by Sam Hall
“Shh….” I said. The grasping, needing part of me had been lulled into submission for a moment. A sharp prickle at the edges of my perception let me know I’d have a whole bunch to deal with once we came back to ourselves, but it was nice to just feel complete. Time felt like it stretched on and on, but it was no chore.
“We need to go back,” he said, lifting my chin and kissing me gently.
“No.” I shifted restively. “I don’t want to. There’s the planning and the Volken—”
“Yes, love.” And with the next kiss, the sounds of alien birds and insects came roaring back, the chill of the night air caressing my skin.
“You chose me,” he said again, out of wonder or to remind me, I wasn’t sure. I nodded, doubt and worry flooding back in, but it did not overcome that feeling of love. The emotions may have lain uneasily side by side, but they coexisted, for now.
“I wondered where you’d gotten to.”
I looked up to see Aaron leaning against the wall of one of the mining dormitories. We were supposed to be in tents to start adjusting to how things would be on the way to Leifgart, but Brandon and I had detoured to an empty room. The silence felt like exactly what we needed right now. He’d dropped down onto the bed, looking pale-faced and drawn, but at peace. We’d lain together, both of our anxieties thrumming in the background, but the stronger throb of our bond enough to let us relax. I’d just gotten up to get a glass of water when Aaron emerged out of the gloom.
“I was seeing to Brandon. He needed me.”
He nodded. “We felt it up the bond, me less than Slade or Finn, but we felt it. That’s a good thing.” He looked away, up the darkened hallway for a moment before glancing back. “I’d been meaning to talk to you about it. Slade’s wary, and Finn…well, he’s angry at everything right now, but I think that prick Sylvan is right. Strength in numbers. You made us a pack, we need to start working as one.”
“That why you had the guys gang up on me earlier?”
His smile was kinda devastating when it came, those white teeth stark against the honey of his skin. “Liked that, did ya? Not quite the group cohesiveness activities we usually use, but I figured it’d be a way to get everyone on board.”
“Everyone was definitely on board.” He watched me shiver, remembering the sensations the three of them had wrought.
“So, what now?”
I sighed and looked over my shoulder at the doorway into the room I was sharing with Brandon.
“Now I think we’re just going to have a quiet moment. I know I promised more tonight.”
“To be honest, a quiet moment would be perfect,” he said, lines of worry forming on his face as he let a long breath out. “We’re driving out into…what tomorrow?”
“Come in,” I said, not letting his thought process go too far. The way we were right now, we could either push our anxiety spirals up higher, or stop them altogether. I put a hand in his and pulled him inside.
Brandon looked up when we walked in, scanning the other man for a moment before nodding. He patted the space beside him. I laid down there, and Aaron pushed another bed over to augment ours, then joined us until I was wedged between the rigid warmth of both men. Hands stroked my body as I stroked theirs, a curious kind of animal pleasure cycling between the three of us. As always, today had been too much, and touching did a lot to reset us. I rolled over on my back, feeling their hands skimming my sides, stomach.
“Feeling better?” I said to Brandon, running a hand over his cheek.
“So much.” His eyes closed, and he snuggled in tighter against me.
“I’m sorry you never really got your mating day party.”
“Don’t need that, just this,” he said. “Though fair warning, Janice and Brandy will probably be all over us for that when we get back.”
“If we get back.”
We both looked at Aaron, then pulled him in as close as he could go.
“That’s not your responsibility,” Brandon said. “It’s something we’ll all have to work on.”
“Any insights you want to share, Doc?”
“I haven’t seen what happens, got nothing but small flashes, and there hasn’t been any for ages.”
“I expect you to discuss every detail of those flashes with my men in the morning.”
“In the morning.”
5
“This is not where you said you wanted me yesterday.”
I tried not to be hurt as Finn snapped the words at Aaron. We stood beside a tactical vehicle—basically, a four-wheel drive ute with a machine gun mounted in the tray. That wasn’t where we’d be sitting, though. Aaron wanted me in the middle of the back seat with Finn and Slade on either side, and Brandon in the front passenger seat.
“I took what you said under advisement,” Aaron said. “You’re in the back, protecting your mate.”
“Put Brandon and Slade with her.”
Her, I thought, not Jules, not Julie. My eyes were forced down as they began to sting.
“Gimme one of the bikes, and I’ll go on ahead.”
“Fucking give this cherry what he wants,” one of the soldiers said, edging forward. “Let him get his head ripped off by some weird arse monster or one of the murderous bastards. Give us a clear path to his grieving mate.”
When the soldier’s eyes flicked to me, his gaze was lecherous, but it was hard to tell if that was real or to provoke Finn. Either way, it worked.
“Don’t look at her.”
“Well, why don’t you take your place by her side and stop him from doing so,” Aaron said, stepping into Finn’s space. “Do you know what any of us would do to be in your shoes? Do you?” My head jerked up as I heard the slight waver in Aaron’s voice. It didn’t deter him as he shoved his finger into Finn’s chest. “You have the one thing we all want, Finn—a mate. And instead of cherishing every damn moment of that, you’re letting guilt make you its bitch, and a stupid one at that.” The other man watched Finn’s shoulders sag. “Your dads have been out here for years, Finn. It’s imperative we get them out, but there’s no urgency. We do this safe, and we do this smart.”
“But what I saw…”
“We all saw it, mate, and now we’re gonna do something about it. Trust us, trust my guys. There’s no one else I’d want to be walking into a motherfucking huge wolf’s den with. But if we’re gonna do this, someone needs to look after Jules. She’s the most precious. Something might happen to one of us, but she needs to make it back. Work with Brandon and Slade, and make that happen.”
My eyes took in every detail of the exchange, lingering particularly on the abrupt jerk of Aaron’s hands as he spoke to Finn.
That one is strong, my Tirian said as I felt the eerie sensation of her moving within me to peer out my eyes.
Yeah, I don’t feel like I know him all that well, and then this.
Some of your men are all dramatic declarations, a view of Slade and Jack popped into my mind, but others will wait for you to notice.
And I haven’t been noticing.
I have.
Aaron waited until Finn nodded in resignation, then clapped him on the shoulder, and turned to the others. “Everyone knows where they’re supposed to be. Hills, you keep to the middle of the pack, the rest of you, eyes peeled. We’ve got limited intel on what lives here from the mine crew. You’ll need your wits about you. No shooting indiscriminately, but if something looks hostile, take it out. Let’s go.”
And that was that. Everyone started to move—everyone but me. It was weird; I’d come to Sanctuary, found out I was this crazy powerful smoke wolf thing, and still, I was manoeuvred around by the men in my life. My teeth ground as a wave of resentment hit me and I glanced at the alien landscape with its purple trees. I had no experience here. I couldn’t handle a gun, and would have no idea how to cope with some strange creature if it attacked me, so I saw the wisdom in protecting me. I had the least useful skills.
“C’mon, princess,” Slade said, and for the first time, that
label stung. I was the princess, a burden to be argued over and managed, and it wasn’t something that sat well with me. “In you get,” he said as he opened the door, like I was a child. I followed the instructions dully.
“I’ll get in the front. Brandon can sit with Julie,” Finn said, moving to do exactly that. The other men all looked at me for confirmation, but I just got in the car and buckled up like a good little girl. I stared at the side of Finn’s face when the car started, hungrily taking in all of the details. I’d thought we’d resolved things, got things back on track when he’d cried in my arms, but it appeared I’d done little good. Finn was still torn apart by guilt and angry at the delays in atoning for it. All of a sudden, I felt a wave of love and reassurance. It was like being stroked by a velvet glove, the soft fibres brushing over all my sharp edges, encouraging them to relax and lay flat. I looked down and saw Brandon and Slade had taken my hands.
“It’ll be OK, love,” Slade said in a low voice, partially obscured by the rumble of the engine. “He’ll pull his head out of his arse at some point.”
“And we’ll step in if he doesn’t soon,” Brandon said, eyeing the other man.
I settled back against the seat, staring out the windscreen at the strange landscapes that appeared. I saw tall spires of stone carved into weird sinuous shapes by the elements, long drooping lengths of vine with great purple and yellow striped trumpets of flowers that lured in masses of insects, only to close around them when they got near enough. We burst out of the closely wooded path we drove down, the foliage falling away abruptly to reveal a great plain of yellowish-green grass. White clouds scudded across a bright blue sky.
I was seeing something so very few people on my world would ever get a chance to, and here I was, eating my heart out over relationship dramas. I glanced at the back of Finn’s head with narrowed eyes.
I think Finn had managed to hold onto his good mood when we stepped through the portal, laden with guns and supplies, because he’d expected to see the Volken there, waiting for us the minute we got to the mine. Instead, we were greeted by the mine site manager, given details about the local flora and fauna, as well as any people likely to harass us. None of them were the Volken.
The site manager seemed irritated by the whole thing. He hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the Volken warriors for months, obviously seeing it all as a massive waste of time. But he stepped through with his men and the machinery they were able to take back home and left us to the peaceful, empty mine site.
Aaron had been relieved to have a bit of time to coordinate the mission, do a quick inventory of supplies, as well as consult the more accurate local maps. But Finn, left without an external enemy to direct his anger at, had turned it on himself in their absence.
I wanted him to be happy, but I couldn’t take responsibility for that. If he was determined to be angry, to keep everyone out, then that was on him. Let’s face it—guys PMS too, though with no natural cycle to bring that crazy to an end. Sometimes they just had to follow that sulk to the ground before realising what kind of muppet they’d been. I relaxed against the car seat, the guys noting my softening stance with approving nods before directing their focus back outside the windows. Scanning the landscape, looking for threats, wanting to keep me safe. I was lucky, I realised, and had nothing to be miserable about. I was surrounded by people that loved me, that wanted to look after me where I didn’t have the skills to do so.
I let that warm, fuzzy feeling carry me through until we stopped for lunch. I’d seen weird antelope creatures running in flocks, and clung to my seat with white knuckles as we drove over narrow, rickety looking stone bridges. We’d passed small villages, plumes of smoke spiralling from the top of simple buildings and saw what looked like an ancient temple mouldering in old growth forest. There were a million things I’d liked to have stopped and inspected more closely, but on we drove until we came to a clearing with some strategic fallen stones that looked like they’d be useful as seats and tables. The car in front of us signalled for us to stop, and we pulled over.
I got out of the car, feeling that weird stiffness that comes from too much immobility and shook my legs to get the blood rushing back.
“I’ll get us some food,” Brandon said. “You coming, Slade?”
Both of them eyed a blank-faced Finn, who was just standing there, blinking, as if he couldn’t believe we weren’t before the Great Wolf already.
“Look after our mate, yeah?” Slade said, slapping Finn on the shoulder, to which he nodded absently.
I shook my head and said, “I’m going for a wee.”
In hindsight, wandering off into the scrub of an alien world was perhaps not the smartest. The alternative though, of having a pee right in front of everyone, was pretty unthinkable. We’d explored a whole lot of kinks in my time in Sanctuary, but water sports were off the table. Finn just nodded when I told him where I was going, so I assumed I was safe.
I’d never been a fan of camping. The total absence of bathrooms was a big turn off, and this was doubly so as I pushed my way through weird blue and green-leafed bushes. Some were laden with jewel-like berries that smelled lovely as I unintentionally stomped on some that had fallen on the ground, but I pushed on. Sampling unknown fruit is rookie behaviour, I thought. I found a spot not too far away from our temporary camp, but unlikely to be accidentally discovered. As I unbuttoned my jeans and did what I needed to, I noticed it was incredibly quiet. There was a bit of rustling of leaves, but none of the usual buzz of insects or chirp of birds. Perhaps that’s why I heard him.
“Meep…meep…”
My head jerked around at the mournful sound. I finished up, my heart starting to race, and buttoned up my jeans in record time before stepping carefully through the grass and scrub. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I thought, remembering that scene in one of the Jurassic Park movies where the killer frill neck dino lured people into the bushes and spat acid in their faces. I’m not sure why that particular scene popped into mind, but I crept through the foliage, my claws popping through my skin, ready to at least take acid spitty’s eye out, as he killed me with his overpowered saliva. What I didn’t expect was to see a small bundle of purple fur with massive dark brown eyes and little fluttering wings.
“Meep, meep, meep!”
Fluffy’s little mouth worked frantically at the sight of me, his little limbs scrabbling as he tried to get himself upright, but was unable to. The funny sounds he was making only got shriller and came faster as I crouched down a little ways away from him.
I glanced around, not sure if this was a small animal or something’s young. The last thing I needed was mama…purple people eater turning up, outraged I’d dared to go near its baby. I watched the poor thing thrash about, increasingly desperate to get up, until I saw the problem.
One of its wings was bent back at an unnatural angle behind it, and all its thrashing was just hurting the little guy further. It looked like it was quadrupedal, the way its limbs were going, and that its wings were more to help it balance-wise. Maybe for jumping short distances, but not enough to get him to his feet in his current state.
“Fuck it,” I muttered, images of a similarly hurt Buddy flashing into my mind and tears beginning to prick at my eyes.
I grabbed a stick, thinking that might be a safe way to flip him over and let him scuttle back into the undergrowth to hide and heal. He saw this as a whole other thing. His cries became piteous squeaks for mercy as he cringed back, obviously thinking I was about to hurt him. “Goddammit, do not give me fucking alien rabies. No alien rabies.”
I reached out slowly, empty-handed now. The squeaks slowed, and those big dark eyes watched me carefully, but his meeps became little more than afterthoughts as my hand grew closer.
“Oh!” I gasped when my fingers touched its fur.
It was so soft, like clouds and velvet and duck down had a love child. I resisted the urge to pat the creature’s body, which I saw was about the length of my forearm now I could get a good look at him. Th
e good wing fluttered as I reached under his back and then gently levered him onto his feet.
Those massive eyes blinked furiously, then looked down at its paws as if amazed to see them holding it up. One wing fluttered, but the other still hung at a horrible angle. It looked up at me and then uttered a sad little meep.
“No, no, no meeping,” I said, about to get to my feet. It crept closer with that halting, one step forward, two step back thing wild animals do.
“Meep…meep…meep.”
“Little dude, I can’t help.”
“Meep! Meep, meep, meep!” it insisted, then it crawled over and put one gorgeous tiny magenta paw on my knee.
Well, fuck.
“Do you have any sharp teeth or anything, little guy?” I asked, eyeing the creature. I was trying to be practical. Picking up a wild animal was rarely a recipe for success. It’s meep got more and more excited as I reached for it, until I heard the sound. As soon as my fingers touched the purple fur, an honest to goodness purr rumbled through the creature. “Purring’s good, right, little dude?” I whispered.
He fluttered his bat-like ears in response, and when I lifted him up, he scrambled up my arm, wrapping his limbs around it and closing his eyes. I brought him slowly towards my body, hoping he wasn’t going to go nuts and rip out my intestines, but he just curled up in the crook of my arm, for all intents and purposes about to go to sleep.
Ohhhkay, now what? I couldn’t take a weird alien creature with us to the Volken city. I hadn’t brought Buddy because I didn’t want him becoming collateral damage, and this little guy was equally as vulnerable. I absently stroked purple’s—hopefully non-people eater—super plush fur, and he just snuggled down tighter as a result.
What does he need? I thought, looking around me. I glanced down at his body and saw the wing, which seemed to be the main issue. I needed to make some kind of splint, something that would let him move again and eventually heal. I was searching for an appropriate stick when his ears pricked up. Those huge eyes opened, and his itty-bitty nose began to quiver as he let out a cautious meep.
