James walked aimlessly into the kitchen looking lost. He must have felt my eyes on him because he tilted his head back. I leaned on the smooth varnished rail and tried to relearn how to breathe. He walked out of my line of sight but I knew he was headed to the stairs. I just knew. I only had to hold on as long as it took for him to get to me—just that long and no more.
The thump of slow steps let me know he was on his way. When he appeared he looked as hollow and grief stricken as I did. I yanked our shields down because I wanted to feel him. With long strides his legs ate up the distance and he scooped me up with one hand across the middle of my back and the other tangled at the nape of my neck. He swallowed my fear with a kiss and then set me down on my feet.
“The Council members are gone, along with our chance for a surprise attack. I think we should try to defend our stance tomorrow when things are more settled.” His voice sounded lifeless.
I regarded him out of the corner of my eyes. “How are you?”
He rubbed his whiskered chin. “I can’t stand to talk about it right now. Where’s Silver?”
“Hiding out, James. Can you blame her?”
He took a deep breath and whispered, “Not really.”
As his thoughts shifted, I could see them dancing across his face, bare and exposed.
I sighed. “I need to get food, but right now the idea of eating makes we wanna vomit. How are we going to explain this to Reb and Ray?”
James held up his hands in a stop gesture. “Whoa there! Maggie is their mother, not you! Let her handle this with her kids and you deal with your own troubles without borrowing other people’s loads.”
I slid back a step and crossed my arms. “Are you mad at Silver?”
He cupped my elbows and his hands felt chilled through the cotton of my shirt.
“I’m not mad at her. I’m mad at Kara, and looking at Silver trapped in Kara’s body makes me infuriated and sad. It’s not fair, Cass. We were just starting to figure it all out! I know it can’t be comfortable for either of you being forced apart.”
I changed the subject, relieved at his explanation. “What did Malcolm’s fellow men-of-the-law have to say?”
James pushed my hair behind my ears, distracted. “They aren’t happy. I gave them some cock and bull story about Malcolm asking us to bring him something to eat and Kevin finding him thrown from the cruiser. Malcolm played the ‘I can’t remember anything’ card because of his head injury. There are just too many unanswered questions. Our explanations have Swiss cheese holes. I don’t think this is going away until they’re satisfied.”
I reached high and fake punched his chin with an exhausted grin as my stomach gurgled. “Eventually Murphy’s Law will give us a break, James.” He caught my wrist so fast I didn’t see his hand move. I hissed, “Cheater.”
“No such thing as a fair fight, Cass. Let’s go eat.”
He tugged my arm and I hesitated.
“What now, Cass?”
My head jerked side to side. “Silver. I don’t like her holed up and ashamed.”
James blinked a few times and his lips went bloodless as he pressed them together in a thin line. I could see the strain and the unprocessed grief he was holding in check.
Out of the blue he asked, “Can she bend light?”
I shrugged. “Kara could, so she probably can.” That question led to another as realization dawned. “James, our power circuit is incomplete. We no longer have a fourth to make a tesseract and draw energy. Effectively, we’re grounded.”
With feeling he muttered, “Shit!”
I pinched my bottom lip between my index finger and thumb and eyed James.
He ran his fingers over his eyebrows and then pushed against his temples making his skin wrinkle unnaturally. “Well, that sucks.” He grabbed my hands and squeezed a little too hard for emphasis. “Back to Silver—can she make herself look different? Not enough to confuse Reb and Ray, but enough to give me a little relief?”
I ducked my chin and pulled our shields back in place so Corinne wouldn’t get antsy. “I’ll go talk to her. We’ll be downstairs in a minute. Forewarn Maggie.”
He rubbed his fingers together with a faraway look in his eyes. “I feel numb sometimes. Cut off from life when I’m under this thing too long. Do you think Kara felt the same? How did I not see her falling apart, Cass? I’m her brother. She was my only family. I failed her.” The last three words were full of misery.
I placed the base of my palms on my waist and barked, “Listen here, Lee. I’m not having that kind of talk! Kara told me today Gerome left her a note that said, ‘Choose well and be at peace.’ I’m more stinking mad at my dead uncle right now than anyone because obviously he had an inkling she might will herself to die and basically encouraged it. You didn’t fail her, James. She hid her pain intentionally, and she didn’t want to be saved. I feel guilty too. In reality though it was her choice. Kara did this to us all and I’m mighty pissed off!”
He passed the knuckles of his right hand over my protected lips. “I love you too.”
The steady thump of someone coming up the stairs made us turn. Corinne appeared with two plates full of pizza and canned Dr. Peppers stuffed in each armpit. The burgundy aluminum was frosty. She took us in for a moment then explained, “Maggie sent me up with food. I think she’s just trying to keep Melody placated and me out of the way.”
I smirked. “Well c’mon then. Maybe you can help me convince Silver she doesn’t have to hide.”
James looked uncomfortable. “I’m gonna head back down.”
I nodded wordlessly, mouth tight at his evasion of Silver. It was understandable but it still made me uneasy. He caught my silent disapproval and his eyes overflowed with emotions. James was holding on by his nails. My lips spread in a wide smile even as my tear ducts tried to make like Niagara Falls. I held it in, just like James. We both took a deep breath in tandem and he walked away.
When my gaze settled on Corinne she was studying my face intently. I squirmed. “What?”
She came back to herself with a miniscule shiver. “Your food is getting cold.”
The hallway felt more empty than normal, as if all the unoccupied air was muffling any proof of life. Long angled gray shadows spread across the walls like hungry wraiths. Just before I opened the bedroom door I heard a wrenching, heart stopping sound. The hinges protested as the door swung open to reveal Silver in a slobbering sobbing heap on the bed. She was hysterical. I put on a burst of speed and tried to wrap my smaller body all the way around her larger one like a living cocoon. I shredded the shields separating us and then covered us as one unit. She clutched at my arms so hard her nails dug into my biceps through the thin fabric of my sleeves.
Cool clarity washed over us in a tide of comforting reason. We both stilled, frozen in shock at the sudden lightening of the emotional load out of nowhere.
Two solid clunks and a soft abrasive sound accompanied Corinne’s voice. “Now that we’ve gotten the crying out of the way, ladies, what seems to be the problem?”
Still holding Silver close I aimed a surely dumbfounded face at the petite blonde. She was standing next to the dresser where she’d dumped the sodas and paper plates of congealed cheese triangles. “Is this what you used to do to Cora?”
Corinne looked at me straight on then stared hard at my twin. “Yes. Back to the now, please. What’s wrong, Silver?”
Kara’s arms pushed at me. I let go and stood by the side of the bed.
Silver croaked, “I can’t get to the Web.”
My stomach did a jellied flip flop then burned up with the acid of my fear. Any time my emotions got too strong I felt them slide off into the ether. It was uncomfortable to know I was being manipulated so intimately by someone other than Silver. My objection came out less of a scoff and more of a squeak. “You’re a Weaver of course you can access the Web! Kara could too.”
Corinne spoke up, expression prim and reproving. “Perhaps instead of making statements without knowle
dge we could examine Silver’s essence in the Web to determine what’s really happening?”
Two pairs of light brown irises rolled in sync at her tone.
I closed my eyes and drifted with ease into the alternate plane that had once been a mystery and then a revelation. I oriented myself and focused on Silver’s separate essence, now attached by a fine line. Our bond was solid and I surged through it on instinct when I couldn’t sense Silver’s mind.
From nowhere Corinne’s voice commanded, “Stop!”
I withdrew into myself and angled toward the crusted clear surface of Corinne’s frozen sphere. Her spinning mercury core was sluggish, giving the impression of a great weight. Considering we were in the ‘no up or down’ acid trip dimension of our minds, that was saying something. The state of her essence was a concern on a veritable mountain of unease. I shot back an irritated, “Why?”
“Have you ever heard the expression fools rush in?”
“Corinne, everything I do is based on critical thinking and experience with a lot of gut instinct thrown in. My first impulse was to combine with Silver so she wasn’t alone. It felt right.”
She became smooth like a diamond and all the cracks on her exterior morphed into fine, straight, translucent lines but her mercury core was still off-center. “I fail to perceive the critical thinking or experience in that statement. It sounds like impulse and emotion to me. What if you join with Silver and become trapped as well? Where are we then, genius?”
Off the subject I asked, “What do you do with the emotions you drain away, smarty pants? You don’t look well.”
She stilled and shrank. “I’m fine.”
“Oooh ‘fine’—the universal code word for Houston we have a problem! You didn’t answer my question.”
She got snooty. “We’re here to help Silver not nitpick me.”
I had a revelation. “You’re emotionally constipated aren’t you?”
Mental tone deadpan, she replied, “You lost me with your advanced technical terminology and astounding critical thinking skills.”
I felt my white lights pulse and crackle. I shot lightning streaks outward for emphasis and increased the volume of my voice in anger. “Answer me!”
Corinne bobbed in the wake of my outburst like a fishing float on a lake.
She squeaked, “I can’t let go.”
“Okay so you need a release valve. Imagine one and be done with it.”
Her voice took on a vulnerable little girl pain. “What will happen to it? Where will the bad things go? Could they hurt other people like my mother did? I won’t be like Cora.”
It always came back to fear—fear for others and fear for yourself. “You aren’t your damn mother. Look around you. Those clouds floating everywhere are thoughts and memories Weavers just like us couldn’t bear to carry so they let them go. Are they hurting anyone?”
She was silent a long time before she sent, “I can’t argue with your logic.”
“Cool—now take a monster dump. Aim it away from us though. It’s only polite not to shit on us.”
Corinne’s sparkling sphere spun then settled. “Funny—ha. Later. Not now. Now is for Silver.”
“Fine but I’m tattling to Kevin and he’ll make you.”
Displeasure radiated in a swath of forceful heat. “Explain your theory on combining your essence with Silver.”
“Back on Axsa when she first formed a bond with Mez we separated temporarily and then rejoined. I think if I could do that with her now Kara’s body might reset and release its death grip on her mind and soul. Call it a reboot.”
She paused. “I have a reservation or two. One—what if you become trapped as well? Two—what if this reboot makes Silver’s stay in Kara’s body permanent?”
Anxiety rippled in me like a wild electrical current and jolts leaked out against my will to whip and crackle with sibilant hisses. “It’s better than where we are now isn’t it?”
“Would your sister be okay with you making this decision for her? Should we ask her?”
I mulled the conversation Silver and I would likely have around and my resolve firmed. “She can’t live without Web access. It would literally kill her.”
Voice dark Corinne asked, “Do you think we’re being manipulated by Kara or Gerome to do this?”
I knew Corinne was referring to my uncle’s ability to foresee probabilities and outcomes for the future. It was true he could have colluded with Kara to lead us to this moment in hopes that we would choose a path that met some desirable end. “It’s a possibility but do you see any other way besides doing nothing?”
Troubled, she said, “No.”
I didn’t give myself room for doubt. I surged through the bond that snaked toward Silver and into the unknown.
Chapter Eight: The Only Constant
The warmth and welcome of my twin’s soul filled me. Her love was a balm to the terror and grief of the day.
“Holy cow! I thought I’d be alone forever, Cass! What took you so long?”
“Uh, apparently Corinne’s got problems. I had to sort her out and convince her that me joining you was the right thing to do. She’s afraid we’re both gonna be stuck in Kara now.”
“Shit, are we?”
Immediately we stretched together and met no resistance. I hazarded, “I’d like to try something. You go back to our body and I’ll stay here.”
We did the delicate dance of extraction from each other’s essence and Silver cast herself with uncharacteristic timidity toward our bond. Her mental voice sounded garbled like it was traveling through a tin can running over a washboard.
“There’s resistance, Cass. A rubber band tug with an off sensation but I made it!”
“Okay, good! I’m going to attempt to join you.”
As soon as I touched the bond and began to traverse it, a sickening lurch occurred—a catapult or slingshot sensation overtook me and when I could get myself reoriented I realized Silver was back where she started and so was I.
Corinne whistled. “That was something. It was almost akin to watching counterweights balance but with light and an electrical storm thrown in for good measure.”
Silver snapped, clear and loud, “I’m so glad we’re entertaining you.”
I whooped. “You can sense the Web now!”
Mollified, Silver flexed and rolled. “That’s progress but I don’t wanna be stuck over here forever, Cass. What about us?”
My heart twisted. “I know, Silver. There’s a hollow in me where you belong. As far as ‘us’ goes, no matter how long you’re away we’ll always be a unit. You and me, me and you, baby.”
Anguish came in a wave. “I keep reaching for you.”
Corinne cut in, “As touching as this heart to heart moment is, I’d like to move forward. We’ve established Silver can access the Web, unlike other Weavers, though she appears to not be able to flesh unless someone takes her place in Kara’s body. Does that sound like a logical hypothesis?”
Before Silver could speak I said, “Yes that sounds plausible.”
“Is there anyone on Axsa that could help? Do you think they would have memories in their collective knowledge that might hold the answer? Do you know anyone you could trust?”
Silver chirped, “Sil?”
Corinne’s cold tone was grating. “Who is this Sil and why should we trust him?”
Forcing my mind to patience against the heat of my sister’s silent flares of irritation I responded in an even tone, “He’s a close friend of Kal’s and Hearra of Gield Andgiet—or translated to English, Master of the Guild of Knowledge. He’s an Axsian scientist.”
“He sounds optimal. Contact him.”
Silver growled, “Quit trying to command us, Corinne!”
Now that I was more aware of her situation I picked up on the tiny emotional puff that preceded her surface lockdown at Silver’s censure. There was the smallest hint of confusion, fear and shame. I was fairly certain Corinne didn’t know how to have a ‘normal’ relationship
. Kevin was the exception, and she trusted him implicitly.
I issued a soft command of my own. “Silver, go stretch your legs and find Sil. See if you can break off a probe still. We need to know how handicapped you really are.”
The pale lavender of my sister’s shell split with almost no finesse and a bulb of pale white burst free. Her mind couldn’t leave but her concentration followed as the tiny blip streaked at high speed to disappear in a blinding yellow flash. The root of her essence rocked in the wake of the hastily made probe’s departure. It was almost as if this part of her mind was asleep.
Corinne asked, “Why did you distract her from me? She was angry and you intervened.”
I paused. “You were hurt by her reaction because you didn’t understand why she was mad, so I covered for you. Sometimes you sound hard and heartless when I think you could secretly be the nicest person I’ll ever meet, besides Maggie of course, and even she has her moments.” No telltale emotional smoke escaped, but I could sense she was pondering.
“Are you trying to make friends with me?”
I decided to be blunt. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Do I have to have a reason other than the one I just gave?”
The translucent crust thickened, making her mercury core distort. “Most people have needs and they pursue those needs at the expense of others with smiles and offers of companionship when they mean none of it.”
“Is that a quote from Cora or your own observation?”
She hesitated, like she’d had an ‘ah-ha’ moment. “A little of both but mostly my mother’s voice drilling in my head.”
I tried a different tack. “If it makes you feel more comfortable I’ll break it down to needs. Silver and I have a need to surround ourselves with Weavers we can count on. I find the fact that you try to protect everyone around you from harm appealing. I do the same thing so we have that in common. You aren’t afraid to tell me or Silver when we’re wrong. Sometimes we just need someone to talk to that will understand. You are what we need. Furthermore, I know you need us, Corinne.
PHOENIX (The Weaver Series Book 4) Page 7
