by James, Sandy
Those wonderful words no man had ever said to her. Tears formed in her eyes. “I...I want you too.”
Josh pulled back and watched Sarah, wondering if she had any idea how much he needed to hear her say she cared, even if it was just a declaration of desire. He’d gratefully take what he could get until he had time to win her heart. A quick glance told him Libby hadn’t returned. Not that he expected her to. She would still be out horseback riding with Dylan and his parents. From the position of the sun, they hadn’t napped very long. The glade was sheltered and private. Why not here? Why not now? This place could become Eden.
Sarah squeezed her thighs against his before she pulled back to look at him. “I...I need to tell you something, Joshua. I’m not sure you’ll believe me, but if we’re going to... I mean, if we plan to...” Her face was so red, it might have been mistaken for sunburned. “Well, you really need to know.”
“Then tell me,” he said, still cradling her face in his hands, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. He figured she was going to confess her love for Charlie Baxter. The pain she still bore from the man’s death bore testament to her strong feelings for him. Hopefully, Josh’s love for her could help heal that still open wound. And hopefully, Sarah’s generous heart had room for someone new. “Tell me about Charlie.”
Her jaw actually dropped. “Why would you think I wanted to tell you about Charlie?”
Josh shrugged and let his hands fall away from her face to cover her hands where they pressed against his chest. “I just figured after I told you about Miranda, you’d want to tell me about Charlie.”
“You think Charlie was my boyfriend?”
“Well, yeah. I mean—”
Her laugh interrupted him. “It wasn’t like that. Charlie was my friend, not my lover.”
The reporter in him couldn’t leave it alone, even knowing Charlie was a sore subject she’d avoided earlier. “He wasn’t? I assumed since you took his death so hard...”
She shook her head. “It wasn’t because we were...together. It’s because...” Sarah took one long breath and expelled a sigh. “It was my fault Charlie died.” Her head bowed and one of her tears hit his lap, darkening a spot on his jeans. “I might as well have pushed him.” She struggled to leave his lap. Josh wasn’t about to allow it, grabbing her hips and holding her still.
“I read everything I could find about what happened. He fell, Sarah. It was an accident. That’s all. Just an accident. So he was your friend? You mean your best friend?”
She gave him a curt nod, but didn’t say anything.
“And he never tried anything? Never? Being around a woman as pretty as you, I find that hard to believe.”
Her snort took him by surprise.
“What?”
“I appreciate the compliment, but Charlie never laid a hand on me. I wasn’t what he wanted.”
“If you weren’t what he wanted, the man was blind.”
Her eyes found his, and from the mischievous twinkle, he could see her memory was a good one. “Charlie wasn’t blind. Charlie was...” A flick of her wrist dismissed the topic. “Never mind. Can we talk about something else? Please?”
Since she wanted to change the subject, Josh went after the most obvious question. “Then what did you want to tell me?”
Her smile faded and her head bowed again. “It’s kind of...embarrassing.”
Josh put a finger under her chin and forced her to look at him. “No secrets, honey. If we want this to work—”
“This? This? You mean—”
For once, he interrupted her. “Yes, I mean. I want to be with you. I want to give us a chance. You can tell me anything.”
She closed her eyes and sighed again. Then she grew so still and quiet, he wondered for a moment if she was praying. When Sarah finally opened her eyes, Josh saw her fear. “I want to be with you too, Joshua. But it’s just not possible. Not now.”
“Why?”
“Because I am what I am. Because I’m not meant to... I have amends to make, and I don’t have much... I just can’t.”
He counted to ten, trying to bite back a blunt comment. He only made it to five before it fell right out of his mouth anyway. “You think you’re gonna die soon.” He didn’t want to see her cry again, but he needed to understand. “Why, Sarah? Why do you want to die?”
An indignant gasp escaped those pink lips. “You think I want to die?”
“Well, you just keep right on healing people even though it’s putting you in an early grave. What am I supposed to think? You know, I can’t let you do that. You have too much to give.” He gave her a moment to digest what he’d said.
“This...gift, this curse, was given to me so I could make up for killing Charlie.”
“You didn’t—”
She interrupted with a nod. “I did. And I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
How could he convince her that Charlie Baxter’s death was an accident? “Can’t you even consider giving healing up? Consider that we have something special going on here that’s worth a shot?”
She seemed to work it all through her mind for a moment, and then she simply nodded and stared at his chest. He wanted to rejoice in her quiet acceptance of them being a couple when she mumbled, “I’m a virgin.”
This conversation was definitely not taking the route he’d anticipated. Those three words were the last thing Josh expected to hear from someone Sarah’s age. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. I didn’t date much. And after Mom and Dad died... All I had was Charlie. Hannah married Doug. I didn’t have anybody after Charlie died.”
What could he possibly say that wouldn’t sound stupid or condescending? “How old are you?” Yeah, that was subtle.
Sarah put enough distance between them to sit on his thighs. He immediately wanted her right back where she’d been. “You don’t believe me. You don’t believe I can be thirty and still be a virgin, do you?”
How was he supposed to answer that? It was one of those “female questions” that had no correct reply. If he told her he believed her, she’d say something like she wasn’t good looking enough to get laid. If he told her he didn’t believe her, she’d say something about his opinion of her reputation. “Umm... I didn’t... I don’t...”
“Never mind. Unfair question.”
Josh pursed his lips and blew out a relieved whistle. “Thank you. I thought I was a goner there for a second.”
Sarah smiled at that.
“If you’re telling me you’re a virgin, I believe you. But I also think any male who has come within arm’s reach of you since you were an adolescent is one ignorant man. Or stupid. Or downright gay.”
Her smile turned into a full blown smirk. He’d obviously missed something. But Sarah was so beautiful when she smiled, he didn’t care about her inside joke. Josh just wanted to kiss her again. So he did.
Sarah’s tongue made the first move, and Josh’s world spun nearly out of control. Damn if she didn’t make him think he’d died and gone to Heaven. Her hands reached behind his neck, her fingers stroked the hair on his nape. He rubbed her back and pressed her against his chest, holding her so tight against him, he could feel those gorgeous breasts through his shirt. Was she even wearing a bra? Maybe Sarah hadn’t found one that fit among the stash of clothes vacationing Millers had left behind. He wanted to see those breasts, wanted to touch them, wanted to taste them.
With a gentle nudge, he worked his hand between their bodies and found the top button. When it didn’t unfasten fast enough to suit him, he popped the silly thing off. Then he did the same for the second. The next two gave him little fight, so they stayed attached to the baby blue shirt.
Both hands between them now, Josh groaned when Sarah sat forward, rubbing hard against his erection. He untied the tails and parted her shirt to reveal two perfect breasts. Perfect and pale and begging for his attention. “God, Sarah. You’re beautiful.” He cupped each and rubbed a thumb across her responsible nipples.
She closed her eyes and moaned, the utterly feminine sound making him even harder. He dropped his head and took a nipple into his mouth to suckle gently.
Nothing had ever felt so right to Sarah. Fire shot through her, settling right between her legs. An aching need drove her to lace her fingers through Josh’s hair to hold him against her chest. She moaned again, unable to contain the contented and excited sounds falling from her lips. Josh’s response was to lift his head, kiss her hard on the lips, and then proceed to lave her other breast.
For a few moments, all she heard was her heart echoing in her ears, beating a steady pace. A cadence that sounded oddly like the beat of a horse’s hooves—several horses’ hooves. In her desire-hazed mind, it took some time to register that the sound wasn’t her heartbeat after all. Someone was coming closer, someone on horseback. “Josh, I think Libby’s coming. Do you hear the horses?”
Josh released her breast, gave it a quick kiss, then sighed and pulled her shirt closed. “Yeah, that’s gotta be Libby.” He buttoned her up as far as there were buttons, which wasn’t far enough to hide much. With a sheepish grin, he said, “Sorry about the shirt. We’ll head to town later and get you some more clothes.”
Chapter 11
Sarah let her gaze wander, fascinated with what she saw. River Bend was quaint, a town frozen in time. The long main street was lined with shops. Handcrafted jewelry stores. Art studios. Even an old-fashioned ice cream parlor. The one and two story buildings appeared old but well preserved.
None of the tourists rushed around, pushing and glaring with irritation at the people who impeded their fast pace. Only a few chatted away on cell phones, oblivious to the beauty around them. No one frowned, looking to the world like stress weighed on their minds and souls. The people here ambled, going into shops and browsing or walking along the boardwalk. Sarah loved the snail’s pace surrounding her and was positively enchanted. At least she was until she saw her first aura.
A woman who looked to be in her early sixties walked past Sarah, brushing against her shoulder. When Sarah turned to make an apology, the woman smiled—a weak smile that betrayed her pain. A light surrounded her round face, bright enough to show she was very ill. Sarah stopped in her tracks, unsure as to what she should do.
It was so much easier when they came to her. No decision was necessary. She simply healed them, collapsed into a sleep as deep as death, and arose to repeat the process. But how could she possibly go to this sick woman, declare herself a healer, and...
Josh stepped in front of Sarah, blocking her view of the woman and her aura. “Sarah? What’s the matter?”
Drawing her lips into a thin line, Sarah chose her words carefully. “That woman, the one who passed me a moment ago...” She waited as Josh glanced over his shoulder at the woman then he turned back to Sarah.
“She’s sick, isn’t she?”
Sarah nodded.
“How can you tell?”
“I just can.”
“And you think you should do something about it.”
“I have to help her, Joshua.”
“You don’t know she’s in danger of dying.” He shook his head, the irritation plain on his face. “You can’t save everyone. You’re going to have to come to terms with that sooner or later.”
“But she’s sick and I should—”
“You aren’t God. Nor are you responsible for every sick person you see.”
“I never said—”
Josh took her hand and led her to a bench where he pushed her shoulders to get her to sit. Then he took a seat next to her. “Honey, I love that you want to heal everyone. It’s noble. It’s kind. But it’s killing you.” Putting an arm around her shoulder, he pulled Sarah up against him. She resisted for a quick moment, then sighed and leaned into him, letting his strength bolster her. “Those pretty little shoulders aren’t meant to carry the weight of the entire world.”
Was he right? Was her gift simply that, a gift? Not some tool for her to pay an ongoing penance? For the first time in a very long time, Sarah wasn’t sure where her place was in this world. All she knew was, wherever she belonged, she wanted Josh standing by her side. How had she let her feelings grow so deep so quickly?
“Pop?” Libby asked, coming to stand in front of them. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, we’re fine.” Sarah loved the affectionate squeeze he gave her before he stood up. Pulling his wallet out of his back pocket, he retrieved a gold charge card and held it out to Sarah.
She just blinked at him, not sure why he offered it to her.
“Clothes. You need some new clothes.” Josh gave his daughter a quick head-to-toe perusal. “While you’re at it, maybe you can help Miss Elizabeth here find something in a color other than black.”
Libby scowled at her father before something suddenly perked her up. “Can we get some ice cream when we’re done shopping?”
“Sure. Why don’t we meet in, say,” he checked his watch, “an hour at the ice cream shop?”
Shaking her head, Sarah folded her arms over her breasts. “I can’t use your money.”
“Don’t be silly. A kidnapper has to provide proper clothing for his kidnappee,” Josh replied with a handsome smirk. “How else can I get you to succumb to Stockholm Syndrome?”
Libby cocked her head like a curious toddler. “What’s Stockholm Syndrome?”
“It’s when a person who’s kidnapped sympathizes with her kidnapper,” Sarah replied before Josh could.
He nodded. The smirk became a full-blown smile. “And I want my pretty little hostage to enjoy her captivity.”
Reaching out to take gentle hold of her arm, Josh tugged it until Sarah relented and let him take her hand. He turned her palm over and pressed the card against it.
She reluctantly took the offering. Of course, it wasn’t like he gave her any choice. His generosity was just another trait she could add to the long list of why she’d fallen for him. “Then I suppose I’ll accommodate you. But I won’t spend much. Promise.”
Libby snorted a laugh. “He can afford it.”
“I don’t mean to be nosey,” Sarah said, turning to Libby, “but are you on Spring Break or something?”
“Nah,” Libby replied. “I got my diploma a little while ago. I’m getting ready to start college in the fall.”
A child prodigy. Libby’s intelligence had been obvious from the first time Sarah talked to her. But college at her age? What was she? Fourteen? Fifteen? “Seriously? College? How old are you, Libby?”
“Thirteen.” Libby raised her hands in a faux surrender. “I know, I know. Sounds weird. I’m not a freak or anything. C’mon, Sarah. I wanna shop.” She grabbed Sarah’s hand, pulled her to her feet, and started to lead her away.
Josh reached for Sarah’s other hand, drew her back to him, and gave her a quick kiss that took her by surprise. Libby rolled her eyes then motioned for Sarah to follow her to the clothing store across the street. As she walked away, Sarah glanced over her shoulder at Josh. He stood alone on the sidewalk, watching them walk away.
A little bell jingled above the door as Sarah and Libby entered the shop. More of a boutique than a store, Sarah realized. And utterly charming. Libby started flipping through hangers on a circular rack of shirts. She pulled out a pale blue one, considered it for a moment, and then stuck it back on the rack. “You like my dad, don’t you?” Libby asked, pushing hangers around.
Seeing no reason to keep her feelings from Josh’s daughter, Sarah nodded.
“He likes you too. A lot. You know, he hadn’t even looked at a woman since Mom died. But he looks at you. You two were mighty...close up at the waterfall. And he just kissed you goodbye.” The teen stopped sorting through the garments and stared at Sarah. “I don’t want anyone to hurt him. And I think you could.”
Libby was every bit as blunt as her father. She was also very worldly for her tender age. Maybe kids grew up faster than they used to. Sarah finally shook her head, not even fantasizing that Josh could feel as much
for her as she already did for him. “It’s not as bad as you think. He’s just being nice. I think he feels responsible for me.”
With a responding shake of her own head, Libby said, “It’s more than that. Trust me. No one knows him like I do. He really likes you. He might even love you.”
Sarah dismissed that ridiculous notion with a wave of her hand. “He thinks I need a savior. That I can’t take care of myself.”
Libby went back to shuffling through the shirts. “Like I said, it’s more than that. I remember what he was like with Mom. He looks at you the same way—with those big lovey-dovey cow eyes.”
What an odd conversation. Talking to a teenager about her father’s affections.
“How about this?” Libby held up a shirt.
“What size is it?” Sarah asked as she looked at the cotton blouse in a pretty sea-foam green. Her favorite color.
Libby flipped the tag. “A medium. It’ll fit. Might be a little big.” The teen gave Sarah a good, long glance from head to foot. “How tall are you anyway?”
“Five-three.”
“Wow. I think I hit that at ten.” She laughed at her own comment. “Mom was little too. She always wore smalls or mediums. I always figured we’d be able to share clothes when I got older, but I blew right by her. I’m a medium now and still growing.” With a smirk, Libby dropped her chin to stare at her chest. “Well, not growing everywhere. Mom always said she reached her full height in middle school.”
“Give it time, Libby. Trust me. Changes happen in their own good time.” The figurative door had been left open, so Sarah decided to walk on in. “What was your mother like?”
Handing Sarah the hanger with the green shirt, Libby added three more tops and a pair of elaborately decorated jeans to the potentials. She followed Sarah to the fitting room then leaned back against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest. Sarah was about to apologize for intruding into Libby’s personal life when the girl said, “She was really pretty. I wish I looked more like her. But I’m Pop’s kid. Inside and outside.”
