by Jane West
It was as if she was in my head. “I’m not following you.” I played as if I was nescient to her meaning.
“There are consequences when you toy with black magick.”
I blinked, lost for words.
“Let me see your cup,” the lady soothed me into obeying.
Without a word, I slid my cup and saucer over to her. She snatched up the set, placing the saucer on top of the cup, holding it tightly together. Then she flipped the set over and separated the two dishes. She held the cup, peering inside at the wet leaves. She studied it for several minutes.
I watched, frozen.
Unannounced, the lady’s face soured, lines deepened over her face. She glimpsed up at me. “There is pain. You have lost. A child?” she stared up at me, asking.
“Yes.” I simply answered. I swallowed the knot rising in my throat. I didn’t want to fall apart.
The lady continued. “I see trouble a joker. This one is full of trickery. This man is wearing some sort of jewelry that marks him.”
I gasped needles pricking my neck. I sat there silent.
“He is an imposter. Beware!” She holds the cup closer. “There is going to be great change to your life and those you hold close to your heart.” Her face lifted with excitement. “Aw! This is good!” I was fretful of her definition of good. “There is faire l’amour!” (Love) You will find a lost love, your true love.” She glanced up into my face and smiled.
I frowned.
“Non, non! He will be your amour ne dépendant de rien.” (true love) She went on, “he is dark, but his heart will change. You like this! No?”
“I’m happy with someone now.”
“I don’t think so.” She shook her head.
“I know my heart.” I disputed.
“Maybe, maybe not. You are young.”
I crossed my arms, tired of this conversation. Where is Jeffery? Did he fall in or what? I stared at the lady as she eyed me carefully through her strange colored eyes.
“I see someone from your past will emerge.” She tilted the cup to the side for me to view. “See this line?”
I nodded.
“This line shows that this person from your past will become your protecteur.” Her face puzzled. “Though I can’t see his face.” She studied the tea leaves closer, face tensed. “Something is blocking my view. He is hazy.”
I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t help it. “I don’t need protecting.”
“No?” She nodded at my boots. “Check your boots and pants too.” She suggested, confidently.
I reached in both boots and found nothing. I dug in the back of my pants. Nothing! “Enculè de at mère!” (Motherf——!) I took a sharp breath. “Please excusez-moi. I need to have a word with someone.” I said through clenched teeth as I leaped from my chair heading out the door.
“Oh!” the lady called out to me. “Will you give someone a message for me?”
I stopped and turned back, facing her. “Sure.” I held my hand on the screen door, tapping my foot.
“Please tell my petit-fils (grandson) he needs to paint my house. I like white,” the elderly lady smiled.
“Ce qui est le nom de votre petit-fils?” (What is your grandson’s name)
“Nicholas.” She spoke one word.
“You mean Nick? Right outside here?” I pointed.
“Oui!” She nodded her head.
***
I went straight to the source. Peering around, I didn’t see Val anywhere. It didn’t matter. I had a knife to pick with his ami. (Friend) It wasn’t hard finding Nick. He was the drunk in the lawn chair next to the fire. I walked straight up to him without even considering the girl he was speaking to and placed my hands on each arm of his chair. Then I leaned down low into his shit-face, “You took my knives! I want them back now. You thief!” I demanded. His eyes were heavy-lidded.
“What are you talking about?” He smirked with his eyes half-closed.
“You thieving bastard! Give me my knives!” I bellowed.
“Didn’t your mère (mother) teach you manners?”
Now he pissed me off. “Don’t talk about my mère when ta mère elle a accouché dans une poubelle!” (your mother gave birth in a trash can)
Before I took my next breath, my feet went airborne, and I had been thrown over the Cajun’s shoulder like a potato sack, and with each determined stride he brazenly took, I became angrier. He had no idea who he was messing with. Damn, where was Val? My eyes combed over the heads of folks, trying to spot the Zop.
Then abruptly, I was released on my derrière, leaving me to look up into two very heated black eyes. Before I could make my complaint known, the Cajun snatched me up on my feet. His hands were possessive, resting on my hips. Our faces were so close I could smell the liquor on his breath. “Just because you are a une belle fille (pretty girl) does not give you the right to say such defiling things about my mère!”
My hands were pressed against his chest, captive by his iron grip.
Of course, I never backed down as I fired back. “You took my knives!” I howled.
“Where did you learn Cajun French?” He appeared enamored, yet pissed.
“Does it matter?” I spat.
The Cajun paused for a second. “Val is right. You are trouble.” The corner of his lip turned up.
“Yeah? You think this is bad wait till I warm up, then I’m a riot.”
“Chéri, you talk too much. I’m going to kiss you. Aucun entretien.” (No talk) His black eyes gleamed with determination.
“Like hell if you are!” I protested, wiggling from his grasp. Then the Frenchman made his move. Our lips locked, and I couldn’t get free, or maybe I didn’t try hard enough. It all was sort of fuzzy to me. The Cajun knew how to kiss, and before I realized it, I was beginning to feel a little stir. His kisses became deeper, plunging. Instead of pushing him away, I found myself grasping his hair and bringing him down to meet my height for more of his luscious kisses. His arms slipped around my waist, and lifted me off the ground. I remembered dangling my feet as he devoured my lips. I couldn’t believe myself. Yet I couldn’t stop either.
Then abruptly we broke apart. Both of us were heaving. I wiped the remains of his kisses off my swollen lips, and without thinking, I slapped him. “Don’t ever touch me again!” I hissed. Then I remembered my promise. “Oh, I almost forgot. Your grandmother wanted me to give you a message.” I paused, trying to catch my breath. “She wants her house painted white.” Then I stalked past the Cajun, leaving him alone, rubbing his jaw with a dumbfounded look splattered across his face. Maybe it was the slap. I might have rattled his pea-sized brain. God! I hated that Cajun.
What’s a Girl Gonna Do?
On the trip back, we all were quiet and drawn to our own thoughts. I kept telling myself, it was the combination of beer, strange food, and I’m-just-running-out-of-excuses kinda night. Man, did I feel a heavy dose of guilt, kissing that Cajun. Why did I let him do that? I didn’t even like him.
Then my mind flashed to that lady and our peculiar conversation. Chills covered my body. I slipped a sideways glance at Val. I sighed, knowing that the lady, Mable, was right about Val. The thought of his origin made me feel oceans apart from him. Even still, I believed if we worked hard at it, we had a chance. Then why did I have this sinking feeling?
First things first. I needed to face Aidan. This wasn’t going to be easy. I’d rather have my arms amputated than approach him and his blazing temper. Considering everything that had transpired, my imprisonment, Mom’s death, the death of Dawn, feelings changing, for his sake and mine, we needed to let go of each other. We might be bound as one, but we didn’t have to share the same living quarters or even the same life.
Next, Val. I wasn’t sure how he’d handle it when I ask him to let me face Aidan by myself. And last but not least, I needed to tell him about the Cajun. I hoped he wouldn’t be too disappointed in me. It wasn’t necessary. I’d carried the weight of shame on my shoulders for the both of us.
/> Finally after I settled with both Aidan and Val, I intended to hunt down Mustafa and kill him. Then I might be able to get my life on the road of recovery.
When we reached home, I woke up Jeffery. It boggled me how he could fall asleep crunched up in the backseat, even snoring.
Watching Jeffery drag himself into the house, it occurred to me that we all needed a good night’s rest. I couldn’t wait to feel the comfort of my soft bed and the soothing purr of Snowball, my cat.
As I entered through the gate, Val softly tapped my arm and motioned for me to stay back with him. I gathered he’d sensed a shift between us by the vee in his brows. I climbed the steps leading to the front porch and flopped down on the top step, one of my favorite spots to perch. When I sat there, I felt like I was on top of the world, overlooking the neighborhood.
A cool breeze scented the air with crepe myrtle. I instinctively drew in a deep breath, flavoring the sweet perfume. I did love living in the Garden District. In my wildest dreams, I’d never imagined I would’ve ended up in this exquisite place. I smiled to myself, gazing down the street.
Val came and joined me. His long legs stretched out as he sighed, tiredly.
I rested my chin in my hands, elbows propped on my knees.
Val casually etched his arm around my waist, drawing me closer. “What’s wrong?” he asked, weary in his voice.
I took in a piercing breath. This wasn’t going to be easy. “Val, you know I love you?”
“Yeah, I know.” The corner of his lips stretched.
I hid my eyes under my lashes. I couldn’t look at him. I was too ashamed. “I don’t know exactly how to tell you this. So I’ll just say it. Your friend, Nick, kissed me.”
A handful of seconds passed before he spoke. “You kissed him back?” Val’s voice was even, no indication of how he was taking this.
“Not at first.” I felt my pulse in my throat going off the charts.
“Not at first?” his brow shot up.
“I don’t know what came over me.” My eyes welled up with moisture. I still evaded his eyes.
“Did he come on to you first?” His arm fell from me as he drew away, folding his arms.
“Yes, but it’s my fault.” I blurted out, hastily. He’d stolen my knives! I confronted him.”
“Aw hell!” Val took an irate breath. “Don’t tell me you insulted his momma?” Val’s face winced as if he’d eaten a spoiled lemon.
I confessed. “Yeah, I did.” Quiet washed over us. So I rushed to my defense. “Neither one of us planned it. It just—happened. He was drunk and I’d had a few beers.” I waited for Val to say something, but he didn’t utter a word. “I’m sorry. It’s been eating away at me all night.” My eyes lifted to his face, pleading.
“Did it go any further?” I couldn’t believe he’d ask that.
“Are you kidding me? I don’t even like the guy.”
“But you kissed him?”
“I know.” I wanted to die. “That’s what is so mind blowing!”
He sighed. “I’m glad you told me. It’s okay.” Val shrugged.
“It’s okay?” My eyes blinked with incredulity. “If you had kissed another girl, I would’ve been livid.”
“You’re not me,”
“Are you upset with Nick?”
“Nope. He’s a man. You’re a beautiful woman. Nick goes after what he wants.”
“And you’re okay if he goes after your girlfriend?” I wanted a reaction out of him—anything but this lukewarm bullshit.
“Nick can’t steal something that is not mine, Freckles.”
I sat there, gaping. “Are you saying I’m not yours?”
“Do any of us actually belong to anyone?” he shrugged.
“Now you’re talking crazy!” I shook my head, baffled.
“Why do you think it’s crazy?”
“Because you fight for what’s yours! I’d fight for you!”
“One thing you’re forgetting, we are not bound like a human marriage. I have no right nor claim to you.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I mean, if you choose another, I will have no choice but to let you go.”
“Then why are you so resolved about Aidan leaving?”
“Because he’s a loose cannon, and I don’t want you hurt.”
“So your feelings for me plays no part in your dislike for Aidan?”
“No, actually it doesn’t.”
“You’ve got to be kidding?
“Look! I’m not saying I don’t care. It’s just humans are different than my kind. You’re not human, but you have lived like one all your life. You are accustomed to their culture. In the Zop culture, we’re not possessive. Unlike humans, my kind doesn’t waste their energy on attachments and jealousy. Emotions are treacherous and will destroy a nation. We prefer to not complicate our lives.” He shrugged. “We’re not wired like humans.”
“I’m not human, and I’m wired that way. I think it’s called a choice.”
“Your emotions stem from your upbringing. You should be happy I’m not the jealous type, kicking every man’s ass for glancing at you.” Val smiled while reaching for my hand.
“Sorry,” I pulled away. My face pinched, “I want passion and love and possessiveness and all that crazy emotional stuff.”
“Sorry, Freckles. That’s not me. Don’t get me wrong, I want you...a lot. However you look at it, I have to set aside my feelings and think about my kind. I’m in a high-ranking position. I have to maintain and keep my perspective in check. There’s no future for us. My kind would never accept you.”
“I thought we were going to work through this! Tonight you referred to me as your copine!” (girlfriend)
“True. I’m sorry if I mislead you. I was trying not to shame you among the others,” his eyes were somber.
“Shame me!” I scoffed. “Why would I feel ashamed?”
“Humans are preoccupied with labels. I didn’t want anyone to think you were ” Good thing he didn’t finish that last word. My eyes were fired up.
“Most of your friends were too hammered to care.” I looked away, then I turned back, facing him. “I thought we were good.”
“You can’t possibly think we are okay when there is unresolved dissension between us?”
“I thought we had something special.” I blinked, unbelieving my ears.
“Special won’t help us when the Zop society refuses to accept you.”
I clenched my teeth, eyes narrowed. “I don’t need acceptance from a bunch of radical angels! I thought you loved me!”
“Freckles, you know how much you mean to me. Despite my feelings, we have to take everything into consideration. And with the war brewing—”
“Don’t use this war as an excuse!”
“I’m not!” Val snapped.
“Tell me this. If you don’t feel jealousy then why would you not touch me as long as I had feelings for Aidan?”
“I don’t want a woman whose heart belongs to another man.”
“So now that my heart is free from the clenches of the-great-white Aidan, it’s okay if your friends play grab ass with me as long as I keep my heart in check?”
“Now you’re behaving ridiculous.”
“Oh! Then I must be your entertainment?” I bit out the words like they were acid.
“You’re not my entertainment.” Val announced. “I do care about you. As for a relationship we’d only be spinning our wheels.” He shrugged.
“If we can’t have a relationship, then what future do we have?”
“A future is relative.” He flashed a strained smile. “Let’s take this day by day. Enjoy each other while we can.” Val reached to draw me into his arms, but I wasn’t having it.
“Stop!” I jerked away. “If we have no future, then we have no present. According to the impure race, it’s all or nothing, no settling.” I’d made my decision, and I was cemented to it.
“Freckles, my hands are tied. You have to know that our
antinomy breaks my heart too.”
“Does it?” I raked in a wincing breath. “Do you know what I like about being human?”
“No. But I have a sneaky feeling you’re going to tell me.”
“I have the freedom to choose who I want to spend my life with, and no species, race, or even an angel can tell me otherwise. Good night!”
I left Val sitting there with his freaking mouth gaping.
“I’m done with men. Period!” I mumbled to myself as I shut the door behind me.
***
Nearly four in the morning, and I couldn’t close my eyes. After staring at the ceiling and nowhere near falling to sleep, I decided to go make myself some hot cocoa. I had just sat down at the island and took a sip when I heard footfalls. I didn’t even have to look up to know who was coming. The footsteps gave it away, heavy and short. Sally peeked her head around the corner into the kitchen, and asked meekly, “Do you mind some company?” She smiled, unsure of herself.
We hadn’t exactly had the best friendship. I get her hesitance, but I had softened. Setting aside my grievances, I’d began to see her in another light. She was as much a victim as I. “Sure.” I smiled openly. I leaned over and pulled out the stool next to me. “Would you like some hot cocoa?”
“Oh, that does sounds good!” She started to rise.
“Have a seat. I’ll get it for you.” Soon I returned with a hot cup of delicious cocoa. I set it down beside her.
“Thanks!” She lifted the cup to her lips and carefully sipped, then she exhaled. “You couldn’t sleep either?”
“Yep! You too?”
“Yes.” Sally nodded her head. “Are you okay?” I saw concern in her eyes. Pleasantly surprised, I might like this girl after all.
“I will be. Thanks for asking. How about you?”
“I’m doing much better. Especially after you opened your home to me. I want to thank you for your generosity. I don’t deserve—”
I stopped her. “Don’t! We both were victims.” I forced a painful smile. The memories were agonizing, back in that cottage. I would never forget, not even in death. Nonetheless, it helped knowing that she was remorseful. It was time to put it to rest and move on.
