape to, located as it was right between Norton and Twin City in a rural area where the houses were few and far between.
Only Mary knew about my cabin, and I hadn’t planned to tell anyone, but I’d run into her in the stupid furniture store of all places. Since she knew there was no way I’d willingly put myself in a mega home store, she pried the truth out of me in no time. I had to argue with her, although less than I’d expected, and then she promised to keep it a secret. She only did so on the condition that I let her furnish and decorate it for me, a deal I’d been more than willing to agree to.
Breaking my promise to Wilder would hurt, but the thought of leaving was so tempting. I’d be left alone there. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much to breathe if I went there.
I gave up a startled yelp when someone suddenly knocked lightly on the door.
Miller was leaning against the wall outside, and I straightened, trying desperately to look cool and composed.
“You don’t like me,” he said.
“No,” I replied, which wasn’t exactly true but seemed appropriate right then.
“I’m not so good with words, and I hurt you. We both did, Hawker and I. We didn’t mean to, but we did. Just wanted to let you know that I know, and I’m sorry,” he murmured.
“Oh,” I whispered, stunned by his apology.
He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and pushed it into my hand.
“Next time shit hits the fan, Jinx, you call me. You don’t deal, and you don’t call the cops. You call me.”
Then he walked away, and as his heavy footsteps faded, I turned and walked into my home. Maybe I could manage just a little while longer, I thought. It would be better to patch things up, at least passably, with Wilder, and see how things went from there.
Chapter Two
Equestrian Equinox
Wilder was waiting for me on her front porch the day after the break-in. Since she’d never been a touchy-feely kind of girl she didn’t try to hug me, and I was grateful, partially since I wasn’t into excessive hugging myself, but mostly because my ribs hurt like hell and even breathing was difficult. I’d decided to not tell my friends about the kicks I’d received, though. That was stupid maybe, but I didn’t want them to fuss more than necessary, and I absolutely didn’t want to go to the hospital. I figured that regardless of what they found out from x-rays, they’d just wrap me up and send me home with pain killers. I’d done the wrapping and the pills myself and felt convinced that it would all get better in due time.
“I’m sorry,” Wilder said.
Her eyes were wary and a little bit sad, and her back tense.
“It’s okay,” I said dismissively. “I’ll go start up my computer and get to work.”
I had no desire at all to re-hash what had been said or debating who’d been right. I wanted it all to go away.
“Jinx…” she said, but when she saw my face, she trailed off. “Okay,” she sighed. “See you for lunch?”
“Maybe, though I might pass on lunch. Have a few ideas that should speed things up,” I replied. “I’m sure you want the crystal figured out as soon as possible,” I added, and that was snippy and unpleasant of me, but I just couldn’t help myself.
Before we got into the discussion-slash-argument that I still didn’t want to have, I turned and walked over to the small building where we’d set up the lab.
Kit was already there, and he muttered a quiet, “Hey,” as I tossed my jacket on a chair and started up my equipment.
Then I lost myself in my work.
The beauty of science washed over me like it always did, and I forgot about my ribs, the squabble with Wilder and all the clean-up I had to do when I got back to my condo. My mind was gloriously, beautifully blank as I sat there, looking at results of tests that had run over the night. I compared them with the expected outcome I’d extrapolated from results coming from similar tests on other energy producing elements, noted differences and similarities, charted temperatures and jotted down a new hypothesis, and ideas for the next round of tests.
People had told me my whole life I was clever and that I had exceptional capabilities, and I did. What they didn’t understand was that logical thinking or problem solving never felt very special, and I mostly found it silly that they gushed so much about something that wasn’t a hardship to me. If I had to describe it, I’d compare it to painting. Taking what you had in front of you, molding the information and shaping it into something beautiful that made sense to the onlooker… that’s what it felt like to me, and that was what I imagined painting a picture would be like too.
“Lunch,” a deep voice rumbled next to me.
I jumped when Olly put a bowl next to me and straightened my back with a low groan. I’d been bent over my numbers for several hours, and my ribs hurt when I moved.
“Watching you work is like watching a snake, coiled up and ready to strike,” Olly muttered, and I turned to him with my eyebrows raised. I’d been called many things in my life, but a snake was not one of them. “That absolute focus. Fascinating,” he said and walked away without waiting for a reply.
“He’s not wrong,” Kit chuckled and started laughing when he saw my face. “That was a compliment of the highest order from our taciturn giant.”
I relaxed and looked down at the bowl Olly had brought.
Something white that looked like yogurt with a brownish crumble sprinkled on top of it. What the hell was it?
“What the hell is this?” Kit echoed my thoughts.
“No clue,” I replied and started eating.
It ta
sted heavenly. The crumble was sweet and salty at the same time, and it blended perfectly with the tart yogurt. Kit had some berries in his, but I hadn’t gotten any. For the first time in weeks I finished the whole meal without stomach pains, and if there had been more, I’d have gobbled that up as well.
“I’ll take the bowls back to the kitchen,” Kit offered.
He was such a nice man. We’d been on one date, just when I got to know him and the others around Wilder’s father, and I wished we could have hit it off, but we didn’t. He’d kissed me goodnight by my door, and it had been nice, in the same way as a warm blanket felt comforting on a cold winter evening. Settling for comfort wouldn’t be right, neither for him nor for me, so I’d told him that I thought we’d be better off as friends, and he’d grinned crookedly, but agreed. Sadly enough, that had been one of the best dates I’d ever been on, but at least things didn’t get weird between us afterward. I’d been on plenty of first dates that had messed things up with classmates or even former teachers.
“I’ll take the bowls,” I said and got to my feet. “I want to find out what we just ate.”
I was in a much better mood than in the morning, which probably was because my belly was full and I’d had a good day in the lab. I only got as far as the front porch before things turned sour again, though.
Wilder sat on the steps leading up to her double front door and when she saw me she straightened and stood up jerkily. There was a weird look on her face.
“Jinx, you can’t be mad at me,” she said in a rush.
Oh, shit, I thought. What had she done now?
“You don’t think you need it, but you do,” she said, and I raised my brows expectantly, so she continued, “Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I did. You’re losing too much weight, Jinx, and you look like a ghost. You sit quietly in a corner and sulk, and I’m not even sure I know you anymore.”
I opened my mouth to ask her what she had done because some of her ramblings were almost coherent, but I still had no clue why she thought I’d be mad. Then Hawker stepped out on the porch and positioned himself slightly behind and to the side of his daughter, clearly giving her his support. Kit walked out of the lab at the same time as Olly and Mickey walked around the corner of the house, and Mac came through the barn door. They all stopped, and it could have been a coincidence that they all suddenly appeared out of nowhere, but it felt like they were approaching me from all angles, somehow judging me. My stomach started to hurt again, worse than it had ever before and when I tried to pull air into my lungs, my ribs hurt.
