Buniel patted her on the back. “I know, dear soul. It’s bad.”
“H-how do I live with this?”
“There is no cure for this kind of pain,” Buniel said sadly. “You cannot have the joy without the pain.”
Tears ran down her cheeks. “Why?”
“As long as evil exists, there will be pain,” Briathos muttered.
“But we can give you some comfort.” Buniel wrapped an arm around her and squeezed.
An instant wave of peace swept through her. “Thank you.” The pain was still there, but dulled a little.
“Come on, big guy.” Buniel waved Briathos over. “Help me out.”
Briathos shifted his weight. “I’m not a Healer.”
“You’re still an angel. Come on.” Buniel motioned for him to move closer.
Briathos inched over and awkwardly patted Leah on the head. “There, there, dear soul.”
Another wave of comfort trickled through her. “Thank you.”
Briathos eased back, frowning.
Then suddenly a flood of love washed over her. Her heart stilled, stunned by the power. It gave her strength. Strength to endure. And hope. Hope that she could live with the pain. And wisdom. The assurance that the Heavenly Father still loved her and forgave her. And if the Father could forgive her, surely she should forgive herself.
She gazed at Buniel in wonder. “Did you do that?”
He smiled with tears in his eyes. “That was Josephine. She loves you greatly.”
Leah smiled back, more tears running down her face. “Thank you, Josephine.” She wiped her face. She could do this. She could move forward with her life. Loving Dougal and fighting evil.
The music continued, so sad and sweet. “His music was the key.”
Buniel nodded. “It was his music that originally connected your souls. Close your eyes and listen. There’s more to remember.”
She let the music envelop her, and more flashes flitted through her mind. She was sitting outside a slave’s hut, listening to him play. Night after night, she listened to his music. Then she was running with him to the harbor. The sun was bright, glistening off the waves. And Dougal was young. A bit thinner. But his eyes were the same. He looked at her with so much love.
He didn’t want to leave her. He wanted her to run away with him and live with him forever.
And she refused.
The last tearful good-bye and his parting vow. I will find you. No matter what. If it takes a thousand years, I will find you.
Leah opened her eyes. She was Li Lei. She’d always loved Dougal. And she’d found him again.
Dougal finished his music and moved quietly across the courtyard.
“Come.” Briathos motioned for her to follow, and he led her back to the stone alley. “He will pass this way.”
“Call me if you need me.” Buniel gave her a hug, then vanished.
She turned to Briathos. “You were trying to help me for days, weren’t you?”
He inclined his head.
“Why did you want me to remember? Are you a romantic at heart?”
He looked taken aback. “Of course not. I’m a God Warrior. I do not indulge in such—” He cleared his throat. “Dougal stole your memories without your permission. He violated your free will. I wanted to set things right.”
“I see.” Leah smiled to herself. He was a romantic. “Well, thank you.” She glanced at him, but he was gone.
Dougal crossed the courtyard, his heart aching. How had he managed to make such a mess of things? How could he live without Leah? How could he live with her? How could he explain to her what he’d done?
He turned into the alley and halted with a jerk. His pipes fell to the ground and let out a mournful cry.
“Leah?” Why was she here? Why was her face wet from tears, and her eyes red and swollen? “Y-ye remember?”
She nodded. “Yes.” She glanced back at the guesthouse at the end of the alley. “We made love there, didn’t we?”
His heart squeezed. “How . . . ?”
“The angels helped me.” She fished a piece of paper out of her coat pocket. “And then there were clues. Like this love letter from a guy named Dougal. Apparently, we were very much in love, so it totally confounds me that you would erase that!” Her voice rose to a shout.
“I-I can explain.” He winced inwardly. Could he?
She stuffed the note back into her pocket. “I don’t know whether to hug you or slap you. We had a beautiful affair to remember, and you made me forget? How could you erase everything we went through?”
“I failed you. I failed to protect you. And I failed to convince you that I love you. Ye thought ye were a replacement. And ye were suffering so much. I couldna bear it. I was trying to save you.”
She said nothing, just continued to watch him with tears glimmering in her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Leah. I was desperate to take away yer suffering. Abby says I was a noble idiot, and she’s right. I made a terrible mistake.”
“I think I was the one who made a mistake.” Leah walked slowly toward him. “We were there at the harbor, and you were begging me to go with you, and I refused. I didn’t want to bring shame on my family.” She snorted. “I guess I was a noble idiot, too.”
His heart stilled. “Y-ye remember that?”
She smiled, lifting her hands in the air. “I remember everything.”
“Ye remember Li Lei?”
She nodded. “I would say your kissing has vastly improved over the years.”
He stiffened. “Ye were my first.”
“You were my first, too.”
“Can ye forgive me?”
“For what? I was the one who refused to run away with you.”
“I promised to find you again, and I was too late. I saw yer boat capsize in the storm.”
She sighed. “I don’t think I fought very hard to survive. I had realized my mistake, and I didn’t want to live without you.” She wiped her eyes. “Can you forgive me?”
“For what? Ye came back to me. Ye gave me another chance.”
She frowned at him. “And then you tried to erase it all. Were you going to wait another three hundred years, hoping that I would reincarnate and find you again?”
He winced.
She huffed. “That’s all fine and dandy for you. But what about me? Was I supposed to miss out on this lifetime? Don’t you dare mess with my head again!”
“I dinna think ye would miss me if ye couldna remember. Now I realize I was punishing myself. I couldna forgive myself for failing to protect you.”
“How could you have protected me? Dougal, there was nothing you could do. And when the demon bit me, there was nothing I could do. We just have to live with it.”
He nodded. “I am trying to forgive myself.”
She smiled sadly. “I’m trying, too.”
He stepped closer. “So . . . am I still at a hundred percent?”
“Yes.”
He took her hand. “And ye still want to marry me?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“Ye agreed to have five children.”
Her eyes widened. “I did? I don’t remember that.”
His mouth twitched. “Nay. Ye dinna. I was just testing.”
She swatted his shoulder.
He pulled her into his arms. “Did ye want to molest me in my room over there?”
She splayed her hands over his chest. “Yes. And I want my dragon back.”
“The one in my kilt?”
She snorted. “The one you’re hiding under your sweater.” She found the chain and tugged the jade dragon out. “I can’t believe you stole my necklace.”
“It kept me from going insane. I missed you something fierce.” He kissed her brow.
She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I love you, Dougal. I have always loved you.”
He hugged her tight. “I love you, too.”
With a playful shove, she pushed him back, then scooped up his pipes and ran for t
he guesthouse.
He followed her. “Och, lass, I see ye’re in a hurry to get under my kilt.”
She laughed. “You wish.”
“I do wish.”
About the Author
KERRELYN SPARKS is the New York Times bestselling author of a series that mimics its sexy heroes by refusing to die. Now up to book fourteen, the Love at Stake series spreads laughter worldwide in thirteen different languages. In spite of a tendency to nibble on necks or howl at the moon, Kerrelyn’s vampire and shapeshifter heroes are still wonderfully romantic.
Please visit www.kerrelynsparks.com, where you can read excerpts, play vampire games, or join the forum. Kerrelyn loves hearing from readers, even those who howl at the moon. Letters may be sent to PO Box 5512, Katy, TX 77491-5512.
Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins authors.
By Kerrelyn Sparks
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