Mr Majeika and the School Trip

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Mr Majeika and the School Trip Page 3

by Humphrey Carpenter


  “Yum, yum,” he kept saying, but he never offered any of it to the rest of Class Three.

  “Can’t you do some magic to make things better here, Mr Majeika?” asked Pete.

  Mr Majeika shook his head. “I’ve been trying all morning,” he said. “The first thing that I did when I arrived, before you’d all got here, was to have a go at some spells. I tried to find a spell to mend the broken windows and get the other window to shut. And a spell to get us better chairs and tables and better lights, and a bookshelf and all the other things we need. But it wouldn’t work. I’m rather worried, to tell you the truth. It seems that I can’t do magic in this place.”

  Class Three groaned. It was bad enough to have lost their nice school buildings and have to come to this dreadful place, but how much worse it was if Mr Majeika couldn’t do magic any more.

  “Do you mean, Mr Majeika,” asked Jody, “that nothing happened when you tried those spells?”

  “Not exactly, Jody,” said Mr Majeika. “Every time I said one of them and waved my hands, a strange picture came into my mind.”

  “What sort of picture?” asked Thomas.

  “It was very odd,” explained Mr Majeika. “I could see an enormous crane, the sort they have on a building site. And from the end of it, on a big chain, was hanging a big metal ball.”

  “I know what that was, Mr Majeika,” said Pete. “It’s what they use to knock down old buildings – a crane with a heavy metal ball.”

  “Goodness,” said Jody. “Do you think, Mr Majeika, that it means they’ve already started to knock down the old St Barty’s buildings? Maybe that’s why your spells here didn’t work – someone or something was trying to tell you to stop wasting time here and go back to the old St Barty’s before it’s all been knocked down.”

  “I think you’re right, Jody,” said Mr Majeika. “Let’s get back there as quickly as we can.”

  “But there’s no bus,” said Jody, “and it’ll take us ages to walk. By the time we get there, it may be too late.”

  “This calls for a magic carpet,” said Mr Majeika. “Look – that’s one thing this classroom has got – a carpet. It’s dirty and old, but it should do the job. We’ll have to take it outside, because I can’t do magic in here. But then you can sit down on it, everyone, hold on tight, and off we’ll go.”

  Beresford Bigmore had just ordered his chauffeur to drive him to the old St Barty’s buildings, where the demolition men were due to arrive to start knocking them down. The chauffeur parked the car outside the school gates. Then he got out and held the door open for Beresford.

  Simon Sleeze was there already, in his own big shiny car, which had the number plate SS 1. He was opening a bottle of champagne and lighting up a big cigar.

  “What a fortune we’re going to make, Biggy,” he said to Beresford. “I reckon we can build at least twenty houses where these stupid old school buildings are standing, and we can sell them for at least a quarter of a million each. That’s five million we’ll make.”

  “Yummy,” said Beresford Bigmore. “And look, here come the demolition men.”

  A crane was rolling towards them along the road. On the side of it was painted “DAN’S DEMOLITION. NOTHING IS TOO BIG FOR US TO SMASH IT UP.” From the end of it there dangled a big metal ball, such as Mr Majeika had seen in his mind every time he’d tried to do a spell.

  “Get started!” called Beresford Bigmore to the demolition men as the crane pulled up outside the school. “Don’t leave a brick of it standing.”

  “Righto, mate,” called the men, and the crane began to rev up, ready to swing the metal ball.

  Just at that moment, there was a whooshing noise and Mr Majeika and Class Three came flying over the rooftops on their carpet.

  “I don’t believe it,” said Simon Sleeze. “It looks like a magic carpet.”

  “Pay no attention,” said Beresford Bigmore. “It’s the silly man who teaches my cousin, Hamish. Apparently he thinks he’s a wizard and can do magic. He’s just a nutter, of course.”

  The magic carpet landed and Mr Majeika looked at the crane and said: “Yes, that’s exactly what I saw.”

  “Hurry up and do something, Mr Majeika,” said Jody. “Look, they’re going to swing the metal ball at the school roof. It’ll only take two or three bashes to knock it in completely. And then they’ll start on the walls.”

  Mr Majeika thought for a moment. Then he shut his eyes and muttered some words and waved his hands.

  The big metal ball swung – but not at the school roof. At the last moment it changed direction – and hit Beresford Bigmore’s car.

  There was a frightful crash of metal and the car spun over like a toy, on to its roof. It was damaged beyond repair.

  “You idiots!” screamed Beresford Bigmore at the men from Dan’s Demolition. “That car cost me an absolute fortune. You’ll have to buy me a new one.”

  “Sorry, mate,” said the head of the Dan’s Demolition team. “Something must have gone wrong with the crane. We’ll try again.”

  The big metal ball swung again – and again it turned away from the school roof. This time it hit Simon Sleeze’s car.

  “Fools!” he screamed, as the car turned a somersault like the other one had done. “That’s another car you owe us!”

  But this time the Dan’s Demolition man didn’t reply. The crane had begun to shake violently, so that he and the other men were thrown out of it into the road. By the time they had picked themselves up, the crane had set off by itself. It was chasing Beresford Bigmore and Simon Sleeze, its metal ball swinging dangerously at them.

  The two property developers ran as fast as they could go. A sheet of paper fell out of Beresford’s pocket as he and Simon Sleeze turned the corner and were lost from sight, with the crane close behind them.

  “Brilliant, Mr Majeika,” said Pete. “One of your best spells. I hope the crane will chase them out of town.”

  “It will,” said Mr Majeika. “And as for this,” he added, picking up the sheet of paper, “it’s the agreement by Mr Potter to sell the school. So I think we know what to do with that.” He tore it into little pieces and scattered them to the wind. “So tomorrow, St Barty’s will be back in its proper buildings and Hamish Bigmore won’t be having any more rides in his cousin’s posh car.”

  “Hooray!” said Jody “Three cheers for Mr Majeika! And we even got to have a magic carpet ride as well.”

  3. Just the Job

  “My sister has been doing work experience,” said Jody in the playground one morning. Jody’s sister was older than her and at a bigger school than St Barty’s.

  “What’s work experience?” asked Thomas.

  “It’s when you have a week off school,” explained Jody, “and you’re sent to places where people do jobs, and you learn to do a job yourself.”

  “A week off school?” said Pete. “I like the sound of that.”

  “Do a job myself?” said Thomas. “That’s great. I’d like to drive a train. Let’s ask Mr Majeika if we can have work experience too.”

  Mr Majeika had never heard of work experience. “But it sounds a good idea,” he said.

  “Could we go and learn to be wizards?” asked Pete.

  Mr Majeika shook his head. “That wouldn’t be allowed,” he said. “But maybe you could do some other jobs.”

  “I’d like to be a racing driver,” said Hamish Bigmore, and he began to make racing-car noises. “Brrrrrrrrmmmmmmmm! Vrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmm! Eeeeeeeeewowwwwwwweeeeeeee

  owwwwwwww!”

  Soon, everyone had to put their hands over their ears.

  “The trouble is,” said Jody, “we don’t look big enough or old enough to do the kind of jobs we’d like. People would just laugh at us if we asked them for real grown-up jobs.”

  “Ah,” said Mr Majeika. “I think I can do something about that.”

  “Can you, Mr Majeika?” asked Thomas excitedly. “When, when?”

  “Maybe tomorrow morning,” answered Mr Majeika. �
�I’ll see what I can manage by the time you get to school.”

  When they came into the classroom next morning, Class Three found there were small glasses of a green-coloured drink set out on the tables.

  “One for each of you,” called Mr Majeika. “Drink it slowly, or you may feel rather strange.”

  Everyone started sipping their drink, which tasted quite sweet and rather nice. The moment she had swallowed some of it, Jody had a funny feeling in her legs. She looked down. “I’m getting taller!” she said.

  “So am I!” called Thomas.

  “I’m not touching Mr Majeika’s nasty green drink,” said Hamish Bigmore. “I don’t want odd things to happen to me.”

  “In that case,” said Pete, who was now almost two metres tall, “you’re going to be the smallest person in the class. Hello, ickle baby Hamish!”

  He walked over to Hamish, finding he could take big strides with his long legs. Hamish looked up at him crossly.

  “Go away,” he grumbled, “you look stupid.”

  Thomas, who was just as tall as his brother, strode over to Hamish as well.

  “Hello, little boy,” he said to Hamish. “If you drink your nice green medicine, you might grow up to be as big as me.”

  “Shut up,” snarled Hamish, and picked up his green drink to throw it in Thomas’s face. Then he changed his mind and swallowed it in one gulp.

  “Ooooo!” he cried, for he had shot up as fast as a lift and was now as tall as Thomas and Pete.

  Everyone else in Class Three was getting used to being as tall as a grownup. In fact, the smallest person in the class was now Mr Majeika.

  “What giants you all are,” he said. “You’d better get out of here before Mr Potter and the other classes see what’s happened. Go off and get your jobs.”

  “What jobs have you arranged for us, Mr Majeika?” asked Jody.

  Mr Majeika frowned. “Arranged?” he repeated. “Was I supposed to arrange them? Nobody explained that to me.”

  “Never mind,” said Pete. “There’s lots of adverts for jobs on cards in the window of the post office. Let’s go and see what we can get for ourselves.”

  “Come back at the end of school this afternoon, everyone,” called Mr Majeika, as they all went off. “Then I can turn you back to your normal size.”

  Everyone went down to the post office -everyone except Hamish Bigmore.

  “I’m not going to get one of those stupid jobs advertised on one of those stupid cards,” he said. “I’m going to get a real job. You’ll see.”

  “What sort of job are you thinking of getting, Hamish?” asked Thomas. “Prime Minister? President of the United States?”

  “I’ll be a millionaire by the end of the day,” said Hamish. “Just you wait.” And off he went.

  They all looked at the cards. One of them said: “Assistant wanted by Goldilocks the Hairdresser. No experience necessary.”

  “That sounds fine for me,” said Jody. “I know Goldilocks, it’s that hairdresser by the station. I’ll see you all later.” And off she went.

  Other cards advertised such jobs as gardening, cleaning, babysitting, and working in shops. Everyone found something they liked, and they all went off to apply for the jobs – except Thomas and Pete.

  “I don’t want to be a gardener, or a cleaner, or a babysitter, or anything like that,” said Thomas.

  “At this rate, we won’t find a job at all,” said Pete. “Look, there’s one more card in the corner of the window that no one noticed.”

  Thomas peered at it. “It says, ’Pop singers wanted urgently. Contact Shambles Recording Studios, Greentree Street.’”

  “Pop singers?” said Pete. “That sounds good. Greentree Street is just round the corner. Off we go.”

  At half-past two that afternoon, Jody left Goldilocks the Hairdresser and was just going back to school when she noticed the Kosy Korner Kafé. She decided there was just time to buy herself something to eat.

  She had sat down and was looking at the menu when she heard a tap on the window. It was Thomas and Pete. Jody beckoned them and they came in and sat down at her table.

  “Gosh, you look amazing,” Thomas said to her.

  “Yes, you look just like a model,” Pete said.

  “I am a model,” said Jody. “Have a glance at these pictures.” She put a bundle of photos on the table.

  “Cool,” said Thomas. Judy’s hair had been specially cut and waved, and her face had been made up very cleverly. She looked super in the photos.

  “I was learning to cut people’s hair,” she explained, “when a photographer turned up to take some pictures to put in the window of Goldilocks. And they all decided that I was the best person to photograph. The photographer was so pleased with the way the pictures came out that he’s going to give my name to one of the fashion magazines. I may become a famous model!”

  “That’s great,” said Pete. “But will they want to photograph you when you’re back to your ordinary size?”

  “I thought about that,” said Jody. “I’ll ask Mr Majeika to make me taller again. How did you both get on?”

  “Look at this,” said Thomas, putting a CD on the table. The label said “Twinz”.

  “Twinz? What does that mean?” asked Jody.

  “It’s us,” said Pete. “We’re a band now.”

  “We’re called Twinz because we’re twins,” explained Thomas.

  “We went to this place called the Shambles Recording Studio, and it was a shambles – really untidy,” said Pete.

  “It’s run by a record producer who was once a pop singer himself,” said Thomas. “He’s called Shambling Sid Sutton and he makes lots of wonderful records, but before he’s finished them the wires usually get all tangled up, or he loses the tape, and he has to start all over again. That’s why he was advertising for more singers.”

  “And did you really make a record?” asked Jody.

  “You bet,” said Pete. “We recorded a song called ‘Magical Mr Majeika’.”

  “The words begin like this,” said Thomas, “ ‘Mr Majeika, A magical teacher, Mr Majeika, He’s such a wizard, yeah!’ ”

  Jody frowned. “It sounds good,” she said, “but I’m not sure Mr Majeika will want to be on a pop record. He likes to keep it secret about being a wizard.”

  “Don’t worry about that,” said Pete. “I don’t think the record will get into the top ten. Thomas and I can’t really play the guitar properly, and I’m sure Shambling Sid will lose the tape or something before he can release the record. Still, we’ve got our own disc of it.”

  “Shouldn’t we be getting back to school?” said Thomas. “Mr Majeika wants us to be there in good time so that he can shrink us to our normal size before school ends.”

  “I was going to order a Coke and a chocolate biscuit,” said Jody. “But nobody’s taken my order. They’re very slow in this café.”

  Pete looked around him. “I’m not surprised,” he said. “Look who the waiter is.”

  It was Hamish Bigmore, and he was looking very cross at being seen by Thomas, Pete and Jody.

  “Hello, Hamish,” said Jody. “Didn’t you manage to get a job as a millionaire?”

  “Shut up,” muttered Hamish.

  “You’re not going to make even one pound if you don’t serve customers,” said Pete. “Come on, let’s go.”

  They arrived back at St Barty’s a few minutes before the end of school.

  “Did you all find good jobs?” asked Mr Majeika.

  Everyone said yes. They had worked as window cleaners, computer programmers, bus conductors, restaurant cooks, and all sorts of other things. Only Hamish Bigmore refused to say what he had been doing.

  “He’s been in the Kosy Korner Kafé,” laughed Thomas, “making a million pounds an hour in tips.”

  “Shut up,” mumbled Hamish.

  “Now everyone,” said Mr Majeika, “time to get back to your normal sizes. I’ve got a packet of Shrinking Powder ready for everyone. Swallow it
with a glass of water and it should do the trick.”

  They opened the packets, put the powder on their tongues and washed it down with water. In a few seconds all of them were back to their normal sizes.

  “I miss being tall,” said Jody.

  “I don’t,” said Thomas. “I kept falling over my own legs, they were so long.”

  “Isn’t Mr Majeika clever?” said Pete. “These days, his spells never seem to go wrong.”

  When Jody woke up the next morning, she felt bright and cheerful, but something seemed to be different about her bedroom. Her bed was huge, as big as a football pitch, and the ceiling was as tall as the roof of a church. When she tried to climb out of bed, she saw that there was a drop of about six metres to the floor.

  “Help!” she called out, but no one came.

  Then the door of her bedroom opened and her mother looked in. This was terrifying because, though she wasn’t a very big woman, she’d become an enormous giant. “Jody! Wake up!” she shouted in a voice like thunder.

  “I’m here, Mum,” Jody called. “I can’t get out of bed – everything is far too big.”

  “Oh, she isn’t here,” said her mum, who hadn’t heard the tiny squeak, which was all that Jody could make. “She must have gone to school early. And she didn’t even have breakfast.”

  Jody tried shouting again, but her mum went downstairs and didn’t come back.

  Suddenly Jody realized what must have happened. Mr Majeika’s Shrinking Powder had gone on working in the night. She had become very, very tiny -scarcely bigger than a mouse.

  Had the same thing happened to all the others in Class Three? If so, how on earth were they going to manage to get to school?

  There was a pile of old teddy bears behind the bed – they looked like monsters now – and Jody managed to slide down them on to the floor. But getting dressed was out of the question. Her clothes, which she had thrown on to the floor the night before, were as big as carpets, and her school bag was large enough for a whole family to live in.

 

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