by Erin Trejo
“Talk to me,” I whisper against her ear, kissing her gently. I’m letting her know that I got her and that she has me, but she doesn’t want to see it.
“There is nothing to say. I’m sorry.”
Pulling my jeans back up, I pull her against me. She doesn’t fight me but that doesn’t mean a thing when it comes to her.
“I don’t know what the hell is goin’ on in that head of yours. I don’t know who has you this upset but I’m sorry, Leesa. If I could fix it, I would. I don’t know what the hell I’m tryin’ to fix if you don’t talk to me.” I know I sound like I’m begging and I may be, but I can’t lose her. Not when I just got her. Leesa takes a deep breath, inhaling as if this may be the last time before stepping out of my arms. She reaches down and pulls her clothes back on before putting on her shoes and grabs her bag.
“Neo?” My mom calls out to me.
I open my mouth to say more to Leesa but she shakes her head and pulls the door open. I want to move behind her, grab her but I can’t.
“Neo?” Mom calls for me again.
“Go to her.”
“Don’t leave, Leesa. Not like this,” I beg her. She gives me a sad smile and moves toward the door as I stand here in shock. I can chase her. I could follow her to the end of the fucking earth, but if she doesn’t want me, what use would it be?
“Neo!” My mom’s scream turns to panic. I’m struggling with what to do. Where to turn. I step toward Leesa just as she pulls the door open and walks out. My heart falls in my chest as my mom screams my name. Shaking my head, I turn and head toward her. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I grab her hand in mine.
“It’s okay, Mom. I’m here,” I reassure her but my heart is crumbling. What the hell did I do wrong? What happened that made her want to run? Why is she doing this? We were fine, everything was fine.
“Neo, I saw Lupe. I saw her,” my mom cries.
Looking down at her, I see the look in her eyes. “You can’t do this to me, Mom. You can’t go, too.” Even as the words leave my mouth, I can feel it coming. The air in the room is thick and every breath I take cuts through my chest like a knife.
“I love you, Neo. I love you.”
I close my eyes keeping her hand wrapped tightly in mine. As I sit here, I do something that I’ve never done in my life.
I cry.
Chapter 20
Leesa
I’ve ran as far and as fast as I can. I’m running out of energy if I’m being honest. My chest aches and I know that it’s from leaving him. It’s only been a week, but I can feel myself breaking in two. I shouldn’t have left. I should have talked to him, told him what was going on, but how could I when Ray nearly killed her? That bullet could have killed her that day. It could have taken her life and that would have been my fault. So I left. I did the one thing that I’m good at. I ran. Now I’m alone and unsure of what my next move should be. I didn’t go to Ray like he thought I would. Fuck him. I won’t let him ruin my life or worse. He has already done more than I can ever erase.
“You look cute,” Abby, one of the girls who works here comments with a fake smile to match her fake tits.
“Yeah, I’m sure I do,” I say, not bothering to look at my reflection. I don’t need to see myself to know what I’ve become, but it’s a job. A job that I need if I want to make any kind of money to keep moving. I miss my friends; I miss my life. I miss him. The ache doesn’t go away. I thought it would but it doesn’t. It lingers there, reminding me of the one good thing I had that Ray took away from me. I should have known better. I should have seen it coming but I didn’t.
I walk out of the dressing room and down the dingy hall in nothing but heels and a bikini that won’t be on for long. I’m not even a stripper although that’s what Joe, the owner, calls it. I’m a fucking whore. A piece of ass that any man can use to his advantage. It’s degrading and I never thought I would be doing it, but here I am. Life surprised me, that’s for sure. As I step into the main room, I find myself wondering how this place doesn’t get shut down. It’s disgusting and everything that happens here is illegal. My mind wanders until hands land on my ass and I fall into some man’s lap. His cock is already hard beneath me and the thought makes me cringe. His lips come to rest on my shoulder as I try to numb myself from the inside out.
“You look good in this but I bet it looks better off,” he slurs, the smell of whiskey on his lips.
I don’t answer because frankly what’s the point? His harsh fingers move to the strings on my hips, pulling them free before he slips the fabric off my body. I watch the material as it falls to the floor next to us. My insides churn and all I can think about was how Neo touched me. That’s the only thing that gets me through this. The man’s hands roam my body before slipping around front and between my parted thighs.
“You want me to eat you first?” he whispers in my ear.
I don’t respond. We’re not supposed to. The men here are allowed to do what they want and how they want so for us to answer them would be pointless. In seconds, I’m hoisted up and lifted onto the table next to us. I glare down at the man as he slides his chair around to face me. He isn’t ugly, which makes me wonder what the hell he’s doing in a place like this. Not that I’d question him. He smirks up at me and parts my thighs, tossing one leg over each shoulder before leaning down and inhaling.
“Jesus, you smell good,” he whispers.
I watch as he motions for someone else to come over when I see the girl. My heart races as she steps up next to him. She’s beautiful. Long dark hair that’s pulled back tightly, bright brown eyes. She doesn’t belong here, that’s for sure.
“You like this one?” the man asks, looking up at her.
She moves closer, eyeing me as she does. Her fingers land on my stomach, slowly dragging up until she reaches the fabric covering my breasts. She makes short work of it, raising it so she can run her finger tips over my nipple. My breath catches in my throat as I watch her.
“She’s cute. What’s your name?” she asks sweetly as she tugs my nipple until it’s erect.
“Lee.” I never use my full name, not here.
Her eyes dance with lust before she leans in and kisses me. I’ve never kissed a girl, not like this. Her tongue plunges into my mouth when I feel fingers trail up my thighs. I gasp around her lips but she just smirks and keeps going. My clit throbs, my body tenses. With both of them touching me like this, I feel like I’m going to explode. I’ve never had a woman touch me but the softness of her touch is alluring.
“You are gorgeous,” she whispers once more before kissing her way down my neck. I arch my back, feeling the man breathing against my pussy. His warm breath turns to heat when his tongue touches me. “He will make you feel good, but I’ll make you come.”
Her words cause me to arch my back, pressing against his mouth. His tongue flicks and twirls as he licks me. Her mouth moves down in a heated path, sucking my nipple between her teeth. I hiss and pant. I’ve never felt like this before. Since I’ve been here, I’ve only felt useless and void, but these two are taking me on a ride that I didn’t know I needed. The feeling that works its way through me is beyond words.
“Move baby, I want to taste her,” the girl murmurs as she moves down my body. She takes his place and he comes to stand next to me, his lips caressing my nipples much the same as she did. Her tongue slowly drags along my wetness, and I gasp at the feeling as her finger slips inside of me.
“You know what they say. A woman knows another woman’s needs,” she whispers before sucking my clit into her mouth.
“Oh God!” I cry out as her finger strokes me inside. I nearly leap off the table as she sucks until my knees shake. Thoughts of Neo and his tongue race through my mind. I want him. I miss him but I can’t think straight when I feel like this. Each thrash of her tongue, each suck of my nipple. I explode into her mouth.
“My turn,” she says softly, climbing onto the wooden table and straddling me. I look at her curiously before she posit
ions herself over my face. I’ve never done this. I don’t know what it’s like, but I need the fucking money so I reach up and pull her pussy to my mouth. She rocks against my touch when I feel her man’s cock at my entrance. He thrusts into me and I nearly bite into her delicate flesh. She giggles as he fucks me and I eat her. I’ve never felt this kind of rush. I’d never imagined having a woman in my mouth, but like they say, desperate times call for desperate measures. I suck her clit into my mouth as her hips move faster. She’s so close. I can feel the way her body tenses over me, and with a few more flicks of my tongue, her cum runs into my mouth. I lick and suck knowing that the money is good, but I also find that I’m liking this. My pussy clenches around the man’s cock before we both come.
“Goddamn, Anna. I didn’t think you had it in you,” the man grunts as his hips jerk into mine.
She looks down at me and smiles before shifting off me. The man pulls out and I’m left there breathless and covered in cum. Anna leans down, brushing her lips over my ear and says, “I think I like you. We should talk when your shift is over.”
I nod my head and watch as she pulls her dress down to cover herself and walks away.
Chapter 21
Neo
I’m angry. I’m beyond pissed off. She left me when I needed her the most, and now that she’s gone, I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m torn in half. I’ve fucked half the whores around here and none of them have made me feel any better.
“How you holdin’ up?” Rebel asks, coming to sit next to me.
“I don’t really know. It’s not like I didn’t see it comin’.” He nods his head, but I still feel like shit. They say there are different stages of grief but all I feel is shit.
“Doesn’t matter. Losin’ a parent is hard,” Ransom adds, slapping a hand on my shoulder.
I nod my head and rest my head in my hands as I sit at the bar. Mom died that day. I knew she was going. I could tell by the way she looked at me and it killed me that Leesa left me that day, too. She left me to deal with the pain all alone and I’m pissed at her for it. I don’t know what the hell happened to her. I haven’t heard from her. Her phone was turned off, and as far as Mystic could tell, it was that bastard Ray who called her. Maybe she went back to him. Maybe I was wrong about her. It’s possible that she loved him and wanted to go back. What the fuck am I thinking? She didn’t want him. I could see that in her eyes, and she told me. She fucking told me!
Nevertheless, I had to bury my mom with only my brothers at my side. They all stepped up and helped me settle all her affairs when all I really wanted to do was crumble. They were there when she wasn’t. They’re always there for me. Hell, that’s why these guys are my family.
“I don’t know what the fuck I feel, brother. I want blood. I want to kill somethin’.”
“I can get you that!” Triton hollers as he stalks across the room. His eyes are angry and it does something to me.
“Oh yeah? What do you got?” I ask, grabbing my drink and taking a long pull.
“Ray. I fuckin’ got Ray.”
The words leave his mouth and I’m not at all sure how to take them. I wanted Ray’s ass since the day that video was sent out, but now that she’s gone, I don’t know what to do.
“How the hell you do that?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.
“Leesa’s little friend from the club next door told me about him. Apparently, he has been stalkin’ around here lookin’ for her.” The smile on his face should leave me satisfied but it doesn’t. There’s a sour taste in my mouth. One that Leesa put there.
“Where is he?” I ask with a growl.
Triton smirks and motions to the back of the clubhouse. I know what that means. He’s here. He’s in my goddamn clubhouse. Downing what’s left of my beer, I shove off my stool and stalk toward the back with the guys right behind me. Something nags at the back of my mind. What am I doing? Why am I going after him if she didn’t even want me? That’s easy. I fucking love that girl. I didn’t see it at first, but I do now that she’s gone. I need her. I need the air that she breathes. I shove the back door open and come face to face with the bastard who hurt her as much as she hurt me. Hell, for that we should have a goddamn beer and talk about life.
“You’re the bastard who sent the video, huh?” I ask, knowing he can’t answer with the gag in his mouth. I motion to Ransom to move it. He pulls it free and comes to stand next to me.
“You don’t know shit about her. She was a whore even back then,” he hisses before spitting on the floor at my feet. I chuckle.
“Was she? Or you just mad she didn’t want you anymore?”
“What difference does it make now? She’s moved on from both of us.”
His words irritate me. I try to shove them off but they just linger there, buzzing in my head. She moved on? What the hell does that mean?
“Care to elaborate on that?” I push him for more information, moving to pull the chair out from the table to sit in front of him. He smirks and nods toward his phone. I grab it off the table and slide the screen to life.
“What am I lookin’ at?”
“Go to the photos, man.”
I click on the gallery and pull up the photos. My stomach drops. There she is looking as gorgeous as ever. Her hair’s pulled back, a smile on her face that doesn’t meet her eyes. She looks lost. My chest tightens.
“What the fuck is this?” I ask, showing him the photos in front of me.
“Her new girlfriend,” he responds with a laugh. I shake my head when Ransom grabs the phone out of my hand.
“That Red Stop?” he asks, looking at the asshole in the chair in front of me.
“Yeah. Bitch has been working there since she left your ass.”
My hands clench in my lap. I want to snap his goddamn neck but instead I look up at Ransom. “What the fuck is that?”
“You ain’t gonna like it,” he says.
“What is it?” I growl louder.
“It’s a whorehouse. Covers up as a strip club.”
Anger eats away at me. She’s been fucking men for money?
“That’s her new girlfriend. She don’t need the dick anymore apparently, although that one has a man.”
I can’t even listen to this asshole. I can’t think straight. She left me for this? Why didn’t I see this shit coming? How hadn’t I known? I feel like a complete waste. Shaking my head, I blow out a breath before looking back at Ray.
“Doesn’t change what you did to begin with,” I tell him, keeping myself calm.
“What difference does it make now? She’s a whore, man!”
I grab my knife from its sheath and quickly stab it into the side of his neck, tired of hearing him talking. Blood sprays my hands as Ransom takes a step back.
“You think that’s what it is?” he asks.
“I don’t know what the fuck I think anymore, Ransom. She left me when I needed her most. Fuck her.” I grit my teeth and stand from the chair, leaving the mess to them to clean up. I don’t need this shit. I don’t need her but that isn’t true either. Since she left, I’ve felt like there’s a hole in my chest. Something is missing and I can’t place it.
I storm back into the main room and grab another beer. Rebel eyes me, Trin at his side. I see her nod toward my bloody hands and start toward me when Rebel stops her. Smart man. I can’t deal with her today.
“If she’s doing it there’s a reason,” I hear Saylor behind me. I should have known that little shit was listening in.
“Don’t matter anymore,” I tell her, taking a long pull from my beer. Piper drops onto the stool next to me and when I glance over, I can see she has something to say too. “Spit it out, P.”
“What? I didn’t say anything,” she says all innocently.
“I can see that look. You ain’t no different than the other women around here. Say it.”
She smiles but it quickly fades. “I don’t have anything to say about her. I don’t know her. I did know your mom though and I’m sorry, Neo.�
� I see the tears fill her eyes before pulling her into my side.
“I’m sorry too. I know you’d sneak over and see her.”
“How?” she asks through her tears.
“Just did. She loved you too, Piper.”
“Leesa isn’t a whore, Neo. She isn’t like that. She never was. If she’s doing that, she has a reason. I promise you that much.”
Say is pissed. I can hear her gritting her teeth when I press a kiss to the top of Piper’s head and release her, spinning to look at Saylor.
“She looked pretty goddamn happy in those pictures!”
“They were pictures. Pictures don’t mean you’re happy, Neo. Jesus!” She screams tugging at her hair. It’s almost amusing to see her this worked up. Triton walks down the hall taking in the scene as he makes his way toward us.
“What’s the fuckin’ difference? Huh? She fuckin’ left me. She walked away! I’m not chasin’ her, Saylor. That’s not me.”
“Not even when you love her?” Her words are a slap to my face. She had to use those words.
“That’s why I can’t chase her,” I say softly, turning away from her. Piper lays her head on my shoulder as I grab the pack of cigarettes off the bar and light one up.
“That’s a weak excuse.”
I close my eyes and turn back to see Henley next to her sidekick now.
“And I’m sure you have an opinion you’d like to share too, yeah?” She raises an eyebrow and I nearly laugh. I motion for her to go on knowing this talk isn’t going to be over any time soon.
“She was afraid. You don’t know what that call was about, Neo. What if he threatened her?”
I raise my arms out to the side, my cigarette hanging between my lips. “What the fuck do you think she had me for? You think I wouldn’t have handled it?”
“She didn’t know that! You two barely know each other.”
“I know enough.”
“Maybe she needs more,” Henley argues.
I should have known better than to allow women in the clubhouse. I get it now why some clubs don’t. These girls are the reason I need another bottle of Jack. Hell, maybe two bottles. I lower my hands to my sides, smoking billowing out of my nose I as look at the attack squad. What if they’re right? What if she needs more? Shaking my head, I run my hand over my face. I’m exhausted. I’m emotional. I just lost my mom and I can’t wrap my head around not having any other family out there anymore. I’m a complete fucking mess and now this?
