by Jana Downs
Cass slammed his body against the cage he was in. “Don’t walk away from me, Tobias.” The mouse ignored him. “Tobias!” Cass snapped, losing his temper. For the first time in the twenty-some-odd years he’d been a gladiator, he completely lost control of his cat and shifted, tearing his clothes as his body switched shapes and became the tiger inside him. He screamed as only a cat can, the noise making his cell mates stir restlessly in their own skins.
* * * *
Tobias shook as he left the house. The noise that Cassisus made as he shifted was one that left him near tears. He’d made the decision to deny their mate bond soon after Master Flavius announced that he would be serving Cassisus his nightly snack from now until the gladiators and their master left for the European circuit. Tobias knew his reactions and wasn’t in the habit of lying to himself. If he let himself talk to the gladiator, get to know him, do all the things his family said that mates did…he’d love him.
That possibility was a frightening dream that would turn into a nightmare. Tobias belonged to the house, and Cassisus belonged to the Ludus. They came from two separate worlds, and it was only a matter of time before they were forced apart by factors beyond both of their controls. Love was a freedom neither of them had. It didn’t mean it didn’t bother him to walk away. In fact, every step away from Cassisus was agony. However, Tobias was nothing if not practical.
He made it to the front of the Ludus and came out into the main courtyard that lay between the houses. The fresh air would do him some good, as brief as it was. It took less than a minute to cross the yard, but he savored the scent of grass when he could. He needed the distraction from the fact that he’d basically told his mate that he wouldn’t give them a chance.
Full night had fallen, and he slowed as he reached the center. There was a fountain and bench located there. He knew from experience if one sat on the other side of the fountain, one could see the side yard where the gladiators practiced in the summer months. The winter air had reduced the foliage to little more than winter grass and shrubs which required little pruning. In full summer, the entire courtyard was filled with flowers. Master Flavius loved flowers of every type, and the gardens of the estate always overflowed with them. This new estate was even more vast, and the gardens, no doubt, would be even greater.
What would it be like to tour the house and gardens with Cassisus? He chuckled at the thought. The cat would probably be uninterested in the architecture, paintings, and gardens. A male like Cassisus would probably be more interested in the wide, wild fields that ran to the south of the estate. No doubt he’d want to shift and roll in the high grass, to jump into the creek where it widened into a larger river on the other side. Tigers liked water, didn’t they?Come to think of it, I wouldn’t mind doing the same thing. Running as far and as fast as his feet would carry him appealed to his animal nature. Wrestling with someone under an unrestricted sun seemed both beautiful and impossible.Like Cassisus.
He sighed and hurried his footsteps, following the gravel path around the fountain and up the stones steps that led into the house.
Chapter Five
“You are to go to him tonight,” Master Flavius commanded as Tobias knelt at his feet after his meal.
Tobias winced. “Master, I do not wish to disobey you, but the gladiator makes me…uncomfortable.”
The normally kind face of Flavius turned absolutely cold. “He hasn’t left his cell for three nights. He refuses to shift, to eat, or to practice. Tobias, what did you say to him?”
He’d never heard Flavius use that tone with him before. “I−I told him that I wouldn’t accept our mate bond.” The words were whispered. Was he to be punished?
“Did he frighten you? Hurt you in any way?”
“No. I never let the conversation get that far. I…Master, please, don’t make me go to him. I don’t want a mate.”
Flavius’s expression softened, and he petted Tobias’s head, the way he’d done when they were little. It was a brotherly gesture designed to settle Tobias’s racing heart. It was effective. Flavius wouldn’t punish him.
“Mates are blessings for your kind, Tobias. It only makes sense that I would encourage the bond between you. If you truly don’t want to be with him, I will not force you. However, if you are staying away out of fear of what will be or what could be, you should reconsider your stance.”
Tobias looked at him and felt the anger begin to build in his chest. How was it that free people always had advice for people who had no choices? “Master,” he said through gritted teeth, “please, leave the subject alone. Master, I will do as you ask, sopleasedo not ask this of me.”
“Tobias, I need him in top shape for the European circuit. Put up with it until we leave for Europe, and I swear to you when we return I will allow you to stop. Give me time to find something else for him to focus on for the time being,” Flavius pleaded. The action shocked Tobias. Flavius was good at giving orders and rarely bent even with his favorite slaves. What was with him lately?First he asks me for my opinion as a friend and then a what? A favor?
“Master, I don’t understand.” Where was the trick? Where was the trap?
“Do this for me, and I will reward you, Tobias. I am not asking you as your Master but as your childhood friend. I can’t grant you freedom from slavery, but I can give you more freedom than you’d find anywhere else in the world.”
“A bribe? A bribe to keep Cassisus company until you leave for Europe?” Tobias couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“I don’t consider it a bribe, but call it what you like. I need him to do well. We have one last state-side arena to go to in New Orleans, and then we’ll be off in Europe. Once the Ludus has been established on the world stage and the gladiators have enough fame, I can cut them down from making so many arena appearances, increase the prices for the ones they attend, and make them do more celebrity appearances. Cassisus is our best hope for the Olympics. If he wins the gold, I can make things better for everyone here. We could have not just a new home but a sanctuary of sorts. Tobias, I have big dreams for everyone, but I’m going to need your help to achieve that dream. So please, Tobias, will you help me?”
Tobias didn’t know what to say. In all his years as a servant, first Flavius’s father’s house and now in Flavius’s house, he’d never been offered this sort of singular decision-making opportunity. He let his own dreams bubble to the surface for the first time since he was a child playing with Flavius in the massive room upstairs where he was made to change the sheets.
“I want a cottage on the grounds. I can still be your personal servant, but I want a space of my own.” His heart thudded as he made the request. Could this really be happening? Had he really said that out loud?
“Done and done. Whatever you need I will provide.” The ease that Flavius agreed with made triumph surge through his veins. “In exchange you will keep Cassisus happy?”
“Until you leave for Europe, I will serve after-meal snacks to Cassisus.” He could keep his heart from becoming involved until then. “But I’m not sleeping with him,” he added as an afterthought. He didn’t know if the saying was true. Where the body went the heart would follow, but he was not willing to find out either way.
“I wouldn’t ask you to whore yourself for anyone,” Flavius said quickly. “I just ask you to talk to him.”
“I can do that. He likes trinkets and stuff, right? Maybe I can order him something to apologize for ignoring him?” He would find a way to keep himself removed from his mate and in return win his freedom. All he had to do was talk to his mate for a few weeks.Piece of cake. Right?
* * * *
Cass slept mostly. Three days after Tobias had walked away from him and he still couldn’t shrug off his cat. His anger wouldn’t abate, and because of that, he couldn’t shift back to his human form. So he slept. He’d swiped at everyone who had even come close to the cage, and even his brother Faustus couldn’t get him out of his funk. His mate had utterly and thoroughly rejected him, an
d nothing was going to change that. The one thing that was supposed to be his was utterly out of his reach. If they let him out, he’d tear the house down stone by stone until he found Tobias and convinced him that he was being stupid.Stubborn mouse.
“Hey, brother,” Faustus said as he came up to the front of the cell. Cass’s eyes slid open lazily from his place on the bed. It must’ve been near the end of practice time if Faustus was here. His little brother typically came over to try and get him to shift to human form whenever they were done for the day. “I’ve got someone who wants to see you.”
Who cares?He didn’t want to see anyone but Tobias, who had made it absolutely clear that he wouldn’t even eat with him never mind anything else. Why was he so upset about it? It wasn’t like he knew the guy.
“Cassisus?” Tobias’s voice penetrated his fog of feeling sorry for himself and had him lifting his head.
Tobias. His cat overwhelmed his logical mind, who was still hung up on the fact that Tobias had left the first time, and jumped up to go over to the bars of the cage. He purred and rubbed against the metal, wanting Tobias’s hands to stroke his neck. Instincts controlled him. His cat didn’t care that he didn’t know anything about Tobias, didn’t care that Tobias had rejected him, didn’t care about anything but the fact that he was here.
Faustus chuckled. “Looks like big brother wants some rubs.”
“Is it okay to touch him?”
Cass smelled fear coming off his mate but didn’t understand why. He wouldn’t hurt him. Why was he afraid?
“Sure. He’s your mate, and hear that noise? It means he’s happy. He wants to touch and be touched. Put your hand through the bars and let him smell. Okay?” Faustus was talking to him really sweetly. Good. He wasn’t going to frighten his mate.
A small hand extended through the bars, trembling as it did so. Cass lifted his whiskered face and sniffed the proffered fingers. He’d eaten something salty earlier, probably crackers or something. Underneath the scent of food and soap was the clean, fresh scent that was all Tobias. He purred louder and lapped at those fingers, stealing the taste so that his mate’s essence played over his tongue.
Tobias laughed and sat down outside his cell, moving his hands down Cass’s head to caress the spot behind his ears. “Will you shift back to human form now and eat something, Cassisus? You’re being stubborn. I’m here now, so you can stop.”
Cass huffed. His mate didn’t sound happy with him. He gave his hand one last lick before padding over to the dresser beside his bed. His anger had vanished at the first tentative touch of his mate’s hand on his head. He willed the change to overtake his muscles, forcing the skin, muscle, and bone into their human shape.
It was always a strange sensation shifting forms. There was always this little thrill of fear that accompanied the action. Once when he was fourteen, he’d gotten stuck halfway in between human and cat. It had been a terrifying experience and one he definitely hadn’t ever wanted to repeat.
He had been whipped for some minor infraction, probably not holding stance long enough. The trainer then had been a big brute of a man who’d decided that inflicting pain while he shifted to be the epitome of a good technique for training young gladiators. He’d panicked halfway and had gotten stuck that way for hours. Faustus had finally talked him out of it several hours later, but the time when he’d been in that position had seemed to stretch on into eternity.
Finally the change was complete, and he straightened, popping his arms and neck from where they’d been cramped from inactivity. Opposable thumbs rocked. He turned toward his mate, who was still sitting outside the cell. He padded over to him and sat down. The anger and hurt his cat had pushed aside the moment before came flaring back to life.
“Why are you here?” Cass asked.
* * * *
Don’tlook at his privates. Don’t look at his privates. Don’t look− Oh Christ! He’s huge. Tobias felt his cheeks start to blaze as Cassisus swung around and casually sauntered over to the entryway of the cell. The bars afforded Tobias some protection but absolutely no modesty for Cassisus. The scent of cat still permeated the air, which the mouse inside Tobias didn’t much care for, but the overwhelming smell of male beneath it had Tobias almost panting as his instinct to mate reared its head. Mice were by nature sexual creatures. Tobias had always been the exception when it came to sex. It figured that it would take finding his mate to awaken his sexual side.
“Why are you here?” Cassisus repeated, glaring openly at Tobias now.
“I−I came to see you,” Tobias stammered. He didn’t add anything about the deal he’d made with their master for it.
Cassisus snorted. “You told me under no uncertain terms you wouldn’t be back.”
“I couldn’t stay away.”Because I want my cottage and the freedom to be employed, not enslaved. Man, I’m a jackass.What kind of bastard used their mate to get what they wanted?
“You couldn’t get away from me fast enough earlier.”
“I changed my mind. What’s the harm in conversation?”What harm? Oh nothing. Just touching and kissing and liking someone who I swore I wouldn’t.Tobias’s heart started to pound. He didn’t need this stress. What if the big male found out that Tobias had only come here so that Master Flavius would keep his word? Men of violence often found it easy to carry that out in places other than the rings. Why had Flavius dangled a bit of freedom in front of Tobias like that?
Cassisus considered him for a minute as if searching for the lies in Tobias’s words. They were there even if they weren’t obvious. Tobias swallowed. He wasn’t a liar. In fact, he hated to lie. So why was he doing it now?
“I’m not a bad guy,” Cassisus said after his consideration. “I’m not out to hurt you. If you’re afraid of that possibility, I can assure you I’m not going to. I know our instincts say that we have to be together, but I think that we don’t have to rush into it.” He paused as if mulling over what he’d said. “And if you want to stay on the other side of the bars until you get to know me I’ll understand.”
It was a sweet gesture. Really. It just made Tobias feel worse though. He was going to crack. There was no way he could keep something like this internalized while his would-be mate suffered under the illusion that Tobias was actually interested in a relationship. He wasn’t that cruel. He opened his mouth to spill his guts, but Cassisus beat him to it.
“And I’ll only expect you to share my bed after you get to know me. I know you probably have your own space, but when we’re really mated, you’ll stay in mine.”
Tobias’s stomach turned.Another form of enslavement. Mating to Cassisus was nothing but the acquisition of something living and breathing to Cassisus’s collection of knickknacks that he had scattered through his space.
“We’ll talk about it then,” Tobias said, silencing the voice in his head that acted as his conscience. It wasn’t like Casslikedhim. Cassisus liked the idea of having a mate. Cassisus was using him like Tobias was using Cass. They both wanted something and were making sacrifices to get it.
Cassisus gave him a dazzling, white smile. “Great.” He sat down, flashing more of his gorgeous body in Tobias’s face.
“Um, brother, I know he’s your mate and all, but his face looks like he’s hot enough to have an aneurism. His head looks like all the blood is pooling there. How about putting on some clothes?” Faustus asked.
Tobias looked up, startled. He’d forgotten Faustus was still there. He’d been so caught between what he was doing to Cassisus, the big, scary, shifted cat form of his mate, and how very naked his human-shaped mate was that he’d completely blanked out Faustus’s presence. Why couldn’t he have been mated to Faustus instead? The other half of the cat-shifter duo was levelheaded, calm, and controlled. He didn’t make Tobias feel uncomfortable, and none of the servants in the Ludus ever complained about him.
Cassisus was a different animal entirely. He was arrogant, pigheaded, and aggressive. According to the servants’ gossip, he was possessi
ve on top of that stubborn streak. He was everything that Tobias couldn’t stand in a person. Tobias’s family wasn’t like that. None of Flavius’s companions were like that. Cassisus was beautiful and confusing. Faustus would’ve been so much better. Maybe Tobias would’ve even wanted to be mated if he had a mate as patient as the man.
A hand reached through the bars and grabbed the front of Tobias’s shirt, jerking him toward the bars so that Cassisus’s face was inches from his own.
“If you ever look at my brother with that sort of speculation again, I will do something I will greatly regret,” Cassisus rumbled. His eyes were narrowed slits reminiscent of his cat form. The ice-blue of those eyes made Tobias shiver. He wasn’t afraid of Cassisus even though he saw anger in those depths. What did one do when one was in the claws of a tiger?
“What would you do?” Tobias whispered.
“I’d beat Faustus’s ass for starters.”
Why did that turn him on? A pulse started beating in his groin in time with his heart.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” Faustus said from somewhere over Tobias’s shoulder. “Unless you need some help, Tobias?”
“You need to leave now, brother, before things get ugly.” Cassisus spoke before Tobias could deny a need for assistance. Tobias didn’t speak. There was a strange heaviness in the air that made it hard to breathe. Their eyes stayed locked on one another. Cassisus’s attention didn’t waver from him.
The sound of footsteps faded away, and the two of them were alone. It was only then that Cassisus spoke again. “Why were you looking at my brother like that?” There was still a thread of anger there but a genuine curiosity as well.
Tobias decided to give him a healthy dose of honesty. “I think it would be easier if your brother was my mate.” The hands on his shirt tightened, bringing his cheeks forward so they rested on the bars. It was almost like Cassisus was threatening to pull him through the bars. Tobias’s hands went through the spaces between the metal and entangled in Cass’s hair.
