by Gail Sattler
The sparkles hadn’t all settled to the bottom when his phone sounded, alerting him to a text message.
It was from Tasha.
I will be late. Overtime. C U in an hour.
He smiled. He didn’t like that he would have less time to see her that evening, but that meant he now had an hour to do a little shopping. It wouldn’t even take him an hour, because he knew exactly what he was going to buy.
He put a frozen lasagna in the oven without waiting for it to preheat, and left. He made it to the mall in record time, and then saved himself more time with his plan. He had a specific destination—the jewelry store. He’d seen the perfect gift in the window, but couldn’t go in to ask about it when she’d been with him. But he knew he would buy it, regardless of the price.
The line was a bit longer than he thought it would be, but he still made his purchase and returned home before Tasha arrived. Not daring to push his luck, instead of wrapping it he hid it in a dresser drawer, then hurried to the kitchen. He slipped on the oven mitts and popped open the oven to lift the aluminum foil that had covered the lasagna and made sure it wasn’t scorched. It looked fine, so he removed the foil, put the lasagna back in the oven to brown, then started working on a salad to go with it.
She arrived just as the coffee was finished brewing.
“Wow. What are you cooking? It smells wonderful.”
“I’m not really cooking It’s a frozen lasagna. When I knew I had an hour, I put it in the oven.”
“That’s awesome. I’m famished.”
He gave a short prayer of thanks, and soon they were eating.
“How was your day?” she asked as she spooned more salad onto her plate.
“I had a repair job on a clogged pipe that I’m not going to talk about while we’re eating.”
She grimaced, but didn’t speak.
“But I can tell you about the razzing I got about my boots.”
“I think it was a great idea to paint your boots black for the Santa gig. Did the paint start to come off already?”
“No. But that was the point. Work boots are usually brown leather, not glossy black, so they really stood out. Someone actually called them Santa boots, so I told him that’s exactly what they were. They teased me about being the old jolly guy, but it was fun. It made the day go faster.”
“I wish something would have made my day go faster.” She sighed, and it sounded sad.
“It doesn’t matter. You’re here now, eating my good cooking.”
“You didn’t cook this. You reheated it.” She grinned. “But it’s still good.”
When they were done he put all the dishes into the dishwasher while she scooped the leftover lasagna into a container and put it in the fridge.
“You look tired.” He bent and brushed a lock of hair off her face.
“I am. We were barely caught up from everyone being sick when we got really busy for Christmas. I think that’s kind of strange. The store sells stationery and office goods—our busiest time is usually back-to-school. It’s good to be busy as the economy picks up, so I can’t complain. I’m just so tired.”
Now that she mentioned it, he looked closely at her eyes and she did have dark circles. Thinking back, he had noticed it yesterday at church. She hadn’t been her usual perky self, but he’d been a little tired, as well. He figured they were both crashing after all the work they’d done on the party.
He pulled her into a hug. “My poor little snow bunny,” he murmured in her ear.
Suddenly, she froze, then began to squirm.
He released her. “Tasha?” Her face had gone pale.
“I need to leave,” she said, her voice kind of croaky, and she wouldn’t look at him.
“What’s the matter? Do you not feel good?”
“You used to call Heather your little sweetie bunny. You just called me the same thing. Well, almost.”
His mind raced, trying to think of what he’d said. “No, I didn’t.”
She backed up a few steps. “You did. Heather was always some kind of bunny to you. Is that what I am? Is that what I’ve been all along? A substitution for Heather, your little sweetie bunny?”
“No...I...” Jeff ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s not like that.”
She backed up again, putting even more distance between them. “I need to go.”
He wanted to grab her and hold her and tell her that it was all in her imagination, but he wasn’t going to make her stay against her will. That would be wrong. Helplessly, he watched as she grabbed her purse and jacket, and ran out the door without putting it on.
It didn’t matter that he used to call Heather cute little bunny names.
Did it?
* * *
“What are you doing home so soon?” Heather’s voice, laced with bitterness, echoed from the kitchen. “I thought you were going to Jeff’s place for the evening.”
Natasha walked into the kitchen. “I didn’t expect to see you home yet, either.” As she spoke, she tried to keep accusation and malice out of her voice. “I thought you were next door with Zac.” After all, his wife and their daughter had gone to her parents’ place for a few days.
While she waited for Heather to reply—not that she really expected an answer—it saddened her to think of what her relationship with her sister had become.
Over the years Heather had always been considered the smartest, the prettiest, the most likely to succeed, and Natasha had always felt second best, never able to equal her sister’s achievements. As a child she’d gone through stages of resenting her sister, but as time went on she’d become as enamored with her as everyone else. When they were children, everyone—their relatives, even their parents—had excused Heather when she failed or made wrong choices. Even Natasha had overlooked Heather’s mistakes. But not anymore. Heather having an affair with a married man, especially while engaged, was too big for Natasha to ignore.
“You told me you were going to stop seeing Zac. You lied to me. Again.”
Heather spun around, staring at her with red eyes and rubbing her blotchy cheeks. “For your information, I did tell him that. But he told me it was over with his wife, that he was going to file for divorce. All they had to do was work out custody arrangements. He begged me not to end it, so I didn’t. We kept seeing each other. Then today he told me that the paperwork has been filed. I thought that was great—we wouldn’t have to sneak around anymore. But do you know what else he says now?”
A pause hung in the air, making Natasha unsure if she was supposed to respond. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to hear this.
“I’ll tell you what he said. He said that he’s been thinking about our relationship, and since I’d been sneaking around to see him behind my fiancé’s back, he doesn’t trust that I wouldn’t do the same to him when we’re married. He said he couldn’t trust me. Can you believe that?” Heather waved one hand in the air and glared at Natasha. “He was cheating on his wife, and now he says he can’t trust me?”
Natasha stiffened, looked her sister straight in the eyes and gulped. “I’m not sure I could trust you, either. Face it, you were cheating, and from what I saw, you didn’t seem to have any remorse about it. You weren’t sorry you were doing it. You were only sorry when you got caught.”
“How dare you!” Heather screeched, then ran out of the room, pushing Natasha out of the way.
Heather’s bedroom door slammed.
Natasha sighed and sank down into one of the kitchen chairs. She hadn’t thought her relationship with her sister could have got any worse, but apparently she’d been wrong. She’d also thought she had a great relationship with Jeff. She was definitely wrong about that, too.
She let her forehead drop to the tabletop, then covered the back of her head with her hands. Her fears about Jeff had been right
all along. All her life she’d lived in the shadow of her sister—always second best, and second choice. Now she was second choice with him, as well. She’d thought things were going so well. She’d even thought he might be falling just a little bit in love with her, but obviously she’d been wrong. He’d only wanted her as a shadow of her sister.
If he could see her sister now, he sure would be in for another eye-opener.
Yet, she hoped Heather would eventually come to deal with Zac’s rejection and realize the error of her ways. Personally, though, she meant what she said. She felt the same as Zac about Heather not being trustworthy. Pointing out to Heather that since Zac was cheating on his wife, he wouldn’t make the best marriage partner, either, wouldn’t help. But at the same time, Heather’s anger over it showed Natasha that Heather wasn’t going to change, or to try to make the situation better. At least, not right away.
In the silence of the room, the sound of the Muppets ringtone echoed from her purse.
Knowing it was Jeff, she couldn’t answer it.
She wouldn’t be a substitute for her sister any longer. It was over.
At the thought, she stood, retrieved her purse, went into her bedroom and closed the door. As she put her purse down, she pulled out the bag containing Jeff’s Christmas gift. Because they’d always been together on all their shopping trips she’d been unable to buy his gift, but she’d seen the perfect thing. Since he got off so much earlier, and since she saw him every evening, she knew she wouldn’t be able to go to the mall in the evenings. She’d run out on her lunch break, hoping for less of a crowd at the mall. It was still bad, but good enough that she’d made her purchase, returned to work and only been a few minutes late.
Now she was never going to give it to him.
But with less than two weeks to go before Christmas, she wasn’t going to brave the crowds again to return it because all her shopping was done.
For today, the only thing she was capable of doing was to wrap the gifts she’d bought, and leave them under the tree.
Every gift except one.
Chapter 13
Jeff poked at his supper, then pushed the plate to the center of the table.
He simply wasn’t hungry. He hadn’t been hungry for a week and a half.
Not since Tasha had dumped him.
Numbly, he stood and walked to the living room window, not to look for her car, which he knew wasn’t coming. He picked up the snow globe with the little rabbit in it, shook it, then watched as the sparkles and snow settled around the rabbit’s feet.
Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and he could envision what Christmas Day was going to be like. He’d planned on taking Tasha to his parents’ home, introducing her as his girlfriend, or maybe more. He’d thought it was going to be the best Christmas of his life.
Instead, it was probably going to be the worst.
He’d left her a few messages on her voice mail, as well as dozens of text messages, but she hadn’t replied to a single one.
Strange, when he split up with Heather, even though he’d felt stomped on and betrayed, he hadn’t felt like this. He’d obsessed more on what he’d done wrong than the loss of not being with Heather as a person and life partner. It hadn’t even taken a week, and he had moved on. After he thought about it more, he’d been relieved he’d seen the light before the wedding, not after. It had been easy to move on.
This was different. He wasn’t relieved, and he wasn’t ready to move on. He would never be ready.
Since Tasha stormed out he’d thought about their last conversation countless times. Now, in hindsight, he could see why she said what she did. It wasn’t true. He wasn’t substituting Tasha for his broken relationship with Heather. What he’d had with Heather was over, and it would never be resuscitated.
Soon after the breakup with Heather, Tasha had made him promise to not go back to the apartment she and Heather shared. He’d thought that was because it would be too awkward for Tasha to deal with the three of them in the same room, and he’d wanted to respect that.
The more he thought about it, he realized Tasha hadn’t been protecting herself. She’d meant to protect him. She probably thought it would be too difficult for him to face Heather when it was clear he was involved with Tasha.
He didn’t want her to protect him. He wanted Tasha to know how he felt about her. Granted, it probably would be awkward around Heather for a while, and probably even for a long time, but he didn’t care.
He was going to do whatever it took to get Tasha back.
And that was going to start with a face-to-face conversation with Tasha. In front of Heather.
He slipped on his coat, locked up and left.
When he arrived at her building, all the visitor parking spots were filled up, leaving him no choice but to park across the street and half a block away. Braving the cold winter rain, he pulled up his collar and ran down the street until he arrived at her building.
Of course, today was the day the woman on the third floor wasn’t sitting on her balcony watching to let him in.
He pressed the buzzer for Tasha and Heather’s apartment.
Heather’s voice came over the speaker. “Who’s there?”
Just what he didn’t want, but he would deal with it. “Is Tasha home?”
Heather’s voice lowered to barely above a whisper. “Jeff? Is that you?”
“Yes. I need to talk to Tasha. Can you let me in?”
“Uh. Sure.”
He waited for the telltale buzz, but there was nothing. He pulled the door handle, but it didn’t open.
Again, he pressed the button. The light went on, but it didn’t beep.
He couldn’t help but look up, but the woman on the third floor still wasn’t there.
He pressed the button another time.
Nothing.
But through the glass door, he saw the elevator open, and Heather running toward him.
She opened the door, but before he figured out what she was doing, she grabbed his sleeve and tugged him to the side. He tugged back, but she tightened her grip.
Rather than cause a scene, he allowed her to lead him away. It just wouldn’t be for very long.
“I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve wanted to talk to you for so long, but I was afraid. Words can’t say how sorry I am, but I’m asking you to forgive me, anyway.”
“I’ve forgiven you.” Trust, however, was completely gone. “But that doesn’t mean I want to resume our relationship. It’s over. Sorry, Heather.”
Her eyes welled up and tears started pouring out.
Jeff froze. He didn’t know how to deal with this, nor did he want to deal with it. “Let me take you back up to your apartment.”
“No,” she said with a big sniffle, and her grip on his sleeve tightened even more. “I can’t let anyone see me like this.” She sniffled again.
Everything in him wanted to pull away from this scene, but he couldn’t leave a crying woman alone in the lobby—especially a woman with whom he’d once had a close relationship, even though there was nothing she could say or do that would change his mind.
“I still love you, Jeff. I always have. I’ve made such a big mistake. Everyone makes mistakes.”
“Sorry, but I don’t love you. I love—” His voice caught in his throat.
He was in love with her sister—the right sister—the one he’d felt closest to all along, in all the ways that counted. But he hadn’t really known what love was. With Heather he’d experienced the dazzle and the excitement. No matter where they went, everyone looked, and he’d felt buzzed to have Heather hanging on to his arm.
That wasn’t love. That was infatuation, and he’d been very infatuated. But not in love. She’d had him wrapped around her little finger, and he’d simply been a sucker, giving her everything
her heart desired, and she desired a lot. He’d spent the majority of their relationship waiting for her words of praise telling him how great he was, and how lucky she was to have him.
Jeff blinked, and stared at Heather’s tears. He should have realized this before. Heather knew all the right moves to keep his attention, and he’d been suckered into every one of them.
But when it was time to talk about what really mattered, Heather was never interested. The one he’d had all those heart-to-heart talks with was Tasha, while Heather was getting ready. Tasha was the one he felt comfortable with. They shared all the typical common interests that held a couple together. He could talk to her about anything, anytime. Likewise when something bothered her, he listened, and he could usually relate, and sometimes even give her suggestions to help.
The friendship he’d had with Tasha all along was the base on which a solid relationship, and a solid marriage, was made.
Tasha was pretty hot, too. He’d always thought she wasn’t as gorgeous as Heather, but then he’d never seen Heather without all the prep work. Now that he thought about it, Tasha was hotter than Heather because she didn’t need all the accessories and the hours it took to apply them.
Yet, he hadn’t seen it.
He was an idiot.
He took the wrist of Heather’s hand that held his sleeve in a death grip.
“Please let go. I need to go talk to Tasha. That’s who I came to see.”
Heather shook her head. “Natasha’s not home.” She sniffled again. “Please, give me another chance. I broke up with Zac. When we met he gave me such a sad story, I just wanted to help him. I don’t know when it turned into more. But I saw through it all. Just a little too late. I love you, and I’ll always love you.” She gulped. “I promise I’ll be faithful forever. I’ve learned my lesson. You don’t have to settle for Natasha. I love you and I still want to marry you.”
At her words, Jeff froze. He didn’t know how he could be any more specific.
“I—” Before he could get another word out, Heather launched at him. She threw her arms around him and pressed herself to him from head to toe.
