The Damaged Heroes Collection [Box Set #1: The Damaged Heroes Collection] (BookStrand Publishing Mainstream)

by James, Sandy

  “Katie? Brian is all right. It’s going to be okay.”

  She swallowed hard and nodded with every intention of moving across the threshold, but her feet remained firmly glued to the sidewalk.

  Seth released the door and moved to her side. “Katie? What’s wrong? Do you want to talk about it?” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led her to a metal bench that overlooked a bed of pink petunias.

  The despair of the past mixed with fear of the future. Love always seems to leave. Always. It took her a few minutes to find the words to explain the tangle of her thoughts. “I feel like I’m six years old again and waiting for someone to tell me my parents are gone.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Seth reached for her hand.

  Katie wanted to pull away almost fearing any more physical contact with him, but she desperately needed his comfort at that moment.

  “There was a car accident. I don’t remember it, but I remember being in the hospital. I hate the smell, like... disinfectant. It always makes me think of that day. I never saw my parents again.” Katie took a deep, steadying breath. “Grandpa came to be with me that night. I stayed in the hospital for a few days, but he never left my side. He was all I had left.”

  Seth squeezed her hand. “What can I do to help?”

  “I need to pull myself together, that’s all,” she replied before taking her hand from his and wiping away the tears that had formed in her eyes. “Let’s go. Sam’s waiting. If they have a gift shop, we need to get some candy. Brian loves anything chocolate.” She chuckled at a thought. “I’d kill for a chocolate rabbit right now.” She followed him toward the entrance.

  Seth laughed as he opened the door. “A chocolate rabbit?”

  “Yeah, like the ones you get on Easter. I love chocolate rabbits,” she replied, happy to have something more pleasant to discuss. “Grandpa used to buy me tons of them when I was little. They always make me happy.”

  “I like the marshmallow chicks better.” He followed her into the hospital.

  * * * *

  After a quick stop at the gift shop, it took thirty minutes to locate Brian’s room in the enormous maze of Methodist Hospital. Katie knocked softly on the door.

  “Come in,” Samantha’s sleepy voice answered.

  Katie wasn’t prepared to see Brian stretched out on the hospital bed. He looked much thinner and very fragile as he slept. A sheet was draped over his injured leg as it rested on what looked like an enormous pillow. The whole thing suddenly moved, and both Katie and Seth jumped in surprise.

  “It’s a machine that keeps the knee moving,” Sam explained. “It rotates every couple of minutes.”

  Sam was lying on a large reclining chair that had been unfolded to make a bed. She pulled the blanket off her legs as she sat up. She had dark circles under her eyes, and it was obvious she was exhausted.

  “I’m sorry, Sam,” Katie whispered. “We didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “No worries. I was up. I can’t seem to sleep. Every time I close my eyes, some damn alarm goes off. And the nurses are in here constantly to take his blood pressure or temperature.” She glanced over at her husband and a small, thin-lipped smile crossed her face. “He sleeps through the whole thing.”

  “Where’s your mom?” Katie asked.

  “She went home this morning. She’s got a farm of her own to run, after all. Once she knew Brian was fine, she headed back.”

  Katie nodded and tried not to stare at Brian lying there like some broken doll. “You need to get your rest too, Sam. So what’s the news?”

  “The doctor who worked on him takes care of Indy 500 drivers when they wreck. According to the nurses, he’s the best orthopedist in the country. He said Brian will be fine, but he can’t bear weight on it for something like six weeks. He’ll be on crutches for a while.”

  “Don’t worry about the stable,” Katie said, hoping to offer something for Sam to hold onto to make the whole ordeal a little easier to bear. “Chris is moving there. He’s going to keep things up and running. I called Rachel, too. Sam, don’t scowl at me. She’s a bitch, but she knows horses. Chris will keep her in line.”

  “Katie, I can’t afford—”

  “Shut up, Sam. Chris is on my payroll and he’ll stay that way. You already pay Rachel for paddocks, now you can pay her for mucking out stalls. It’ll all work out.”

  Sam shook her head as tears came to her eyes. “I can’t let you—”

  “Hush, Sam,” Katie replied. “It’s already done.”

  “Thank you.” Sam wiped away the tears. “I’m sick of crying. I hate to cry. Must be the hormones.”

  “Must be,” Brian said in a weak voice.

  “Welcome back.” Seth gave Brian’s shoulder a friendly pat.

  “I feel like shit.”

  “Probably because you look like shit,” Sam commented in her usual frank manner before she leaned over and smoothed Brian’s bangs away. She kissed her husband’s forehead. “I love you.”

  Sam’s words were a whisper that made Katie’s heart ache. She longed to say them to Seth and to have him declare his feelings for her. If he had feelings for her. She envied the closeness of the Mitchells, feeling smothered by the force of it. Glancing over at Seth, she battled the need to reach out for his hand.

  Brian pointed at the sack Katie held. “That for me? Better be chocolate.”

  Katie laughed and handed him the sweets. “What else would I bring?”

  * * * *

  The ride home was tense, the emotional toll of the day high.

  Seth tried to make conversation. “Brian looked good.”

  Katie snorted a laugh. “He looked like hell... but he’s going to be okay. That’s the most important thing. Sam will have her hands full keeping him on crutches.”

  “He’s pretty stubborn,” Seth added, feeling a bit lame that he had nothing better to say. They needed to talk about more important things. They’d made love—violated the explicit tenants of Sterling Remington’s will. He finally decided someone needed to broach the subject. “You know, I’ve never done that before.”

  He watched a mischievous smile play on her lips. “Oh, I took your virginity?” She placed her hand over her heart. “What an honor.”

  “No. I didn’t mean...” He laughed at her response. “What I meant is that I’ve always had safe sex.”

  “Nice to know. So have I. At least the one time...” Katie closed her mouth without finishing the thought.

  “Was it with Mike?”

  “How do you know about Mike?” She didn’t seem surprised, only curious.

  “Jacob told me.”

  Katie nodded but said nothing. Getting anything personal out of her was agonizing, like playing tug-of-war with an NFL linebacker.

  “I take it you don’t want to talk about him.”

  She shrugged, but the expression on her face didn’t appear nonchalant. The pain was obvious. “What am I supposed to say? The guy played me. Used me.”

  Seth wondered if Katie feared he would treat her the same. “How long were you engaged?” It amazed him he could feel so much naked jealousy over events that occurred before he even met Katie. Even thinking she’d almost married another man made his blood boil.

  “Less than a month. Everyone tried to warn me, but I just couldn’t see it. His over-inflated ego needed more attention than one woman could give. I should’ve listened to Sam. The woman is too smart for her own good.” She shrugged again. “But I thought I was in love.” Katie glanced over at him. “Stupid, huh?”

  “I know a lot of guys like that.” I used to be a guy like that. What kind of guy am I now?

  “You dumb ass!” Katie suddenly shouted.

  Seth wondered for a moment if she’d read his thoughts. “I beg your pardon?”

  She pointed at a teenager in the red sports car. “Nothing. Just a small problem I have with road rage.” Katie threw a nasty scowl at the other driver. The teenager flipped them the bird as he sped away.

  “
I see.” It took him a moment to work up his courage. “Look, Boss, we’ve been dancing around it all day, but we need to talk about this. You know, you could be pregnant.” Part of him actually hoped for a moment she was pregnant. It would solve his problem of deciding between Katie and his inheritance. But, damn, that would be one expensive child. Did the will have a contingency for grandchildren?

  Katie shook her head even as she stared at the road in front of her. “I’m not pregnant, Seth. No way.”

  “What was it you said to me once?” He put his index finger to his lips as if needing a moment of reflection. “Ah... Must be nice to be all-knowing.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Ha ha,” she replied in a sarcastic voice. “I’m not pregnant. I know it.”

  Seth eyed her warily. “How could you possibly know?”

  She looked so unhappy, he wished he hadn’t asked at all. “I had some bad internal injuries in the accident. Grandpa says I almost died. After the surgeries, I’ve got lots of scar tissue all over my insides. I’ve always had problems with my periods.” Her words were slow, labored. “My doctor said it’s likely that... that I’ll have a really tough time ever having kids. He... he doesn’t think it’s possible.” Her sadness tore at him like a knife in the belly.

  “I’m sorry. Must have been hard to hear when you’re so young.”

  “It was hard. But I’ve gotten used to the idea, I guess. Besides, I’m not sure I want kids anyway. Doesn’t exactly fit with my lifestyle,” Katie said in a flat, rehearsed tone that made Seth doubt her sincerity.

  He remembered her tears at The Place when the Mitchells had announced their impending parenthood and wondered if she was lying to herself about wanting children. Or was she lying to him? “I didn’t think I’d ever want kids.”

  “Didn’t?” she asked.

  Seth shrugged. “People change, I suppose. But kids are like big anchors. All they do is weigh you down.” He didn’t realize how cold he sounded until the words were already out of his mouth. I wonder if that’s how Pops felt about me?

  They rode in silence for several miles before Katie spoke up again. “Seth, we have to go back to the way we were. It happened, but it can’t happen again.”

  Seth had been toying with an idea. “You know, it’s only five years. Once I get my money, we’d only have to wait five years to be together.”

  Katie’s face grew hard, determined. “No. No way. When the season’s over, you’re going back to your life, and I’m going back to mine.”

  “But it’s only—”

  “No, Seth. I don’t care if it’s only one damn day. We don’t belong together. We live in different worlds. Besides, you don’t love me.”

  Seth winced at her chilly pronouncement. But do you love me? He couldn’t find the courage to ask.

  She drove her truck through the entrance to Dan Patch and pulled up next to the dorms. “Qualifiers tomorrow morning. Will you be ready?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “See ya in the morning,” she said as he stepped out of the pick up.

  “Yeah. See ya, Boss.” Damned if he wasn’t adopting her twang. He shut the door behind him and watched her drive away.

  When she had talked about her infertility, Katie’s voice had held such a tone of despair it made Seth’s heart ache for her. His father had shared the stories of how long it had taken for his mother to get pregnant. Seth wondered if that was why he’d been so indulged as a child.

  Katie would make a fantastic mother. The woman was patient, kind, and so full of life. An image of a red-headed boy flashed through his mind. The child toddled toward Seth, arms raised high. Seth could almost feel the little boy in his embrace. He shook his head to remove the compelling picture of what could never be.

  Katie was right. Seth had never really loved anyone before, and he wasn’t entirely sure he’d ever know how.

  But if he didn’t love Katie, then why did it hurt so much when she left? Why did he count the minutes until he was back at her side?

  Tomorrow, Seth would try to qualify Spun Gold. For Katie’s sake, he hoped he could succeed. It had all seemed exciting and fun until he’d witnessed Brian’s accident. Now, the seriousness of racing was firmly etched in his mind, and he’d acquired a healthy dose of respect for the men and women who sat in the race bikes day in and day out.

  He was glad Katie didn’t ask again if he was ready to drive in a qualifier. Because this time, his response wouldn’t be nearly as smug.

  Chapter 20

  The morning dawned warm and dry. Seth couldn’t seem to quell his nervousness—or was it excitement?—at the prospect of steering Spun Gold around the mile oval in an attempt to qualify the colt for a real race.

  The sires stakes opening races were quickly approaching, and if Gold didn’t qualify soon, Katie would miss out on the lucrative series of races. Sterling Remington had hoped to give her a winning horse, and Seth was determined to see that everything his father wished for came true.

  Seth and Katie moved around the chestnut, preparing for the race. Gold seemed more reserved than normal, and Seth hoped that was a good sign. Perhaps the animal understood the seriousness of the situation.

  During the warm-up, Seth took the time to give a thorough look to every inch of the track. He searched for any spots that seemed uneven or any place the surface was too deep, anything that could possibly cause the inexperienced colt to fall again.

  Katie grabbed Gold’s bridle as he came through the exit chute. “How’d he feel?”

  “Smooth as velvet. I think he’ll be good,” Seth replied.

  Once they had the colt back in his paddock stall, all they could do was wait until their race was called. Seth paced nervously as he fiddled with the chin straps on Chris’s helmet.

  “You’ll do fine,” Katie reassured. “You know Gold better than anyone. If you tell him what to do, he’ll do it. I’ve watched you train him. I know what you can do.”

  “Thanks, Boss. But I’ve been thinking. You were right before.” She arched an eyebrow. “You know, in his first qualifier.” He saw the understanding dawn on her face with her smile. “He probably should race under cover. I’m not going to take him to the front of the pack.”

  Katie nodded. “I think that’s a good choice. He’ll race well if you tuck him behind a couple of ‘em and watch the outer flow.”

  “I’ll do it your way,” Seth replied before he was interrupted by the judge calling the horses for Gold’s qualifier. “Show time.”

  Katie helped Seth lock the race bike onto Gold’s harness. The colt stamped his front hoof a couple of times. Seth soothed his pet before Katie grabbed the horse’s bridle and led Gold to the track.

  Seth was settled firmly in the sulky with his excess reins tucked under him by the time they reached the entrance chute. As Katie released the horse to his control, she caught his eye. “I believe in you, Seth.”

  His chest swelled with pride. No one had ever expressed that kind of confidence in him or had ever made him feel like he was worth a damn. He swore he would do everything right because this race was for her. “Thanks, Boss.”

  Urging Gold to his natural gait, Seth felt a calm settle over his body and his thoughts. Everything he did seemed almost mechanical, matter of fact. All of his nervousness had evaporated with Katie’s words of praise.

  As the starter called the horses, Seth eased Gold up behind the gate. The colt tested the strength of his driver as he pulled against the reins. “Easy, boy.” Seth gently let the horse know who was in control, and Gold settled into a smooth pace.

  Katie stood by the fence, holding her breath as her lips moved in silent prayer. For all the times she’d seen Brian drive, she should have been used to watching someone she cared about race. But she couldn’t believe the wealth of emotions that hit her from every side when she saw Seth straddling her horse in that small sulky. The terror of knowing the man she loved was so vulnerable overwhelmed her. How could Sam stand seeing Brian put himself on that track? Samantha Mitchell wa
s obviously a much stronger woman than Katie had ever imagined. Her own heart pounded a fast, heavy beat as her stomach churned.

  The gates folded and the qualifier began.

  Katie gripped the fence, turning her knuckles the same shade as the wood’s whitewash. Chris had come to stand by her side, but she couldn’t even take her eyes away from the track long enough to acknowledge him.

  She watched as Seth settled Gold in the middle of the pack through the first turn. Adrenaline had to be flowing through Seth, but he seemed to keep his cool. He tossed a quick glance over his shoulder as he watched the movement of the outside horses begin on the back stretch.

  Katie suddenly saw the perfect opportunity. “Move him outside, Seth. Move him out now.” As if he heard her instructions, Seth eased Gold out between two horses moving into the outer flow. The colt responded without hesitation.

  Chris elbowed Katie. “Sweet! He’s getting a second-over trip.”

  She nodded, well aware of the strategic advantage Seth now held. “Will he know what to do with it?”

  Gold’s pace remained steady and fast, and the colt showed no signs of taking a bad step. The pack moved through the last turn. Katie held her breath as she watched Seth maneuver Gold for the stretch drive. He handled the horse as easily as if he’d sat behind one his whole life.

  To her stunned disbelief, Gold crossed the wire first in a very respectable qualifying time of one minute and fifty-seven seconds. She squealed her thrill and relief as she hugged Chris. “He did it! He did it!”

  “Looks like you’ve got a winner there, Katie!”

  She nodded as she tried to calm the frantic rhythm of her heart. “It looks like I’ve got two!”

  Jogging over to the exit chute, Katie received several congratulations and pats on the shoulder from other trainers, even from a couple of the guys who told her women shouldn’t train horses. Seth eased Gold off the track, and he received the same. Katie was shocked that he also received several requests to drive in later qualifiers, all of which he accepted with a proud, broad smile. While she was thrilled for him to be so accepted and appreciated, part of her wished he would never sit in a race bike again. Ever.